Blossoms & Ashes
Chapter 9: Play With Fire
"I, umm-" Both Shikamaru and Ino spoke at the same time stopping when they noticed they were interrupting the other. They both averted their gazes out of embarrassment and when they looked back at each other neither wanted to say anything first.
Shikamaru noticed how Ino looked tired with bags under her eyes as if she hadn't slept well in a few days, he also noticed how she was playing with her hands and he slightly smiled at the scene. He found it cute seeing Ino like that, it was so unlike her.
"Let's take a walk." He told her smiling a bit in her direction and they walked without another word next to each other.
Ino wondered how she should talk to him, it had been days since she last did and she did regret it. She missed him and she was even afraid he would want nothing to do with her after her little scene. But so far he hadn't pushed her away, he had even smiled at her and she had a feeling he wanted to talk as much as she did.
In the end all they had was each other.
The confrontation between Sasuke's forces and Konoha had taken so many things away from the Konoha citizens. It hadn't been just the village, it was so much more. Many people had been lost. Might Guy had died fighting Suigetsu, Choji died fighting Juugo, Shino died fighting Karin and many others. The ones who had survived were left to pick up the pieces Sasuke left behind.
Shikamaru opened the door of his room to her and she stepped in. He knew her so well; he knew she wouldn't want to make a scene out of it, that she would want to talk to him alone. Some years ago she would have done it in front of anyone, especially in front of Choji and then force him to take sides, but she had changed and he was no longer around to take sides.
He closed the door as he entered before turning to her, she was avoiding his gaze and he sighed; might as well get it over with.
"I'm sorry." Both Shikamaru and Ino blurted out at the same time and both looked surprise when the other one apologized; their eyes were slightly wide from the surprise. A moment after Shikamaru chuckled and Ino laughed lightly.
"You have no reason to be sorry Ino; I'm the one who had to apologize." Shikamaru told her as he took various steps in her direction until he was standing in front of her.
"No Shikamaru, I do need to apologize. I stuck my nose where it didn't belong and when you told me everything I was unsupportive." She told him smiling apologetically to him; a silent pleading for him to forgive her.
"What I've been doing is wrong Ino. I've been siding with Danzo and handed over your best friend to the man who's hurt her the most. Neji and I feel horrible about what we're doing but we have no other choice. We're trying to get our village back, not only from Sasuke, but from Danzo as well." Shikamaru spoke as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
"I know, I know and I shouldn't have gotten like that last time. I was just worried for Sakura, I don't want her to get hurt anymore, but that didn't mean I had to push you away. We only have each other, I need you and you need me so please forgive me." She whispered with a halfhearted smile on her face.
"I'll forgive you, if you forgive me. Deal?" Shikamaru chuckle letting go of her shoulder.
"Deal." She laughed before leaning in and kissing his cheek.
Shikamaru was left speechless, it was something he hadn't expected and it took all of his willpower not take her in his arms and kiss her. He saw her cheeks adorned with a red blush and couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked. He had always liked her, but they were nothing more than friends, team mates. He smiled sadly at the thought.
"Shika…there's something I need to ask." She avoided his gaze and he wondered what it could be.
"And that is?" He asked carefully, he certainly didn't want to fight again with her.
"Do you know how Sakura is…?" She asked and he should have guessed she would be worried about her best friend's wellbeing especially when it concerned Sasuke.
"I don't know much, but she's alright. She's been living with Sasuke since he found her and it doesn't seem he's hurt her or anything." He spoke watching her reaction.
Her face lit up slightly, maybe she expected Sakura to already be dead. "Do you think he'll do something to her?" She asked her voice no more than a whisper.
"No. How many chances has he had to kill her, even before now? Yet, he never has. From her confrontations with him she's only gotten hurt once and none of us know what happened that night." Shikamaru only hoped he was right, he doubted Sasuke would kill her, but could he be so sure? Sasuke's always been one surprise after another.
"Do you think he even cares about her?" Ino looked up at Shikamaru her face full of hope for Sakura and maybe, just maybe even for Sasuke.
"We know he used to, but we don't even know how much he's changed." Shikamaru chuckled humorlessly. "We know he used to sneak into the fire country and meet with her before he killed Itachi Uchiha, but who knows how he is now. We don't even know why he took over the village." Shikamaru shrugged.
Ino smiled sadly. Sakura had to fall and love a man with no hope. A man who had no salvation after all he'd done. Now she was back with him and Ino wondered if it would be good or bad for her to regain her memories again. Especially the ones she has of him.
