*Hey guys, I wanted to thank you for the reviews. They really do keep me posting. I hope you enjoy the new chapter. Let me know if you like the POV change. I don't know if I'm going to do it again. It'll depend on what you all think. Also, there is a possible trigger in this chapter. There's a torture scene. I just thought you ought to know;)*
I jerked awake disoriented. Where the hell am I? I tried to look around but my head throbbed. I was strapped down to some kind of metal restraining table. I closed my eyes trying to stay calm. I'd always been a bit claustrophobic, being restrained like this was one of my worst fears. I was trying my hardest to keep myself from panicking. A presence in the corner brought me a welcomed distraction. I looked over to see the mask of Kylo Ren. He was sitting in the corner staring at me.
"Your incredibly creepy ya know. Where am I?" my voice was raspy, my throat dry.
He stayed quiet for a beat; irritating me.
"You're my guest," he said.
I lightly slammed my head against the table. Id never met someone so irritating before.
"Where are the others?" I said worriedly.
The fear for my friends outweighed the fear for myself.
"You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?" he asked.
I glared at him if looks could kill Kylo Ren would be no more.
"Your opinion of them matters not. After all, we think the same of your lot. Its a matter of perception." I said nonchalantly.
I smiled at the annoyance I could sense coming from him.
"You'll be relieved to hear that I have no idea where they are," he answered.
I sat my head back against the table and let out a breath. They were safe, that's all that mattered.
"Do you want to kill me?" he asked.
The question confused me and I felt genuine curiosity and apprehension coming from him.
"Isn't that what happens when your being hunted by a creature in a mask?" I said, still slightly confused by his tactics.
I knew I didn't actually want to kill him, but he didn't need to know that. Maybe if he thought I wouldn't hesitate to kill him, I wouldn't have to find out if I would.
Kylo hesitated only for a moment before he reached up and removed his mask. Even though I'd seen his face before during one of our Force connections, it still took my breath away. I'd forgotten how beautiful he was. He stared into my eyes watching my face. I forced my expression to go back to one of defiance instead of wonder.
"Tell me about the droid." he slowly said.
I sighed, already sick of this conversation.
"Well, he's called BB-8, Although I call him BB. He seems to prefer it. Would you like a description?" I said in annoyance.
I knew defying him was dangerous, but I didn't care. The important people were safe.
"He's carrying a section of a navigational chart. We have the rest, recovered from archives of the Empire. We need the last piece. And somehow I know you convinced the droid to show it to you. You, a nobody from Corellia." he said, in slight wonder.
I looked into his eyes.
"What happened to me not being a nobody? Would a nobody have a Force connection with THE Kylo Ren." I used my best exaggerated and arrogant tone.
"We have NO connection; you are nothing." I watched him huff in anger.
I hid the hurt I felt and rolled my eyes. "Okay, Kylo. Your right, I am nothing. You took the wrong girl"
I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I asked the Force for strength, I felt weak and so tired.
"You know I can take whatever I want. You're weakened," he told me.
I felt trepidation flash in my eyes and recoiled as his hand came towards me. Force gives me strength. He almost touched my face, and we both felt surprised as an energy passed between us. Our connection. I strained trying to free myself, it was hopeless. He had me right where he wanted me. I felt a pull in my mind as he tried, yet again to access my thoughts and memories. I fought back, I refused to give him what he wanted. If he continued to believe I could show him the map. That would give Rey more time to find Luke. At this moment I hated Kylo Ren. I glared at him, my expression one of obvious disdain. I fell back my energy gone. I had nothing left; he was right, I was weak. His mind finally found mine.
"You're so lonely, so scared. Not of me, but of yourself. You fear your powers. You fear losing your friends." he told me, quietly.
A smile appeared on his face, and I hated it. "At night, you miss me. You miss our connection."
I leaned forward anger fueling me. He was making a fool of me and I wouldn't allow it.
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed.
I started to fight back again.
"I know you've seen the map, it's in there. Ill find it." He leaned closer, our faces only inches apart. "Don't worry El, I feel it too." he continued.
