Faithful

By: Cri du Coer

Disclaimer: I do not own any of J.R.R. Tolkien's work. Nor will I ever claim to.

Chapter Eight – Lilacs

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Mallwen brushed her hair into a high ponytail and blinked at her reflection. Her eyes stared blankly back at her, her lips missing that carefree smile. She shuddered as a draft blew through the open window. She shuffled over to the other side of her room and tried to force the window shut. Grunting with the effort, Mallwen struggled and failed to close the window. Arms enveloped from around her and closed the door after a brief struggle.

Mallwen, startled, turned around and found herself suddenly encased in Haldir's tight hug. Struggling to compose herself, Mallwen stepped out of the hug and pressed herself against the cold window. "Wh-What are you doing here?" Mallwen stammered, startled by his sudden presence in her room.

Haldir's steady eyes burned holes into her pupils. "You haven't shown up for lessons, goodness knows you need them, and I can never catch a word with you at dinner, you are always talking or off doing something else—" Haldir paused to regain his composure and breath. Mallwen was too terrified to speak. She had never seen Haldir show so much anger, so much indignity. Gripping the silk cloth of the curtains, she waited for Haldir to finish his tirade. "What have I done wrong? Or do you no longer find pleasure in my company?"

Mallwen bit her lip, lest she say something rash. Haldir waited patiently for her answer, his face only inches away from her own. Mallwen's eyes flickered downward as goosebumps rose where Haldir's breath graced her skin. She rubbed her arms to regain some warmth and pulled away from Haldir. "I…I have to go."

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Haldir stood in his room, trying to imagine what it was like to hold Lothwen. He felt at peace as he breathed in her lilac scent, her platinum-blonde locks gently moving with the breeze. Her bright blue eyes sparkled at him. Haldir's lips curved into a small smile, his eyes fluttering closed at his vision of Lothwen. This was the vision of his true love, granted to him by the Lady of the Light.

"My lord," Lothwen's quiet voice peeped from the doorway. Haldir opened his eyes and smiled at the beautiful elf-maiden. He frowned as the image of Lothwen in his mind failed to match the Lothwen that stood in front of him. Lothwen's hair, a coarse dirty blonde, was tightly braided and did not move in the wind. Her eyes were two beautiful jades, not the sapphires Haldir had so loved. Shaking these thoughts out of his head, Haldir stepped forward and hugged Lothwen tightly and took in a deep breath.

For the life of him, he could not smell the lilacs.

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"Haldir, are you all right?"

Haldir snapped out of his daze. He and Lothwen were taking a walk in the blistery winter day, hearing the leaves crunch under their feet and feeling the icy bite of frost on their cheeks. Haldir smiled at Lothwen and said nothing. Lothwen's worried eyes searched his face. She stopped suddenly, making Haldir stop with her.

"Say it." Lothwen's voice was surprisingly firm and assertive, and Haldir swallowed back his immediate response. Lothwen blinked faster as her lower lip trembled. "Just say it, you don't love me."

Haldir opened his mouth to deny it, but Mallwen flashed a heavily bandaged finger in his face. "This morning, on breakfast duty, I cut my finger. Did you feel it too?" Haldir clenched his hands into fists. In truth, he had not felt a thing, but he knew this was not the thing to say. Elves who loved each other shared their pain, physical and emotional.

"Y-you d-didn't…" Lothwen took in a sharp intake of air and threw herself at Haldir, her arms flailing. "How could you! I waited so long for you, hoping, praying you'd come to me, and now…" Lothwen stifled a sob as Haldir embraced her, kissing her golden head and feeling her breath become steady and even.

Lothwen pulled away and bit her lower lip. Haldir kept his eyes cast on the ground; such a sweet elleth, crushed by his insensitivity. The world was an unfair place. "I do not deserve you, lady," he spoke in an even tenor, as a single tear cascaded down his cheek.

Lothwen smiled and curtsied to him, her pale hands shaking as she gathered up her skirts and fled.

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Mallwen found herself at her bench, although she very much wanted to be somewhere else. She knew Haldir would be able to find her if she sat here, but something compelled her to stay. Perhaps she wanted him to find her here, alone. She glanced down the cobbled pathways; nobody came. The sun faded in the west, pinks splashing across the green-tinted sky. Mallwen squinted against the brightness of the sun and sighed. Maybe Haldir wasn't even looking for her.

She stood up to leave when she saw a figure in front of her. Mallwen smiled when she recognized Lothwen. Lothwen curtsied, and Mallwen noted with surprise her trembling lower lip. "Lothwen," Mallwen whispered tentatively. "Are you all right?"

Lothwen's bright green eyes clouded with tears. "My lady, please, dismiss me," she begged, clasping her hands together in earnest. "I…I fear I cannot be around you or your company any longer. I gave notice to Lady Galadriel, and she will have my journey to Rivendell prepared. I just…I cannot stand this place any longer."

Mallwen opened her mouth to protest, but, remembering the graciousness of her own lady, she smiled and touched Lothwen's cheek. "Lothwen, although it grieves me to say so…" Lothwen took in a sharp breath as Mallwen mulled it over in her mind. "…May the stars shine on your road, elleth."

Lothwen quickly curtsied and kissed Mallwen on the cheek before running off.

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Haldir was practicing his long-distance archery. Bull's-eye after bull's-eye, Haldir started and dropped his grip on the arrow when a hand shot out in front of his line of vision. He set his bow down and whirled around, and felt his heart skip when he saw Mallwen in front of him.

"My lord," she greeted him, and he returned it with a simple "elleth." Their eyes met and locked, cool gray meeting brilliant sapphire. Mallwen swallowed and opened her mouth. Haldir waited for her, patiently, as darkness painted the sky with an inky black.

"I need to know the truth." Mallwen's eyes faltered from his steady gaze. Instead, she focused on her hands. "D…do you love me?"

Haldir blinked in surprise at the question. He waited for some light to hit him, some revelation that held all of life's secrets. As he stood there waiting, he saw the way the moonlight brightened up Mallwen's face, the way her eyes held a childish hope and naiveté, and suddenly he knew. Love was not a lightning strike. Love was this; love was now; love was here, right between him and his beloved elleth.

"My lady," Haldir smiled, his hand brushing against her cheek, "I have never loved you more."

Mallwen's bright sapphire eyes brimmed with tears as her nose turned red, as she realized that everything he had said had been true. She let out a shaky breath and allowed herself to be hugged tightly by Haldir. Haldir smiled and closed his eyes. A perfect fit. He took in her scent.

Definitely lilacs.

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Author's Note: FINALLY!!!! Please review and tell me what you think! – Cri de Coer