I don't own the Blacklist and I don't make money with fanfiction.
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Warning: A little M-ish for language in the end!
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Previously: After reading the first page, Elizabeth knew she would read all night; it was like reading a bestseller novel.
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Raymond Reddington, born Feb. 7, 1960
skipped two grades at school
graduated at the age of 17
highly intelligent, IQ 130
slight emotional disorder; has problems with feeling empathy to others
ability for showing/feeling emotions limited on very few people
usual behavior: cold and calculated;
...
18 pages later, Elizabeth wasn't as shocked as she had expected. She had always suspected that his IQ was much higher than normally and during the interrogation all those months ago she also had sensed this emotional disorder...the way he had just smirked at her in this...moment of weakness, as she called it, had actually scared her. By now, she knew that he was indeed able of having feelings, and she hated herself for leaving him alone with these feelings now.
To have a clean cut, she needed to get away. Next week, she would fly to England. For now, she would just try to sleep, she had a business meeting tomorrow.
But of course, she kept on reading Red's file when she woke up an hour later.
There were several notes about being violent towards suspects, a few complaints about sexual harassment, and some notes about disobedience to authorities. In fact, this made her smile, she already missed him. When she was in custody, she would have never complained about sexual harassment...actually, she had liked the way he had treated her during these seven days of interrogation...
xxxxx Flashback:
Red was upset when she wasn't there when he came home, but he wasn't worrying yet. He also didn't worry about her two days later; it was normal that Lizzie disappeared for two or three days without telling him where she would go and then showed up again as if nothing had happened. On the third evening, he feared something happened to her and began looking for the green bag he knew was her 'escape-bag' which she always took with her on her little trips. The days before, he had thought she would come back as usually, but this time, something was different. He was used to the fact that she sometimes turned off her phone on these trips, although he had told her a thousand times that he didn't like it when he couldn't reach her. When he realized that the bag was gone, the phone was turned off and all three of her guns were missing, he figured there was either business that couldn't wait or, he didn't want to think about it, she had left him.
He hadn't been able to sleep more than two hours, so he drove to the office the next day early in the morning to check something that had crossed his mind last night. She had always complained that he didn't talk much about himself and why he seemed so cold sometimes. Of course he knew that she was well aware of the fact that there was something wrong with him, but he had never told her. After he arrived at work, he immediately went to the department where the files were stored. Not to his surprise, his one was missing. He wasn't sure whether he should tell Cooper and the team that Elizabeth was missing, but he came to the conclusion that it was the only possible way to find her. If the whole task force was looking for her, it wouldn't be that easy to hide...and she would get a tracking chip when they had found her, anyway.
The fact that she had left him broke his heart, he was aware that it was certainly hurting her to leave him, too, so he started thinking about possible reasons to run off. Maybe she just wanted to be alone for a while...there was still a chance she would return...
An hour later, he told Cooper that Elizabeth was missing, and of course, he was mad at Red.
"Agent Reddington, I thought you had her under control."
"I do, Sir."
"No, you don't. Otherwise, we wouldn't be talking about her right now. Do you have any idea where she could be?"
"No, Sir."
That was an outright lie, he did have an idea, but he had no intention of telling anybody yet.
"Fine. We'll track her phone and do anything in our power to find her. As soon as she's here again, she will get a tracking devise."
Yeah, right. As if she would leave her phone on...
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The following days, they still had no idea where Elizabeth could be. Red knew she had a contact in Texas, who was extremely valuable if you needed to get away quickly, but when he arrived there, neither her contact nor she had been there...
His heart was slowly breaking, piece by piece. He had never thought she would leave him; he knew he should feel sadness or anger or...something, but in fact, he didn't feel anything. She was the only person in the world who could make him feel love and happiness, but it was already day six since Elizabeth had left and he still felt nothing, like he was empty.
Empty like the three bottles of scotch that were standing next to the couch.
Later that day, he lay in bed, staring at the cold pillow next to him. Only one week before, he had made love to her in this bed, he remembered how she had scratched over his back and bit into the pillow he was now hugging. He had never felt so weak, it almost disgusted him. He was supposed to be the strong, cold FBI agent who could get a confession out of most people in ten minutes, not some broken man who was hugging the pillow of a woman who broke his heart. He turned around, facing away from Elizabeth's pillow. He had to do something. He would find her. Not next month, not next week, no, tomorrow.
After seven hours of unsteady sleep, he went to the office.
Where would I go when I was her? A criminal? Far away, of course, probably another country...no, another continent. Very likely Europe. What languages does she speak? Let's start with English...yeah, she flew to England. Was she still here or already there? Nobody who wants to start a new life stays that long at the place he wants to leave. I'll tell Cooper where I believe she is and then I'll fly to London. She once told me she had never been there and always wanted to make a trip to London, so where else would she be now? I'm certain she has a safe house there, too. I already figured out she has more than she told me...that little minx lied to me. More than once. But I love her and I will burn the world down to find her, she knows that. She probably wants to be found...
