Just when you thought it was safe to visit Toran...! Chapter Nine: Crisis of Infinite Vikis!
Warrior's Village was not the same little burg that it had been during the Gate Rune War. Bolstered by the inter-region trade fostered under the Lepant Administration, the Village's tiny economy had started to boom. As merchants frequented the area more and more, the Village's traditions had attracted another sort of attention as well...
That's right, Warrior's Village had become Toran's hottest tourist destination.
To accommodate the increased scrutiny, Warrior's Village had expanded. New houses and cabins—all carefully remaining in the same style of straw thatch roofing—sprung up to the south, nearly doubling the size of the Village. Much of this new housing was temporary lodgings and small shopping arcades, along with the odd food vendor. In other words, everything a tourist could possibly need or want to be happy and content.
And the reason this was important at all was because Nash Latkje was standing in front of one of these breakfast vendors, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for breakfast. With little other to do, he half-eavesdropped on the main attraction on the green that morning: a pair of very unlikely lovers.
One of which—the hen-pecked male—was standing on one of several wooden posts on one leg, blindfolded. The female, meanwhile, jabbed at him with a padded stick. This of course looked even more ridiculous—sorry, charming and native—considering that she was wearing a bright yellow leather dress.
"Hix! Come on, focus! Your ceremony is tonight! Don't you want to prove yourself a man!" she prodded... literally.
"I'm trying, Tengaar!" the hen-pecked young man answered, struggling to keep his balance on the post while keeping his sword aloft.
"Well try harder," she yelled. "Gods, Hix, don't you want to marry me at all!?" she demanded.
"O-Of course I do!" he shouted earnestly, his voice cracking a little. "It's just... no one has done this part of the ceremony for years! I don't know why I have to be the one to—"
"Because I'm the elder's daughter, and if you want my hand you have to worka little harder!" she explained quickly, still lunging with the padded stick every couple of seconds. "That means whoever marries me is going to be chief some day, and you have to prove you're up to snuff!"
She narrowed her eyes. "...and also because your initiation is going to be the centerpiece of the festival this year, and we want to keep the tourists happy," she added in a slightly quieter voice.
"W-what!?" Hix asked, as he nearly lost his balance again.
"And because without this ceremony, any other old schlub in the village could end up getting a shot at marrying me! And you don't want that to happen, right?!" she challenged.
"O-Of course not!" Hix answered.
"Then get your act together! We've only got six hours to make sure you don't screw this up!"
Nash shook his head. And he thought Sierra was rough sometimes...
"Sir? Your order is ready."
"Yes, thank you," Nash answered, taking the bag from the friendly food stall vendor.
Leaving the bickering lovers behind, Nash quickly cut across the greens to one of the smaller rental cabins. As he entered, Sierra—reclined elegantly on the bed—cracked open one ruby eye. "Mmm, there you are..."
"I brought breakfast," Nash said, holding up the bag.
"You are, Mr. Latkje, rapidly earning your way back into my good graces," Sierra declared, leaning forward on the bed.
Nash didn't respond, instead just grinning. It was amazing what a romantic getaway (paid for in full by Sasarai, if he knew it or not) could do for a relationship. Although Nash wondered how many more day they could 'hide out' from the world in tiny little Warrior's Village before Sasarai send someone out to forcibly drag him back to Crystal Valley, he decided not to think about it. Besides, his after action report to Sas on 'Operation: Dragon Grass' (sent via Dominguez, as usual) had made some reference to 'bad weather' in Toran, so...
"So, I have to know, Nashy dear: how did you manage to get out of Seek Valley on your own?"
"Actually," Nash began as he began pulling items from the bag, "I ended up flagging down the same dragon knight who was ferrying me in with the blacksmiths in the first place."
"And the blacksmiths?" she pressed, "Weren't they surprised when their apprentice never caught up with them?"
"Handled it with a letter," Nash answered, as he laid out the breakfeststuffs on a tray.
"Oh, you're going to have to be a bit more specific than that," she scolded.
Nash bobbed his head, as he sat down on the bed, setting the tray down. "Fair enough. As far as the blacksmiths know," Nash began, "Clo Arash, apprentice blacksmith, was unable to track down his hammer after losing it. Feeling dishonored and unworthy to train with the other masters because of that, Clo vowed to go off on a blacksmithing journey to redeem himself." He frowned as he realized he had left the blueberry jam on the counter. He moved to retrieve it.
"Hmm," Sierra started, considering, "that would be a moving story if any of it were true."
"Wouldn't it just?" Nash agreed, setting the jam on the tray. "I like to imagine it ends with Clo moving to Zelant and eventually crafting a brilliant new type of armor that wins him fame, riches, and busty servant girls."
Sierra favored Nash with a flat stare. "Watch it, mister," she warned, as she moved to sit on the side of the bed.
Nash broke into a suave grin, as he (somewhat) stealthily edged up behind Sierra, nuzzling her neck. "Oh, don't be jealous. You know that you're all the woman I need."
