We are getting closer to the end... Next chapter will come ASAP, I promise. To make up for the gap between updates, I'll try to write longer chapters ! In exchange, how about some reviews ? They really keep me going.
Really, thanks to all those who take time to leave a few words after reading. Thanks for all the story alerts/favorites. It does mean a lot to me.
Once again, don't be confused by the shift of time. Satsu's POV is always in present tense/time.
"Satsu."
"Hey Ken. Is, hum, Willow here ?"
"Yes."
"Can I come in ?"
Kennedy sighs and reluctantly steps aside to let Satsu in. Apparently, she still hasn't forgiven the Japanese and still holds her responsible for Faith's departure and Buffy's suicide attempt. But Satsu shrugs it off, she knows Kennedy will come around soon. She can't stay mad forever.
"So, how's Buffy ?"
"I don't know, I haven't talked to her since our break-up."
"Your… what ?"
Satsu turns round to look at the other slayer and frowns.
"Our break-up. We're… not together anymore."
"Wow, slow down. You and Buffy are no longer dating ?"
"Well yes. It's been three days already."
It only takes a few seconds to Kennedy to realize that Satsu dumped Buffy the day she left the hospital. She takes a step forward and gives her the best dark glare she can.
"You left her right after she's out of the hospital ? Are you crazy or what ? And how come I didn't know about that ?"
"Well, we're not exactly talking to each other anymore, but I'm surprised Faith didn't say anything."
"Faith ? Faith knew ?"
"Well yeah."
"What the hell ? Willow and I came to visit Buffy two days ago and she didn't say a word about it ! Except that you were staying at Xander's, but I thought that's because she needed some time to…"
When she trails off and doesn't finish her sentence, Satsu raises and eyebrow and asks :
"Some time to what ? To realize that yeah, our relationship had to end because she didn't love me, because she needed Faith ? Well I realized all that way before her, that's why I left her that day. I couldn't stand to be the only thing in her way. And yes, it broke my heart, thanks for asking !"
It seems like her words were just right. Kennedy lowers her head and mutters an apology.
"Sorry. I… I guess I'm just surprised. Hum, Willow's in the bedroom. I'm… I'm just gonna head out, find something to do and let you talk to her."
"Thanks."
"Satsu, really…"
"It's okay. I kinda lost it here, I shouldn't have yelled at you."
"I deserved it. Sometimes I forget my manners and go back to being a brat. I'm sorry. Also I wanted to say… I neglected to see your side of the story. I know it wasn't all peachy for you during the past few months. But… It's just that as much as I like you, my loyalty goes to Faith first."
"Hey. Don't overthink this. We're good, Ken. I know Faith is important to you. It's only fair to want her to be happy. And since I was standing in the way of her happiness… But it doesn't matter, right ? 'Cause in the end, everybody's happy."
"Are you ?"
Satsu's eyes refuse to meet Kennedy's, and she forces herself to smile. Trying to hide the sadness in her voice, but probably failing anyway, she says softly :
"I will."
Buffy was pacing back and forth in front of her couch in the living-room. She was waiting for Dawn to pick her up since they had agreed to go shopping. But her sister was late, and she hadn't even bothered to call her. For the third time, Buffy dialed her number and was immediately sent on her voicemail.
"Hey, this is Dawn, I'm not available right now, but leave a message and I'll call you back !"
The blonde slayer sighed and said flatly :
"If you're not here in fifteen minutes, don't bother to come."
Just when she hung up the phone, the doorbell rang. She almost ran to the door, expecting to see her sister behind it. She opened it violently and began to shout :
"You so owe me ice-cr… Faith ?"
"Hum, yeah. Hi."
"Hi. I'm… I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else !"
"I know. Can I come in ?"
"Oh, sure !"
Buffy stepped aside to let the brunette in and closed the door quietly behind her. Then she frowned, realizing Faith's words.
"You knew I was expecting someone ?"
"Dawn called me an hour ago."
"She… An hour ago ?"
"She said she couldn't meet you and insisted that you really wanted to go shopping today, so I told her I'd bring you to the mall." Faith explained with a shrug.
"What ? She asked me to go with her, I didn't !"
"Oh, well if you don't want to go, I guess I'll just…"
"No ! I mean, now that you're here, we should go."
"Look, B, it's okay if you prefer to go with your sister, I perfectly understand."
"Don't be silly, Faith. I'm just surprised. But I'm glad you're here. Now get back in your car, I'll be outside in a minute."
Faith was still unsure of Buffy's decision, but the blonde smiled her way and she couldn't help but smile back.
"Okay, see you in a minute then."
"Yeah."
It was hard to break the eye contact they had established, but Buffy forced herself to look away and turn around. She left the room without another word and heard Faith making her way out of the apartment. She sighed heavily, knowing that this was just a set-up from Dawn. Her sister was so going to pay. She knew about her feelings for the brunette because they had talked about it the previous day… right before her sister suggested to go shopping.
"Why did they send me an diabolical sister, uh ?" She mumbled to herself.
Being near Faith and not doing anything with her was incredibly frustrating. To be honest, she didn't exactly understand why her fellow slayer wanted to wait when they both knew that all she wanted was to be with her. So, yes, things were a bit more complicated than that, but not being able to see her every day, to touch her whenever she wanted to was driving her crazy. Buffy was aware that there was a lot they needed to talk about, and the rational part of her knew that she needed time to heal from her previous relationship. Jumping into a new one wouldn't make things easier, but she couldn't help wondering what it'd be like with Faith. She wanted to feel again the brunette's lips against hers, she wished to touch her skin and tangle her hands in the beautiful brown locks.
