Hello everyone! I have a feeling this is the chapter a lot of you have been waiting for :p Hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading!
I haven't had the best luck during most of my time here so far in the 104th cadets corps, but for once things are finally going my way. We just got told that we have the whole day off! It's for one of those stupid holidays that are no longer relevant within the walls but are still held over from the old days of humanity. I forget which one it is this time, but I've been told that the holiday that takes place in the fall season has much to do with food. Sounds good to me.
Everyone is abuzz with excitement as we leave morning formation, free to do whatever we please for the remainder of the day. I glance over at Marco who is laughing at Sasha's over-the-top excitement for the supposed "feast" tonight we're being served. Tearing my eyes away from his smile, I remember the half-conscious promise I made to myself last night to talk to him about our stalemate of sorts today. As of right now I have no clue how to bring it up, but at least I have the whole day free now to figure it out.
"So what are our plans for the day Jean?" Marco asks happily, trotting over and coming to a halt beside me. While I'm flattered that he's assuming we'll be spending it together, I don't know what to say. I want to do something that will get the two of us away from everyone else so that we can talk in private, but I haven't a clue as to what that would be. And I don't want to just come out and ask if we can go somewhere alone.
"I don't know." I answer, mentally punching myself in the head for being so stupid and lame and every other derogatory name I can think to call myself.
"Hmm…How about we go to the fields? It might be the last time we get to see grass like that for a while with winter almost here." Marco suggests. God, sometimes I could just hug him. It's as if he read my mind and simply came up with an answer for me.
"Sounds perfect." I reply, falling into line with him as we begin to leave the formation lot and continue to the far side of the base. The nearest field has tall grass, and is used for stealth exercises sometimes. We don't use it very often though, because only those who are crazy enough to join the Survey Corps would ever need to be able to sneak around undetected in grass like that.
When we finally get there, Marco pulls ahead, smiling widely as the grass reaches up his legs. The field is a bright green under the cloudless sky, contrasting with the pale green of his shirt. He laughs heartily, beckoning for me to join him. I trudge through the tall tendrils slowly, unable to help but chuckle at him. When's the last time I saw him this excited? Then I really chuckle, realizing that it was probably last night when we finally got dinner after the whole day of cutting wood. I can't blame him though. It's not clear enough for me to remember for sure, but I may have knocked someone down trying to get to the food. All of us were starving.
Coming back to the present, I follow Marco through the field to the one solitary tree that marks the center. Once we get to it, we sit comfortably against it, taking cover from the bright sun under the shade of its leaves. For a while, we just talk about trivial things, whether it's complaints about the events yesterday and about the food we're forced to eat, or our excitements about one day joining the military police. However, eventually we fall quiet, simply staring out over the beautiful field.
I'm not a very calm guy usually, but I feel extremely placid right now. I'm simply sitting and enjoying the peacefulness, comforted by the dark-haired boy next to me. Nobody is around to bother us. Nobody is around to bother us.
Suddenly a bundle of nerves blossoms in my abdomen, yelling at me to speak up. Now's the time. There will be no better place to bring it up than right here, right now. I swallow and lean forward, my chin resting on one knee.
"Hey Marco," I start. He turns to me, his usual smile upon his face. Marco is sitting cross-legged, his back against the bark of the tree. "Can I ask you something?" I continue.
"Yeah, what is it?" He answers curiously. I don't even know how to phrase it.
"Shit, I don't even know how to ask it." I begin, running a hand through my hair. His smile falters slightly, but it's still there. "Do you…dammit. Am I…ugh." I mutter, feeling myself becoming increasingly embarrassed. I'm not good at all with stuff like this. At least he's still smiling though, even if it's a small one. "What's going on, like between us?" I finally manage. At that, his smile disappears completely. Marco stares at me expressionlessly for a few moments and then leans his head back against the tree. After exhaling heavily, he answers.
"I don't know Jean. You tell me." He says, sounding just as confused as I feel.
"What do you mean "you tell me?" You're the one who said you meant to come on to me in the gear shed!" I retort.