For once, Sierra seemed to be responding positively to Nash taking the initiative. "And I suppose you say that to all your conquests...?" she asked only half seriously.
"You know it," he teased back, as he wrapped his arms around her...
Only to stop shock still as a strange 'bamfing' noise reverberated through the straw hut, followed quickly by a whistling noise. An icy certainty had gripped his heart. Oh no, oh please no...
When Nash didn't go back to the pleasurable things he had been previously doing, Sierra frowned. "Nash? What's wrong?" She glanced up at the ceiling. "And what is that noise?" Her nosed crinkled. "Is it getting louder?"
This only confirmed Nash's fears. "I know that sound," he answered in defeat, his face buried into one of his gloved hands.
Seconds later the straw roof caved in on the two of them as a free-falling Viki shaped object slammed home.
OOO
"Hix! Get over here!" Tengaar yelled, racing over to the disaster site.
"T-Tengaar!" Hix whined, immediately losing his balance and landing with a thump on the grass.
With shocking speed, Tengaar sped across the greens to the cottage that was suddenly a mess of flying straw, dust, and groans. "What's going on!?" Tengaar demanded, as she slammed open the door to the cottage, still somehow ridiculously still standing even as the rest of the cottage (built on the cheap, under her orders of course) sagged to oblivion.
"It's... complicated?" Nash offered quickly, still trying to pull himself free of the wreckage.
"Tengaar?" Hix inquired, as he crossed the threshold.
"Who are you people?" Tengaar fired off next, not stopping for a moment to offer to help any of the three people currently struggling to extract themselves from the giant pile of straw and other debris.
"Who are you?" Sierra countered, apparently less than pleased with the way the morning had been panning out—Tengaar's unwelcome intrusion becoming her anger's focus thanks to immediacy. It took her a second a second before recognition dawned. "Wait, aren't you—Tengaar, right?" she asked, her memory of her days in the Orange Army slowly starting to work again. As an aside to herself... "Finally made it back to Warrior's Village, did you?"
"Miss Sierra!?" Hix asked, having missed that aside.
"Is this blueberry jam?" Viki asked, from somewhere near the bottom of the pile, holding up a remnant from Nash and Sierra's breakfast.
"Ah!" Nash exclaimed, as Viki—jam covered piece of toast in hand—suddenly popped out from under a bundle of straw. "Oh, Viki," he began, "Whatever are you doing around here?" he asked in a less than convincing tone.
"Nashy?" Viki asked, looking up at him. "It is you, isn't it!? Nashy!" she exclaimed, hurling herself around of the debris and wrapping her arms around his neck.
"Nashy?" Sierra asked sharply, eyebrow arched.
"Hey!" Tengaar broke back in. "I asked you a question! Or did you forget!?"
"Would you believe that everything is under control? And that you should feel free to go on your way?" Nash asked, trying to minimize the damage of Viki's untimely arrival... and also the potential for ensuing hijinx. If I can just get her away from everybody, maybe I can...
"Then why did the roof of this cottage cave in?" Tengaar pressed.
"Er..." and here Nash paused for a second. "Spontaneous roof collapse?" he offered.
"You can't be serious," Tengaar deadpanned, looking a little sulky, "and you can't honestly think I'd believe that straw roofs cave in all by themselves, can you?" Her expression shifted. "...no matter how cheaply we built the cottage to save money..."
"Huh?" Hix asked. "What was that last part you mentioned, Tengaar?"
"S-straw?!" Viki asked suddenly.
The tone in her voice was instantly familiar to Nash. "Oh no!" he shouted. He immediately set about to try and dig himself and Viki out of the mess and get her away from what was a very common allergen...
Too late.
ACHOO
OOO
Prince Freyjadour Falenas, Commander of the Queen's Knights, had a harried look on his face as he quietly (but quickly) strode through the halls of the Sun Palace. It was obvious that he was looking for something—someone?—as he did so, only briefly returning the nods of the Palace guards as he hurried along.
As the Prince came around to a balcony overlooking the palace's central courtyard, his eyes alighted upon his intended target.
Out in the fading light, in the courtyard, Deputy Commander Lyon was still putting another batch of Falenan Army trainees through their paces. "Again!" she shouted, as they lunged with practice spears.
"Hooah!" the replied in unison... only to all suddenly stiffen and immediately offer identical salutes.
Lyon frowned at the sudden displace. "What are you...?" she asked, turning. P-Prince!" she exclaimed, surprised. He had seemed to come out of nowhere!
He offered an abashed look—he hadn't meant to sneak up on her after all, but she had gotten so in to the training session it was impossible not to!—before gesturing up to the sky. It was well into the evening (the sun painting the sky a reddish-orange), and Lyon had been working on various duties since before dawn.
"I know it's late," Lyon began, "But the second trainee batch is due in a few moments, and I..."
