Poisoned by Choice

Chapter 9: Hardheaded Bandits

Disclaimer: I own neither Fairy Tail nor Naruto they belong to Mashima Hiro and Kishimoto Masashi respectively

A/N: First chapter of this little job here. Not entirely sure how it went so let me know what you think.

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"Demon/Dragon Talking"

'Demon/Dragon Thinking'

"Telepathic Conversation"

'Flashback'

Magic/Magic Item

Location/Time Change


Train Car

"You know, in hindsight maybe waiting till we were on the train to talk about the job wasn't the best of ideas." Cana remarked.

"You think?" Sanji sarcastically asked.

Across from the two was a miserable Naruto once again suffering from motion sickness. Why couldn't Lily Town have been within walking distance? "I'm fine…" He moaned out. "Just get on with it."

Cana gave him a dubious look, but started to outline the job. "The client is the mayor of Lily Town named Ryker. He wants us to deal with a group of bandits that have been attacking the town recently. It's a fairly large group and they've seen at least ten different guys and they suspect that there are at least five more." Cana glanced over the flyer again. "It says that they'll give us more details when we get there."

"That's not very useful." Sanji dryly noted. Naruto groaned in agreement. "They could have at least told us if there were any mages in the group or not."

"I don't like it either." Cana admitted. "I only looked at it in the beginning because of its high reward and then it was too late to find a different job." Her plan to rope Naruto into helping her backfired a bit. "That's why I asked you two for help."

"Asked?" Naruto said incredulously in a moment of perfect health before letting out another moan of pain when the train took a turn. "More like forced."

"Toe-may-toe, poe-tay-toe." Cana replied.

"Those are completely different." Sanji pointed out.

Cana flashed a cheeky grin. "I know."

Naruto let out another groan, this one not related to his motion sickness. This ride was going to take forever.


Two Hours Later, Lily Town Train Station

Cana helped Naruto get off of the train while Sanji flew ahead of them with their bags. She grunted while supporting Naruto's full weight thanks to his deadened legs. "Uff! What have you been eating, rocks?" She asked.

"Just set him down on a bench. He'll be back to normal in a minute." Sanji advised. "Or as close to normal as he can get."

Naruto groaned out what might have been an insult but was indiscernible. The long trip on the train had made his motion sickness worse than usual. As much as he complained about Erza punching him—well out of her earshot—it was effective for avoiding his symptoms. Cana followed Sanji's advice and sat herself and Naruto's deadweight on a nearby bench. His face soon lost its pale complexion and he was able to move under his own power in no time. "Alright, I'm back in business." He declared.

"Great, then hold these." Sanji told him before unceremoniously dumping their bags onto Naruto.

He staggered under the unexpected weight for a moment and then shot the cat a dirty look. "The hell is this?"

Sanji returned to the ground before answering in a patronizing tone. "The bags. Someone needs to carry them and I can't fly all of the way there holding them."

"Then don't. We can just carry our own." Naruto pointed out.

"Idiot!" Sanji shouted at Naruto. "A true gentleman would never make a lady carry her own bags."

"Then do me a favor and refresh my memory, because I can't seem to recall ever claiming to be a gentleman." Naruto shot back. He punctuated this by throwing Sanji's bag at him.

This started an argument and competition between the two to see who could force the other to carry the bags. Cana had seen this song and dance before and just led the way out of the train station. She knew that Naruto and Sanji would follow her while throwing their insults and luggage back and forth without a care in the world. Harmless insults of "ero-neko" and "shitty blond" confirmed that the pair were keeping place along with the sound of their bags hitting each other's face. Unseen by her, Cana's bags had been slung on Naruto's back and weren't thrown the entire time.


Mayor's House

The mayor's house, if you could call it that, was a fancy three-story building. The lawn was perfectly manicured and there was a wrought iron fence around the place that was both decorative and functional. A fountain was located halfway between the house and gate that was pure white and had a statue of dolphins jumping out of waves that the water came out of. The entrance had two marble columns and gold trim around the two double doors leading inside. The entire place reeked of wealth and excess.

