Chapter 9
Castiel was still humming/singing in a tuneless, entirely tone-deaf fashion as he struggled to insert his key into the lock. "When I grow up, I wanna drive fast cars... I wanna have - " He broke off suddenly. The door was all wrong somehow. Castiel bent down, squinting. He barely had time to read the inscription, "Bless our humble house," before he heaved the humble remains of Gabriel's violently coloured mystery shots all over it.
No wonder his key hadn't worked. Castiel was hunched over, ridding himself of his terrible liquid sins on the wrong stoop. Well, that mat had been far too drab anyway. He was only doing them a favour, honestly. A strip of purple chunks would give it some much needed character after all, what were neighbours for?
Oh no! His own stoop was still miles away. Three whole doors away. Castiel would never make it. Three whole doors! Anything could happen! What if he fell down and died here? Mere feet from his decorating job! Castiel would perish a second time, in the morning, immolated by the flames of shame, flushing his cheeks.
No, no. Gabriel must not have the satisfaction of causing this! Castiel gamely, began the unsteady struggle to his feet. When had he collapsed anyway? Nevermind, the wall was a godsend, providing a firm surface to help brace himself on.
Once Castiel had righted himself, he used a shuddering whisper to curse his fool of a brother thoroughly. Three doors, not thirty, you can do this. You have a PhD! You have a sexy, sexy catman who needs you to bring him food tomorrow!
Ha! This was his door! A victory for the ages! Men would sings songs commemorating his triumph! Ok, so getting the key into the lock was proving a slight challenge, like threading a needle whilst wearing boxing gloves. But lo, it is in! Behold, he can turn it thusly! Two songs praising his name! "Castiel Found His Apartment Door Even Though He Was Powerfully, Profoundly Shit-Faced!" The second song "And He Unlocked It!" would mostly be epic guitar riffs.
Castiel was elated to enter his domicile. My holy God, that surface looked soft and squishy! There was a word for such things, but it escaped him now. He kicked weakly, trying to dislodge his outside foot-coverings as he toppled forward, but alas, it was useless.
Green. Green eyes. Golden fur. Purring noises. These were his final conscious thoughts. A very fun night out indeed. Never again. Never, Gabriel. Never again.