The prince's folded arms and generally stern expression stopped her protests cold. "And you keep telling me I'm working too hard..." she finished lamely. The prince nodded, sagely, once, before gesturing that she should follow him. Lyon sighed. "Yes, Commander..." Lyon answered, sulkily. She turned to one of her lieutenants. "Meri, take over for the next trainee batch.
The female army officer nodded before saluting. "Ma'am."
Prince Freyjadour and Lyon began to walk back towards the palace proper... but Lyon stopped and turned back. "And Meri, make sure the trainees are familiar with the second and third degree hand to hand techniques!" A few more steps, then, "And it wouldn't hurt to have them review unit tactics before they start field maneuvers next week!" Another few steps, and, "And don't forget to try the new spear drill set!" This time, only one step before, "Oh, and—!"
But she was cut off, as the prince retraced his steps, gently (but forcefully) took the hand of his bodyguard, and firmly led her away.
The Prince led Lyon to the 'Knight's conference room. As the door opened... "Prince!" Lyon exclaimed, "Did you do this just for me!?"
The prince's smile only grew in size, and he nodded. The room's conference table was set with a veritable feast of Lyon's favorite foods. Leaving the stunned Lyon at the doorway for the moment, the Prince walked over to the table, lit the two candles there, and pulled free one of the chairs, gesturing for Lyon to sit down.
"Oh, Prince," Lyon said, as she sat and took a closer look at the food. "You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble just for me!"
And as he sat down next to her, he only smiled back, and—
BAMF
There were suddenly 250 more people in the room than there had been a second ago. The prince stared at the newcomers in surprise. His surprise only doubled as he realized that whoever they were, they were in the midst of a very loud argument.
"I want an explanation right now!" The woman in the yellow leather dress was shouting at the man with the wavy hair and rakish scarf. "Who the hell are you!? And why the hell do we keep popping in and out everywhere!?"
"T-Tengaar, please!" the hen-pecked young man in a bandana said, trying to soothe the firecracker.
(Lyon immediately went for her weapon, the switch-blade like sword already free and gleaming in the soft candlelight.
"Prince?" she asked tensely.
He waved a hand, telling her to hold off for the moment on attacking. No telling who these visitors were anyway... Best to take a wait and see approach for the moment...)
"Hix, either we start getting answers now, or we're never going to make it back in time for the ceremony! And then we can never get married!" Her expression shifted. "...also we'll lose the deposit the tourists made for tonight's show..." she added softly.
"W-wait, what was that last part!?" Hix asked.
At this Nash finally noticed the prince and his bodyguard. "Great, you've upset the locals." He held up a hand in greeting. "Uh... Hello there!" he called, sounding uncomfortable. He eyed his surroundings. "Where are we? Falena? Great." He scratched the back of his head. "Listen, we'll be out of your hair here in a minute, folks. Sorry for the inconvenience."
(Lyon and the prince exchanged looks. After a long moment, the prince nodded towards Nash, and lifted a hand in acknowledgement.)
"Hey, focus, suave boy!" Tengaar snapped angrily.
"I'd watch the names, if I were you," the icy woman in white and blue (with the most piercing ruby eyes the prince had ever seen!) suddenly suggested, her arms folded ominously.
"Hey, Sierra, Tengaar—play nice in front of company," Nash warned, casting another apprehensive look at their 'audience.'
But the two ignored Nash entirely, and the continued to glare at one another. It had taken only a second, but from that point forward, Tengaar and Sierra were bound to be enemies. They narrowed their eyes, and it honestly felt as if the room has suddenly grown several degrees colder. Apparently, being old comrades doesn't count for nearly as much when the name calling of Significant Others is involved.
"Okay," Nash began, cutting in over the sound of their new found mutual disdain, "Look, this is Viki," he began slowly, grabbing Viki bodily by the head and shoulders, and placing her squarely between himself and Tengaar.
"Hi Tengaar!" Viki said cheerily, offering a small wave. "It's been a long time!"
"Hi Viki," Tengaar said, absently waving back even as her eyes never left Nash.
(Lyon leaned over to the Prince. "Is that our Viki?" she asked. "She looks a bit... younger than I remember." The prince only shrugged, although he agreed with her assessment.)
"And sometimes, Viki gets a little touch of the allergies, and that causes all sorts of problems with her blinking rune, and anybody with the misfortune to be near her."
Tengaar's expression turned defiant. Er... defiant-er. "What, you expect me to believe that whenever Viki sneezes, her blinking rune grabs up anyone around her and sends them on an exciting journey to Timbuktu and beyond!?" she shouted, incredulous.
"Actually," Hix volunteered nervously, "back when I was trying to save you from Neclord with General McDohl's help, that happened to us once. We ended up all the way in Seika, and—"
"No.No, Hix," Tengaar interrupted. "I refuse to believe that a simple sneeze can—"
ACHOO
They had all vanished in an instant, before the unbelieving eyes of the prince and Lyon. Lyon slowly sank back into her chair.
"What... What just happened?" she asked numbly.