Fortunately, Red could convince Cooper to fly alone without the rest of the team.
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During the flight, Red thought about what he should do when he found her.
He wanted to make her feel how disappointed, how upset he was about her. He wanted to punish her with coldness and ignorance for weeks, let her feel how he felt right now. He wanted to tell her off about her behavior, wanted to yell at her and make her cry. Most of all, he wanted to spank her so hard that it would really be a punishment and not the light spanking they sometimes did for fun and pleasure.
He also wanted to apologize for whatever he had done what made her run away. He wanted to hold her in his arms, comfort her, kiss her tears away and tell her how much he loved her.
Funny how a single week of being without her makes a cold bastard like me feel...
When the plane landed at the London Heathrow Airport, Red was still not sure how to handle her when he found her. In fact, he wanted to do all those things he had thought about earlier. Punish and comfort her, hate and love her, making her cry and then make her smile again.
God, what am I thinking? I could never hate my Lizzie, I can only hate myself. And why should I punish her and make her cry? She doesn't deserve that, it's most likely my fault she left. Actually, I understand her. Being watched and followed by the FBI all the time is certainly annoying...it will be even worse when she has that tracking chip...
Red walked to the 'Entrance/Exit' sign in the entrance hall of the airport and let his gaze wander. There, at terminal 3, he saw her; wrapped in a black coat and black jeans with black boots; trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. The dark green bag was what attracted his attention. He knew that bag, especially after turning the entire house upside down for finding it and then realizing it was gone.
Red walked casually to terminal 3, flashed his FBI badge to push to the front and before Elizabeth could realize what was happening, he grabbed her arms, twisted them behind her back and cuffed her hands.
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Elizabeth felt as if someone was watching her. She told herself not to be paranoid, but the moment she was standing in the row at terminal 3, she knew something was off. She turned around a few times, checking that there was nobody behind her that looked like a cop or another criminal, but then told herself to stop being nervous and to act normal. She didn't want to draw anybody's attention to herself.
She had been this paranoid all week, she never knew whom she could trust, but nevertheless, she had enjoyed her week in New York. Finally feeling free again without a group of cops in civil clothes hiding behind a tree and watching her. She had gone shopping with a fake credit card, had had a few business meetings which hadn't exactly ended well for some of her business partners, had gotten terribly drunk at the bar four nights in a row to swallow her sadness about having to leave Red and had then had meaningless one night stands.
Right now, she was standing in the row at the terminal. She had planned on flying from New York to London and then stay there for a few weeks, but somehow, she had decided to fly to Spain. She needed a warmer climate, something that felt like vacation. She had enough money to travel wherever she wanted to, so why not see the world? A voice at the back of her head told her that she shouldn't see the world alone, she needed a man by her side. Not any man, she needed Red.
Damn it, I can't have him! What the hell am I thinking? I left him!
Elizabeth was trying everything to forget Red, although she knew it was wrong to forget the love of her life. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to disappear forever, actually, she would come back to him if he ever found her. Maybe she would come back on her own some day.
She stood at the top of the line at terminal 3 to Madrid and couldn't help feeling that she was being watched. She imagined to feel Red's presence, she always could sense it, but no, that couldn't be. He couldn't have found her so quickly. She had arrived in London only this morning, how could he possibly know she was here? Then she remembered it: she had once told him she always wanted to travel to England...damn, hopefully he wasn't here right now.
Better don't turn around, keep looking to the ground, you're pretty much at the front, just keep calm.
The feeling didn't go away, it was like he was coming closer, but it was absolutely impossible he was here. In case he was, she continued trying to appear normal.
She had completely hit rock bottom last week in New York. Her last one night stand had been on Friday. That was everything she remembered of this night, because when she woke up the next day in the restroom of some crappy bar, she only knew that she had had a fight with the guy she had had sex with. It hadn't even been that good, just a short, hard fuck in a restroom cabin. She had been drunk, very drunk, and this guy had been high, but he reminded her a little of Red...
She felt like a slut for letting strangers fuck her...she needed a way to be done with her old life, so she distracted herself with this.
When they were done, the guy had wanted to take her home, but when she refused, he had beat her up and then left her lying on the floor. She remembered him cutting her with a glass sheet before punching her in the face and when she woke up and looked into the mirror, she discovered a small cut on her right cheek, a few inches under her eye. She had disinfected it with vodka and put a plaster on it.
She hadn't looked into a mirror since yesterday evening when she had brushed her teeth in the hotel she was staying in.
Just when Elizabeth wanted to take another step forward in the row at the terminal, two male, warm, strong arms suddenly twisted her arms behind her back and she felt cold metal close around her wrists.
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TBC
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