EPISODE NINE: TRAGEDY STRIKES

It was the first day of the new year, and the town of Mineral had not quite recovered from the death of one of their youngsters, Rick. Even worse now, his mother, Lillia, had fallen very ill over the whole ordeal. Popuri was also in ill spirits, and had decided once and for all that she would leave the village and marry her new boyfriend, Kai, in the very near future.

Jack II was happy as a clam. Things between him and Karen were finally starting to become great, and Jill was spending most of her time playing in the snow. Today, however, the snow had disappeared and a new chapter in their lives was about to begin.

Sadly, the able villagers made their way to the peak of Mother's Hill to try and celebrate the coming of the new year and promote the hope that they were so lacking in such dire times.

"Dear citizens," the mayor began to speak. "Today, we are faced with the sad task of moving on from some very sad events that we have had to endure recently. I understand that this year marks many coming changes for all of us, and we are soon to lose some more young ones. Popuri, Kai, we wish you both the best wherever it is that you will be going, and we will take good care of your poor sick mother in the meantime. Jack has been doing a wonderful job with the farm, and we should all be expecting that it will be upgraded very soon,"

Jack II gulped at this remark, unable to think of anything to say as everyone stared at him curiously.

"It is time to forget our sorrows and look to the future, for this will be the best year in the history of Mineral town, mark my words!"

The villagers clapped, unable to cheer as they had in other years for they were all too sad at this time.

"Jack, where is your sister?" Karen whispered.

"Ya know, I really don't know! And that can only mean she's getting into trouble," Jack II now looked angry and suspicious.

"Meeting adjourned," the mayor walked down to meet with his family and talk with concerned citizens.

"Perhaps we should go look for her, she seemed excited when she heard about the new years festival… it is odd that she would not show up at all," Karen grabbed Jack II's hand and pulled him through the crowd.

Just then, the two noticed one of the younger children laughing amongst the others kids like a madman, and decided to go see what was so funny.

"What are you so happy about?" Karen asked.

"Haha," Stu continued to laugh. "I told Jill that there's a weed outside of town that would cure Lillia, and she went to go find it!"

"Is there one?" Jack II asked stupidly.

"Hahaha, of course not! I can't believe how dumb yer family can be!" Stu laughed harshy.

"Oh, no, Jack! She could be out there for days… knowing her," Karen was a little too concerned, because Jack II had no intention of finding her.

Karen pulled him along once again, but on their way out Jack II slipped Stu a couple of gold coins for a job well done.

Intermission

Jill bounced along her merry little way, never even stopping to think that she may be getting lost in the wilderness beyond Mineral Town. Forgotten was her mission to save Lillia with the magical herb, instead she would jump and sing and dance all day until she got tired. This usually took a very long time.

"Hello, squirrel," Jill greeted a small and furry animal. The creature looked up at her in surprise, frozen in place and cautious of the psychotic girl before him. "Hmm, not talking, eh? I don't think we should be friends at all," Jill rationalized in a threatening sort of manor. The squirrel ran off faster than Jill would have been able to chase.

"Hello, mr. rabbit," Jill met with another furry creature down the path. "Yer kinda funny lookin'," Jill mused. It was not a rabbit at all, it was a groundhog.

"I thought you were supposed to have long ears, you're deformed," the girl was disgusted with this rabbit's unique structure.

"Hello, mr. ugly chipmunk," Jill continued.

"I'm a frog, you moron!" the frog piped angrily.

"You're a chipmunk!" Jill argued, not even questioning the fact that she was now talking to an animal.

"Are chipmunks green? Are they hairless and slimy? I didn't think so!" the frog glared at her with a 'know-it-all' posture.

"Frogs don't talk!" Jill leaned forward to stomp on the little bigmouth.

"Ah!" the frog just barely hopped out of the way in time to avoid a messy death.

"Hahaha, I'm gonna get you!" Jill was extremely amused by this game.

"Stop it! You already killed me once!"

"If I killed you already…" Jill reasoned, "I would already be bored."

"Grr! You just won't rest, will you?!" the frog jumped out of the way once more.

"Not until I catch you and yer squished beneath my shoe!"

"Help!" the creature cried.

"Wait a minute…" Jill stopped in her tracks. "Frogs DON'T talk… then… why are you…" she thought hard, "green?"

The frog was considerably unamused by this display of unintelligible thought, "You mean why am I talking?"

"No, why are YOU talking?"

"That's what I said,"

Jill tried yet again to stomp him to death.

"Okay! OKAY! You win!" The frog announced. "God, what a pain in the ass,"

"(Gasp) you said ass!"

"Butt, rump, bottom,"

"Who's butt rump bottom?"

"Mine!"

"Who is mine?"

"Shut up!" the frog yelled. "You are a pain in MY ass!"

"And who are you?" Jill was still very confused.

"Rick! The guy you killed!" the frog (Rick) bounced u and down angrily.

Jill stood staring at him silently for a moment before answering, "No, you're definitely a frog. That man had four eyes, and I'm pretty sure he was a little taller."

"I died and came back as this disgusting creature, you maniac! The harvest goddess said I was 'unfit' to go to heaven until I have some sort of revelation or something."

"…You're boring, can I squash you?" Jill asked stupidly.

"No!"

"Please? Pretty please?"

"I don't care how beautiful your pleas to crush me are, I will not stand for it!"