The prince stared at the spot where the visitors had been for a moment longer. Then he decidedly turned his attention back to the food set out before them.
"But... but shouldn't we tell someone?" Lyon asked, still visibly disturbed. The prince shook his head no. Lyon blanched. "I guess you're right... Who'd believe us, anyway?"
She sighed. "So, what do you want to start with first?" she asked.
And Prince just smiled, before handing Lyon the pot stickers.
OOO
"This... could be worse," Nash said, sounding surprisingly relieved at the altogether mundane looking bar. Behind him, one of the few mostly sober bar patrons stared at in slack-jawed terror at the quintet that magically appeared in the middle of the raucous and crowded. No one else seemed to notice—the rest of the bar was having far too good a time butchering the lyrics to several classic bar ballads.
"Speak for yourself," Tengaar protested, looking incredibly cross with her arms folded. The cause for her irritation was obvious: one of the drunks, in his good cheer, had spilled
"Hey, thurr, babe, haven't seen you 'round here 'afore," the same drunk leered, craning his head over to get a better look at Tengaar.
Within seconds, he was far too close for comfort. Tengaar's features screwed up, and she stamped her foot. "Hix!" she shouted immediately.
"I-I'm a l-little b-b-busy, Tengaar!" Hix answered, having been caught up in an impromptu dancing line weeding its way through the outside of the bar.
Tengaar scowled. "Fine!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up into the air. "I'll handle it myself!" Seconds later, she slammed an elbow in to the drunk (who seemed to be only moments away from becoming 'grabby'). The drunk sank down to his knees, before curling up on the ground. "That's more like it..." she asserted firmly. Seconds later, she determinedly marched across the bar to retrieve poor, dancing Hix.
Nash watched this exchange with a shake of his head. And then he became painfully aware of his own missing other half. She was right next to me a minute ago...
As if on cue, a white bat suddenly flew in through one of the bar's open windows. "There you are..." Nash said, taking a seat next to the stunned drunk, as the bat fluttered across from him. Then the white bat suddenly turned into a beautiful and pale young woman—the drunk rubbed his eyes in disbelief. "I was wondering where you got off to," Nash continued.
The woman tossed her hair easily, and settled back into a chair. "Gathering intelligence," she answered. "You said that was the first thing you tried to do with every new place the last time Viki dragged you through a mess like this..."
Nash's eyebrow arched. "Gathering intel? You hardly needed to take a spin around outside in bat form to do that. See, here, look." He leaned over to a neighboring table, and clapped one of the drunks there on the shoulder. "Hey buddy!" Nash asked, assuming a slight slur to emulate the rest of the crowd. "Where are we?"
The drunk at the other table's gaze slowly wandered over to Nash. "We're in the finest little bar in Kanakan! The Drunken Lobster! Hurrah!" he finished happily, raising his mug.
"Hurrah!" Nash repeated, raising his fist even if he didn't have a mug. "See?" he asked, turning back to Sierra.
"Fine," Sierra began icily. "If you must know, I hate bars." She folded her arms.
"That's a terrible attitude to have!" Nash declared. "Bars are the greatest!" he continued. To punctuate the moment, a fistfight broke out on the other side of the room. Nash folded his arms. "Although... Maybe we should start thinking about an exit strategy..."
To that end, Nash began to scan the bar for any sign of Viki. He smirked when he finally spotted her. "Come on, Viki, time to start thinking up new and exciting ways of getting you to sneeze...!" Nash exclaimed, rising form his seat and grabbing Viki out from under the table where she had 'landed.'
"Where are we?" Viki asked, sounding lost and distracted.
"Kanakan," Nash answered automatically.
"A bar," Sierra added, disdainfully.
"A bar?" Viki asked, her eyes wide. "Oh, good. I'm really thirsty." Before Nash could stop her, she hurried over to the bartender. "May I have some water, Mr. Bartender?" she asked politely.
Before the bartender could respond, one of the other patrons wobbled over to Viki. "Here ya go, girlie! Try some of this!" the drunk enjoined.
"Gee, thanks!" Viki exclaimed, taking the goblet eagerly and downing it in one shot.
"Wait, Viki! Don't just—" Nash began, obviously too late.
HICCUP
The one man who noticed this all shook his head, swore never to drink again, and ran screaming from the bar.
OOO
"Why is it so dark...?" Nash wondered aloud. He waved his hand but inches from his face, but could see nothing.
"Bah," Sierra said, sounding irritated. "Just when I think this journey cannot get any more absurd...!" Nash imagined her folding her arms and looking aggrieved.
"I think I'm going to have to agree with bloodsucker over there," Tengaar added bitterly. "Gah!" she suddenly shouted.
"Tengaar!" Hix asked, his voice overflowing with concern but also (in a rare display) resolve. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine..." she started, the confusion clear in her voice. "I just set my hand in... a cake?" she asked.
"Cake!?" Viki exclaimed. "I love cake!"
But before Viki could work her way over and sample some of that cake...
