Chapter 9: End of Insanity and When Your Wife Is A Hornball...

A/N: Took me long enough, didn't it? Enjoy the last of the mall chapters. 

While Chi-Chi and Bulma searched frantically for the MIA Vegeta, Gohan was peacefully seated by a fountain, completely unaware of the chaos that ensued throughout the mall. His face was buried in a huge physics book, the contents of which were so boring that a man nearby had fallen asleep where he sat, and was snoring loudly. Gohan read on, though, eager to absorb knowledge like a sponge absorbs water.

Suddenly, he felt a strangely erratic power level looming over him, and he looked up to find Vegeta, floating above him and staring hungrily at his physics book. Blinking stupidly, Gohan waved timidly at the drooling Vegeta, and tried to continue reading. Vegeta, on the other hand, brought his face within inches of Gohan's shoulder, and squealed in delight. The pages had WORDS on them! Words! Fancy that!

Gohan dropped the book to cover his ears, and Vegeta took this opportunity to snatch the book out of mid-air, clutching it close and stroking it lovingly, all while mumbling to himself, "The precious.. They must not get the precious..."

Gohan turned to stare blankly at Vegeta, who was still loving on the book, and who had begun to lick the cover as if he were a mother cat washing her young (Gohan would later swear he heard Vegeta purring). Suddenly, though, Vegeta began to rip out the pages, still purring, and began stuffing them into his mouth, chewing and munching happily upon the shredded pages.

Gohan's mouth dropped open, and he nearly began to weep for the loss of his beloved book, lost to Vegeta's odd and insatiable hunger. Vegeta took no notice, and continued to consume the book like it were cookies. Gohan's shock quickly turned to annoyance, and then promptly to rage. What right did Vegeta have?!

Upon taking a moment to study Vegeta, though, Gohan quickly recognized the signs of a caffeinated Saiyan, and began to run through the procedures his mother took at home whenever Goten or even Goku got into the hidden supply of soda. The only two options he came up with were to either knock Vegeta out, or to give him the exact opposite of what he'd had… But where to find it?!

"Gohan to the rescue… again…" He mumbled, and reached over, plucking the book away from Vegeta, then giving up and tossing it over his shoulder. It bonked the sleeping man on the head and knocked him into a deeper state of unconsciousness, a little smile forming upon his lips as he was KO'd. Careful not to be seen by any mall goers, Gohan ran as fast as he could (which was indeed quite fast) in order to find what he needed, leaving Vegeta behind to mewl over the loss of his precious book.

Elsewhere, Goku and Goten had already begun to come down from their caffeine high, and were flopped down upon some of the trial couches in the middle of a large hallway, snoring loudly and drooling everywhere. Chi-Chi and Bulma, following the sound of the deafening snores, skidded to a halt next to the couches, and sighed together in relief upon seeing the two slumbering Saiyans. Deciding not to wake them so there'd be no more insanity, the two turned and headed for the downward escalator, determined to find Vegeta.

Gohan, on the other hand, had found what he needed: a bar in the mall. It was the perfect plan; all he needed was to get Vegeta to down several cans of beer and voila! No more hyperactive, annoying, book-eating Vegeta! The tricky part would be getting Vegeta to be still long enough to down anything period, let alone several large, foamy glasses of the stuff that could potentially save any and all of the mallgoers' remaining bits of sanity. Scratching his head in a Goku-esque manner, Gohan pondered for a minute, and then decided to just take the simplest route: just give a big glass of the stuff to Vegeta and see what happens. Buying the biggest glass of beer he could (and this was a mondo-sized super industrial strength glass of beer), Gohan carefully made his way back to the fountain, only to find that Vegeta had vanished once again. Hearing airplane noises, though, Gohan looked up, finding Vegeta zooming around in circles way above his head, burbling and gurgling and sounding more like an idiot than an airplane.

Flying up to meet Vegeta, Gohan smiled as widely as he could, waving a little with his free hand to get Vegeta's attention. Vegeta squealed happily and all but tackled Gohan to the floor below, nearly spilling half of the beer and sending Gohan flat on his back into the tile, even breaking most of the tile they landed on. Gohan struggled to sit up, but Vegeta was too busy nuzzling Gohan's flannel shirt to let him up, so Gohan was left to stare blankly at the ceiling and pretend none of this was happening.

Slowly, Gohan tilted Vegeta's head back with one hand, and stared straight into his eyes to keep his attention. He'd had to do this with his own father many times, and knew that Vegeta could smell his fear, so he had to carefully raise the glass, keeping as straight a face as he could, and shoved the rim of the glass against Vegeta's lips, tilting the glass and watching the amber liquid run down Vegeta's throat and all over his face. Luckily for him, though, most of it made it into his mouth, and within moments, Vegeta's eyes re-glazed themselves, and he hiccupped and went slack, spread-eagle over Gohan's body.

Gohan, mortified, quickly pulled Vegeta to his feet, only to find that he had become very heavy, and that his breath now reeked of the nasty stuff he'd just had all but shoved down his throat. Vegeta was hiccupping and singing a rousing chorus of, "Nobody knows (hic) the trouble I've seen… (hic) the trouuuublee…. I've seeeeeen…"

Proud of himself, Gohan managed to drag Vegeta back to the fountain, and whipped out his cell phone to call his mother. Vegeta continued to sing, totally bombed, and managed to fall into the fountain within a good thirty seconds.

----------- Later ----------

As they dragged Vegeta, Trunks (who was still semi-hyper) Goku, and Goten towards their vehicles, Chi-Chi and Bulma were busy screaming bloody murder at their kin, ranting and raving about anything they could think of, even the irrelevant. Tossing Vegeta and Trunks into the car with her newfound superhuman strength, Bulma sighed as Vegeta resumed lecturing her on the human body and why it was inferior.

"Well, he's ALMOST back to normal… I suppose… whatever normal is… I dunno." Shrugging in unison, the two women hopped into their vehicles and drove home, Bulma beginning to feel a little bit….odd…..

Later that evening, Vegeta woke up to find himself chained to the bed. 'Okay, I'm chained to the be- WAIT!' "WHAAAA?!"

Bulma was happily sitting atop him in what must have been the most skimpy outfit ever created by man, monster, or anything inbetween. She was grinning devilishly, and reached down to tickle Vegeta's face with a feather.

"Get ready, baby, 'cause here I come!"

And so the fun began.

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Sorry for the short chapter, folks.. I just wanted to get the mall thing over with and get into a new mood swing – Bulma being horny! YAY! ….Be afraid.