Holly ends up being the one who drives them to Alfonzo's on Friday evening while Gail uses the opportunity to try and calm her nerves with little success.
Her fingers curl tightly in the fabric at the hem of her dress and her knee refuses to stop jittering up and down like crazy no matter how hard she tries to get it to stop. She presses her forehead against the coolness of the window and closes her eyes as she releases a trembling exhale.
Gail's never been a big fan of her birthday – sure, she loves cake and presents as much as the next person – but birthday's in the Peck household have always involved being celebrated in a rather stiff, formal way that completely negates the notion of fun and relaxing.
It's even worse this year; the stress she already feels by having to get dressed up and eat out in fancy restaurant – a restaurant, it should be noted, that she doesn't even like – is doubled by the added pressure of introducing Holly to her parents for the first time. Steve and Traci had promised to have her back and Gail knows that they will, but that doesn't stop worry from creeping into her stomach and sitting heavily as she thinks about the way her mother is bound to attack Holly in her subtle but ultimately devastating way.
The only thing that's kept her remotely calm is Holly; her unconditional, soothing reassurance, and ability to chase away Gail's fears preventing her from turning into a complete and utter anxious mess. Gail sets her jaw firmly and lets her fingernails bite into her knees as the desire to get Holly to turn around and run away in the opposite direction of her mother rushes over her.
She opens her eyes at the warmth of Holly's hand covering her own, her fingers gently working Gail's free from the hem of her dress until she's able to tangle their fingers together, squeezing comfortingly.
"It's going to be okay," Holly murmurs, taking her eyes off the road briefly to glance at Gail. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere, no matter what happens, I promise."
Gail releases a long, shaky breath, her mouth curling into a grateful smile as Holly dismantles her greatest fear with a few simple words. The rational part of her knows that Holly would never just up and leave her, that they have something solid and stable where honesty and trust from their friendship has flourished into the ever reliable foundation that they've built their relationship upon. But sometimes, in moments of weakness, she unwillingly lapses, her years of insecurities creeping back into her head and attempting to drag her back into the shadows.
Before Holly, her demons would have slowly lured her into the darkness; filling her head with doubt and making her already wounded heart ache tauntingly. The demons had dug their claws tightly into her when she tried again with Nick, always whispering provocatively in her ear; a constant reminder of all of her short-comings. It's part of the reason why she had acted out and cheated on Nick; a sad and desperate attempt to protect herself before he could really hurt her. Gail knows in the end that she only ended up hurting herself more with her actions, but Nick's dishonesty with her had only fuelled the whispers of the demons inside her head more, and by the end of their relationship she had been left bruised and beaten and more determined than ever to build the walls back up around her heart.
She doesn't know how the hell Holly got past them; how she seemingly walked past all of her defences and scared her demons away with a quick flash of her endearing, lopsided smile. Whatever the reason for her heart willingly accepting Holly inside it, Gail has never been more thankful in her life than she is right now.
"You ready?" Holly asks gently, breaking Gail's train of thought and smiling reassuringly at her.
Gail takes a moment to peer down the street at the restaurant, letting herself take a few steadying breaths as she catches sight of her parents and Steve and Traci waiting outside. It's the belief she sees in Holly's eyes for her that gives Gail the final surge of strength she needs; it's now or never.
She draws Holly's hand up to her mouth and dusts a kiss across the back of her knuckles, offering her a smile and a firm nod of her head. "Ready as I'll ever be."
Holly squeezes her hand a final time, waiting until Gail releases her grip and exits the car before she does the same. She makes sure to follow Gail's lead from there on, walking next to her as they make their way over to the restaurant, conscious enough to balance leaving a respectable space between them while also staying close enough to remind Gail that she's there.
"We were beginning to wonder if you were still coming," Elaine says in lieu of a greeting, and Gail offers a tight-lipped smile back as her mother steps forward to press a quick kiss to her cheek.
Gail notices her mother's eyes shifting to Holly as she hugs her father hello, and quickly pulls herself back to stand at Holly's side before her mother can say another word.
"Mom," Gail begins, taking a quick breath as she lets her eyes flick briefly to Holly's. "This is Holly-"
"It's always nice to meet one of Gail's friends," Elaine cuts in, extending her hand to Holly and shaking her hand cordially before turning her focus back to Gail. "Where's your doctor then? Please don't tell me he's gotten cold feet and decided not to come? It is your birthday, sweetheart, he really should be here."
Gail catches Steve's gaze over her mother's shoulder and takes his smile and slight nod as encouragement to slip her hand deliberately into Holly's, her eyes returning to flick between her mother and father's as she tries to read the expressions etching across their faces.
"I don't understand," Elaine says, her eyes moving slowly up from their hands to settle questioningly on Gail.
She feels Holly's thumb brushing comfortingly against her skin and dares to take a second to look over at her father. He lets his mouth twist up into an understanding smile, and Gail knows that he's okay with everything when he steps closer to her mother and places his hand on her shoulder.
"Elaine my darling, why don't we go inside?" Bill suggests cautiously. "Gail can explain more once we're seated in the warm."
"She can explain herself now," Elaine retorts shakily, her eyes never straying from Gail's face. "Gail?"
Gail swallows past the lump forming in her throat and focuses on the warmth of Holly's hand curled around her own, keeping her grounded and remaining supportive even as Holly stays silent and lets Gail handle this the way she wants to.
"Mom," Gail murmurs softly, willing her to take a step back and look clearly at what she's trying to tell her. "Holly is doctor I've been dating..." Gail trails off, watching the confusion in her mother's eyes slowly starting to fade away.
Elaine blinks back at her for a long moment then, her eyes wide with bewilderment, and Gail flicks her gaze up to Holly's, feeling helplessly unsure with how to continue.
Luckily for her, Holly knows how to read her perfectly and she doesn't hesitate to extend her hand out towards Elaine again. "Doctor Holly Stewart," Holly says confidently, smiling warmly. "It's nice to finally meet you Superintendent Peck."
Gail watches anxiously as her mother regards Holly's hand suspiciously for a painfully drawn out second before her whole body language shifts in a way Gail's seen time and time before; her shoulders squaring, her chin pointing up and her face steeling into an unreadable mask.
"Please, call me Elaine," she says as she accepts Holly's handshake briefly, her eyes betraying no hint of emotion. "Bill, get the door would you, I think it's time we go inside and get out of this cold."
