Here is Chapter 9. I really don't have much to say except... Well that's really is. So Enjoy!
The Man I Want to Be
Chris Young
Dimitri
I took a deep breath and gripped the handle of the church door, waiting for God to hit me with a bolt of lighting. I deserved it; I really did. But I'm going to make it up to both Him and Rose. I yanked the door open and stepped inside. No one was there but I still took cautious steps. Sliding in to the back row I sat down and stared into my hands for a while.
Finally I looked up and took another deep breath. Folding my hands together I looked up at the altar.
"I need one last chance," I started. "One last chance to make things right. I know I haven't been the best person. I left and I shouldn't have, but I did and I've regretted it everyday for five years. I don't deserve her back. I don't deserve anything but my own pain; but I fear that she might be suffering from the same pain. I want to be a better man and she's the only way I can do that. I'm here because I don't know what else to do. All I want is her back. All I need is her."
It's true. I've been an ass. And totally bind. Completely and totally bind to what I had to do to get Rose back. I had to fight for her. All I've done so far was plead with her then step back when she starts yelling. Well if I know Rose-and believe me, I know her better then any one-then the only reason she's yelling is because she doesn't want to hear what I'm saying. Because she's felling for me again. This is good news.
"I need your help. Even if she'll talk to me, I don't think she'll listen to me. I just I little help getting her to listen. Please, I want to be a better man. I want to be so much better. I need you to help her see that."
I started to stand up.
"Dimitri? What are you doing here?" I looked up and saw Father Andrew stand there smiling up at me the way he anyways did. He had ages five years but it was all the same.
"Oh, just… You know." I shrugged.
"I saw Rose in here a day or so ago in here. She said she was trying to convince herself not to do something. I fear her face was strains with tears and she seemed rather shaken. I sat down with her and told her whatever it was; it wasn't worth her life…" I started cracking up-I was bent over in laughter- and the father trailed off. He looked at me with a confused look. "What's so funny?"
Through my laughter I said, "Father, Rose wasn't talking about suicide. She was referring to a-well really-a five year curse on both of us. She was trying not to fell for me again. But you were right, it's not worth it. I'm not worth her. She deserves so much more then me." I sat back down as I realized what I was saying was true.
Father Andrew sat down beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. "The fact that you just admitted that, or said it, proves that you deserve her."
I looked up at him, I could tell my eyes were starting to tear up. "Really?"
Wow, you are should a girl. 'Really?' Wow! Of fucking course 'really'. What are you twelve? Don't answer that.
"Really." He stood up, "Now I want you to go and see her. God will answer your prays. I promise."
I nodded and opened the door. The sun was starting to rise and night was coming really soon. I strolled to Rose's apartment, not stopping when I realize I have to say something when I get there. I'll think and something. I always do.
I stopped at her door and held my fist in the air ready to knock when my heart told my mind to tell my hand. A second passed. Five seconds. Ten. Twenty. A minute. Then I just have to and I knock. Rose opens the door and she stares at me for a minute then starts to close the door.
I stick my hand in the way and think if she was smart she would break it. "Roza, wait. I need to say something. I'll just take a minute. Please, just let me in." I plead.
She sighs, "Fine, but just for a minute." She reopens the door and I step in. "What to you want Dimitri?"
"This," I said and I kissed her. To both our surprise she kissed back. But then she pulled away.
"No, Dimitri, I…"
"Please. A good-bye kiss?" I kissed her again.
"Are you leaving?" She asked in between breaths. I'm not really sure how to answer, I just stand there my lips inches from hers as she waited for an answer. Then she kissed me and said, "Don't leave. Don't leave me."
I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her tight against my body. "As you wish," I some how got out.
I really don't know why I have Dimitri say 'As you wish,' but it just seemed to fit.
Did you like it?
Umm, this seems to be a off chapter for me. I really have no questions for you guys. But you can still review.
Reveiw plzzz! 2 more chapters left!
