They spent a few hours doing not much. Harry got cleaned up and felt a lot better with a proper shave, his face free of his beard. They lay on the bed not talking and not sleeping either. Harry couldn't sleep because he was still in Moscow, and he wanted desperately to be in London. Or anywhere but here really. Ruth didn't want to sleep while Harry was awake, she was very worried about him.

Soon enough there was a light knock on the door. Harry tensed instantly. It was like his arm had turned into an iron bar. "Don't panic. It'll only be Adam. I told him to give us a knock before the flight." She squeezed his arm gently. "I promise it'll be all right. Adam?" she called.

"Yeah, I've got the car around the front," he said. "Take your time." He walked away and they heard his footsteps receding.

"What time is it?" Harry asked.

"London or Moscow time? It's 4 a.m. here, its about 1 a.m. in London."

"Okay," he said. "Lets go."


As soon as the flight took off, Harry slept, and slept well. Ruth felt relieved that he was getting some sleep. It just annoyed her that it wasn't a particularly long flight because she knew he needed a few more hours. She dozed, but spent the rest of the flight watching him sleep. He looked relaxed and carefree. She hadn't seen him that way for a long long time. It was good to see.

"Hey," she said softly when they were getting ready to land.

"No. Not moving. I need sleep," he said in such a childish voice that it broke her heart.

"Wake up," she said.

"Can't take it any more. No…"

"Harry, it's Ruth," she said, ignoring the lump in her throat. "It's me and you're safe. Now open your eyes." He did and came to reality with a jerk. He looked wild and terrified and then his hazel eyes settled on hers. "It's okay," she soothed.

"Just tell me I got out of Moscow?"

"Yeah," she said. "I was waking you because we're about to land."

"Don't pinch me," he murmured. "I like this dream." He smiled sweetly at her and she smiled back. Without thinking about it she leaned across the seat and kissed him. He reacted instantly and she smiled as his lips pressed against hers firmly and passionately. "Mm," he murmured against her lips. "I like this."

"Mm," she agreed, kissing him again. He lifted his hand and held her face gently as their mouths became reacquainted with each other. She carefully touched him, his face, the back of his neck, his hair as they pulled closer to each other. She loved his lips, so perfect as they pressed against hers. This felt good, it felt normal in such an exquisite way. His hand roamed over her thigh, pulling her close and she let him. She was simply annoyed that they were landing so she had to have her seat belt on.

"I forgot to tell you something very important," he whispered. "I forgot to tell you I love you."

"That's good," she said, daring to open her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "I needed to hear that." He raised his eyebrows in silent question. "It doesn't work that way," she said, half laughing. "I love you too." He kept kissing her for several minutes.

And then, all of a sudden it was like a wall had come down. He stopped and looked at her, the smile gone. The moment of carefree joy had vanished. In its place were the memories of the last month. She pulled away, feeling him tense.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"No," he said. "Don't be. I just… There was a moment, and…"

"You were back there," she said quietly. She disentangled herself from him, trying not to touch him more than necessary. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not now," he said firmly. "Can we leave the offer open?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "Whenever you want."

"Good." He forced a smile. "Lets just get home shall we?"


"Go on then, tell me the worst," Harry said, putting his shirt back on.

"You're going to be fine," the doctor said. "You do have a fractured rib, but you've been damn lucky in the fact that it's already healing, and its aligned properly. You've got a third degree burn on your calf which needs this lotion applied to it several times a day. Otherwise it's just flesh wounds. Bad flesh wounds, but they'll heal without much interference. You're lucky."

"I don't feel lucky," Harry said honestly. He'd only been back in the country for a few hours and he didn't like the secret services doctor either. All he'd done since getting home was get changed and have another shower before being shipped off to the grid. Then he had had a conversation with Adam about operations he might have compromised while under torture, and then visited the Thames House doctor. It wasn't exactly the nicest welcome home.

"Do you want my professional opinion?" the doctor asked. Harry nodded. "I'd like to refer you to a psychologist."

"I can't," Harry said. "If I see a shrink I'll never get away from the taint of it in Thames House. No one will ever respect me or listen to me again. I'll be done, you know that."

"I do," he said. "But I also know that you've been tortured for a solid month. The physical side isn't going to last. The emotional will take a lot longer to heal. You need to talk to someone."

He thought about it for a moment but then shook his head. "I can't," he said.

"There's a psychologist who's already signed the official secrets act. I refer my patients to her when they don't want to talk to someone in house. She's good."

Harry stayed silent as the doctor proffered him a card. "I'll think about it," Harry said. "I need time."

"Okay," the doctor said. "But I'd recommend it. And I'm not signing off on you coming back to work until your rib is fully healed either."

"Fair enough. Thanks." Harry left the doctors with a prescription for painkillers and saw Ruth sitting in the waiting room, reading a trashy magazine.

"I've missed my celebrity gossip," she said, getting up. "Everything went…?"

"Fine," he said. "I want… to go home," he added.

"Okay," she said. She moved to hold his hand, almost out of habit and the desire to comfort him. She regretted that the second she'd attempted it as he was as immovable as steel. She let go of his hand. "Sorry," she said. Harry didn't reply.


Thank you for the reviews, and I'm glad everyone was pleased with the reunion. Hope you enjoyed this chapter too.