That night Sasuke lay in his bed his arms crossed behind his head as he looked toward the ceiling. He didn't know how long he had been there doing absolutely nothing immersed I his thoughts. He had escaped Sakura for the day and decided it was best to take a bath and stay in his room.
He had needed a cold bath to relax. He had been practically all day talking to Sakura, something that clearly surprised him. He was never one to talk much, yet he couldn't help but enjoy her presence. He had several times found himself watching her as she talked, as she smiled, laughed, and whenever she blushed. He smirked at her childish behavior and when she sometimes got annoyed. But most of the time he just watched her, he couldn't bear to look away.
When he noticed how he was acting he quickly excused himself leaving her confused in his office and took a well-deserved bath. He was being stupid, letting her affect him like that. But he knew why he was like that, it reminded him of before.
He's decided that maybe he was indeed crazy.
She shouldn't even be alive, he shouldn't even be alive. Maybe, these hallucinations were a punishment for all his mistakes.
"Sasuke." She smiled looking around behind her making sure she hadn't been followed. Her eyes looked him over from a distance while he did the same. It had been a week since the last time they saw each other and somehow it was too long.
"Took you long enough." Sasuke smirked in response as she pouted walking towards him.
"You have no idea how hard it is to get away. I have to be discrete, no one can notice. Naruto wouldn't accept my decline for his offer on ramen." She smiled brightly finally near him.
"Hn. I thought you wouldn't come." He told her placing a stray hair that fell on her face back behind her ear. He saw her blush in response and had to suppress a smirk. He had somehow missed the light she provided, her smile.
"Why wouldn't I?" She asked her eyes bore into his, a challenge.
"You're betraying your village by meeting up with me." He answered her, his words harsher than he meant them.
She smiled sadly in response but it didn't reach her eyes filled with light. "I'm not betraying them. I'm here because I love you, you know that. I'll always come back to you." She reached out to touch him, she was hesitant expecting him to slap her hand away, but he didn't and so her hand came to rest on his cheek.
For a moment they didn't talk, they just stood there close to each other, staring into each other's eyes. He looked into her eyes and saw that what she told him was the undeniable truth. But he already knew that, she never let him forget that she loved him and that she always would.
"You know I can't love you back." He spoke back at her.
With the sad smile still on her face she silently nodded, she knew that. She slowly took her hand back from his face before whispering. "Maybe that'll change someday…" She could only hope and he could see hope in her eyes, like it was the only thing she had left and maybe it was.
"It won't." He told her, his words clear and cruel, because they were sincere; it wasn't meant to hurt her it was just a warning. It was just the truth. "I'll never love you back." He told her once again as he saw a tear escape.
"Then it just sucks for me…" She tried to smile brightly, but she didn't mean it. His sincerity had always hurt her.
"Hn." He grunted and she knew it wasn't a reply it was only to let her know that he had heard her.
"I've tried to forget you time and time again, but I've never been able to. I'm done trying…I can only hope. I've accepted the fact that I'll always love you." She laughed slightly, treating it as a joke so she wouldn't cry. So he wouldn't see how vulnerable she was, but he saw it.
He couldn't deny that her innocence and her vulnerability made her all the more beautiful in his eyes, but much to her disgrace he would never love her.
Sasuke shook his head from the memory, frustration taking over him and he frowned. Today he had seen that Sakura once again. It was her smile, her voice, and her eyes that made him relieve the moment like it had just happened a day ago. It was like she hadn't changed, like she had never disappeared.
The irony of the situation was like a sick kind of joke.
"I've tried to forget you time and time again, but I've never been able to."
She had said. He smiled bitterly, she was finally able to forget him after all this time and she was once again brought back to him. Back to her demise, it's funny how life works out. She should have been anywhere but near him. He always did manage to hurt her and he knew he always would.
He never thought he'd have to face the day when she forgot about him, when she no longer loved him. He never thought he'd feel quite so empty without her unrequired love towards him, the love he always threw back at her, the one he always rejected. She promised to always love him and yet now she couldn't even remember him.
He should save her from having to go through that pain again, turn her away and send her somewhere else where she could make a life. Where she could finally be happy; but he was too selfish to do so. As much as he didn't deserve her love and even though he would never love her back he wanted her love all to himself.
Yet now he had to accept the fact that he may never hear the words "I love you." come out of her mouth anymore, or at least not directed towards him. That love was gone along with her memories.
It was his punishment and he had to admit, he did deserve it.
"I'll always come back to you."
And she did, for whatever the reason… she was back in his life. He was not going to lose her twice.
