Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

Writer's note: This chapter is mainly about Cartman and Butters. Don't expect them to be paired together! This was the only way I could think of resolving the tension between Tweek and Craig with Cartman.

Cartman sat in his room pondering to himself. Tweek's parents know about them, but Craig's don't. If I tell them, maybe they'll break the two up! Wait, they'll just tell them like they did with Tweek's parents. URGH! How do I get revenge on them! Well, I guess I could always use the old Scott Tenorman killing parents trick. Nah, too much work for fags like them.

He stayed at his desk thinking of genius ideas to get them to break up, yet all he could come up with were several plans involving ponies, hot dogs and a rather seductive looking picture of Tom Brady. After almost giving up, Cartman received a notification from Twitter about a tweet from Stan - he read it and dropped his phone. He bent over and picked his phone up from the floor, reading it several times to ensure his mind wasn't hallucinating. Tweek and Craig… had sex?! his heart rate began to increase as ideas flowed into his brain like a river of pure liquid gold. He turned off his phone and got a piece of paper out of his drawer. Let's see how much of a couple you'll be after I'm through with you. Cartman thought whilst scribbling out a plan, before being interrupted by a knock on the door. "Moooooom, someone's at the door" he said whilst continuing to draw. Twenty seconds passed. "Mom, are you deaf?! Someone's at the door!" he yelled whilst muttering obscenities about having to do everything himself as he walked down the stairs to answer the door.

"Butters? What are you doing here?" he asked whilst raising a brow at the little blonde teen standing in front of him. "Well, hey Eric!" he said with a smile. 'Eric' was not amused - "The fuck do you want Butters? I'm busy god dammit!" he said raising his voice at the innocent Butters. "W-well, I was wondering if you wanted to do something, that's all." Butters murmured out scowling at the floor.

Cartman had annoyed Butters every single day, all his life. But this time, something was different about Butters. By now, Cartman would've insulted the blonde boy and slammed the door on his face, but he didn't! Instead, he grabbed his jacket and left the house with him. "Oh boy, Eric!" Butters said with glee as they walked down the street headed for Stark's Pond. Cartman glanced away, trying to think about his master plan with Craig and Tweek. But it was so difficult! Butters is such a distraction, why did I agree to come outside with him? I could've finished my plan by now! Cartman whined to himself. Cartman felt nervous suddenly and couldn't stare directly at the blonde next to him. He felt his hands get sweatier and his head started to feel warm, even in the cold weather that South Park has all the time.

Out of nowhere, Cartman grabs Butter's hand tightly and drags him quickly towards the nearest alleyway. "Eric, what are you doing?" he asked innocently as the fat teen clinged onto his hand for as long as he could. "Butters. Can you keep a secret?" he asked swiftly. "Why… sure! I've kept lots of secrets you've told me. Like the time you -" Butters was cut off by a kiss planted on his lips. It was quick, simple and yet so amazing… for Cartman. Butters pushed him back against the other side of the wall as he stood in horror looking into his friend's eyes. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" he screamed, only a few seconds walk from Stark's Pond where everyone was hanging out peacefully.

Everyone rushed to see what had happened and found Butters standing next to Cartman in an alleyway on the side of the street away from the pond. Whispers started to form as everyone stared at Cartman who was already beginning to run away from them. Thoughts rushed through his mind. Everyone knows I kissed Butters! Why the fuck did I do that?! Butters followed Stan and Kenny to the park without looking back as everyone left Cartman to run. Tweek turned to Craig with unintentional puppy-dog eyes and requested to go after him. Craig nodded and signaled that he should try be back soon.

Cartman was followed home by Tweek as saw him slump onto his doorstep whilst sobbing to himself. "C-Cartman, are y-you alright?" Tweek asked whilst putting a hand on his back. "Why do you care? You're gonna help tell the whole school and I'm gonna be the school fag! And everyone's gonna hate meee" at this point, he was in tears which seemed to flow down his clothes. A light switched on inside Tweek's brain when he heard the word 'fag'. Cartman had feelings for Butters! Tweek comforted him and assured him he wasn't going to tell. He knew no-one else knew because there was no hint of it, unless Butters had told everyone already.

Why isn't he being mean? "Why are you being nice to me?" he asked whilst still crying. Tweek took a second to think about it. "I kn-know how y-you're feeling right n-now. You're not a-alone and I'm always h-here if you want t-to talk. Craig's will h-help too, even though h-he doesn't show it, he c-cares a b-bit" was the response which Tweek delivered slowly and calmly. Cartman felt warm inside as his heart became touched from the person whose relationship he was trying to sabotage.

Nighttime began to fall and Cartman headed inside without saying another word. As he went inside, Tweek had a determined look on his face as he marched off in the direction of Stark's Pond where he knew everyone would still be. Meanwhile, Cartman lay in bed, head facing the ceiling as he glanced to and from his desk. He slowly got up and held the paper in hands staring at it, seeing not a plan, but his life. With a quick action, without regret, he tore the paper in half and screwed it up into a paper ball, tossing it into the bin in the corner of his room. He then returned to his bed and continued to stare at the ceiling. All he could think about was how nice Tweek had been when he was feeling upset. His heart was clearly moved by the action. Why do I wanna break them up? They really are good together. I think I might be jealous of Craig because he has Tweek, but I don't have Butters. If he doesn't like me that way, I guess I can live with just being his friend. I shouldn't do that to Tweek and Craig just 'cause I'm jealous. He concluded as he closed his eyes picturing Butters once again.

Suddenly, his eyes shattered open! Shit, what are people going to say at school tomorrow?!

Wednesday morning came. Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman stood at their bus stop not saying a word until Kyle broke the silence. "Why'd you trip Butters up yesterday? He's done nothing wrong to you" he said as Cartman lifted his brow and stared at the Jew. "I didn't trip him… -" it suddenly occurred to him that Butters might have said this to cover for him. "Meh" he responded unemotionally, when inside of him, fireworks were going off as no-one would know. Butters had really come through for him, and he would be eternally grateful.

When the school bus came, Cartman received no awkward glances and went to sit in his normal place. Tweek and Craig were sitting next to Cartman and Clyde, meanwhile Butters sat three rows of seats behind them. Cartman turned to face Butters, who ignored him completely and stared out the window. He then turned to face Tweek who had helped him yesterday who smiled at him to say 'You should be fine'.

Cartman stumbled upon a realization. Tweek had fixed what had happened yesterday! Twenty four hours ago, Cartman wanted to destroy Tweek yet he had just saved his life. Cartman stared at Tweek for a minute before mouthing the words "Thank you" and he sat in his chair not saying another word.

Writer's note: I'm writing this for the viewers as well as myself, so if you wish to see more of Cartman / any other character please let me know and I'll try to include them in more parts of the plot.