I leaned forward closing the distance between us. "I won't give you anything."
I knew he could feel my hot breath on his face. His eyes moved to my lips and I watched his mouth open slightly, his tongue darted across his lips. I tried to ignore the urge to kiss him, but I couldn't deny it was there.
"We'll see, I know you won't be able to fight me much longer." he raggedly said.
After a few minutes, Kylo's confidence faltered, as I gained my footing. I could feel the wall he had built up against me. The more I pushed the weaker it became. He couldn't keep me out, and I started to believe maybe he didn't want to. I smiled in exaltation as I broke through the final bit of his wall. I could feel him all around me, it was exhilarating.
"You...your afraid...that you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader." I spat.
Kylo quickly withdrew his hand, and my connection with his mind abruptly ended. I fell back, once again exhausted. Ren stood up straighter and put his mask back on. He left the room without saying another word to me. I closed my eyes and used this small moment of peace to rest.
* Time Lapse*
I awoke to a trooper entering the room with a tray of food in his hands.
"I'm here to feed you and then you're to be restrained again," he told me.
I nodded too hungry to argue. He laid the food on a metal chair in the corner. The one Kylo had used. He unstrapped me, I rubbed my aching wrists and bolted to the tray of food. It had been over a day now since Id eaten. I gulped down the water greedily and was sad when I could see the bottom of the cup. I cleared my sore throat.
"Could I possibly get more water?" I could barely hide the pleading in my voice.
I hated to beg, but I needed strength if I was ever going to escape this hell. The trooper looked at me in silence and then took my cup.
"I have permission from General Hux to subdue you in any way necessary; so don't try anything," he warned.
I smiled at the trooper and crossed my heart. He left the room and I could hear him access the panel to lock the door behind him. It was completely unnecessary, I wasn't stupid. There was no way Id try to escape without a plan. Id likely be killed, and it wasn't worth the risk. I didn't even know where I was. I ate the food, trying to ignore the taste. Beggars can't be choosers. The door lifted open as I finished. The trooper handed me the now full cup, and I gulped it down quickly. I smiled at him thankful.
"Whats your name?" I asked, trying to make conversation.
I wasn't sure If troopers even had names, but he had been nice to me. It was only right I knew his name.
"AN-2457," he told me.
I frowned, I would not call him that. Even pets get named, and he was human for Force sake.
"I'm gonna call you Aiden. AN Aiden. I like it." I said.
Aiden mulled it over for a few moments and then chuckled. It was an odd sound coming from his mask, but it wasn't menacing, like Kylo's. Aiden looked around and then slowly removed his mask. I was pleasantly surprised. He was handsome, and around the same age, I was. He had a broad, defined chin and blonde hair. His eyes were a beautiful blue, they reminded me of the sky.
"Thank you, I've always wanted a name. I'm sorry to do this, but I have to restrain you again." His face fell, and I felt for him.
He had no choice, not everyone got as lucky as Finn. Escaping especially now would be a death sentence.
"It's ok, I understand," I told him.
I stood up and laid back on the table. He strapped me down gently, this time through, the straps didn't dig into my skin. Aiden placed his helmet back on and patted my shoulder.
"I'll let General Hux know your done eating. Maybe he will send someone to take you someplace more comfortable." he sadly said.
I offered him my thanks and tried to fall back asleep. Not even an hour later the door opened, and someone new came in. He had bright red hair that stood out drastically against his pale pasty skin. I remember reading a story once from earth; it had a family of redheads in it, he'd fit right in. His eyes were dull and lifeless, a permanent scowl rested on his face.
"I've been told you resisted Ren. I'm impressed, not many people can. Even so, I need the information you hold and I've been given permission to gain it." He walked back and forth in a straight line in front of me as he spoke.
I held back my many retorts, I knew whatever was coming was bad, I wasn't dumb enough to poke the bear.
"I have someone I'd like you to meet. She's an expert at taming those who want to be defiant. Captain Phasma." he said evilly.
The door swung open and in walked a woman in a silver stormtrooper uniform. She had a box in her hand, and I didn't want to find out what was in it. I calmed my shaking body. I wouldn't appear weak. They would not break me.