"This is going to be one of those missions where the client sucks, isn't it?" Naruto commented from outside the gates. The entire walk through town didn't even have a single building close to the size of this one, even the local inn was only two stories. He prayed to God that the house was inherited by the mayor and not built by the current one.

"Yup." Cana answered. She lamented the fact that she didn't have any booze with her. Past experience with jobs like this made her know that she was going to have a worse headache from dealing with the client than if she spent the entire job drunk. Damn her professionalism.

Naruto let out a sigh before walking up to the gates and pressing a button on the side of one of the gateposts. Seriously, the guy had a freaking intercom? What kind of mayor was he?

A posh voice was emitted from the speaker. "Mayor Ryker's estate, please state your business."

The mages rolled their eyes at the pompous greeting. "Naruto, Cana, and Sanji, Fairy Tail mages here about the bandit extermination." Naruto answered.

There was a small pause before the voice was back again. "Ah, yes. Mayor Ryker is expecting you." A green light lit up by the gates and they automatically opened for the mages.

As they walked inside they couldn't help but notice how nice the front yard was. It looked like something out of a painting. More money was probably spent on the upkeep of the yard than a mage's average income for a month. They could feel their hopes of a decent client die a little with each step. When they got to the front doors there was no doorbell, but instead a pair of lion head knockers. Naruto used them with a grimace and the door quickly opened.

An older gentleman stood inside in a stereotypical butler attire. The only thing missing on him was a monocle and the mustache. He nodded at them and stepped to the side. "Greetings, Naruto-sama, Cana-sama, and… a cat?" He was surprised at Sanji's appearance and wrinkled his nose at his lit cigarette.

"That's Sanji-sama, you shitty geezer." The "cat" growled out while purposely dropping some ash on the rug, earning himself a disapproving glare from the butler and another from Naruto that told him to behave. He answered both of them with a snort. If the shitty butler was going to treat him like an animal then he was going to make his life harder in any way he could.

The butler handed their bags off to a different servant before addressing the mages. "Your things will be taken care of. Ryker-sama wishes to speak with you about dealing with the bandits immediately. Please follow me." He began to lead them through the house with the air of someone who was silently protesting the indignity of a job that they hated but had to do.

The butler led them into a large open room that was packed with expensive decorations. The mages caught sight of their client and felt their spirits dampen even further. Ryker was a small and overweight man that carried himself with an air of importance that immediately soured the mood of those nearby. Every inch of the man was immaculately measured and he probably spent more time getting dressed and ready for the day than the human mages spent drinking. He wore an expensive black three-piece suit, perfectly polished black shoes that shone like gems, and at least two golden rings on each of his fat fingers and one per thumb. He had obviously dyed short black hair and a thin pencil moustache. "Thank you, Jeeves." He addressed the butler who gave a perfect bow and silently left. He turned to the mages and coughed into his fist as if he needed to gain their attention before speaking. "So you three are the ones who took my job." He remarked while running an appraising eye over all of them. "You'll do, I guess."

The mages bristled at his offhanded insult, but said nothing. There was a level of professionalism that had to be carried out while meeting a client for the first time, even in Fairy Tail. Punching clients in the face had to wait until they were at least halfway done with the job.

Cana took the lead for the group. "The flyer said that there was more information that you could give us on the bandits." She said in a professional manner. It was the best way to deal with people like this, get the job done as fast and with as little interaction as possible.

"Yes, yes, of course." He motioned for them to take a seat. "The bandits have been attacking my town for about a week now. I can't get any supplies delivered here and the townspeople's complaints are becoming quite annoying. I have a shipment of very fine and expensive clothing arriving in two days that needs to be here on time. The bandits have been attacking us from the forest to the south of the town that the major trade road runs through. I've sent several of the town guardsmen after them, but they were all defeated. I need you mages to go there and defeat them before my shipment arrives."

