All the soldiers say

"It'll be alright,

We may make it through the war

If we make it through the night."

...

Gail did pick Holly up at seven. Everything went according to plan. The closer they got to the Penny though, the more Holly could feel Gail tense up. The first indication was the insane amount of smalltalk Gail indulged in on the drive there. Gail was definitely not a smalltalk person. But they had already covered the weather, the illogicality of the traffic light system (Gail had to stop at every single traffic light), the pros and cons of Thai vs. Indian curry, and the question whether combining beer with tequila or whiskey really made a worse hangover than just sticking to one sort of drink. It was quite the opposite of their usual, quiet car-rides. The second indication was Gail's fidgeting. Whether she was drumming her fingers on the steering wheel to the rhythm of her constant talking, or tapping her foot, or running her hands through her hair, she was obviously anxious and restless. Then, when they finally reached the parking lot at the Penny, Gail suddenly fell completely silent. She parked the car and released a deep breath before getting out and walking towards the entrance, Holly walking about two steps behind her. She noticed how Gail was tied up in knots, her shoulders hunched, taking deep breaths as if doing one of those breathing exercises they teach pregnant women.

Holly grabbed Gail's wrist softly, making her stop and turn around. She cocked her head so as to catch Gail's gaze.

"Gail. You don't have to do this. We can still go home. Or I can go home. I don't want you to start hyperventilating or anything."

Oh God, that smile...

"No. No, I want to do this. I really do. I'm just afraid of what you will think. And of what they will think."

Holly couldn't help but feel a little hurt at that last comment.

"What they will think about me? Or about us? What do you mean?"

Gail was surprised that her statement could be misunderstood by Holly.

"No." she said, shaking her head in disbelief. "I usually don't admit it, but my friends, especially Traci and some very few others, are actually good people. I'm sure you'll like them. And you are just great and amazing, so obviously, they are going to love you. And to be honest, I really don't care all too much what they think about us, but I know that Steve and Traci are all happy about it." She scrunched up her face and rolled her eyes at the 'happy' part.

"I'm afraid what you will think about me. And what they will think about me. You know... with them I'm not usually as... relaxed and easy-going as I am with you."

Holly couldn't help but cock an eyebrow and snort sarcastically, but Gail chose to ignore it.

"And I'm kind of afraid of you seeing more of that sarcastic bitch side of me and dreading it. Or. They could see the nice and happy side of me that comes out with you and think I've gone soft, and they will expect me to act all girly and talk about my feelings in the future. Yuck! Plus, I am really not very much into PDA, I never have been, and I don't want you to think that that's because of you. Also, I will probably drink a lot because I am a little nervous, and..."

Gail was starting to ramble. And as cute as that was, Holly needed to make her stop obsessing about it. She pulled her into a hug.

"Shhhh. Shut up. I already told you, I find that sarcastic bitch kind of charming, and I really wouldn't worry too much about disclosing too much of 'easy-going and happy' Gail."

She released her from the embrace and gave her her signature smile. She once more took Gail's hand and placed a kiss on the back of it.

"Nothing will go wrong. Everything's going to be fine. Let's just have a nice evening."

She let go of her hand and took a step back, pointedly giving Gail more space. Gail nodded.

"Ok. Thank you." She turned around and they kept walking towards the entrance.

They first made a stop at the bar to have a shot and each got a beer before joining Steve and Traci at their table.

"Steve, Traci, this is Holly, Holly, this is my brother Steve, and Traci, my frie.. his girlfriend."

Gail waved her hands back and forth awkwardly between Holly and the other two while making the introductions. Given that both Steve and Traci had met Holly through work, and Gail had even introduced Steve and Holly before, and adding Gail's nervous fidgeting, the whole situation had a comical side to it. The three 'strangers' exchanged smirks, while Gail buried her hands in her pockets.

"Hey, nice to... see you again." Holly broke the short silence.

"Yes, you too!"

"I'm glad that finally my selfish sister has decided to share you with us, I was beginning to think she was going to keep you all to herself forever!"

"Har har. Very funny!" Gail was still far from relaxed.

"How about some shots? Since I'm the new kid, the round's on me – I hear that's the polite thing to do..." Holly offered with a smirk. She wasn't particularly craving more shots, but she thought that Gail could use some Mexican support.

Steve gave her an approving thumbs-up and Holly left for the bar while Gail finally took a seat.

"What are you so nervous about? It's not like we're your parents! And you do realized we have all talked to Holly before right?" Traci was trying hard to suppress her grin. It was kind of fun to see Gail squirm like that.

