Chapter 7

"You fellows tried to explode that thing for far too long!" whined Joseph. "And your tea is completely horrid!"

"We were testing whether the lamp was invulnerable to dynamite or whether we were simply using an insufficient quantity," said Khalid. "That, and Master Ardeth likes explosions."

"It's true," said Ardeth, smiling. "And if you do not like our tea, Mr. Wellington, I shall have your share."

"No, I will," said Amira. She put her hands on her hips. "You exploded things without telling me?"

"We, er, failed to explode things," said Khalid. "The dynamite exploded, but the lamp didn't."

"He's supposed to tell me when things explode," said Amira, pouting.

"I've never met a woman who liked explosions," said Joseph.

"Amira isn't like most people you're used to, Mr. Wellington, let alone most women."

After some similarly awkward attempts at conversation, which seemed to revolve around Ardeth, Amira and Khalid's high level of contempt for their British guest, Amira put food in front of everyone.

Khalid suddenly slumped over.

"No man falls asleep into my tabbouleh!" snarled Amira, yanking his head upwards. His eyes were still closed.

"What's wrong with Dr. el-Hibri?" asked Joseph.

"Good question. What IS wrong with Khalid, Ardeth?" asked Amira.

"I have seen this only once before. With any luck, when he awakens he'll have new information for us."

Khalid could see a throne room in the palace of a medieval Arabic city. A young man was talking to a blue creature that had to be a genie and a beautiful young woman in turquoise.

Agrabah.

"Even if we find the lamp, Jasmine, how are we going to destroy it? Nobody's ever managed to damage my genie's lamp," said the young man, who Khalid assumed was Aladdin.

"Throw it in lava."

"Where are we going to find lava around here? Genie, can you make some?"

"I'm only semi-phenomenal, nearly-cosmic."

"Well, Jafar isn't free so he's more powerful. Maybe we could wish for hot lava and throw the lamp in," said the sultan.

"Knowing Jafar, he'd throw you into a volcano quickly enough that you couldn't drop the lamp."

"But if you sank holding the lamp, the lamp would sink too."

"Yes, but we're not going to die for a stupid plan," said Jasmine.

"Can...can genies get wishes from other genies? It's perfect! Genie is immortal, so even if he got thrown into hot lava, he wouldn't die!"

"But I can't get wishes from other genies."

"So if we ever find the lamp, we just don't rub it and we ask Genie to transport us to the nearest volcano."

"Maybe we could meet some hobbits!" said Genie.

"What are hobbits?"

"Creatures with furry feet that...oh, rats, I left my future vision on again! Sorry," said Genie. Aladdin and Jasmine shrugged. They were used to it by now.

Khalid woke up.

"What did you see?" asked Ardeth.

"You know I saw something?"

"This used to happen to Evelyn. What did you see?"

"I hope Evelyn's were more exciting. I just saw Aladdin and Jasmine and his genie arguing about how to destroy the lamp and Genie said you have to throw them into hot lava. But why did this happen to me?"

"Maybe he's Aladdin reincarnated?" said Amira.

"No. I didn't see things through Aladdin's eyes, I saw everything through my own. Including Aladdin. I'm probably a descendant of his, though. The prophecy says that there is one."

"That would explain it."

"Hot lava? We can find a volcano somewhere, I'm sure," said Amira. "But where is our English friend?"

While Ardeth and Amira had been keeping their eyes on the sleeping Khalid, Joseph had sneaked out of the tent. Amira finally realized it. She noticed, somewhat offended, that he hadn't touched his food, then grabbed a falafel off his plate and, breaking it in half, ate half herself and fed the other to Ardeth.

"I can't believe you let the Inglizi get away!" said Amira once she was done eating.

"I was passed out!"

"I was tending to Khalid!"

"Well, it wasn't MY turn to watch him."

"Now he's probably done just what you told him not to, Master Ardeth," said Khalid. "Gone to bury the lamp."

"I have an idea," said Amira. "You can wish genies free, correct?"

"Yes, but it would be disastrous to do so to an evil one."

"That wasn't my idea and you know it, Ardeth. My idea is, that proves that wishes can affect the genie! So why don't we wish him back to his human state and deal with him as a mortal?"

"Jafar was a formidable sorcerer."

"A sorcerer? A sorcerer? Khalid, you do realize anything is an improvement?"

"How 'formidable'?"

"Nothing much, only the most powerful sorcerer in the world. I mean, destroying the lamp might be easier."

"I like Amira's idea. Besides, we could word it so that he didn't even have those powers. We could wish him to be exactly as he was in the year 852. A year before he got the good genie's lamp."

"But first we need to track our English friend down and convince him."

Joseph was running away from the camp.

"I'll destroy this lamp myself! I don't need them! I'll show that cocky Dr. el-Hibri and that Ardeth Bey and that scary Arab woman!"

He rubbed the lamp.

"Trying again?" asked Jafar. "This is your third wish. If you aren't wishing me free, you had better word this very, very carefully."

"I wish for you to destroy your own lamp."

"And you honestly think that will work?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"You see, sir, genies cannot kill anyone. It includes ourselves. Perhaps you do need them after all?" Jafar rather approved of Ardeth, and even of Khalid, in spite of the fact that Khalid's family had sprung from the loins of that wretched street rat. Oh, certainly they were adversaries, but anyone who mocked this thief couldn't be all

wrong.

"No, because I'm going to throw you down a well."

"Very well, no pun intended. I can simply wait for the next person...if you can even find a well."

"I'll sell the lamp then!"

"That solves your problem how?"

"By making it someone else's problem."

"You're also in the middle of the desert."

"I wish I were in the basement of the Cairo Museum with this lamp."

"Right away, master," sneered Jafar.

A minute later, he was in the basement of the Cairo Museum, inside a sarcophagus. After pushing it open, tumbling out awkwardly, and cursing at Jafar loudly, he put the lamp on a shelf in the basement. Nobody will notice one dusty old artifact in a roomful of dusty old artifacts, he thought. After smudging his face with dirt so that he stood somewhat less of a chance of being recognized and humiliated for the rumor in Cairo, he sneaked out of the museum and found a hotel to hide out in.

"He can't have gone very far," said Khalid, back at the Medjai fortress. "I mean, he doesn't know where to go, and he doesn't seem like someone who'd do very well surviving in the desert. And it takes one to know one."

"It seems like you have forgotten something, Khalid. The reason he is here to begin with? With that lamp, he could be anywhere by now," said Ardeth. "I do not understand why he would run away from us."

Khalid didn't give that statement any of the number of answers he could have.

"We should look for him on foot, but I highly doubt we will find him," said Amira. "He is just stupid enough to wish himself somewhere else with that lamp."

"Maybe he wished it to the museum!" said Khalid.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, think about it. In a museum, who's going to know there's anything special about it? At best, it goes completely unnoticed; at worst, someone else finds it. Either way, it's still our problem, but it's not Joseph's anymore, and that's probably just what he was thinking."

"Why would he forget that you know the museum so well?" Ardeth asked Khalid. "It should be nothing for you to run in and find it."

"It will be. But by the time we get to the museum and find the lamp, he will be out of our reach. Which is really all that matters to him. No sense of responsibility at all." Khalid was practically yelling the last of his words, holding onto his tea glass as if he wished to strangle it, perhaps as a replacement for Mr. Wellington.

Ardeth managed to pry the glass out of his hand. "Careful, Khalid. I cannot have you breaking Amira's tea glasses."

"Sorry, Amira. I am just tired of this fellow. Let's go back to the museum and find that lamp."