They waited for several seconds for the mayor to give them more information, but nothing happened. Ryker's face grew annoyed at their lack of movement. "Well? Get going." He waved them away.

"That's it?" Naruto asked in surprise. They were there to learn more about the people they were supposed to fight and that was all that he gave them?

"Yes. Now go."

"You can't be serious." Sanji said. "We need to know more about them if you want us to defeat them. Their numbers, how strong they are, the actual location of their base, something!"

"That's not my problem." Ryker got to his feet. "Anything else you need was on the flyer. Now go out and do your job." He dismissed them. It appeared to be a cue for Jeeves, who reentered and escorted the mages out of the house along with their bags.

They looked back at the house in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me. What the hell are we supposed to do now?!" Naruto complained.

Cana grabbed Naruto's collar and began to pull him along. "Come on. If that arrogant asshole won't help us then we'll have to ask the townspeople."


Lily Town

The Fairy Tail mages were sitting at a café in the middle of town and mulling over a disappointingly nonalcoholic drink. Sanji blew out a puff of smoke while critically examining the food he had ordered. It was as disappointing as this job was turning out to be. "So all we've been able to find out from these people is that the shitty mayor is a shitty person." He remarked.

"Half of the people didn't even know about the bandits. The other half of the people who knew about it only knew because they knew someone in the town guard and didn't even complain about it in the first place." Naruto pointed out. What they actually 'complained' about was the conditions of the town and the large taxes. "The only productive place was the hospital and town watch station."

The town watch who had been recovering were able to direct them to the town watch station. It was an old building that looked like it hadn't been updated in years. The chief had been infinitely more helpful than the mayor had been. He had told them that there was at least twenty people in the gang and several of them were mages themselves. The leader hadn't been seen yet, but all of the members were unusually strong fighters. The bandits had only attacked when the mayor was the one who would suffer and completely ignored the other shipments.

"Why do they only attack the mayor though?" Cana asked. "I mean, I can understand why people here hate him so much, but how do they know that?" The entire town hated the mayor's guts and he was only in power because his money kept their economy afloat. His family had been in control for generations and had become too essential to get rid of.

"I'm more concerned about how we're supposed to do this job." Naruto finished off his drink. "The forest isn't exactly a small place. Even with how big the group is we'll still struggle to find them in time."

"We'd probably be better off setting up our own ambush." Sanji said. "It'd be easier to have them bring the fight to us than track them down. Even if they escape we can just use your nose to track them down."

The others nodded in agreement. Sanji's plan sounded solid and there was room to work with when the fight started. It would probably be better for them if some of the bandits got away so that they could find the others.

Cana got to her feet and dropped some money on the table. "Let's go, guys. It's bandit hunting season." The other two stared at her in disbelief. "What?"

"That was awful." Naruto said. Sanji nodded in agreement. He was normally fully supportive of the pretty women in his life, but that was worse than the food they served here.

She let out an annoyed sigh. "Just pick up the damn bags."

"Of course, Cana-chan!" Sanji called out.

She just shook her head and started to head south as the sound of their renewed argument started again. See if she tried to motivate them again. She blamed the lack of alcohol in her system. Stupid professionalism, it messed with her thought process. If she was even slightly inebriated she would have been able to get them off their asses in a heartbeat!


Southern Forest, the Next Day

A cart was traveling through the forest pulled along by two horses that were driven by a man in a brown traveler's cloak and straw hat that was hunched over in his seat. As they passed a bend in the road there was a man at the side with blood on his pants leg and a pained expression. He called out for help and the driver stopped the cart. "Thank God!" The injured man said. "I fell off of the tree and broke my leg. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't passed by."

The driver slowly got off of the cart and unsteadily helped the man to his feet. "You're lucky I passed by."

A malicious smirk grew over the injured man's face as he pulled a knife and placed it against the driver's neck. "Yeah, lucky me." Multiple bandits began to approach the cart from all directions. "Now don't do anything stupid and nothing bad will happen to you." The apparent leader threatened the driver and emphasized by moving the knife closer to his neck.