"I don't know. I know I don't need to worry about her, she's great with people. And you are... well... the most bearable of my friends. But still, it's weird. I don't know. Don't you think it's weird?"

Gail was starting to ramble again, much to Steve and Traci's amusement, but was saved by Holly who put down 8 shots of tequila.

"Two rounds! She's a keeper!" Steve said, winking at Gail, who just stuck out her tongue in return.

They clinked their glasses and downed the first shot. The conversation was soon flowing and even Gail slowly but surely eased up. While Traci and Gail were making fun of weirdly dressed people at the Penny, Steve and Holly talked about the newest sports results. She then wanted to know all about Traci's son, whom Traci was always delighted to talk about, while Steve caught Gail up on the latest news of their parents. After a while the conversation turned to work. They talked about Holly's colleagues, the ones that were a pain in the ass to work with (from both Holly's and the cops' points of view) and those that were in fact alright (which were surprisingly little, according to Holly, which astonished Gail – Holly the misanthrope? That was a new side of her!). They then passed on to the people from 15th. Gail was happy to hear that Holly found McNally and Epstein 'somewhat overeager' – which was the polite way of saying they were slightly annoying – and exchanged knowing smiles with the rest of their group. After all they all knew what Holly meant by it. She said she liked working with Swarek. He was a bit unconventional at times and – like everyone – wanted quick answers, but he respected the process of getting there, as opposed to Callaghan, who was extremely pushy and would rather get half-truths now than proven facts later.

"So, who's your favorite from our division?" Steve asked, giving her his best puppy dog eyes, earning a laugh from Traci.

Gail noticed how Holly flinched for just a split second, her face getting all serious, her eyes quickly darting over to Traci in a pained look. Gail put her hand on Holly's leg, caressing it under the table. She knew the honest answer would be Jerry. Well, obviously, Gail was her favorite now, but since she wasn't a detective, she technically didn't really work with her – the officers were only sent over at times to watch the evidence and report any news back to the station without delay. Holly recovered herself quickly however and smirked.

"Well, obviously, I have to go with Peck!" Just as Steve was about to throw his arms up in the air in a gesture of victory he winked at him and added "Officer Peck, Detective!" The whole table burst out in laughter and even Gail chimed in after rolling her eyes first.

"What do you think about one last round? Shots and beer?" Everyone nodded, so Traci got up to head towards the bar. "Holly, you want to help me with the drinks? We should give these two a moment to thrash out the eternal sibling rivalry."

"Sure." Shit. Gail wasn't the only one to catch Holly's quick Jerry flashback.

The two women were standing at the now crowded bar, waiting to get the barkeeper's attention.

"He liked you a lot, you know?"

"Hm?"

"Jerry."

"Oh. Yeah, so did I. I'm really sorry about before, I didn't mean to... I'm sorry."

"It's ok. Don't worry about it. Actually, it is kind of comforting to know that others think about him in these small, seemingly inconspicuous moments, too. To see the effect he had on people. I sometimes feel like people look at me and think I've moved on way to soon. Like I just forgot all about him the moment Steve walked into my life. But I didn't. I think about him. All the time. But I can't bring him back, no matter how much I think about him and remember him. And Steve is a great guy. He really is."

"Hey. You shouldn't worry about what others think too much. You are here. You still have a life to live. So live it to the fullest. I don't think it's really my place to say this, but he really really loved you. The way he talked about you... He wanted nothing more than for you to be happy."

"I know. You know he was asking me whether I knew any lesbians to set you up with?"

"What?" Holly giggled.

"Yeah! But they had to be 'really gorgeous and uniquely awesome'. That's what he said. Had I known Gail could be persuaded this easily by you..." They were both laughing now. Suddenly Traci got all serious again.

"You know, I am fully aware that this will sound very very weird, and I hope you don't judge me for it. But I couldn't help but think... With your history with Jerry, Gail's history with him, him trying to set you up, me dating Gail's brother now and Gail dating you... everything... it kind of feels like things have... I don't know... come full circle? Do you know what I mean? Is it weird to think that?"

Holly was smiling warmly now. "I do know what you mean. I don't really know if it's weird though, I think I'm too drunk to make that kind of decision right now."

"Haha... Well, good to know. Listen. Holly. I know difficult doesn't even begin to describe the way Gail can be at times. But she also is uniquely awesome. She will run, and she will probably also shoot you down at times. And I suppose you have already been on the receiving end of that. But she really does like you. And she really is much happier and at peace since you came into her life. She may forget to remember or realize that at times. But you should remember. I know it's a lot to ask, but..."