"You won't be standing when you're stuck to my shoe," Jill added hopefully.

"Jill, you CANNOT CRUSH ME!"

"I could, I could, I sooo could!" Jill complained. "Watch I'll even show you!"

"No! I believe you, but please, don't!" Rick hopped backward a couple times.

"Why are you here?"

"I have come to stop you from finding a cure for my mother. At least if she dies, I won't be alone anymore," Rick said sadly.

Jill laughed at this cruelly, "People die and go to heaven,"

"I didn't!" Rick yelled. "…I didn't…" he bent his form low and began to think about his situation again. "She'd be allowed in to heaven, what am I going to do?"

"I know what you can do!" Jill said excitedly.

"I'm not going to be crushed by you," he reminded her.

"Hmm…. 'kay."

"But maybe, if I help you find a cure for her, the goddess will see my good deed and allow me to go to heaven!" Rick was happy again as he made this assumption.

"Deedeedeedeedeedeedeedeedeedee,"

"Shut up!" Rick yelled at her. "I'm trying to concentrate! An idiot like you wouldn't be able to find the magic herb we're looking for, so I have to be the brains of the operation."

"We're going in to surgery? If yer gonna be the brain, can I be the doctor?"

"No, you can carry me around in your weak little hands like a good girl," Rick instructed.

"Right, we need to find the hospital first."

Intermission

"Where could she be?" Karen was getting tired of walking.

"I don't know, maybe this is for the best?" Jack II suggested.

"Jack! She's your sister!"

"Only by blood, and can be fixed with a little transfusion,"

The two ventured further into the wilderness in pursuit of Jill as the sun began to sink lower in the sky above.

"I was thinking, what if there really is an herb that can cure Lillia somewhere out here?" Karen asked.

"How would we know, even if we saw it there's no telling what plant does what," Jack II explained.

"That's true, I guess it was just wishful thinking. Maybe if we really believe it though, it'll come true?"

Jack II liked this idea. Stepping closer to her and holding her gently by the waist, he whispered, "Karen?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Jill's dead, lets go home."

"How am I supposed to tell which of these damned herbs does what?" Rick raged in the middle of Jill's open palm.

"Maybe we should eat them." Jill suggested patiently.

"Neither of us are sick, how will we know if it's working or not?" Rick pointed out her stupidity.

"I'm not sick, but you don't look so good," Jill said in all truthfulness.

"For the last time, I was turned into a frog!" Rick could not take much more of this.

"I wanna be turned into a ladybug!" Jill cheered as she threw Rick up in the air, letting him fall harshly to the ground on his feet.

"I'd eat you,"

"Noooo! I'll stomp on you!" Jill warned.

Rick shut up for the time being and examined the herbs.

"Let's take a sample of each, maybe the doctor will know which one is the magical healing herb," Rick then ordered Jill to take some of each herb and stuff it all in her pocket. She began to pick them all just as Jack II and Jill came waltzing up the path.

"Jill, we were worried sick!" Karen ran to the girl and hugged her tightly. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Eating yucky plants," Jill stuffed her face full of the samples she had just taken.

"Okay, now can we go home?" Jack II pouted.

"Ah, my arch nemesis has returned!" Rick hissed from the ground.

"What was that?" Jack II looked around.

Squish

"I win!" Jill celebrated as she looked at the dead frog on her shoe.

"I could have sworn I just heard…" Karen stopped herself.

"It was just a frog, he's gone now. I protected you," Jill smiled in triumph.

"Oh, you are just the most darling thing," Karen hugged her again. "I hate those wretched creatures, loud and ugly."

"Kinda like Rick was," Jack II laughed.

Karen shot him an evil look, "Might I remind you, I'm still grieving over that whole mess, thank you!"

"Too soon? Sorry," Jack II was embarrassed and ashamed.

My big brother's really smart, Jill thought to herself, knowing that he was indeed 100 correct on that point. Karen must have been just jealous of his fast array of knowledge.

Intermission

"Killed twice by the same little girl? You are an embarrassment, Rick!" The harvest goddess laughed.

"Aw, c'mon! I tried to save my mom, I really did!" the spirit of Rick complained in the netherworld.

"Tch, not really a selfless act. I knew about your plans to stop Jill from saving her!"

"I had… a change of heart. A revelation!" Rick thought he was so sly.

"Oh, did you?" the harvest goddess was not believing this for a second. "I'm pretty sure that was just so you could get in to heaven. Rick, you weren't even worthy of a frog's life, you only lasted 2 days in that body. I'll give you another chance, but this time I'm going to have to reincarnate you as something even more grotesque,"

"…Dare I ask?"

Jack II woke up with a stir, he had only been asleep for an hour.

"Jill?"

"What?"

"What are you doing up so late? Go to bed!"

"I can't sleep," Jill replied.

"Why not?"

"You pile of dirty underwear won't stop talking."

Spring the 1st, Year 2.

Today, Karen and I spent the whole day searching for Jill in the forests outside of town. What a pain!

Dae 1, Munth1, Yeer 2.

2dae I met a bunee with no eers, a sqerl that duznt tok enuf and a chipmok that toks 2 much. I kild him. Tomoro imm guna hav an argument with the londry.

THE END

(The next episode will be very special. It will be the first two-part arc of the series and I think fans will come to appreciate it as the best part of HMTV2! And I promise, no Rick this time.)