A smirk appeared on the driver. "Funny, I was going to give you the same advice."

One of the bandits that had approached the cart was blasted out of the doorway in an explosion. Cana walked out of the smoky doorway with a stack of cards in each hand. Sanji, in Battle Mode, walked up next to her.

"Too late." The driver remarked. The knife against his skin began to sizzle as it was dissolved by acid and he slammed a head-butt into the leader's face. His cloak and hat were discarded, thrown at nearby mages to allow him to jump onto the cart where he landed on the roof. "I guess you guys are just out of luck."

The leader snarled at Naruto. "It's the mages. Kill them!" He ordered.

Sanji preempted their attack and began to leap around the enemies in ablur of yellow fur and kicks. He cursed whenever he hit the bandits to little effect. They were forced backwards, but seemed to take the attacks like they were nothing and kicking them felt like hitting steel. 'What's wrong with these shitty bandits?' He wondered. Due to their resistance he started to focus on hitting their heads in order to rattle their brains around.

Naruto and Cana were having similar troubles while they fought. Cana needed to use an entire set of her Card Volley just to damage one mage and Naruto's Poison Dragon's Spines weren't doing anything at all. "What's wrong with these guys?" He asked aloud while dodging a basic Fireball. "They're shrugging our hits off as if it was a breeze!"

"I don't know." Cana replied while avoiding her own assailants. Not all of the bandits were mages so several were using basic weapons that they were surprisingly skilled with. She pulled out three cards and swiped them through the air. "Thunderbolt's Fate!" Unlike her other attacks, the green lightning seemed to damage the mages and caused several of them to be defeated. Cana realized the cause and called out to her partners. "They're only tough physically! Hit them with elemental attacks!"

Sanji cursed at Cana's words. He could only kick his enemies and thus had no way to hurt these guys. His distraction cost him and one of the bandits that had been pursuing him landed a blow with his mace. It hit with surprising force and launched Sanji into the cart. "What kind of weapon was that?" He muttered to himself. The bandit grew confident from landing a hit and rushed forward to finish the cat off. This proved to be a mistake when an annoyed Sanji dodged his attack and landed a rapid flurry of kicks to his chin, knocking him out cold. He reached down and picked up the man's weapon. It seemed to be the standard mace that anyone could buy at a weapons' store. Seeing nothing special about it, Sanji used it as a projectile and kicked it at another bandit. He then cursed profusely when it felt as if he had just hit a block of steel. "Okay, definitely not that guy's magic." His Battle Form's time ran out at that moment causing him to curse even more. "Goddammit, not now!"

The bandits became a lot more confident thanks to his drop in size and walked up to him threateningly. "Hold still, kitty cat." A sword wielding bandit told him.

Sanji rolled his eyes at the man and easily dodged his attack. He then used his sword as a ladder and ran up it to kick the man in the nose. Again it did nothing, but the distraction allowed him to take to the air and taunt the bandits from above. He made sure to stay within their range, but none of his enemies could use magic and resorted to throwing rocks at him. Sanji glanced over to where Cana and Naruto were fighting with concern clear on his face. 'Be careful, guys. There's something off about these shitty bandits.'

Naruto had made his way through several bandits with the use of his Poison Dragon's Roar and had engaged the leader. He had tried to take him out earlier, but the guy apparently knew Earth Magic that let him wear it like armor. It was hard to hit him with an attack if he was sealed tight in there. Naruto also couldn't disengage to attack him from afar thanks to the rocks he launched at surprising speeds. Kyubi had just finished fixing his shoulder from a lucky shot he had taken earlier.

"Is that the best you've got, punk?" The bandit asked. "I could take you down with one hand behind my back." He mocked Naruto, who was breathing heavily. He had thought the blond to be a fighter after his earlier move, but after watching him fight he realized that he played a mainly support role along with the brunette. The cat seemed to be their main fighter and he had apparently used up his magic if his small size was anything to go by.