"What's that noise!" a booming voice suddenly demanded.
"W-who said that!?" Hix asked, alarmed. (His previous concern/resolve for Tengaar melting ever so slightly...)
"Chef Kai! Raise the curtain!" the booming voice demanded.
And suddenly there was light and the party could see again. They were arrayed around a pedestal, on which a number of exquisite food dishes (including a very rich looking cake, into which Tengaar and strayed into) were placed. A number of chefs stared at them silently, a very large man in black at their head. As for the rest of the suddenly visible room: They were in a... kitchen. No, a stadium. No, some sort of odd hybrid of kitchen and stadium... And that could only mean...
Nash groaned, his palm smacking into his forehead. ""Aw, Black Dragon Island!?" Nash exclaimed. "Of all the terrible places to end up..."
"Interlopers!" Jinkai—the large chef dressed in black—shouted, thrusting a finger out at the party. "How dare you trespass on sacred Black Dragon Island!"
Sierra folded her arms. "Seems like he hasn't changed much..."
Tengaar nodded, flicking away the frosting still on her fingers. "As high strung as ever..."
When the quintet made no move to flee from Jinkai and his culinary disciples, Jinkai's eyes narrowed. Apparently very sensitive to being ignored, he balled up his fists and turning to his battery of chefs. "Don't just stand there! GET THEM!" he howled.
The chefs exchanged confused looks before, as one, they slowly—and this can't be emphasized enough, slowly—began to move forward. Jinkai's indoctrination of his personal culinary 'army' was apparently not as air tight as he liked to believe.
"I think we overstayed our welcome a little bit..." Nash supposed. He started ushering his group towards what looked to be a far exit. "Maybe we should start to take our leave..."
"Wait, Black Dragon Island?" Hix asked, as he was being ushered along by Nash. "Wasn't Hai Yo from there?" he asked.
"Who?" Nash said.
Hix got his answer, though not from the source he had been expecting... "Hai Yo!?" Jinkai demanded from behind them. "Hai Yo!? That miserable thief! When I find him, I'll drag the Blue Moon Bird out of his detestable corpse!"
"Wait, what?" Tengaar said, pausing in mid-withdrawal. "You battled Hai Yo. You lost!"
"WHAT!?" Jinkai demanded, enraged. He slammed one of his mighty boots down, rattling the entire room. "I'd never lose to a low born pathetic commoner cook like him!"
Nash shook his head, grabbing Tengaar's hand and dragging her along with him. "Try not to think about it too much!" he explained. "But sometimes Viki's blinking rune causes leaps in time as well as space..."
"It screws with time, too!?" she demanded.
"Well, yes," Nash answered, rather matter-of-factly, "Now, come on, we're almost out of here..."
"Actually, Nash, I hate to have to tell you, but your escape plan just hit a snag," Sierra—who was far ahead the rest of the party—said, staring at the far exit that was their goal... and the massive group of black-clad chefs pouring in through it.
This group of chefs was far more loyal to Jinkai—it was obvious by their matching black uniforms. Jinkai looked relieved as they arrived. "Quickly!" he shouted, "Get the interlopers!"
And then everything just descended into bedlam.
The party had been scattered—a few minutes later, that was all Nash could be completely sure of. Between the black-clad chefs (frenzied in their efforts to subdue Nash and his comrades), the white-clad chefs (running around in general confusion) and Jinkai (stomping around the room and enjoining everyone to keep after the interlopers), Nash found it difficult to find his allies.
Ducking past a confused looking saucier, Nash dashed towards the stadium seating on the far side of the room. Dashing up the steps, he turned to take in the wild bedlam raging the width of the stadium.
Tengaar and Hix were pinned down fairly close to the far exit. Tengaar was grabbing and tossing vegetables of all types while Hix kept the chefs away with his sword. Actually, while Nash watched, Hix was busy struggling to use his Tengaar+ to disarm a group of chefs all armed with a variety of cutting implements.
Sierra, meanwhile, was easily dodging everything the chefs could throw at her (literally in some cases) with either her far superior reflexes or, in extreme cases, simply fading into mist.
Viki meanwhile...
"Aw, hell..." Nash muttered, taking off at a sprint immediately down the stadium seating steps, picking his way past chefs who had been following him.
On the way down, the first inklings of a new plan began to form. He cupped his hands. "Grab some of the pepper!" he shouted over at Hix and Tengaar, even as he ducked his head under a wildly swung pot lid.
"What!?" Tengaar shouted back over the din.
"The pepper! Grab some pepper!" Nash repeated, exasperated.
Tengaar apparently finally got the idea, and with a comforting clap to Hix's back, hurtled a table and scrambled to a massive spice rack on the far wall. Of course, she did this muttering all the while. "Crazy guy with a scarf, thinking he's in charge..."
Okay, there's stage one, he thought, as his boots cleared the stadium seating and he charged back into the general bedlam on the stadium floor.