"Have fun ladies. Phasma, show no mercy." With that Hux left the room.
"So you're the Force-sensitive resistance fighter? Hm, somehow I'm not impressed," she smirked.
Her masked voice a feminine version of Kylo's, their masks hiding their true selves. In my eyes they were cowards, hiding behind a mask to try and strike fear into the hearts of their innocent victims. Phasma opened the door once more and drug in a tall metal table covered in tools. She placed the black box on top and grabbed a roll of thick silver tape. She used it to cover my mouth, and tape down my hands so that I couldn't move.
"I wouldn't want our fun to end, so no Force, sorry. She then held out a black blindfold. "In a moment I'm going to place this on you, but first I want to show you my toy." She opened the box and pulled out a sharp red knife.
"This beauty here is my favorite. You see I can cut you over and over, never having to worry about blood loss. Because it cauterizes every wound I make." Phasma laughed, a terrible evil laugh.
I had never been this scared in my entire life, but I wouldn't show her. I would be strong. She waved the blade across my face, the heat causing my skin to blister. She placed the blindfold on me. I closed my eyes as tears tried to escape.
"Where to begin? Let's start with your neck, that'll be fun. After I play a bit I'll remove the tape, and we will see if you're ready to talk." she said.
I kept my eyes closed, begging the Force to keep me strong. I felt the first cut, it was like magma. I bit my tongue and held back my screams. Once she was done with the first she went on, not stopping for more than a second. She held the blade under the side of my chin and cut down until she met my collarbone. I tasted blood as I bit down harder on my tongue.
"Oh, we have a strong one. I like em strong, makes you more fun to break." she laughed.
I felt her move the knife from my neck. "Let's try this beautiful face next, shall we?" she continued.
I could sense her hovering over my face and I braced myself. She laid the blade against the side of my face and ran it up to my nose. I could smell burnt flesh, and I only just kept the bile from rising. I couldn't hold back the pained sob that escaped my lips. Phasma chuckled at my muffled sob. I was on the edge of consciousness. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. I went deep inside my self and called out with the Force; a pained plea for help. Then I collapsed into unconsciousness.
Kylo's POV
I had left the Supreme Leader only hours ago and was now pacing back and forth in my room. I had tried to convince him that Elara would make a good apprentice, but he had been hesitant. He said he needed time to think about it; to search the dark side. He wanted to be sure she was strong enough with the Force. He needed to know she would not be a liability. So here I was, waiting for his answer. I wanted to go to her. To try and persuade her to join me. I could sense she had been tempted the last time. I knew with the proper motivation that she would accept my offer. The thought of her at my side greatly pleased me. Together nothing would be able to stop us. I sat down on my bed and removed my mask. I looked down at it and imagined the look on Elara's face when she'd seen me without it. I felt my heart speed up at the thought of her desire for me. I smiled, thinking of her flawless face. Suddenly, I wasn't alone in my room. I could feel another presence. It was faint and held great pain.
"Help me, somebody please help me," it called out.
It was El.
I slipped my helmet back on and rushed out of my room. I didn't know what was going on, but Force help whoever caused the pain I heard in her voice. I made my way to her holding room, her presence growing stronger the closer I got. It was weak, almost non-existent. I could feel fear and agony. My anger grew; how dare they hurt my apprentice. They had no right to touch her. No one was to touch what belonged to me. I ignited my saber and used the Force to lift open the door.
What I saw horrified me.
El had tape stretched across her face and a blindfold hiding her eyes. Her face was slanted to the side. She was clearly unconscious. A large red cut ran across the side of her face, meeting the edge of her nose. She had three large cuts on her neck to match. Her skin was blistered and inflamed. My eyes ran down her body, where she had more tape covering her delicate hands. They had prevented her from using the Force. I looked over to see Phasma sitting in the chair I had used only the day before. Anger surged through me like never before.
She stood and saluted me. "Ren, have you come to try and gain information?"
She clearly hadn't noticed my deadly anger.