"Traci" Holly put her hand on Traci's arm, stopping her. "I don't intend to be going anywhere. And I hope you know that you are very important to Gail too. And that you remember that for her when the time comes."

"I'll always have her back."

They clinked their beers and headed back to the table with the rest of the drinks.

"Finallyyyy! We were already thinking about filing a missing persons report!" Gail exclaimed.

"You mean a missing tequila report?" Holly retorted.

"No. I meant missing person!" She pulled Holly down to the seat next to her and pressed a kiss onto her cheek, lingering for a little longer than she had intended, breathing Holly in. Steve and Traci smiled at each other knowingly.

...

Holly hadn't heard Gail coming down the stairs. The blonde decided to stay there for a moment, on the last step, and take in the sight of Holly who was just cutting up fruits for breakfast. She was wearing dark blue shorts and a faded yellow t-shirt that was slightly see-through. Gail loved the way her shoulder blades were showing underneath the shirt, the way she knew how it would feel to touch her butt that the shorts swirled around. Her hair was high up in a careless bun, exposing the spot on her neck that Gail loved to kiss. She was mesmerized by the careful, deliberate way in which Holly moved her hands, and by the way different muscles flexed in her forearm while doing so.

God, Gail could just get lost in Holly. She could stand there watching her, thinking about her, picturing her, for hours and days on end.

Holly turned around. God, those eyes. The way she looked at her, always with such genuine care and affection, at other times with lust and desire, sometimes with melancholy or bewilderment. But always genuine.

And this smile. The smile that always melted her. That she often found confusing, because she just could not fathom how Holly could smile at her instead of shouting or taking off. The smile that could express and accomplish so many things.

"How long have you been standing there watching me?"

"Not long enough."

Gail smiled back at her. With her smile that was only reserved for Holly. The one that wasn't sarcastic or false, that wasn't smiled out of politeness or self-consciousness. The smile that was honest, sincere. Sincerely happy and amazed.

She walked over and hugged Holly from behind, sliding her hands over her waist and resting them on her stomach, pulling her close and kissing that spot on her neck.

"Good morning."

"Good morning."

"Thank you for coming last night."

"Thank you for taking me. It did mean a lot." She tilted her head back and pressed a few light kisses under Gail's ear.

...

Gail was relieved and surprised that the night at the Penny actually went so well. She knew that Holly would do well, she just didn't expect to feel so at ease herself. Sure, maybe the tequila helped a little there, but mostly it was just Holly's presence, the naturalness with which she carried herself, the soothing effect she had on Gail. After getting over her initial nervousness, Gail had increasingly felt the urge to touch Holly, to show everyone who cared to look that Holly was hers, and she was Holly's. She felt warmth spread through her stomach, her chest, her whole body – and no, that was definitely not the tequila. As she watched her interact with her brother and her best friend, watched her lips part and close, her hands move, gesturing while talking, as she watched her laugh, watched the way she gently maneuvered her way through the crowd, at all times very aware of Gail, how she was feeling, constantly checking in with her through a brief look her way, Gail felt immense pride that this amazing woman was there with her. She wanted to hold her tight and never let go, shower her with kisses, but her self-imposed straitjacket didn't allow any of that. At least she managed that kiss on the cheek. And that best part of it was, that she knew that Holly was able to really appreciate it, to grasp the true meaning of it, to realize that this was a huge deal for Gail.

In fact, the night at the Penny was a huge source of encouragement for Gail. A few days after, when they were riding together, she took Chris to spend his lunch break with her and Holly in Holly's office. On another night, she ordered Holly to the Penny again – to pick her up actually, but "while you're here anyway, you should come in and have a drink with us!" Us, that was Traci, Chris, and Oliver. She refrained from any displays of affection this time – though she was sure that Oliver had long caught on to what was going on, and if there should be anyone else to know about them, he would certainly be her first choice. She did trust him. But her small circle of chosen ones was enough to officially know for now. A couple of weeks after Holly's first trip to the Penny, Gail actually did it – she took Holly out for dinner. Federico's it was, candle-light, delicious food, shared desserts. Gail had never felt such anticipation as that night, when they got back to Holly's place, and she knew she was going to be able to peel Holly out of that gorgeous dress, to slowly expose her sexy lingerie, her soft, olive skin. She savored every moment of it. Her fingers still tingle at the memory of how she slowly unzipped Holly's dress, and how her fingers traveled down her spine, inch by inch taking in the freshly exposed stretches of skin. Her body still trembled at the memory of what was to follow.