Author's Note: This chapter of "Mad Musical Melodies" is dedicated to my pro-Stayne friend KatherineNotGreat :) I'll admit, I am not usually a fan of Stayne, but when I heard this song, I immediately thought of Stayne and his relationship with Iracebeth. Since I don't usually write Stayne's character, I'm not entirely sure that I captured it correctly, but I hope this story will do him justice. Please R&R and enjoy! (Oh, and in case you haven't figured it out by now...Alice in Wonderland does NOT belong to me, and neither does David Archuleta's song "Stomping the Roses".)
Stomping the Roses
Wasting time
Just going mindless
Watching your charades
Ilosovic Stayne was growing tired of being the Red Queen's pawn…Well, technically he was a knave, but lately he had felt more like a pawn. He was certainly being used like one. One would think that with a head as large as hers she would be intelligent enough to notice that the visiting "Um from Umbridge" bore a strikingly similar resemblance to Alice Kingsleigh…He shook his head. Why on earth was he working for a woman who was so dense?
So you can be the king, he reminded himself. When Alice and the White Queen have been stopped, she will make me her king, and I will rule all of Underland!
No, you idiot! She will not make you king! She wants to be the sole ruler of Underland! Why do you think she got rid of the last king? It wasn't just because he fancied Mirana…She just needed an excuse.
Then I shall kill her and make myself king!
You do remember what happened to the last person who tried to take her crown, don't you?
He rubbed a gloved hand over his throat nervously. He certainly did not want to end up as another one of the heads floating in the moat around the castle, but it seemed such a fate was inevitable if either he tried to escape or attempted a mutiny.
So he was stuck, it seemed. Doomed to live out the rest of his life at her beck and call.
"STAAAAAAAYNE!"
He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, as if he felt a headache coming on…a very noisy, ill-tempered, queen of a headache…
He sighed. "What did I do this time…?"
When you were younger
Did it occur to you
Ten years from then
You'd act the same age?
When he really thought about it, Iracebeth was quite childish and immature. He had known the royal sisters since they were quite young, being the son of one of the castle servants, and though Mirana had grown up to be an even-tempered, smart woman with a good head on her shoulders, Iracebeth still acted like a spoiled little rich child. If she wanted it, she got it…If you displeased her, well…
"OFF WITH HER HEAD!"
Honestly, did that woman know how to say anything else?
And all of this fight over a silly crown? It seemed ridiculous! Of course, he would love to call the crown his own – who wouldn't? – but to constantly whine and complain that the crown was rightfully hers because she was the eldest when the girls' parents had chosen Mirana? It was like she was a five year-old who refused to share her toys.
And then, when Alice had escaped…she slapped him! Of all the nerve! Granted, she had escaped on the Bandersnatch…with the Vorporal Sword…But at this point, he really didn't care who won or lost. He just hated being caught up in the middle of a war that was not his own.
I cannot carry on this way,
Although I've carried all your every little thing
Carry me away
He was going to have to find some way to get rid of that queen or get out from under her rule, at the very least! She was driving him insane, and the last thing he needed was to be accused of being mad like a certain annoying Hatter. But he was sick and tired of giving his everything to a woman who did not care about him in the least…In fact, he was beginning to think that working under Mirana might not be such a bad idea…At least then, if he messed up, the worst he would get would be the dungeons or exile…Anything was better than this…
Did you feel like stomping the roses?
Smashing out all the feeling inside them
It's bad business
The way you're stomping the roses
The knave remembered several years ago when Alice had first come to Underland. Iracebeth, then known as "The Queen of Hearts," a sort of second-in-command to Queen Mirana, had been furious to find that her gardeners had planted white roses instead of red ones in the garden. Once again, she had thrown her little tantrum and promised that heads would roll. And when she found out that instead of replacing the offending white roses, the cards had simply painted over them, she was absolutely furious! She went through the garden with the raging fury of a hurricane, stomping the roses left and right, crushing their delicate petals and snapping their slender thorned bodies like they were no more than ordinary twigs. That was the point when Stayne first began to realize that something was terribly wrong…
I was flippin' channels on my television
And it made me feel unwell
One of those complicated soap operas
I almost felt like I was watching myself
As a member of the court, Stayne had been privileged enough to see several plays throughout his life, a luxury that most could not afford. But lately, all of the plays that came to the theater at Salazen Grum seemed familiar, as if he had seen them before…or as if, perhaps, he himself had experienced what the characters were going through…As he watched the complicated love stories play out, he noticed one single familiar thread…The ending of all the great classics is never a happy one…and someone usually dies…[1]
I cannot carry on this way,
Although I've carried all your every little thing
Carry me away
That someone, the knave decided, would NOT be him! There had to be a way out! There just had to be!
Did you feel like stomping the roses?
Smashing out all the feeling inside them
It's bad business
The way you're stomping the roses
Everyone knows it
At one point in time, he had actually had feelings for Iracebeth…back before she was the Red Queen…before she was so vicious…But of course, she had been married, so it was out of the question. And even had she not belonged to another man, he was but a lowly knave. The chance of royalty marrying a servant was not likely.