"Who gave the orders for this?" My voice dripped with venom.
She froze for a moment."Hux said Snoke ordered him to get the information by any means necessary."
I shook in anger. "Take the girl to the infirmary NOW!"
I needed to speak with Snoke. I couldn't go against his direct orders, but I doubted this was his doing. I had only just spoken with him, and he hadn't decided her fate yet.
"Yes, sir."
I waited until El was in Phasma's arms and headed to the infirmary before I made my way to Snoke.
I entered the conference chambers and waited for his hologram to appear before me.
"Kylo Ren, did I not tell you I would summon you when I had an answer?" Snoke's voice made my blood run cold.
He was angry.
"Forgive me Supreme Leader, I only wished to ask you if you gave Hux authorization to torture the girl?" I kept my voice steady.
Snoke raised his deformed brow in surprise. "I've authorized no such thing! Before we spoke I told the General to get the information by any means necessary. I then told him you were in charge of her." Snoke leaned forward. "He should have known he no longer had any authority." The Supreme Leaders voice echoed throughout the room.
I went on to tell him what Phasma had done under Hux's command. His anger at being defied put mine to shame.
"Tell Hux I wish to speak with him. I'll handle his punishment." He smiled maliciously.
"The girl seems strong. You may train her. I will decide her fate once I've seen how she excels within the dark side."
Snoke's hologram vanished and I was left to deliver the news to Hux. I hoped he suffered. How dare he try to usurp my authority. Once I had delivered Snoke's message I made my way to the infirmary.
I had an apprentice to check on.
Elara's POV
I awoke for the second time in a manner of days, in a room I didn't recognize. This was getting old. I tried to sit up but the pain in my head and neck caused me to abandon the attempt. Lying flat it is. I tried to look around and saw I was in a black sterile room. I must have been taken to the infirmary. Odd, Id expected them to let me suffer. I looked up at the tiled ceiling. I sighed, I guess these people hate bright colors. Id never thought I'd miss something as trivial as color, but I did. I'd kill to see the color yellow. Let's see, who would I choose to kill? I lied there thinking through who Id kill, and how for a good hour.
After I gave up in boredom, I thought about what was running through my mind and felt guilty. This was not who I was. What they did to me was awful, but I couldn't allow it to turn me into someone full of hate. I had to get out of here, this place was going to turn me into a monster. The aura here was nothing but darkness. I couldn't breathe anymore. I made a plan, Id take the chance, and try to escape. Even if I was caught and killed it would be worth it. Either way, they were going to kill me, so this was just speeding up the clock.
I fought the pain and sat up, I pulled the IV out of my arm and stood. I looked down at what I was wearing and sighed. Damn, I was in a thin white hospital gown. This would attract attention. Ok, calm down, I just need clothes. I walked over and looked through all of the cabinets in my room. I found absolutely nothing. I was wasting to much time. I came to terms with my barely there gown and made my way to the door.
I used the Force to open it and peaked around the corner. There were two nurses on the other end of the hallway, they hadn't noticed me yet. I bolted forward, my bare fit making little sound. I hid behind the desk a few paces from my door and found a scalpel placed conveniently on a silver table beside the desk. I pushed back the horrible memories the silver table brought me and took the scalpel. It wasn't much, but it made me feel calmer. I ran forwards trying to find a way out.
I had completely forgotten I knew nothing of where I was. I just wanted to get out of here. I was acting impulsively; something I'd never done before. I kept running, my red hair flying around me wildly. I could hear voices and slammed myself against the wall. There was a door to my right, and I slipped through it. The door closed behind me, I looked around hoping I was alone. I was in a dark(really was there any other kind here?) room.
It was clothed entirely in black. There was a bed in the middle of the room, and a closet on the other side. I knew this place. I wracked my brain trying to figure out why this room gave me Déjà Vu. I quietly made my way to the bed and took a long look at it. The black satin sheets triggered a memory. Kylo sleeping peacefully. Oh for Force sake, this was his room. Where Id seen his face for the first time. I walked backwards towards the door. Of all the rooms I could have slipped into Id chosen this one. What was wrong with me? Everything leads me back to him.
