Title: Images 9/15
Rating: PG
Pairing: Addison/Derek
Summary: A series of one shots set during seasons 1 to 3 of Greys Anatomy following the build up then subsequent break down of Addison and Derek's marriage. In this chapter...Derek and Addison talk after Addison's revelations at the hospital.
Disclaimer: Not mine, Shonda's.
Reviews are love and much appreciated, a BIG thank you to everyone who has taken the time to review, it really does mean the world to me.


She just knows that something's wrong. Derek, having been so great recently has reversed back into the Derek that he was in New York, distant but with something else in tow.

He is preoccupied.

In the vets, and then again in the elevator. He is preoccupied, and it's not with her, it's with Meredith.

She hates even having to think the words and saying them to Meredith is even worse.

"Are you sleeping with my husband?" she asks, bracing herself for the worst possible answer. The answer turns out to be something she really wasn't expecting to hear. It answers all her questions in the worst possible way. Meredith's dating Finn. That's the real reason why Derek's being so distant.

It hits her then.

Derek's jealous. He's not jealous of Mark like she thought he would be, he's jealous of Finn, because he gets to be with Meredith and he doesn't. Then the second realisation hits her and it's more painful then the first. Derek doesn't care about her in the way that he cares about Meredith.

She sits with these thoughts in her head all day before they come out as a completely random outburst.

"Because I'm not Meredith Gray"

It's the only way that she can describe the way that she's feeling. She's not Meredith and never will be. He doesn't even wait to speak to her after her outburst just walks away. Typical Derek behaviour, just to walk away when there's thing that need to be said. She's too emotional to even chase after him anymore. She's been doing that for the last few months and she can't do that anymore.

After her shift she runs into Richard who berates her for her behaviour. He sighs as he takes her hand.

"Addie I know this is hard for you"

"You have no idea" she replies.

Truth is she had no idea how hard it would be until now. A month ago she has happy with Derek and things seemed to be improving, they seemed to be working through their mistakes but now she doesn't know where they are. She says this to Richard and her voice cracks with the emotion of the day.

"Go home Addison" he says, "You need to talk to Derek." She doesn't though. Buoyed by the need to not see Derek she heads to Joe's for a solitary drink. The scotch burns but makes her feel a little better. She's on her third when her phone rings. It's Derek and she chooses to answer it, against her better judgement.

"Addie" a big sigh from Derek. "Are you coming home tonight?" Truth is she hadn't thought that far ahead. Stalling for time she asks him if he wants her home.

"Of course I do Addie, we need to talk"

The last thing she wants to do is talk about Meredith but she agrees having one more scotch for good measure.

When she reaches the trailer she sees the now familiar image of Derek sitting outside, lost in thought. As she walks up to him her stomach churns as she anticipates a row approaching. She nervously takes a seat beside him and waits for him to begin.

"I can't believe you think that I'm pretending to love you" he says, brows creasing in sadness. "It just came out Derek, I wasn't thinking clearly" she says. "Is that how you honestly feel though?" he asks. "It wasn't, until today, I thought we were really moving one, but at the vets, and then again at work it felt like you were preoccupied with Meredith" her voice trails off and he drops her gaze knowing that she's hit the nail on the head.

"I'm trying Addison"

"You're trying to love me, or you're trying to not love Meredith"

She knows she's got it right. The feeling hasn't passed yet. "You want me to carry on waiting don't you?" He exhales loudly, playing with the label on his bottle. "Yes" he admits quietly. "It hasn't quite passed yet" She finds herself with nothing else to say, as he feels like she exhausted all of her emotion for the day.

She leaves him outside with his thoughts, feeling more confused then ever about their relationship and her part in it. She'll carry on waiting, but she's not going to wait forever.


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