Just like that, Gail watches her turn on her heel and strut inside, Steve and Traci following behind her without daring to say a word. She's not sure whether to be relieved or even more terrified at her mother's reaction – or rather, lack of reaction – and she doesn't realise that she hasn't moved an inch until her father's voice cuts through the silence.
"Don't worry about your mother, kiddo," Bill reassures her with a sincere smile. "She'll come around, you know how she is; she just needs some time to process the change, that's all."
Gail purses her lips together and shrugs tiredly. "I hope so," she says, unconvinced.
"Come on," he says, nudging his head towards the door, his eyes twinkling charmingly. "We have a birthday to celebrate, and I for one am very excited to get to know the lovely lady on your arm."
She feels her eyes prickle at the warmth and ease of her father's acceptance at least, and the affectionate kiss he presses to her cheek as she passes is what gives her the resolve she needs to lead Holly inside and face the rest of the evening.
Trying to get a read on her mother has always been a challenge.
Even as a child Gail had struggled to grasp her mother's ever stoic personality; the vibes of happiness or anger she sometimes gave off often conflicting when combined with her ever neutral facial expression. It often left Gail unsure, forever cautiously treading a fine line that she could misstep at any given moment.
It doesn't surprise her that her mother is hiding behind her steely facade; her Superintendent Peck persona stifling any hints of the small – and not to mention inadequate – pockets of maternal instincts that she hasn't rejected entirely.
Steve, Traci, and her dad solider through the blanket of tension that is covering them all and spend the first half of the evening making pleasant, easy-going, small talk in an attempt to sweep away the awkwardness. Holly is a saint; she keeps a smile on her face and powers through, sharing stories and laughing at her father's awful jokes while managing to remain completely composed under her mother's unwavering gaze.
Her mother refuses to meet Gail's eyes, but she makes sure to keep her intimidating gaze fixed on Holly despite her unwillingness to participate in the conversation taking place around her. Her stare is piercing and Gail knows personally how it feels to be under its fierce intensity – it normally causes people to buckle and crumble, their weakness only signifying Elaine's smug victory – and the fact that her mother's scrutiny is lingering unfairly on Holly alone only further fuels the hurt that's bursting through her veins.
Gail doesn't realise that she's started to glare furiously at the side of her mother's face with only the sound of her heart hammering noisily in her ears, until Holly's hand slides into her lap; her palm trailing soothingly down Gail's leg until she can curl her fingers warmly around Gail's knee. The touch draws her back to the present, her head turning towards Holly so that their eyes meet. Holly smiles softly at her and Gail lets herself look back until she loses herself in the calmness of Holly's eyes. She lets her hand cover Holly's over her knee, her fingers falling into the spaces between Holly's as she gives her a reassuring smile of her own.
"So, Holly, you're in the medical field?" Bill asks, drawing their eyes over to him across the table as he tops their glasses up with more wine.
"Yeah, that's right," Holly smiles in response. "I'm a forensic pathologist working for the Toronto PD; 15 Division mostly."
"Ah, I heard about a Dr Stewart working the forensics on the Phil West murder case a few months back... of course I didn't know who you were at the time," Bill comments with a smile as he pieces the memory together. "You did some outstanding work there; we wouldn't have been able to convict Lamar Mason without your findings."
"Thank you," Holly replies with a smile. "That really was a tough case to crack but I got lucky finding some stray hair fibres."
Bill smiles back at her. "If you don't mind me asking, how old are you, Holly?"
"Dad," Gail hisses warningly, raising her eyebrow at him. "You're not supposed to ask a lady her age, remember?"
Bill holds his hand up apologetically and grins when Holly just chuckles at the exchange and says, "Gail, its fine." And then, turning back to Bill, "I'm thirty-two."
"Remind me why knowing her age is important here?" Gail inquires, narrowing her eyes at her dad.
"It's not important, kiddo," Bill retorts, shaking his head. "I was merely curious. Being only thirty-two and one of the few female forensic pathologists in Ontario is very impressive. Your Holly is a clever young woman, Gail, you should be proud of her."
Gail watches Holly blush a little at the compliment and finds herself smiling fondly at her. "I am," Gail murmurs softly, her eyes meeting Holly's as she lifts Holly's hand to her mouth and presses an adoring kiss to the back of her knuckles without a second thought.
"My husband's right," Elaine says, her voice cutting through the pleasant atmosphere like nails on a chalkboard. "It's very impressive what you've managed to achieve so far in your career, Dr Stewart. I've heard the chief medical examiner, Dr Spencer, talk highly of your published works."
There's an unnerving edge to her mother's tone that makes a shiver prickle uncomfortably down Gail's spine. This is how she always starts her attack; a few half-hearted pleasantries used to create a false sense of security before she goes in for the kill. Gail's seen it happen time and time again, and she knows the only way to beat her mother at her own game is to act unaffected. Holly, however, looks a little startled by her mother's sudden involvement in the conversation and it's all Gail can do to squeeze at Holly's hand and encourage her back into action as she lets her eyes flick between them.
"Thank you, Elaine, that's very kind of you to say," Holly replies with a strained smile, lifting a hand to push her glasses further up the bridge of her nose. "And please, call me Holly."
Elaine hums in acknowledgement and purses her mouth together in a tight-lipped smile. "I would have thought a woman such as yourself – that is to say, highly educated and clearly ambitious – would have been drawn to somebody more... on your level, so to speak."
It's mostly an innate reflex that causes Gail to drop her gaze down to the table as the sting of her mother's first shot hits her head on. It makes her lungs burn achingly as her chest starts to constrict in response and she struggles to keep her breathing level.
Gail's grown used to it after all these years, the way each little dig her mother makes at her feels like another splinter is being embedded sharply beneath her skin. Sometimes, in the sweet moments of reprieve her mother grants her, Gail forgets that they're even there. She foolishly tricks herself into believing that the wounds they've left behind have healed. It's only when her mother crashes back into her life and launches her next batch of insults that Gail's left wincing from the way each one pricks painfully into her flesh.
"Excuse me?" Holly snaps back, causing Gail to look back up in surprise. Her tone is biting and her eyes are dark and narrowed – she looks utterly affronted, Gail thinks briefly – in a way she's never seen before Holly look before.