I opened the door and looked around, the hallway was empty. I ran out of the room, sirens started blaring and someone came over the intercom letting everyone know a prisoner had escaped. Dammit, I was screwed. I turned a corner and met a group of troopers. I froze in place. Well, this didn't end well. In fear, I placed the scalpel out in front of me. I wasn't going down without a fight. The trooper in front raised his hand and told the others to stay back.
"She could hurt herself don't approach. We were told she was to be uninjured." The trooper slowly stepped forward with his hands raised.
I jerked the scalpel forward. "Stay back, I just want to go home."
I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I had to get out of here. I could hear one of the other troopers alert someone of my capture.
"Listen, I'm sorry for what happened to you. Do you remember me?" The trooper was whispering so only I could hear.
I tried to recall when had I met a trooper? It finally clicked.
"Aiden?"
He stepped closer only inches away from the edge of the scalpel. He nodded his head. I didn't want to hurt him, he was the only person kind to me.
"Please don't resist. You're going to be ok," he begged me.
I dropped the scalpel, who was I kidding I was surrounded. I fell down into the kind troopers arms. I was in pain and exhausted. This whole endeavor had been foolish. I felt him lift me off my feet and cradle me in his arms. The others told him someone was on their way to retrieve me. So he stood there and waited, me in his arms.
"You're heavy ya know." he quietly laughed.
I smiled at his joking manner.
"Shut up, I'm as light as air. You're just weak." I joked back.
It felt good to joke with someone. I could sense he was smiling even though I couldn't see his face. There was a small uproar in front of us.
"Where is she?" a cold mechanical voice spoke.
I knew instantly who had shown up. It was hard to forget his deep mechanical tone.
"Here sir." Aiden's voice had turned fearful.
I looked over, Kylo was headed our way.
"Put. Her. Down." Even with his mask, I could hear a warning in his tone.
"She's exhausted sir, she fell. That's why I lifted her up." Aiden explained.
I smiled at Aiden's bravery. Kylo took me from Aiden, I looked at him over Kylo's retreating shoulder. I sent him a weak wave, that he returned.
We left the troopers, and I snuggled my face into Kylo's chest. Yes, I hated him, but ignoring the feeling of protection I felt being in his arms was impossible. He looked down at my face, I placed my hand on his mask.
"Where are you taking me?" I weakly asked.
I was afraid of what punishment awaited me. The pain in my skin a reminder of what these people were capable of.
"The infirmary. Your treatment was not over," he answered.
I felt extreme relief, then confusion.
"Am I not being punished? I did try to escape." I asked.
Kylo scoffed at me. "Yes, you did. Id expected you to try sooner. This time you won't be punished, but try it again, and I will punish you myself."
I frowned at his insult mixed with a threat.
"I would have tried sooner but Phasma kept me busy." My voice was thick with anger.
Kylo stopped walking and looked down at me. "You weren't supposed to be tortured. The people responsible have been punished."
I looked up at him in surprise.
"Isn't that what the First Order does? Torture people for information." I hatefully asked.
Kylo continued walking towards the infirmary.
"Yes, but you weren't supposed to be. We have other plans for you," he said.
I stiffened. We? Who was we? I hated people deciding my fate for me. He was insane if he thought I'd go along with this willingly. He opened the door to my hospital room and placed me on the bed. He sat in a chair beside me and looked over my face.
"Your wounds are healing. You will have scars though." I could hear the anger in his voice.
"Take off your mask Kylo. I hate it." I told him without fear.
He reached up and removed his mask. I was once again taken by his beauty. Would I ever grow used to it? I doubted it. He had dark circles under his stressed eyes.
"Have you been sleeping?" I worriedly asked.
I almost rolled my eyes at myself. Why was I being nice? I hated him.
"I've been busy. My sleep schedule is none of your concern. Let's make this clear, we are not friends." he firmly said.
"No, I guess we are not." I shot back.
I pushed the button to lift the back of my bed up. "What do you want with me, Ren?"
I was down to business. He was right, we were not friends.
