October 29, 1994

Dear Veronica,

I'm almost fairly certain that I might die. Like, seriously. My heart is probably going to explode in my chest. Edward came to my school. To see me. To talk to me. And maybe to hold my hand and possibly smell my hair. Which (because I'm totally still being honest) might be the very best part. Because he likes the way I smell. Well, I guess he likes the crappy V05 shampoo that smells like strawberries. I don't even know what to do with that. I guess it's not that weird because I really, really like the way he smells, too.

Actually, the best part is that he asked me out. He said it. He used those words. And I'm surprised I didn't die right then. Well, I almost did from mortification. I had to tell him that I wasn't allowed to date. But I think he'd already figured that out on his own. I don't know for sure. But then he basically implied that there were other ways for us to spend time together. And he also implied that he thought I would be more than willing to go along with those ways.

Which I TOTALLY am.

And that's where this all gets a bit tricky. Because I'm really going to do it. Tonight. Charlie is working the night shift and as soon as Emmett is asleep, I'm sneaking out of the apartment. Edward said he would meet me at the end of the road. He didn't want to do that at first. At first, he wanted to meet me at the bottom of the stairs because he said that he didn't like the idea of me walking alone that late at night. But he finally agreed because I told him that if anyone saw us together, they might tell my dad. Although, when I think about it, the odds that someone would be watching so late at night probably aren't very high. Or low. I forget which one is better.

So, I'm making turkey burgers for dinner. I read somewhere that turkey has something in it called Tryptophan. It's supposed to make you sleepy. I hope Emmett is really hungry and maybe eats like three. He could totally have mine because I'm too nervous to eat anyway. Also, I really hope this doesn't make me a bad person. You know, like I'm drugging him or something. Because it's not like I've never made turkey burgers before. And I really, really need Emmett to go to sleep as quickly as possible. I'll just have to make sure I brew Charlie a pot of coffee before he goes to work. He'll need the caffeine to counteract the turkey.

This whole life of crime thing is serious business. I never realized just how much planning goes into breaking the rules. And while I don't really want to lie to Emmett about anything (especially after what he told me a few nights ago) I don't think I can tell him about any of this. At least, not right now.

I don't even know what we're doing. I wouldn't care if he only wanted to walk around and maybe, hopefully hold my hand. I also wouldn't mind getting to know him a little better. I just know that he has to be as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside. But then I think that doesn't really seem fair at all. Because how could so much beauty be contained in one person?

Also, I have no idea what I'm wearing. I never really think about things like that. I usually just throw on a pair of jeans and whatever shirt I have clean and hanging in the closet. Edward doesn't seem to really think much about what he wears. But that's probably because everything he wears is perfect.

I know one thing for sure. I'll definitely be washing my hair before I "go to bed" tonight.

Love,

Bella

PS: I hope I don't get caught.

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Reviews are love.

Please leave me some.

I love Marvar more than breaking the rules.

And ILY all, too!