"I'm just saying that you're clearly a very accomplished individual, while my daughter is turning twenty-nine today and is still only a rookie officer," Elaine pushes on, seemingly unaffected by Holly's daring defiance to interrupt her. "Her ambition has always been a little... unfocused. You're rather mismatched, don't you think?"
Gail lets her shoulders sag in resignation as her eyes start to sting involuntarily at her mother's ability to always be so cruel and hostile. She wishes there was something she could say or do but Gail knows from years of trying that it's futile to try and change her mother's opinion of her.
She watches then as Holly's eyebrows knit together in disbelief, her mouth parting as she releases a deep and shaky breath.
"You really don't know the first thing about me, Superintendent Peck, so don't assume that you do," Holly states calmly while simultaneously pinning Elaine with an icy glare as she wraps her arm protectively around Gail's shoulders. "As for your daughter; Gail is one of the most committed and hard-working people I know, and the fact that her ambitions haven't been entirely crushed by your reprehensible opinions about her worth, astounds me." Elaine's eyes widen at Holly's response, a huffed breath slipping from her mouth in disbelief. "From the little I can gather you've let your own weird, twisted hang-ups about what success should be defined as blind you to the incredible person she is," Holly continues, determined to have her say. "You want to keep overlooking her and underestimating her, that's your poor, ignorant decision. But don't think for a single moment you can convince me to do the same."
Gail can do nothing but sit speechless at Holly's unexpected outburst; never has somebody so brazenly come to her defence, especially when up against her mother. Heaven knows her father and Steve have always tried over the years to protect her the best they knew how, but their approach has often been subtle and far too soft, giving her mother the perfect opportunity to bulldoze straight through them.
It feels weird then as she chances a look across at her mother to see the look of utter shock on her face at Holly's daringness to challenge her; her cheeks are flushed and her posture has deflated back into her chair as she carefully averts her gaze downwards. It makes her look more exposed and vulnerable than Gail ever remembers seeing before.
"I'm proud to call your daughter mine," Holly presses on, her voice softening as she flicks her eyes to Gail's and smiles so earnestly and so lovingly that Gail can feel her heart swelling in her chest. "I'll support her in whatever she chooses to do with her career as long as it makes her happy," Holly adds, turning back towards Elaine and ducking her head to seek out her downcast gaze. "I pity you for not having the decency to do the same, because ultimately you're the one who's missing out on the wonderful person your daughter truly is."
There's a heavy silence that follows then, and Gail finds herself leaning subconsciously closer in against Holly's side as they wait for her mother to respond. When she continues to keep her eyes focused down at the table and refuses to say another word, Holly sighs and shakes her head before turning her attention towards her father.
"It was lovely to finally meet you, sir," Holly says, smiling warmly over at him. "And I apologise for the way things have played out tonight. Hopefully our next meeting can be on more pleasant terms." She turns back to Gail then and squeezes her shoulder. "I think it's about time we left, birthday girl, don't you?"
"Please," Gail murmurs thankfully, without a moment's hesitation, flicking her eyes over to her father's. "Do you mind?"
"Of course not, kiddo," Bill replies, offering back a small smile of his own as they all stand from the table.
It's beyond awkward as they say their goodbyes – her mother holding on to her resolution not to look up at them again – but Gail takes the time to allow Steve and Traci to wrap her in big hugs before her father offers to walk them to their car.
"I'm sorry about your mother, Gail," he says once they're outside the restaurant and able to talk more freely. "Don't you take any notice of what she says, okay? I know at times we've pushed you a little too hard but I hope you know that I'm nothing but extremely proud of you."
Gail feels the tears she's been holding back all night spill free from her eyes and escape down her cheeks. "Thanks, Dad," she replies thickly, letting him pull her into a warm hug as he brushes a kiss to the top of her head.
She watches as he extends his hand to Holly once they've parted. "It really was nice to meet you, Holly. I hope we'll have the chance to get know each other better."
"Me too," Holly says with a smile, grasping his hand and accepting his handshake.
"Right, I guess I better go and make sure your mother hasn't massacred the waitstaff," he jokes, reaching out to squeeze her arm. "Try and enjoy what's left of your birthday, kiddo."
"I'll make sure she does," Holly says softly, offering her father a final smile before he takes his leave and heads back inside. Once they're settled in the car, Holly reaches across the centre console to take Gail's hand. "I know this probably doesn't make up for what we just sat through but there's still some of the night left, we could go get a drink somewhere if you fancy it?"
Gail releases a deep breath as she lets her head fall back against the headrest and smiles tiredly. "You know, all I really wanted for my birthday this year was you and me, snuggled up on the couch, and watching lame TV while we made out like horny teenagers."
Holly chuckles in response and smirks over at her. "I think I can arrange that for you, birthday girl. Besides, I already have chocolate cupcakes and tequila waiting with your name on it back at mine."
"This is why you're my favourite," Gail murmurs, letting her mouth curl into a cheeky grin when Holly glances over at her. "Add in birthday sex and you just might be able to redeem this night completely."
"Might be able to?" Holly echoes with mock disbelief. "Baby, I'll make you think that all your birthdays have come at once."
"As long as I'm coming that's all that matters," Gail teases back, laughing when Holly wiggles her eyebrows flirtatiously at her.
She realises ironically then that this – just her and Holly being goofballs together – is what has made her smile properly for the first time all night. It shouldn't really surprise her given how time with her family normally goes, but she feels overwhelmingly appreciative for Holly even more so now that she's been exposed to the Pecks for a couple of hours.
"Hey, thanks for being there tonight, Hol, and for... defending me," Gail breathes quietly, rubbing her thumb across the back of Holly's hand appreciatively; it somehow doesn't quite feel like enough.
"I meant what I said, Gail, I'll always be here for you, no matter what," Holly says softly, tugging at Gail's hand until she can lift it up to her mouth; her lips pressing a gentle, lingering kiss across the back of her knuckles. "I really do just want you to be happy."
Gail lets her eyes close at Holly's comforting and consistent devotion, and tries to ignore the niggling ache in her chest that wishes her mother would feel the same way.