She had used him. She had given him kisses and favors behind the king's back. She had told him that she loved him and would marry him one day after she was rid of the king, and he had believed her…He had believed every word of it…but the king had been dead for several years now, and where was her promise?
She had used him before, and she was still using him! He was a puppet, a marionette, and she was the puppeteer. He was the instrument that played whatever song she desired and then was dashed to the ground when she was the cause of a foul note. He was the horse, and she was the charioteer, cracking her whip over his head. He did all the dirty work like wreaking havoc on Horvendush Day and stealing the Oraculum while she sat upon her throne and did nothing but plot revenge against a sister who did not wish to fight. He was just as much a prisoner as those in the dungeons awaiting their turn at the chopping block…The only difference was that his prison didn't have bars…Just like the roses, he had been stepped on, bruised, and broken by this horrible tyrant. No more!
I know I know I know I know it's over
and I know I know I know I've
Always been your token nice guy
You know that you rule your whole world
And thought I could live in it
But I just can't..
He would NOT spend another day used and abused by such a selfish, stubborn woman. He would NOT answer to her every call. And he most certainly would NOT take the blame for any more of the Red Queen's actions. He was finished with her once and for all…If the White Queen had Alice as her Champion and the Vorporal Sword in hand, their Jabberwocky didn't stand a chance. He wouldn't even have to lift a finger in battle if he was lucky…The Champions would be the only ones to fight if everything went as planned, so he could simply stand by the Red Queen's side and not fight, then when red fell to white, he could turn himself over to Mirana and escape from the evils of Salazen Grum.
You know you're stomping the roses
Smashing out all the feeling inside them
It's bad business
The way you're stomping the roses
Everyone knows it
"Where's your Champion, sister?" Iracebeth taunted.
"Here." And there was Alice, the same little girl who had stood up to the Queen of Hearts when she was only six to defend the knave in court when he had been accused of stealing tarts, now a woman who had tricked the Red Queen, scorned the advances of a potentially dangerous knave, and tamed a Bandersnatch all within a few days. And here she was, ready to face the Jabberwocky without a single trace of fear…He had to admit, though he somewhat disliked her for refusing him, he could not help but admire her.
"Hello, Um." Was she taunting Alice, or was she actually dumb enough to believe that Alice and "Um" were two different people? He wouldn't put it past her…
Stomping the roses
Smashing out all the feeling inside them
It's bad business
The way you're stomping the roses
Shoot. There wasn't supposed to be an interference! That had not been part of Stayne's original plan, and now he was at a loss for what to do. He contemplated running her through right then and there, but one look from Iracebeth was all it took for him to know that he would be the one with a million of the card soldiers' spears sticking out of him if he did anything wrong. Reluctantly, he drew his sword. He hesitated, his sword in the air, ready and poised for an unwilling duel to the death.
Stayne had never been fond of the Hatter – he was too colorful, too mad, too irritating…But he had nothing against him personally, save the fact that Alice preferred the Hatter's company instead of his. But the Hatter had plenty of reason to dislike the knave – he was responsible for the death of his entire clan and had attempted to steal Alice's heart in a most inappropriate manner.
The moment he saw the fire flash in the Hatter's eyes, he knew that he was a goner. Not that he didn't deserve it…but he was a little frightened. Not so much of death itself but what lay beyond…His soul definitely had quite a few marks on them, most of which, he regretted…If he lived through this, he would change his ways…
The Hatter's sword was at his throat, and he thrust his hands up in defeat. So this was what it was like staring down death…This was what it felt like to be the one who was awaiting the chopping block…It was rather fitting, he thought, that he would fall at the hands of the one whose family he had taken…For that, he was truly sorry…He waited for the killing blow, for the cold steel to slide across his throat. But it never came.
Curiouser and curioser. He looked up to see that Alice had defeated the Jabberwocky, its head rolling down the steps of the ruins like a child's ball.
The Hatter, having regained his senses, realized that they had won…There was no need for further death. The Red Queen had caused enough of that. He looked at the sword, then at Stayne, then at the sword again before tossing the weapon to the ground as though it had done something offensive and backing away.
Stayne scrambled to his feet and nodded gratefully at his former enemy…and was then chained to his newest enemy and former employer, Iracebeth of Crims.
He made one last attempt at freedom, lifting a dagger above her head, but before he could bring it down, he felt a stabbing pain in his wrist and looked to see the Hatter, slightly smirking at the situation as if to say, "I let you live, but you won't get off that easy."
At that point, he became desperate. He begged for his own death, but of course, it went against the White Queen's vows, and it would be a far greater punishment to spend the rest of his life with her. He couldn't say that Mirana had been unfair…but oh, what a mess he had gotten himself into!
Now he was quite literally stuck with the woman he most despised until one of them died or went insane…Great…Just great…
"STAAAAYNE!" she screeched.
Stayne rolled his eyes and sighed. This was going to be a very long punishment…
Ooooh...
Stomping.. oh stomping yeah..
Oh oh hoo yeah
Take it easy, Yeah
[1] Okay, am I the only one who has noticed this? We always used to joke about the quite obvious lack of happy endings in all of the "classic" literature in Honors/AP English class, so this is a shout-out to all my fellow students who suffered through and survived AP English Not that the classics aren't good…They're just…not my style.
