The Road to Home is Paved with Good Intentions
Over many years, I have developed an extremely effective method of dealing with any issues that come my way. It is simplistic, holistic and data driven. Not only that, it allows for a great deal of latitude in regards to how I plan and then deal with the issue. It also has an accompanying plan for resolving the issue, once again, simplistic, holistic and data driven.
Namely, this method is called 'Ignore the Issue at All Costs' and its accompaniment is called 'Hope It Goes Away'.
If neither of these well-honed and time honoured plans work, there is also plan 'Drown it in Alcohol', and its cousin, 'Ignore Your Phone and Emails for As Long as Humanly Possible'.
Considering that emails and mobile phones are a thing of the future, and that alcohol is something that I'm not likely to get my dirty paws on any time soon, I hope you can guess which plan I chose.
In immediate contravention of that plan, I have to report a few changes to my body. Beyond fixing any visible anatomy, like kneecaps, elbows and sculpting various bones and tendons into my skin, I have undertaken a mild upgrade of my skin. I no longer have 'bleach white' skin, now I only have 'whitest person you'll ever meet' coloured skin. Just like I once had.
Ignore the issue at all costs. Thank you very much.
I did a bit of scouting today, considering that the train is only a day or two away. Firstly, I visited Southern Cross. No, that's in Australia. Kings Cross? Christ on the Cross train station.
How have I forgotten its name? I was only there a few hours ago, for fucks sake.
Lapses in memory aside, I looked around and found the infamous platform nine and ¾. Well, not completely, I found platform 9-10, assumed that was good enough and went for a coffee break. Par for course really.
One of these days my inability to complete things is going to hurt me. Also, my coffee drinking habits can't be good either. I must be approaching half a litre a day of the stuff.
Maybe I should google coffee toxicity.
…
I don't know how to use a library, nor do I have the patience to figure out how.
I guess that question is going unanswered.
I also had a bit of a quick chat with Tom, the owner of the Leaky Cauldron pub. He is an odd fella, I'll give you that, but I think he is a goodish person at heart.
Not entirely sure, especially with the characterization in the third movie.
Either way, he cooks up a mean sausage roll, something I've pleasantly found to be quite reminiscent of Australian food. Which is a good thing, I assure you.
With a little bit of tomato sauce and a Victoria Bitters I could imagine being home.
I left soon after.
Anyway, unpleasant allusions to being homesick aside, I've got to catch that train tomorrow. Which means that be on my a-game, looking sharp and arriving on time. Contrary to what I've demonstrated, I actually plan ahead of everything I do. The issue is the maxim about plans and contact with the enemy.
Anyway, I think I'll try to look smart and smart, both intelligent and well kempt, hopefully impressing both Hermione and Harry in one go. And if I can't get to his heart in one go, it's not really important. Harry never appeared to be the sort of person who only cared about first impressions.
All I really have to do is hang around him at school. Just simply interact with whatever he seems to be doing at the moment. All that interaction should put me in a favourable light, especially compared with the rest of our year level. And probably more importantly, I can eventually leverage future knowledge and the ability to not be a total dick as a force multiplier in coming years. Especially with the 'Heir of Slytherin' and Goblet of Fire fiascos. Being level headed is all that is required.
Hermione on the other hand is my real target. I suspect that she will be friends with Harry, no matter what happens. And importantly, she is one of the few people that Harry consistently heard advice from.
If I can get my claws into her, it would only be a matter of leveraging that relationship.
And even more importantly, gaining her friendship would be easy. I was identical to Hermione when I was young. Hand up for every question. Desperate to show off to everybody that I knew what I talked about. Desperate to see some sort of validation from my peers. Knowing that I was pushing them away but unable to change, not knowing what to do.
Those first months before Harry and Ron saved her from the Troll were when she was at her lowest, when she had nobody to lean on in the entire school. She had alienated everybody.
That will be my opportunity.
That is all I have to do. Listen to her. Let her have that validation. And like that, she should fold neatly into my plans.
Probably.
I'm mildly unsure how Harry will react.
Also, look at all those tenses. Past, past perfect, present, future, future perfect and future conditional. Probably a few more in there too, because English is weird like that.
More distractions. Joy.
All this plotting leaves a dirty taste in my mouth. It could be the coffee I'm drinking, but I somehow doubt it. It tinges the pleasant taste of a pleasant cappuccino with the distinctly unpleasant dregs of unpleasantly.
And it appears that I'm out of adjectives for today. Come back tomorrow for the Hogwarts Express holiday extravaganza. Probably with one hundred percent more awkward silences!