She's in the bathroom, fresh out of the shower and cleaning her teeth when she hears the doorbell ring out through Holly's apartment. She hears Holly's footsteps pad noisily past the door as she rushes from the bedroom to answer it. Gail glances at her watch sitting on the side, the early hour piquing her curiosity as to who it could be at 8am on a Saturday morning. It's the way Holly's voice drops from happy and chirpy – her usual morning tone – to low and unimpressed that fully catches her attention and clues her in as to who it might be.
Gail quickly spits the minty foam in her mouth out into the sink, pulls on her sweats and t-shirt and rushes from the bathroom to find her mother standing awkwardly in the doorway. Holly turns to look at her over her shoulder as she remains blocking the doorway, refusing to let Elaine in, and quirks her eyebrow questioningly as to what Gail wants their next move to be.
"What are you doing here, Mom?" Gail asks, crossing her arms over her chest in a subconsciously pre-emptive move to protect herself.
Elaine shifts nervously, her shoulders dropping a little as she dares to look past Holly to Gail. "I came to speak to you both," she says, flicking her gaze between them. "To apologise; to Holly and to you."
Holly looks back at her again, and Gail purses her lips together unsurely even as she nods her head giving Holly permission to let her mother inside. She watches then as Holly steps backwards, gesturing with her hand for Elaine to come inside. Her mother does as she's bid and enters into the apartment only a few steps before stopping hesitantly.
Gail watches as her mother daringly lets her eyes dart around Holly's apartment, surveying it with intrigue and stopping only when Holly passes by her to stand supportively at Gail's side.
Elaine clears her throat and open and closes her mouth tentatively before averting her gaze again. She takes a deep breath and then focuses her attention on Holly. "You know, I looked you up when I got home last night Dr Stewart, you truly are an impressive young woman."
"I'm glad your background report on me impressed you, Superintendent," Holly retorts, shaking her head in disbelief that this is how Gail's mother is choosing to start the conversation. "What's next, do you want some of my blood so you can get a DNA test?"
"That's not what I-" Elaine fires back, stopping to swallow away the dryness in her mouth. "That's not why I read your report. You were right, I don't know the first thing about you but I wanted to get a sense of who you are. I read up on your work and on your personal statements; you seem like a very nice and kind young woman with a variety of interests in things outside of your field, and I apologise for being so presumptuous about you and your relationship with my daughter."
Gail lets out an audible breath of surprise at her mother's revelation; it's not often that she's ever seen Elaine Peck apologise and look like she means it. Holly slips her hand into Gail's and brushes her thumb soothingly against Gail's skin, her eyes searching out Gail's to make sure she's okay.
She squeezes Holly's hand back and watches as Holly takes a breath to steady herself before turning her attention back to her mother. "I appreciate your apology, Superintendent Peck," Holly replies calmly. "Thank you. I won't apologise for what I said last night, but I am sorry that we didn't get off on the right foot because I would actually very much like for us to get to know each other."
Elaine nods her head in acknowledgement and gives Holly a small smile before she lets her eyes shift to Gail. "I would like to speak to you alone, if you'll allow me to?" she asks softly, her eyes pleading.
Gail feels her stomach knot anxiously; dread prickling down her spine as she worries her bottom lip nervously between her teeth. It's early and she still feels like her wounds are raw and barely healed from her mother's attack the previous night. She doesn't know if she should expose herself to her mother's potential onslaught again so soon.
Holly senses her reluctance instantly and shifts until she's standing in front of Gail, blocking Elaine from her view as her hands move to cradle Gail's face. "It's okay if you're not ready to talk to her," Holly whispers, searching out Gail's eyes intensely. "If you want me to get her to leave, I will."
Gail lets her eyes close and focuses on the warmth of Holly's hands on her face. The fact that her mother is even there and looking sincere in her attempt to patch things up is enough for Gail to at least try to hear her out. Elaine Peck doesn't extend olive branches often and Gail is mature enough now not to throw it back in her face.
"It's okay," Gail murmurs quietly as she looks back up at Holly. She sees the hesitation lingering in Holly's eyes even as she nods her head understandingly, and so Gail takes a moment to close the space between them and kiss her softly in an attempt to reassure her.
Holly smiles warmly when they break apart, holding her close for a second longer before stepping back and turning towards Elaine. "I'll be in the bedroom if you need me," Holly says, letting her eyes flick between them; Gail knows the look is reassurance for her and a warning for her mother.
It isn't until Holly has disappeared behind the closed door of the bedroom that her mother dares to step closer to her. "Thank you for talking with me," she says timidly, her eyes trailing over Gail's face as if she's unsure of how to read her.
Gail swallows thickly and shrugs. "You're my mom," she replies simply, as if that's explanation enough.
She can't help but notice then the way her mother twists her fingers together nervously, her brow furrowing as she speaks again. "I was out of line last night..." Elaine breathes, shaking her head at herself. "...way out of line, I know that."
"Yes, you were," Gail replies, folding her arms over her chest again.
"I'm sorry for the things that I said; it was just such a shock... I'm not sure that I even understand now," Elaine says, her eyes narrowing in confusion. "You've always dated men in the past. Even during your rebellious years you never brought a girl home. It seems like such an abrupt change this late in your life, Gail."
Gail lets her arms fall down to her sides and takes a step closer to her mother in return, hoping that they can manage to keep the lines of communication between them open and honest without falling back into their old patterns.
"Look, it took me by surprise too, okay?" Gail admits truthfully. "I didn't set out to fall for Holly, but I did, and she makes me so happy, Mom. Happier than anybody has ever made me." She pauses then, smiling as she thinks of Holly. She holds her mother's gaze, hoping to emphasise the point. "Does it honestly matter to you that much that she's a woman?"
She watches as her mother purses her mouth together pensively, a long moment of silence passing between them before she says, "It could complicate your career, Gail."
Gail scoffs in disbelief and squares her shoulders defensively. "Well, according to you I'm not ambitious enough to have a successful one anyway, so what difference does it make?"
"Sweetheart..." Elaine murmurs softly, her eyes flashing with hurt as she shakes her head in disagreement. "That's not true... I-"
"I know it's a big change to my life," Gail cuts in, unable to ignore the fire rushing under her skin that's giving her the courage to say what she's always held back. "And if it, for some reason, has any effect on my job, I'll work twice as hard to prove that who I share my life with has no bearing on my capabilities, okay? I love being a police-officer and I intend to make it my life's career, but just because I don't go about it in the way you would doesn't mean that I'm not driven."