Buffy was easily losing herself into her thoughts when a car's honk pulled her out of her reverie and brought her back to reality. Faith was waiting outside. After one last glance in the bathroom's mirror, Buffy grabbed her purse, switched off the light and exited the apartment.
Satsu knocks softly on Willow and Kennedy's bedroom door as to not disturb the witch if she's busy. But a soft voice quickly tells her to come in and so she does. The redhead is sitting on her bed, her back resting against a pillow and a laptop carefully placed on her thighs.
"Hey Satsu ! I thought I'd recognized your voice."
"Hi. Am I interrupting you ?"
"Oh, no, I wasn't doing anything important."
Willow points out the bed and says :
"C'mon, sit down."
"I wanted to talk to you." Satsu starts while taking place next to the witch.
"About… Buffy ?"
"I don't know if she told you that we're no longer together."
"No, she didn't."
The Japanese slayer studies her friend's facial expression and murmurs softly :
"And yet you don't seem surprised."
"Well, I knew this was bound to happen. Of course I wasn't expecting it to be so soon, but… No, I'm not surprised."
"Good."
"You want to talk about it."
It isn't a question, but a statement. Satsu slowly nods and Willow offers her a comforting and encouraging smile.
"Go ahead then. I'm all ears."
"If I'm asking things you don't want to answer, just tell me, okay ?"
"Hum, yeah, okay."
She takes a deep breath before asking bluntly :
"How long did it take you to get over Tara ?"
If Willow is taken aback by the question, she doesn't show it. Instead, she really thinks about it before giving an answer :
"I don't think I'll ever be over Tara, because we never really had a closure, you know ? She just… died. A part of me will always love her."
"So… What about Kennedy then ?"
"I'm in love with Kennedy. She's very different from Tara. It's hard to explain, but there's no comparison between the two of them. I never try to compare Ken to Tara."
"But… Isn't that what everyone does, even if it's unconsciously ?"
"Maybe. Do you believe that Buffy unconsciously compared you to Faith while you were together ?"
"I don't know. Part of me believes that, yes."
The redhead takes Satsu's hands in hers and looks her in the eye.
"Satsu. I didn't talk with Buffy about any of this. But trust me, she's sorry. I don't think she really knew what she felt for Faith even back in Sunnydale, long before you came in the picture. When you guys were dating, she was happy, okay ? Remember that. You were part of her happiness. Now, I know that things went bad when Faith came back, but this is something that no one could've planned."
"Don't you think I should've realized that Buffy would never be able to love me back ?"
"Well, personally, I don't think you can realize that sort of thing. I mean, you were happy so why would you have bothered to look at the little, insignificant details ?"
"Maybe because those details were in fact signs. You know, like warnings."
They stop talking for a few seconds and just look at their hands still holding.
"What if I can't get over her ?" Satsu whispers in a shaky voice.
"You will. You're a beautiful young lady, and you're smart and strong, and you can have anyone."
"Anyone but her."
"I know it hurts. Trust me, I know a lot of things about this kind of pain. But you'll learn to live with it. Don't be sad, Satsu, because you tried. You did your best to make things work. And you'll see that life is full of harsh delusions like this one. Even if it hits you hard, you're stronger than that and you'll always stand back up. Don't let it break you. After Tara's death I refused to believe in love. I wasn't looking for anyone. And then Kennedy arrived, and I realized that it'd be incredibly stupid to let the opportunity to live something fantastic go away just because I was afraid to lose it again. Because, let's face it, if you don't try, you have nothing to lose. That's right. But you don't feel anything either. And that's not being alive."
At the end of Willow's little speech, Satsu wipes away the tears that escaped her while listening.
"You're right. I know you're right, but why does it have to hurt so much ?"
"That's the question I can't answer. If there was any way to take your pain away, I would."
The Wicca gently strokes the slayer's hair in an attempt to comfort her.
"You're so young, Satsu… Buffy wasn't the one for you, but you'll find the right person one day. Just let yourself live, and be ready."
"How come you're so wise ? You sound like you've seen it all already."
"Well, probably not everything, but I've seen a lot, yeah."
"… Thank you. It was nice talking to you. I guess I just needed someone to tell me those things."
"I'm sure that you and Buffy will be friends sometime in the future. Just give it time to heal."
"I know. I'll have to say goodbye to her. I guess it's just a bad moment to live, but I'll be away soon."
"Everything will work out just fine."
Satsu remains with Willow for a while after their conversation. They talk about anything but Buffy, and she's pleased to see that her ex-girlfriend's best friend has a lot of common points with her. They like pretty much the same things, and the two of them spend another hour listening to music and talking about magic and girls.
When Satsu goes back to her room at Xander's later that day, she finds a letter on the bed. Her name is written on it and she frowns because she doesn't recognize the handwriting. She opens it feverishly and starts reading.
Satsu,
I've heard about you and Buffy. I'm really sorry. I know what it feels like, and I hope you'll be fine. If you ever need to talk about it, just come to L.A and I'll be glad to listen to you. Take care of yourself.
Angel.
Well, that's something she wasn't expecting at all. But it's a good surprise. She's all cheered-up now, and Satsu knows there's only one last thing she has to do before leaving : talking to Buffy.
Was it good ? I know I can do better, but since I'm back at college, I have an awful lot of homework to do and that means less time to write ! Inspiration seems to be back slowly, though.
Hope you liked it !
OTH-FOQ