Naruto said nothing as he continued to take as many deep breaths as he could. His opponent was unusually intelligent for a bandit and surprisingly skilled in combat. Anytime Naruto tried to use his Poison Dragon's Roar he would fire a small stone at high speeds to prevent him from attacking after seeing what it did to his men. This was a disturbing turnaround from the usual bandits he fought that went with the 'charge in headfirst and hit it till it stops moving' plan. To be honest he preferred the latter. Easy money that way.

The bandit leader apparently had grown tired of playing cat-and-mouse with Naruto. He slammed his hands on the ground and dropped the area they were fighting on down to form a makeshift arena. Naruto couldn't see past the rock helmet, but he'd bet there was a smirk there. "Nowhere to run now." He taunted. Rock pillars began to burst out of the sides and floors of the arena and forced Naruto to perform some fancy gymnastic tricks to avoid. Unfortunately for him, he didn't know gymnastics and was unable to keep it up for long.

Naruto realized that he couldn't keep it up and focused all of his chakra to reinforcing his body instead of helping his speed. He was battered around several times before being slammed into the wall and bound with rock restraints. The bandit leader approached him, but kept his armor on just in case. He stopped in front of Naruto, but stayed out of range in case he should break free. He turned the rocks around his hand into a spike and held it up to stab him. "Any last words?" He sarcastically asked.

Naruto's mouth moved, but the bandit couldn't make out what he said. He unconsciously leaned in closer to Naruto. "What?"

"Don't miss."

The bandit was confused by his words but assumed that he was asking him to make it quick. "Your funeral." His fist shot forwards at lightning speed and… missed? The bandit had hit to the right of Naruto's head and the kid hadn't even flinched. He scowled and shook his head in concentration. He tried again but missed the wall entirely and fell forward. "What's happening to me?!"

"Just a little mix-up in your brain." Naruto told him. He flared Kyubi's chakra and burst out of his restraints. "Poison Dragon's Breath. Hallucinogen style." He said with a wide grin.

"When did you?" The bandit asked as he tried to regain his feet.

"The whole time. Did you really think that I was winded that easily?" Naruto mocked.

"But my armor..." The bandit began to see things and Naruto's image took on a demonic visage.

Fanged teeth filled a whiskered face with glowing eyes. "Hard to see green mist through all of that dust." The bandit's eyes widened in shock. All of the dust he had kicked up with his magic had shielded Naruto's attack. Outdone by his own move. He was forced to drop his Rock Armor due to the lack of concentration and could do nothing as the demonic man approached him. He tried to move away, but couldn't tell which way was which at this point. "Don't worry," The demon told him. "This will only hurt once." The last thing he saw was a purple fist hit his face.

Naruto shook his hand while standing over the bandit leader. The guy's head was seriously hard. He reached down and started to drag him by the collar up out of the pit he had made. When he reached the top he saw that Cana had already piled the rest of the mages up and Sanji was tying them up with rope. Naruto whistled at that. Sure, he had taken out a handful along with the leader and Sanji beat at least two, but that left at least a dozen abnormally strong bandits to Cana. "Nice job." He complimented before throwing the leader onto the pile.

"Not bad yourself." Cana returned with a nod at the leader's body. "They were pretty easy to beat after I started using lightning and there were only like three mages here. How'd you get your guy?"

"Hid my breath in his dust clouds. He was a real pain in the ass." Naruto said while rolling his shoulder. He was still a little sore, but he'd just walk it off.

Cana gave a smile and slung her arm around Naruto's shoulder. "Then let's drop these guys off at Mayor Asshole's place and celebrate by drinking. Since you beat the leader first round is on you." She declared.

"There's something wrong with your logic." Naruto deadpanned at her.

"Doubt it. Now help me throw them on the cart." Cana told him while walking over to the bandit pile. "I want to get back to the guild and be shit-faced by sundown!"

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto lazily drawled as he walked over to help her.