It surprises her a little then, the way her mother's eyes shimmer in the early morning light with unshed tears. "Despite what you've grown to think of me, I've only ever pushed you towards what I thought was best for you," Elaine confesses quietly, her gaze never wavering from Gail's own. "What I thought would make you happy."
"I know," Gail replies softly, feeling her defensive resolve shifting down a gear as she reaches out to briefly touch her mother's arm. "But the one thing you've never been able to understand, Mom, is that I don't want being a police-officer to be all that I am. And I know some people will look at me differently now because I'm with Holly but I'm still the same person I've always been. All I can hope for is that they still see that in the end. But more than anything I wish you'd see that," Gail whispers, shrugging as she bares her heart truthfully. "I wish you'd see me for who I really am and not who you want me to be."
At that, Elaine closes the remaining space between them and reaches out to tenderly cup Gail's cheek. "You're my daughter, Gail, nothing will ever change how much I love you, you have to know that," she breathes, the words catching in the back of her throat. "I'm aware that I'm not a perfect mother, and I know our relationship has been a struggle at times," she adds, nodding her head then, as if feeling the need to acknowledge her pitfalls in a way Gail can physically see.
"Mom..." Gail whispers helplessly, knowing there's nothing she can say to convince either of them that what her mother is saying isn't true.
"My mother was always tough on me growing up and I guess I ended up copying her methods because I didn't know any other way to relate to you," Elaine continues, her eyes full of regret. "From them moment I married your father your Grams called me 'tough old boots' behind my back when she thought I wasn't listening," her mother chuckles fondly at the memory. "And when you came along she started to nag at me, telling me I was weighing you down with too much pressure; that in the end it would only end up pushing you away... I guess the old bird was right, huh?"
She purses her mouth together into a rueful smile and lets her hand slip from Gail's cheek as she averts her gaze down to the floor. Gail feels her eyes stinging as her chest constricts at the flood of overwhelming sorrow radiating out from her mother's body. Gail can't help but notice then, the way her normally bigger than life presence has disappeared, stripping her back completely and leaving her mother looking frightfully small and vulnerable.
It's her that reaches out this time, letting her hand curl around her mother's arm and squeeze gently until she's met with clear blue eyes so similar to her own. "I don't doubt that you love me, Mom," Gail says, offering her a small smile. "I just- All I ever wanted was for you to let me be my own person and make my own decisions; right or wrong, success or failure. I don't need you to put in a good word for me or push me towards what you think is best for me from your Superintendent point of view." She pauses then, holding her mother's gaze intently, even as a few tears escape from her eyes and trail down her cheeks. "I just need you to be my mom."
"I can do that," Elaine says softly, stumbling a little as her voice catches, and reaching up to wipe the tears away from Gail's cheeks as her mouth curls into a gentle smile. "There's nothing I want more then for us to have a proper relationship."
Gail lets out a breath of relief as the weight that's always lingered heavily around her shoulders finally slips away. "Me too," she breathes, smiling back happily. "I really need you to be supportive of whatever I choose to do with my life though, whether that's becoming a detective or a prestigious white-shirt, or even if I choose to spend my hours grafting as a beat-cop on the streets of Toronto."
"I can do that," Elaine repeats, her eyes understanding as she lets them trace over Gail's face lovingly. "And for the record, I'm very proud of you. I know I don't tell you enough, but I am; I'm so very proud of you," she says softly, making Gail's eyes well with more tears as she finally hears the words she's always so desperately yearned for her mother to say to her. "You're a remarkable person, Gail, and I'm honoured to call you my daughter." She pauses then and nods her head in the direction of the bedroom before letting her eyes flick back to Gail's. "You're right, it doesn't matter that she's a woman as long as you're happy. I know you'll do amazing things regardless of any challenges life throws your way, not just because you're a Peck but because of the incredibly strong and determined person you've become."
Gail blinks back the tears still lingering in her eyes and lets her mother take her hand. "Part of that's thanks to Holly," she admits, smiling affectionately as she turns her head towards the bedroom. "She's supported me and encouraged me unconditionally; she's made me believe that I can achieve everything that I want to."
"I'm glad you've found somebody who makes you feel that way, Gail," Elaine says, squeezing Gail's hand gently. "She seems like a person well worth having in your corner; I think I can testify to her strength of character after taking a few – and I admit, well deserved – hits from her last night."
Gail lets out an amused breath; the image of Holly challenging her mother and winning is something that will forever be etched in her memory. "You'll like her when you get to know her more, I promise."
"I don't doubt that," Elaine replies smiling kindly, pausing a second before nervously saying, "Would it be okay if I... gave you a hug?"
The question catches Gail off guard and makes her heart ache sadly. It's such a simple request, something that Gail knows people – especially mothers and daughters – do all the time without a second thought, but the uncertainty that echoes in her mother's voice reminds her that it's something they've both gone far too long without.
Gail nods her head and whispers longingly, "Yes please."
She swallows hard against the overwhelming emotion rising in her chest as her mother closes the space between them and wraps her arms securely around her; her hand soothing up and down Gail's back as Gail's body crumples into her embrace, clinging tightly.
Her mother presses a kiss against the side of her head just like she used to when Gail was little and inhales deeply as she breathes in the sweet-scent of Gail's soft hair. "I really do love you very much," Elaine whispers. "And I'm truly sorry from the bottom of my heart for not always being the kind of mother you deserve."
Gail keeps her eyes closed for a moment longer, allowing herself to absorb the feeling of love and acceptance her mother is finally emitting. She pulls back and presses a kiss to her mother's cheek. "I love you too, Mom, flaws and all," she says smiling, and watches as her mother's eyes glimmer gratefully, her face lighting up with a relieved grin.
Her mother apologises then as her phone rings out loudly between them, disturbing the moment, and steps back to reach into her pocket to retrieve it. She ends the call without even considering answering it and turns her attention back to Gail.
"I should get going and leave you two in peace to enjoy your weekend. Not to mention your father will be pacing around outside in the cold and worrying himself into an early retirement," Elaine in-tones jokingly as she glances at her watch. "Maybe we could all have dinner together again soon – a peaceful dinner this time, I promise. I really would like to get to know the woman who's stolen your heart," she says honestly, echoing her words from before and consciously adjusting it in a way that makes Gail's heart swell appreciatively.