"Viki!" he called, as he finally 'fought' his way to Viki (being antagonized by a pair of rookie sous chefs armed with ladles).
"Nashy!" Viki called—relieved—as Nash scattered the souschefs by threatening them with a freshly cut onion.
"Come on!" Nash said gallantly, holding out a hand to Viki. Viki responded by leaping into Nash's arms. "...Not... what I was expecting..." Nash said, struggling over the new sudden load in his arms.
Carrying Viki like a new bride, Nash began the long trek back to where Tengaar and Hix were. He would have looked almost heroic as he did so, if not for the absurd and near-food fight breaking out around him.
Unfortunately, Nash and Viki didn't make it very far before they were quickly surrounded on all sides by black-clad chefs. "Sierra! Clear a path!" he called.
"If I must..." she answered, sounding pained. Turning to mist again, she swished over to Nash's side. Once there she raised one hand, and the Blue Moon Rune began to shine. It was enough to stop the chefs in their tracks—the sheer feeling of force from a true rune has that effect. "Quickly, now," she said.
Hustling, Nash, Sierra, and Viki dashed across the room. Once within a stone's throw, Nash set Viki down. "Tengaar! Pepper!" Nash shouted, clapping his hands and making a catching motion.
Tengaar—finally seeing where Nash was going with this—did as she was bade. Nash took the pepper shaker, twisted the top, and turned to Viki, and—
ACHOO
OOO
The Holly Master roared, riling its two vine arms wildly. "GRAAAH! Fear the great and terrible power of the holly!"
"Oh no!" Belle cried out, "Who will save me!?" she shrieked, clutching her mallet to her chest.
And then suddenly, there was a flash, and an innocuous looking barrel rolled, as if from nowhere, between the girl and the terrible beast.
"COUNTER MEASURES INITIATED," said the barrel, in a monotone voice.
"What devilry is this!?" demanded the Holly Master, trashing in confusion. "A barrel dares challenge the great and terrible Holly Master!?"
"NOT JUST A BARREL," the barrel said. Suddenly, there was a flash, and the barrel transformed into a mighty, clockwork barrel warrior!
Belle gasped. "It's Gadget Z!" she called out, relieved.
"GADGET Z, DEFENDER OF THE CHILDREN!" Gadget Z declared confidently, striking an heroic pose.
"Go get him, Gadget Z!" Belle shouted in encouragement.
The Holly Master roared. "Puny barrel warriors do not scare me! Come, break your wooden fists on my mighty hide!"
Several of Gadget Z's gears began to spin in overdrive. "GADGET Z, GO!"
The two titans charged forward at one another and—!
"You can't be serious," Sierra said flatly, watching the entire battle with a disgusted look on her face.
"Well, it could be worse," Nash answered. "This one time Viki managed to get us stuck in a warren of flying squirrels." Nash's expression deflated. "Thank heavens Viki's allergic to squirrel fur, otherwise the gods only know how long we would have been trapped in there..." He glanced over to Viki. "Right, Viki?" he asked.
Viki, however, was far too enamored with the titanic struggle between the Holly Master and Gadget Z. "Go get 'em, Gadget Z!" she shouted in encouragement.
Nash sighed. "Will someone please use the pepper already?" he asked, exasperatedly.
"Got it..." Tengaar answered dourly.
ACHOO
OOO
Tir McDohl, former boy general and current cursed rune bearer, slowly trudged down a steep, snow covered ravine. He was flanked by two others: a man with a cross hatch scar and heavy green cloak, and a petite ninja with raven dark hair and swathed in winter whites.
As the three neared the bottom of the ravine, Tir held up a hand and the three paused to rest. For a moment, the boy general glanced back at his two companions, and he knew that they'd both follow him to the ends of the earth. For another moment more, Tir closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel the warmth of their affection...
It was enough to propel him onward through the snow. He waved back to encourage them, before he threw himself against the sharp incline of the other side of the valley. They had a mission to do, after all.
The snow was deep. It reached up easily to his thighs.
At this time of year, in this place, there would be few others around. In fact, Tir wouldn't have been surprised if he, Gremio, and Kasumi were the only three people for hundreds of miles around.
But they had to persevere. They had to press onward, for beyond this mountain range, they'd find—
"Lord McDohl!" someone shouted. "It's your Viki!" the voice finished as she waved emphatically.
Tir, Gremio, and Kasumi stared up along the ridge in confusion. A few dozen feet above them, at the top of a sheer, ice covered cliff, stood Viki, waving down at them. Behind her, at least four other people stared down as well, all looking profoundly confused (and cold!).
"Young Master," Gremio began hesitantly, "Am I seeing things?"
"... I don't know..." Tir glanced over at Kasumi. "Kasumi?"
"I see it too, Lord McDohl," she answered, before rubbing her eyes again.
Tir nodded. He was silent, watching the strangers for a few moments more. Well, actually, now that he took a closer look, he actually recognized a few of them. All except the man with the scarf in front... Why, he looked almost Harmonian, but what he was doing out here in the middle of nowhere was—
"That's enough of that," Nash muttered, bringing the pepper shaker up to bear.