"You're the one having sexual dreams about me." He reminds me. I blush uncontrollably at that, frowning at him angrily.
"I never told you it was sexual!" I cry out in defensive protest.
"Oh, so it was then?" He replies with a smirk.
"Shut the fuck up." I mumble, turning my head away from him.
"And the truth comes out! Care to share details?" Marco asks, nudging my arm slightly. I turn my whole body so that my back is to him.
"I said shut the fuck up. Forget it." I mutter. Marco quiets down after that, and we sit in silence for a few moments. Then he speaks up.
"Hey Jean, I was just messing with you. I didn't mean to embarrass you." I hear him say behind me. I don't respond, being my always stubborn self. I can't help it sometimes. There is silence for quite a while again, and my resolve is beginning to fade. How long can I force myself not to look at his handsome face? Just as I'm about to turn around and apologize for once again overreacting, he breaks the silence another time.
"You're right, I was totally coming on to you in the gear shed. I didn't mean to. I just can't always control myself around you. And I'm flattered that you'd have dreams like that about me. I don't really care if it's weird…and okay, maybe I meant to embarrass you a little bit, but it's just because you act so cute when I mess with you. I didn't want to get you angry. " Marco admits. I turn my head to look at him, and he's blushing like crazy, looking down at the grass and fiddling with a single stem. Then he focuses his eyes on me.
"I really like you." He finally says. I feel my throat go dry at the sound of his words. As they register in my head, I feel heat flood my face.
"I real…" I croak out. My throat is too dry to talk. I really do suck at stuff like this. What a loser.
"What was that?" Marco asks, shifting closer to me. I swallow, trying to remedy my inability to speak.
"I really like you too." I eventually manage to say, looking right into his eyes. They crinkle as his smile returns, his red cheeks deepening another shade or two if that's even possible. The pit of nervousness in my stomach is so severe I can feel myself almost trembling.
"I'm glad to hear that." He answers. I turn my body back around so that I'm not breaking my neck to look at him any longer. We sit there facing each other, awkwardly looking at one another unsure of what to do next. He eventually breaks our gaze, looking down at the ground. Picking another grass stem, he plays with it nervously between his fingers.
My eyes trail down to his mouth, which is set in a firm line. I can tell he's really nervous, but he still looks so unbelievably adorable. In fact, he may look even a bit more adorable than usual. I scoot a bit closer to him, making him flinch and look back up at me, dropping the blade of grass. Knowing him, he's way too scared to make a move right now, so I guess I'll do it.
I set a shaky hand on Marco's shoulder, trying hard not to chicken out and look away from his eyes. My heart is racing faster than any training has ever made it beat, and I'm more terrified than any titan could ever make me. However, I still force myself to lean toward him slowly, closing the distance between our faces. He peers at me through his big brown eyes, a look of both fear and curiosity on his face, most likely mirroring mine. At the last second, I let my eyes fall closed.
Then I kiss him.
I feel my whole body fluttering strangely as my lips press gently against Marco's. They're so soft, like the kind words that always seem to be rolling off his tongue. A shot of adrenaline shoots through my veins as he begins to kiss me back. I feel his hand rest on my knee as he leans in closer to me. I grip his shoulder tighter, both too captivated and nervous to move any more than that.
We kiss for a few very long moments, and then unfortunately, finally part. Both of us smile at each other afterwards, and Marco lets out a small, awkward chuckle. I do the same, unable to believe that just happened, and that I liked it so much. We both lean back against the tree, returning to our original positions. I don't know exactly how long it takes for the redness in our faces to subside, but it takes quite a bit.
For once, I don't have any stupid or rude comments to sputter out, and I'm glad. I don't want to say anything that could ruin this moment with Marco. I look over at him and he's just looking up at the sky and smiling. I do the same thing, searching unsuccessfully for a single cloud up there. Today really is perfect. My eyes travel back down to him, and I survey his freckle-laden face. This boy next to me is the real reason today is so perfect.