"I'd like that," Gail replies softly.
"I'll call you to arrange it during the week," Elaine says with a smile and leans forward to press a kiss to Gail's cheek before she turns on her heel and makes her way to the door. Gail blinks in confusion as she suddenly stops and marches back towards her, pulling something from her bag. "I almost forgot," Elaine says, passing Gail a gift wrapped box.
Gail takes the box, holding it anxiously as she flicks her gaze to her mother's. "What's this for? You already gave me a birthday present; you got me that red dress I wanted months ago and let me have it early, remember?"
"I remember," Elaine replies and shakes her head. "This isn't for your birthday though." Gail quirks her eyebrow suspiciously and narrows her eyes at her mother in confusion. Elaine merely reaches up to pat her cheek and smiles. "Congratulations on getting the detective rotation, sweetheart."
"How did you know?" Gail mumbles in surprise, and then feels the light bulb literally going on inside her head. "Let me guess," Gail says, cocking her head to the side accusingly. "You asked Frank last night when you were doing your research on Holly, right?"
Elaine chuckles and shakes her head. "No I didn't, he won't answer my calls." Gail feels her face twist up in puzzlement then, knowing for a fact nobody but her, Holly, and Frank know about it yet. "Holly..." Elaine explains simply, her mouth curling into a smile. "It was written all across her face last night how much she believes in you and how fiercely proud she is of you. She hit a nerve when she said I underestimated you and I figured it out from there."
Gail smiles warmly in response. "What can I say; I'm very lucky to have her defending my honour."
"Indeed," Elaine concedes, nodding her head. She touches Gail's wrist gently, offering her a parting smile before saying her goodbye and making her way out of Holly's apartment.
Gail stands in the quiet, the box feeling heavy in her hand as she narrows her eyes in disbelief. It all feels a little surreal and Gail closes her eyes tightly and counts to ten, thinking that when she opens them again she'll be waking up in Holly's bed from a very odd dream. When she opens her eyes again and finds herself standing in the same place, the box still in her hand and her cheek still tingling from where the press of her mother's lips had been, she lets her feet carry her into the bedroom to find Holly.
Holly immediately looks up in concern from her position on the bed when Gail bursts through the door looking bewildered, her eyes still a little red and puffy. She puts the book she was reading back on her nightstand and pushes her glasses up onto her head as Gail crawls onto the bed and settles in at Holly's side.
"Are you okay?" Holly whispers, wrapping her arms around Gail's body and pressing a kiss to her hairline. "How'd it go? What's in the box?"
Gail lifts her head to find Holly's eyes, and smiles softly as she rests the box on bed and rubs the palm of her hand soothingly against Holly's stomach to calm her rambling. "I'm good," Gail breathes, blinking in disbelief a couple of times before letting out a bemused breath. "It went really, really, well. We actually talked some of our shit out; she apologised, and told me she's proud of me and that she loves me. I feel like I'm having a dream and I'm going to wake up at any second, Hol." She lets out a little yelp of surprise when Holly pinches at her arm a second later, and scowls up at her. "What was that for, you bitch?"
Holly laughs and rubs her hand over Gail's arm, ducking her head to kiss away the pout forming on Gail's lips. "I was just reassuring you that you weren't in some weird twilight, parallel universe where your mother is a saint who loves puppies and rainbows."
"Funny," Gail snarks, even as she breaks out into a smile. "But seriously, it went better than I ever thought it would. She really, honestly, promised to try harder to let me live my life the way I want and not the way she thinks I should. I mean, that's a good start, right?"
"It sounds promising," Holly nods. "At least now I can stop thinking up all the different ways I could hide her body without leaving a trace."
Gail tuts mockingly. "Dr Stewart, you weren't planning a murder were you? I'd hate to have to arrest you."
"You wouldn't dare," Holly taunts, tickling her fingers against Gail's ribs and making her squirm. "Who would be your badge bunny then, huh?"
Gail laughs deeply at that. "Oh my god. I can't believe you just- Never call yourself that again, you giant nerd."
"Sure thing, Officer," Holly teases with a wink and mock salute. Gail retaliates instantly, burying her face in the crook of Holly's neck and nipping gently at the soft skin just below her ear. Holly pinches at her side again to get her to stop and Gail presses a sloppy kiss against her neck before lifting her eyes to find Holly's again. "Are you going to open the box or what? Way to keep a girl in suspense, Peck."
Gail shifts her body until she's leaning up against the headboard and reaches for the box, turning it over slowly in her hands a few times as she flicks her eyes to Holly's unsurely. Holly curls an arm around her shoulders and nods her head encouragingly.
She takes a deep breath then and lets her fingers work the ribbon loose, cautiously sliding the lid free and letting her eyes take in a familiar locket on a fine, silver chain. Gail lets out a shaky breath and reaches out to trace her fingers over the cool, smooth metal, her mind flooding with the memory of her younger self doing the exact same thing as it rested against the warmth of her mother's chest.
"It's beautiful," Holly murmurs softly, drawing Gail's attention to her as she takes in the intricate design etched into the locket.
Gail hums in agreement and pulls it from the box, letting the chain spill down the back of her hand as the locket rests in the centre of her palm. "It's my mom's," Gail breathes. "She always had this on when I was growing up. I don't know why, but I always loved it and used to beg her to let me wear it. I was never allowed though," Gail shrugs as her eyes flick to Holly's. "It originally belonged to my Grams, but she had given it to my dad to give to mom when they got engaged; it had been passed down to Grams from her mother when she met her husband, and because Grams only had dad she wanted her new daughter-in-law to have it. My mom always said she'd pass it down to me when I-"
The rest of her sentence dies off as Gail feels her breath lodge in the back of her throat, the realisation of what it might mean that her mother has chosen to give her the locket now hitting her squarely in the chest.
"Your mom always said she'd pass it down to you when you... what?" Holly prompts, her eyes wide with curiosity.
Gail feels her heart swell with affection for her mother and her acceptance as she curls her finger around the locket and lifts her eyes to Holly's, smiling fondly. "Just... when I was old enough," Gail deflects, watching as Holly's eyebrows knit together as she cocks her head to the side sceptically. She's thankful that Holly doesn't question her about it anymore and instead simply takes the locket from Gail's hand.