ACHOO
Tir, Gremio, and Kasumi exchanged looks. After a moment, Tir folded his arms. "We... should keep going..." With that, Tir began the trek again, Gremio and Kasumi right behind him. (Of course, the trio's mission—and if they managed to succeed—are a tale for another day.)
OOO
And then Nash found himself in the place he had hoped to never see again: the Sajah Rune Shop. "Oh no..." he began, suddenly reaching for the pepper. "Where's the pepper!?" he whispered to Sierra.
"It looks," she began, eyeing the shaker critically, "as if we're out."
At this, Jeane finally looked up. "Oh-ho-ho-ho... Hello again..." Jeane greeted breathily.
"What are you wearing?" Tengaar asked, honestly appalled.
"Or not wearing..." Sierra added, casting another critical eye over Jeane's outfit.
"It's an old classic, you know..." Jeane added demurely. "It was all the rage in the Island Nations... 100 years ago... Oh-ho-ho-ho..."
She then took a few steps towards Nash. "Good to see you again..." she murmured. "Care to finish our... transaction?" she inquired.
For a moment, Nash felt the same mysterious aura washing off from her as he always did. Then, at the last moment, he felt the sure, trusting (if piercing) gaze of Sierra on his back. "Ah, no, I'm all set, thanks!" He took a big step back, placing Sierra between him and Jeane. "She handles all the rune stuff for us."
"Hello again," Sierra said icily.
Jeane seemed to get the message. "Oh, how unfortunate..." Jeane said, adopting a pout... right until she noticed Hix standing awkwardly off to one side, turning bright red as he struggled not to look at the... revealing outfit Jeane was wearing.
"And how about you, big boy?" Jeane asked, poking Hix lightly. "Would you like a rune?" she asked.
"I-I-I—" Hix stammered.
"Notgoing to happen," Tengaar said dangerously, grabbing Hix by the scruff. "So don't even think about it." She continued to glare at Jeane, even as she dragged Hix over to next to Sierra and Nash.
Their menfolk sheltered for the moment behind them, Sierra and Tengaar exchanged glances... and for a moment, there was a clear understanding between the two of them.
At any rate, that meant only Viki was left standing near Jeane. Viki, who for her part was admiring the number of runes along the racks and apparently just not noticing the tense standoff happening behind her.
Jeane trailed over to Viki. "Lost again, are we?" Jeane asked of Viki, apparently quickly surmising her situation.
"Well..." Viki answered noncommittally.
Jeane sighed, before taking Viki's right hand. "Here..." she began, tracing esoteric shapes just above Viki's rune. "This should help you out a bit. Free of charge." She winked. "Us enigmas have to stick together," she added.
"Thanks, Je—" Viki began, only to be cut off as her blinking run started to gleam.
BAMF
"Oh well..." Jeane said into the quiet of her shop, "maybe I'll have a sale tomorrow!"
OOO
For the moment, there was no pressing issues around them—just lots of odd scenery. It was a room (?), with walls painted (??) with images of outdoor scenery at dusk (??), all with a checkerboard pattern (??) for a floor. Oh, and a bench. And a potted plant. Further more, there was no telling where the soft light suffusing the room was coming from... even if it was both warm and comforting.
Obviously, it was the right time to start getting some answers.
"You got us into this mess, and now you need to get us out of it!" Tengaar declared, ramming her points home with two sharp jabs of her finger.
"Hey," Nash protested, "I tried to get you and your boyfriend—"
"Fiancée!" Tengaar corrected.
Nash nodded. "I tried to get you and your fiancée to steer clear of Viki, but you wouldn't listen!"
"Well..." Tengaar began, only to stop, apparently stymied. She tapped her foot, apparently noticing the strange surroundings for the first time. "Fine!" she finished instead. She folded her arms. "Fine, whatever. Just get us home, please." Her expression of worry seemed sincere. "I just want to get back, so Hix and I can finally get the ceremony behind us, and start planning our wedding..." she finished, sounding very tired.
At this Hix grabbed her hand, rubbing it in an effort to comfort her. "Well, Mr. Nash?" he asked. "Is there anyway you can get us back to Warrior's Village?"
Nash folded his arms, examining his surroundings carefully. "Maybe. This place looks sort of familiar from the first time Viki took me on one of these crazy trips..."
He turned to Viki. "Hey, Viki, where are we?" he asked, in a guarded tone.
Viki looked a little bit frazzled and dazed (her blinking rune going off so many times in quick succession was a very draining experience) slowly turned to him. "Oh, uh, I think Jeane helped send me home."
Nash nodded, as if he had expected exactly that. "That's what I thought..." To the others he said, "Follow me," before quickly marching over to what looked like a door (delightfully painting like the trunk of a tree!).