"The Supreme Leader has decided I am to take you as my apprentice. You're to train and become one with the dark side," he told me.
I made no sound at the news, I just stared at him. There was no way I would ever become one with the dark side. He had to know that.
"Are you serious? Do you honestly think I will join you? We have been through this." I squeezed my hand into a fist, fighting back my anger.
"YOU WILL! You have no choice." His voice was strong, full of anger.
"YOU have an anger problem!" I yelled matching his veracity.
He stood up igniting his saber. He walked around the room destroying anything he could. I just sat back staring at him. He was such a child in so many ways.
As his destruction met its peak I cleared my throat. "If you're quite done, we were having a discussion."
He looked at me huffing, out of breath.
"You know unleashing your anger like that does more damage than good." I pointed out all the destruction and then my finger landed on him. "You not only hurt everything around you but yourself as well."
I don't know why I was trying to explain this to him. He was an overgrown toddler.
"You know nothing." He used the Force to block my airway.
I gasped for breath. I panicked trying to breathe when the Force swirled around me. I swung my hand out throwing him against the wall.
"Yeah, I have the Force too. How dare you chock me like that. YOU ASS!" I stood up and walked over to him.
He lifted his hand, and I went flying through the air. I landed on the other side of the room. The breath knocked out of me.
He stood in front of me. "You will never use the Force on me again. Do you understand."
I growled at him and stood up. I rocked back and forth trying to stay on my feet. My back ached from hitting the wall so hard.
"You will not tell me what to do. Don't use the Force on me and I won't use it against you. I will never stop defending myself." I refused to fold, to become his lap dog.
I started to fall forward, but Kylo caught me using the Force. "Oh wait. I forgot I'm not supposed to use the Force on you, sorry." He let me go and I fell to the ground.
I lifted my red hair from my face and huffed at him. "REAL funny Ben."
I don't know why I used his real name, but I regretted it as his face fell.
"I'm sorry, you were being funny. At that moment you were just more Ben then Kylo." I tried to explain, but it wasn't helping.
"NEVER call me Ben. I'm not Ben." He growled.
I nodded in agreement. It was true. He wasn't Ben. From what I've seen of Han I knew Ben must have been kind and fun. Those are attributes Kylo does not possess.
I hobbled over to my bed and Kylo spun around quickly. I frowned at his back wondering what he was doing.
"Y-Your gown..." he stuttered.
I laughed at his stuttering but stopped when I realized my gown had untied giving Kylo a nice view of my ass.
I quickly held my gown together and tried to tie it without success.
"Ugh, you're going to have to help me." I couldn't reach, and my back still ached.
Kylo walked towards me his gaze focused on the floor. His face was beet red. It made me feel powerful knowing I'd caused it.
"You know, it's just my ass Kylo. Not like you got a full frontal view. Your lucky, I don't think you'd survive." I tried joking with him, hoping it would get him going.
He scoffed at me. "You wish. Nothing you have interests me."
I laughed at him, and he jerked the ties of my dress causing me to cough.
"So, your gay then?" I knew he wasn't, but I couldn't help myself.
"My sexual orientation shouldn't concern you...but no I'm not. I just have no interest in you." he sighed.
I rolled my eyes and sat back down. I laid back against the bed and looked at Kylo.
"So Master When do I start my training? You should know its still useless, I'm not turning." I told him firmly.
Kylo sighed and gave me a hateful look. "You will, or you will die."
His threat sent unwanted chills through me.
"We start tomorrow. You should be released today," he said.
I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath. "Fine, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
I knew I wouldn't turn, but maybe if he believed I could Id have a chance to escape. I needed to get to know this ship so I could find my way around.
"Someone will take you to your new room tonight. I will send a trooper to fetch you in the morning," he told me heading for the door.
I frowned at him. "Yes Master whatever you wish." I feigned a bow as he exited the room.
I laid back, this little adventure of mine was turning into a disaster. I had to prepare myself, convincing Kylo that I was trying to accept the dark side without actually doing it wasn't going to be easy. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. My dreams were full of color and friendship.