"Lift your hair up," she instructs with a smile, watching as Gail bites shyly at her lip before doing as she's told and turning her head so that Holly can reach around her to place the locket around her neck; her fingers brushing tenderly against Gail's skin as she connects the clasp. "There," Holly whispers, pressing her lips to the nape of Gail's neck once she's done and smiling when Gail moans quietly at the touch.
"Thanks," Gail breathes, letting her hair fall back down around her shoulders as she turns her head back towards Holly.
She feels her heart beating rapidly in her chest then as Holly's fingertips reach out to trace over the chain resting against her skin, her thumb brushing over the locket carefully as she holds Gail's gaze.
The amount of love Gail sees reflected back at her in Holly's eyes makes her stomach flutter pleasantly, and Gail can't help but lean forward and take Holly's face in her hands; kissing her slow and deep, and hoping desperately that her lips and tongue can translate the overwhelming feeling she knows her heart contains but that she hasn't yet found the courage to speak aloud.
The cheer that erupts loudly the second she steps foot in The Penny makes Gail squeal involuntarily in surprise, her hand instantly going up to cover her mouth in embarrassment as her friends smile and laugh, their clapping and wooing for her continuing even as she makes her way over to them.
She feels a flush creeping up her neck, leaving her cheeks rosy and the tips of her ears burning as she takes in the hand-crafted sign they've hung up above their normal table which reads 'Congratulations Detective Peck #2!'.
"What's all this?" Gail says, trying to play it cool as she unbuttons her coat and throws it over an empty stool.
"Well, Peck..." Oliver says with his usual dry, sarcastic tone. "...a little birdie told us you got the detective rotation that's coming up."
Gail shrugs awkwardly in response. "Maybe."
Traci rolls her eyes at her and hands her a drink. "Come on, don't be all coy, Gail; you know you're excited that you get to join the non-uniform gang."
"Traitor," Oliver coughs into his fist, holding his hand up innocently a split second later when Gail turns to pin him with narrowed eyes.
"Don't listen to that grumpy old man, Peck. He's just upset that his favourite rookie is coming to play with the big kids," Sam says from his seat next to Andy, his mouth twisting into a smirk when Oliver throws a peanut over at him.
Oliver pats the seat next to him and waits until Gail sits down before slinging his arm around her shoulders. "Sammy's right, I am upset. How could you not tell me, Peck? After all our bonding over junk food and fine women, I really thought we had something special," he teases.
"Maybe it's because you titled me as 'Peck #2' on your sign," Gail snarks back, recognising Oliver's handwriting easily.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Oliver says, feigning ignorance and making Gail break into a smile even as she rolls her eyes at him.
Gail downs her drink quickly and then glances around at them all as she asks, "Who told you lot anyway?"
Chris shakes his head with a smile, taking her empty glass from her. "Holly, obviously," he answers as he gives her shoulder a congratulatory squeeze before he spins away and heads back to the bar to get another round in.
"She's so proud of you," Chloe chips in, smiling over at Gail from her position on Dov's lap. "She was so adorable when she invited us all here to celebrate with you."
Gail instantly twists her head, letting her eyes dart around the bar in search of Holly, and blushes brightly when she hears Dov poorly impersonate the sound of a whip. "Shut up," Gail hisses, glaring at him and making everybody laugh.
Andy touches her arm gently and smiles at her. "She's here, don't worry. She just nipped out back into the kitchen."
"What's she's doing in there? Do I need to be worried?" Gail questions, jumping a moment later when a pair of familiar hands squeeze at her shoulders playfully.
"You should always be worried when a nerd plots something," Holly teases, leaning down to press a quick hello kiss to her cheek.
Gail tugs at Holly's arm then and draws her down onto her lap, fully intending to reply with a witty remark only to find herself getting lost in the warmth of Holly's eyes instead. "Hi," Gail murmurs stupidly, finding herself unable to stop from breaking out into a fond smile as everything but Holly seems to fade into the distance.
"Hey yourself," Holly breathes back, her eyes flickering subconsciously down to Gail's mouth.
Gail tilts her head up invitingly, letting her nose bump against Holly's before their lips find each other's with ease. A chorus of catcalls forces them apart only seconds later and Gail hides her face in the crook of Holly's neck as Holly breaks into a laugh.
She's about three drinks into her evening, and holding her arms up in celebration for kicking Traci's ass at pool, when Steve arrives. He catches her unaware and pinches playfully at the back of her neck in the way he used to when they were little and laughs when Gail turns around, scowling menacingly as she shoves at his chest.
"You suck," Gail growls, reaching up to rub at the back of her neck where her skin stings.
Steve just purses his mouth into a mock pout. "Aw, you poor baby," he teases smugly, and then winces a second later when Gail punches him in the shoulder.
"Hey, play nice, Pecks," Traci instructs, positioning herself so that she's standing in-between them.
Gail scowls grumpily. "Your man child started it," she retorts, watching as Traci shakes her head, waving her finger warningly at them both before heading over to join the others.
"Don't look at me like that, you know I'm just playing with you," Steve replies, reaching for her and tugging on the sleeve of her top until she's standing in front of him. "I know things haven't always been the easiest for you but you did really good here, little sis; I'm proud of you."
She watches him shuffle a little awkwardly under her gaze and feels a surge of affection for her annoying, doofus of a big brother. He's always had her back and even when he teases her relentlessly or gets on her nerves in ways only big brothers truly can, Gail knows she can count on him when things truly matter.
"Thanks," Gail says, bumping her fist against his arm affectionately as she averts her eyes.
A moment of awkward silence lingers between them and Gail's thankful when she hears Steve disrupt their weird bonding moment by clearing his throat. "Buy you a drink to celebrate, Peck #2?" he asks, his normal cocky smile firmly back in place as he inclines his head towards the bar.
"You bet, Pippi Longstocking," Gail fires back, sticking her tongue out at him tauntingly as she walks backwards towards the bar.
Steve frowns, shaking his head. "I don't like you," he breathes, rolling his eyes when Gail smirks back at him and follows behind her.
