This Corrosion- 9:
Touya awoke without Yukito in his bed, but it was still warm where he had slept. He was disturbed by Yukito's absence. All he wanted to do was hash things out with Yukito, and now he was gone. He rolled over on his back and dragged his wrist over his eyes.
Now what? Touya was totally confused on what to do. He had no idea why Yukito made him stop in the middle of sex last night. All he wanted to do was make Yuki feel good, but there was something that was keeping Yukito from allowing himself to enjoy physical pleasure. Touya inhaled deeply as his father called him for breakfast.
Yue crumbled into himself when he got to Yukito's home. He let Yukito take over their body and melt down on the carpet and sobbed as if there were no tomorrow. Yue could tell Yukito was so confused over why he couldn't give himself over to Touya. He wanted to let Touya go down on him, but he just felt panicked suddenly.
Yue wanted his two hearts to be separate so he could nurse his love for Clow and let Yukito have a love life. Yukito had so desperately wanted what Touya was giving him, yet he pulled back and didn't understand why. Yue felt so ashamed, because that was really his fault. He was sure he was the reason Yukito had pulled back from Touya.
Yue knew he was really the one who froze, and felt so guilty over Yukito's pain and confusion. Yukito got up, showered and got dressed in an over-sized shirt and jeans, more casual than he would normally wear, but he wasn't planning on leaving his home. This was the day his grandparents should be coming home. His head would make up the visit and their new departure. He now knew it to be fake, and that hurt so much
He gasped as his memories loaded up, suddenly. He now knew they where fake, but now he "remembered" his grandparents coming and laying aside their luggage as he greeted them. He now "remembered" them asking after his grades and such. The eerie thing was that he couldn't remember their faces.
His stomach sank as he "remembered" his "grandparents" taking their luggage and bidding him farewell and now he was alone for two weeks while they went to Fiji. He hated his altered memories; they terrified him.
He lay balled up on his bed and took a deep breath. What right did he have to be with Touya? He was nothing more than some sort of puppet or a mask used to disguise some creature he didn't even know about. He was only, technically, three years old. How could he ever hope to please Touya or make him happy? Surely, Touya would be happier with a human lover.
Yukito balled up tighter and wondered what "Yue" was like. Maybe it'd be easier to surrender and just let Yue have total control. He start wondering why he was even necessary.
These were the thoughts Yukito had that disturbed Yue deeply. He couldn't allow this to continue.
Yue was alarmed. Yukito's thoughts were drifting into the almost suicidal early Monday morning. Yukito stopped feeling the will to live. Yukito no longer felt as a person, but some sort of an empty puppet.
This drift into depression couldn't happen. Yue could live on without Yukito, technically, but it would be with great damage. Yukito couldn't live without Yue, though. And now Yue was feeling anxious. Yue just found he couldn't let Yukito drift away.
Yue had to find purposes and meaning in his own life beside helping his new master. Maybe helping Yukito and Touya have a satisfying sex life could occupy him for a while. He started to smile as he reminisced about all the times Clow had bedded him. There was so much Touya could do to Yukito that just would be so satisfying.
Yukito could be happy rather than so sad, and with confidence. All Yue had to do was finish grieving Clow and find a way to make peace with Touya. Yue mentally sighed. What could he even begin doing to start that process? It all just seemed overwhelming.
Nakuru leaned towards Touya. Touya was aggravated the "girl" had cornered him against a bookshelf in a lonely corner of the school's library. She gave him a flirtatious smirk first thing on Monday morning. "So where it that little boyfriend of yours?"
"Sick," was all Touya would give the obnoxious "girl."
"Aww... a shame. So Touya, how about we go for a walk after school. We could do some homework and then... maybe..." She hooked her finger under the top button of her blouse and let it unfasten. "...some extra circular activity?"
"Not hardly," Touya answered dryly with a glare. She leaned in close enough to where Touya could smell her floral perfume and see how smooth and soft her skin was.
"You know, I still want this, even without your magic," she said, laying her hand over Touya's heart. Then her hand traveled downwards slowly. "And if you don't give me that, can I at least have this?"
Touya was too startled by her boldness to stop her hand in time. Her hand paused when it got to Touya's groin. She pressed her chest to Touya's and started fondling him through his slacks.
Touya was getting hard and forgetting he was in public. She started nipping his neck as her hand got aggressive. He tried backing away, but she was quick and determined to keep her hand on his crotch. His face got blazing hot as he got pissed at being toyed with.
"I have one, too. Put your hand up my skirt and see for yourself. But I'm betting it's my backside you're interested in. I'd let you take me like that."
He shoved her away, suddenly feeling shocked at himself. Touya felt his face was still hot as he quickly stepped away from her groping hand. He glowered at her. "Don't ever touch me again. I'm already spoken for, so stop trying. Yukito is who I want."
"I could finish that hand job for you, and little Tsukishiro wouldn't have to know." She swirled around and there was an arrogant smirk over her shoulder. "Any time you want me to finish that just let me know. I'll do whatever you ask. And, I'm more than willing to let you have all sorts of things. Is your little, timid Tsukishiro craving you like I am? I doubt it. He seems fridge."
She left him alone in the corner of the library. Touya sat in the nearest chair and slumped forward. He was awash in shame and guilt. How could he have ever let that girl get even that far with him when Yukito had been the only one on his heart for three years?
He stood, walked out of the library, and faked an illness. He went immediately to the one person he needed advice from. He headed to the university and his father's office.
To be continued.