They had brought along an empty cart in order to defeat the bandits after they had convinced the real shipment to wait an extra day to deliver their cargo so they could take care of the bandits. It was both a functional disguise and easy transport system, even if Naruto had needed to stick an iron rod in the driver's seat and tie himself to it in order to play the part of the driver. He had refused to stay in the back of cart since there wouldn't be much air and it would only make his motion sickness worse. On the return trip to the town he would just walk next to the horses.


Mayor's House

The mages stared at the building in shock. The once pristine house and lawn had turned into a mess. There were multiple broken windows and both the gates and front doors had been knocked over. Ryker was waiting for them at the gates with a disheveled appearance and a nasty twitch in his one eye. His suit was torn in multiple places and his hair was showing more signs of gray than when they had left. He darted around nervously and wrung his hands constantly.

"What the hell happened here?" Sanji asked the mayor, causing him to nearly leap out of his skin.

"Nothing, nothing." He lied, eyes darting around as if he expected a bomb to go off at any moment. He ran a tongue over dry lips and swallowed hard. "Did you beat the… b-bandits?" He asked with a stutter.

"Yeah." Cana told him with a concerned look. The man may have been an asshole, but something had him spooked bad. "We dropped them off at the guard station. Do you need our help or…"

"NO!" He shouted out with more force than they expected from the small man. "I-I mean that you've done enough." He pulled out an envelope and gave it to the mages with shaking hands. "Here is your reward. Thank you for your services. Goodbye." He left them in front of his ruined house while he limped his way back inside.

The mages watched him go in surprise. That had been entirely out of character for Ryker and they could tell despite meeting him for less than ten five minutes. Naruto was the first to turn away. "Let's go, guys."

"But Naruto-" Cana began only to be cut off.

"Let's go." He repeated with more force behind it. "Job's over and we're done here."

"You're just going to leave it like this, you shitty blond?!" Sanji demanded with disappointment laced in his voice.

"Yeah. This town stinks."

Cana and Sanji shared a looked before following after Naruto to the train station.


Later, Mountain Cave

The bandits that the Fairy Tail mages had beaten up returned to the cave with wounded pride. They had gone in expecting to lose, but it still stung to be beaten by only two mages and a flying cat. The others went off to have their wounds treated while the leader walked even farther into the cave. He stopped in front of a mountain of a man who occupied a chair specially made to hold a man his size and saluted. "Kenta-san, I've returned from the mission." He announced.

"Welcome back, Berk." Kenta rumbled out. He was a very muscular and bald man with a rugged face, large moustache that covered his upper lip completely, and an air of authority around him. He wore an open brown jacket, simple dark pants, and combat boots. "How did it go?"

"We were defeated as expected. Even with your help the men were still outclassed and overpowered." He admitted.

Kenta nodded in understanding. "What of the mages that you fought?"

"There were three of them like we were told. One used Card Magic, one was a flying cat that could change size and used kicks, and the last one was the Poison Dragon Slayer." Berk reported. "I personally fought the Dragon Slayer, but he tricked me and I was poisoned with a halucigen."

"And that trash, Ryker?"

"He followed your orders. We were released from prison and he promised that the money would be here tomorrow as promised."

"Excellent work, Berk. Go rest up and have your wounds looked at. Make sure that all of the poison is flushed from your system and that there are no side effects." Kenta ordered.

"Yes, sir!" Berk snapped another salute and then left the room.

Kenta got up from his chair and walked out into the cave. He approached two guards who also saluted him and stopped in front of a prison cell. Inside were two women, one was older yet had aged well and was still beautiful while the other was a young and beautiful girl that appeared to be a cross between the older lady and Ryker. "You better hope that Ryker keeps his end of the bargain, or else I'll be forced to send you back to him, piece by piece." He threatened. Once he was satisfied that the prisoners were too scared to resist he left and nodded to the guards. "Make sure that they receive food and water, but only after everyone else has eaten."

Knowing who he was up against, Kenta left to prepare. Paranoia never hurt anybody, especially when dealing with Fairy Tail mages.


A/N: Done. I'm still not very confident about this chapter or set up, but I think it turned out alright. Later.