At some point during the evening, when she'd been settled comfortably in Holly's lap – she thinks it was sometime during her forth drink and god knows how many shots – Dov had demanded they all take part in his latest trivia challenge. As the damn quiz finally draws to an end – Gail well on her way to being blissfully buzzed – she finds herself happily zoning out, enjoying watching her friends all be together; laughing and generally being their idiotic selves. It feels like it's been awhile since she let herself be thankful that they're all there; all together under one roof, all safe and healthy and living their lives fully. It feels like a blessing that Gail never really knew she needed, and has only this year come to truly understand and appreciate.
She hums happily at the thought and feels Holly's hand slip beneath her top so that she can trace her fingertips up and down the slope of Gail's spine. It makes Gail smile at her when she catches Holly's eye briefly, and she can't help but nuzzle her nose along the shell of Holly's ear, letting her lips press a lingering kiss to the smooth skin below it.
Chloe's eyes are on her when she looks back up again and Gail narrows her gaze irritably. "What?"
"Nothing," Chloe says, her words slurring a little as she shrugs happily. "Well, actually, I was just thinking-"
"That we're cute together, I know, you've told us like a million times," Gail cuts in.
Chloe giggles and shakes her head. "Not what I was going to say."
"Oh," Gail mumbles, blushing.
"I was just thinking, with you and Steve both being detectives now, are they really going to call you Detective Peck #2?" Chloe questions thoughtfully. "It's going to get super confusing otherwise."
Gail shrugs, her brow furrowing as she says, "I hope not."
"I know," Chloe exclaims a second later, clapping her hands together loudly and drawing everybody's attention. "They could call you Detective Peckling since you're basically like the little, odd duckling of the group; always waddling around and being grumpy, pecking at us all with your sharp little beak."
Gail wrinkles her face up in disgust as everybody laughs at Chloe's suggestion. "That's gross and totally not happening," Gail scoffs, and glares when they only laugh harder at her reaction.
"It is kind of perfect for you, Gail," Andy says, all wide, excited eyes and bright teasing smiles. "You do peck at us a lot when you're in a bad mood."
Gail shakes her head. "No," she repeats adamantly, piercing Andy with an unimpressed look, knowing exactly where this is headed. "Absolutely not."
"I like it," Chris chips in around a mouthful of burger, shrinking back when Gail turns her glare on him.
"It's shorter to say than Peck #2," Steve adds with a smirk.
She lets her eyes flick around the rest of the group then and takes in the way they're all grinning smugly back at her. Gail shakes her head even more, determined to object despite knowing she's already lost. She turns towards Holly, silently pleading with her to back her up and make it stop.
"Tell them it's not a good name for me," Gail prods hopefully.
Holly opens and closes her mouth apologetically before biting back a smile that leaves Gail pouting. "I'm sorry, baby, but now they've said it, you do kind of remind me of a little, adorable duckling; you're so cute and fluffy even when you're being grumpy and pecking at people."
Gail scowls in response, and tries to half-heartedly remove herself from Holly's lap as Holly quacks playfully at her and tightens her hold around Gail's waist, pulling her in closer until she's wiping the scowl from Gail's face with constant little kisses.
"I'm not some stupid, grumpy, pecking, fluff-ball duckling," Gail protests weakly, her mouth curling into an unwarranted smile as Holly keeps kissing all over her face.
Sam arches his eyebrows at her when he catches her eye. "Your missus has cast the deciding vote; you're now officially Detective Peckling to the rest of us."
"I hate you all," Gail says, trying her best to glare at them but getting distracted as she sees Oliver emerge from the kitchen carrying a giant chocolate cake.
Traci appears alongside him with a tray of shots, handing everybody a glass as Oliver sets the cake down in front of Gail. She notices instantly that the icing handwriting across the centre of the cake that simply reads 'Congratulations Gail xxx' is Holly's and it makes her smile lovingly as she turns her head to find Holly's eyes.
"To Peck," Oliver says, raising his glass up. "For not only always secretly being my favourite-"
"Not a secret," Dov, Andy, and Chris all call out together, grinning teasingly at him and making Gail chuckle.
Oliver shrugs at them and turns back to Gail. "As I was saying, to Peck, for not only always being my – apparently well known – favourite partner in crime but for being an impeccable officer and friend. I wish you all the luck in the world on your detective rotation... even though I do wish you'd consider staying on the streets with me." Gail laughs as Oliver clinks his glass against hers then with a cheeky, "Cheers!"
She watches everybody tip their glass towards her with a mixed chorus of, "To Gail" and "Detective Peckling" and rolls her eyes fondly at them as she raises her own glass in thanks before downing her shot of tequila.
Everybody slowly starts to depart shortly after that, each taking the time to seek Gail out to give her a proper congratulatory hug, and Gail feels her cheeks aching from smiling too much by the time Oliver shrugs into his jacket and comes over to say goodbye.
"How long have you been waiting to use the impeccable line?" Gail asks, quirking her eyebrow up at him.
"From the moment I met you," Oliver replies with a smile, pulling her into a brief hug before patting her affectionately on the cheek as he pulls back. "Just been saving it for a special occasion."
Gail feels her throat lodge with an overwhelming rush of fondness for him, and settles for pulling him into another hug, hoping that he'll understand that she'll miss being partnered with him too.
Oliver smiles warmly when she finally releases him, and squeezes her arm in acknowledgement as he says goodnight and heads out into the cold.
She feels a pair of arms slipping around her waist then as a familiar warmth blankets her back, Holly's lips trailing a row of kisses from the crook of her shoulder up her neck until she can nuzzle her nose behind Gail's ear. "I hope you don't mind that I told them all," Holly breathes into her skin. "I just thought you deserved to blow off some steam and celebrate after the last couple of weeks we've had."
Gail hums contentedly at Holly's caress and folds her arms over the top of Holly's, holding her in place. "Tonight was really great," Gail murmurs, twisting her head to seek out Holly's eyes. "Thank you for organising it, I appreciate it."
"Even if I agreed with them that deep down you really are just a cute and fluffy little duckling despite your tough persona?" Holly jokes.
"As long as they know that I'm only your cute and fluffy little duckling, I'll get over it," Gail whispers with a smile. "Besides, if they try and tease me too much I'll just remind them all just how hard ducklings really can peck."
Holly shakes her head in amusement and smiles loving at her in response, and it makes Gail's heart swell with unbridled happiness as she reaches up behind her to tangle her hand in Holly's hair and draw her down for an infinitely soft and endless kiss.