The quintet burst into the next room. It was painted in a similar outdoor motif, only it was obviously styled after a dark night. Nash frowned. "That... doesn't look right..." He turned, returned to the sunset room, crossed it to another door, and walked through, the rest of his group following behind.
Blue skies greeted them on the other side. "There, that looks better," Nash said.
"Now what?" Tengaar asked.
"Uh... we wait?" Nash offered. "I don't know. The last time I was here, we ran into a..." his faced scrunched up for a moment, "well, I guess I'd call her a smaller Viki, and I think can—"
"—send us home!?" Nash (?) declared, as he led Meg, Millie, and Viki (!?) in the opposite door.
For a long moment, the two Nashes just stared at one another across the room. "How—" they began in stereo, only to stop, stymied. "What—" they began again. They both folded their arms.
Sierra slipped next to her Nash. "Why are there two of you?" she asked, frowning at the other Nash—henceforth dubbed Alternate Nash (who, for his part, seemed shocked at seeing the lady vampire who had abandoned him... with him... or, Nash. Or... whatever).
"I'm not sure," Nash answered. "I don't remember this from the first time..."
Millie looked down at Bonaparte, who looked back up in confusion. "Are you seeing two Nashes?" she asked. She and Bonaparte scratched their heads in confusion in stereo. "That shouldn't have happened..."
"And I thought one Nash was a handful..." Meg added helpfully.
Glaring for a moment at Meg, Alternate Nash turned his attention back to Nash. "Okay, buddy, what's going on here?" Alternate Nash asked, taking a half step forward. It was hard not to notice how his gaze kept flicking to Sierra.
Before Nash could respond, the Vikis of both parties noticed each other. Giggling, the two ran forward. "It's like a mirror!" the two Vikis declared happily as they mimed with one another.
Alternate Nash blinked twice. Meg patted him on the shoulder. "Well,it's not all bad, is it?"
Millie brightened. "Yeah! It'll be like having a brother, right?"
Alternate Nash groaned, burying his face into one of his gloved hands.
Regular Nash folded his arms. "This is really troubling, though," he began. "Because if that's my past me, I should remember all this... right?"
Sierra looked troubled. "Well, as intriguing an idea it is to have two of you," and here she paused to smile impishly as Nash sent her a dirty look, "we probably should try resolve this before things get any more out of hand..."
No sooner had Sierra said that, than a third door burst open and another Viki stumbled into the room, followed shortly by what appeared at first glance to be a miniaturized version of... herself.
The two Nashes glanced at the newly arrived Vikis, then at the Vikis from before (still marveling at their faux-mirror), and then finally at each other. It was finally just too much for either to take. "That's it!" Nash and Alternate Nash shouted at about the same time, "I'm done!" they both declared in stereo, before stalking off in opposite directions.
And as Nash whipped open the first door he reached, everything turned to white, and—
OOO
"Excellent job on that ceremony, Hix!" Zoltan shouted heartily, clapping Hix—miraculously perched on the post still—sprawling.
"C-ceremony?" Hix wondered aloud. He scanned the crowd, eyes alighting on Tengaar. She wore her ceremonial dress—pure white, like her wedding dress would be—and a confused expression to match Hix's.
"Yes, ceremony!" Zoltan enjoined, clapping Hix on the shoulder on his shoulder again even though Hix was still on the ground. "It was a masterful performance—even better than the one I gave when I wooed Tengaar's mother. Why, I was so nervous and shaking so badly that I could barely keep my blade still. And it was so cold that night, why I—"
"I finished the ceremony?" Hix asked numbly, thankfully cutting Zoltan's long winded story short.
"Hix!" Tengaar called, dashing from the crowd and dropping to her knees to attend to her beloved. "Are you okay?"
"I-I'm fine..." Hix answered, a little surprised himself.
She hugged him fiercely, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I'm so glad you did it!" she enjoined enthusiastically. Her expression turned slightly befuddled after a moment. "...I wish I could have been around to see it, but I'm so proud of you!"
Zoltan then extended a hand and helped Hix to his feet. Once standing, Zoltan raised Hix and Tengaar's hands in victory, before placing their hand atop one another and stepping back, while the crowd of warriors and tourists broke into raucous cheers.
And that moment would stay with the two of them forever, even if neither Hix nor Tengaar could never quite remember how exactly he had pulled it off.
OOO
At approximately the same time, practically on the other side of the world, Nash and Sierra both woke up with a start. They were shocked to find themselves fully dressed, in their bed, in the Circle Palace.
"How—?" began Sierra, before he broke off. It was clear by Nash's confused expression, he had no better idea of what had happened than she had.
After a moment, Nash coughed uncomfortably. "Well, uh... I guess that takes care of that." He then laid back down.
"What do you mean, that takes care of that?" Sierra demanded, fists balled up and slamming fiercely into the sheets. "None of that made any sense!" she shouted. "And how did we end up back home without—"
Nash held up a hand. "Sierra, seriously. I've been through this before. It's best if you just stop thinking about it."
And somewhere, someone sneezed.
