"I've never been a getaway driver before," said Emilia on the phone. "But they said they didn't want to risk me getting hurt in the attack, with the baby and all, so I get to wait in the car and start driving when they get out of the station."

"You're getting into a car with the Joker?" asked Crane on the other end, clearly concerned. "Don't you remember what happened to me the last time I did that?"

"Yes, well, you were being chased by Batman," said Emilia. "I doubt we'll be chased by Batman."

"I just don't particularly want you to be put in danger like this, my love," said Crane. "What if you do end up being chased, and you end up in a car crash? I couldn't bear it if you or the baby were hurt."

"I think you worry too much," retorted Emilia. "It's sweet, but also very patronizing. I am entirely capable of driving a car, and you seem to be suggesting that I'm not because I'm pregnant, as if you're doubting my abilities because I'm a woman."

"I can see you've been chatting with Ivy," sighed Crane. "I'm not trying to make you feel incapable – I'm just trying to honestly communicate my concern at your safety and the safety of our child when you agree to be a getaway driver at the scene of a violent crime. It has nothing to do with you being a woman, and much more to do with my complete distrust of the Joker. Bad things happen around him – he lost his own children tonight, for goodness sake. He's like a bad luck charm."

"Jonathan, I'm surprised you believe in such a silly superstition as luck," retorted Emilia. "The Joker may be a jerk, but he's not some cursed individual that misfortune follows at every turn."

"Then why has he never beaten Batman?" asked Crane.

"Why have you never beaten Batman?" asked Emilia.

Crane was silent. "Touche, I suppose," he muttered.

"How's Katrina?" asked Emilia. "Has she calmed down from earlier?"

"Yes, she's sleeping soundly again," said Crane.

"I'm glad. I can't imagine what Harley's going through, almost losing her children like that," sighed Emilia. "Thank God my children's father is responsible and I don't have to worry. I almost feel sorry for the Joker – there's no telling what she'll do to him after this."

"I will never feel sorry for the Joker," retorted Crane. "He's an awful human being and deserves all the misery in the world. If anything, I feel sorry for Harley. She's never going to let the children out of her sight again. It must be very trying for her, being the only responsible one in the family."

"It's actually the children I feel the most sorry for," said Emilia. "It's difficult to watch your parents feud. I hope Harley doesn't stay mad at him for long, for their sake."

"If she doesn't, he'll never step up," replied Crane. "He'll just keep being irresponsible, knowing she'll forgive him whatever he does. Harley shouldn't be a pushover like that."

"Now you're starting to sound like Ivy," retorted Emilia. "Harley will do what she thinks is best for the people she loves. That's what she's always done. That's who she is. And it might be crazy, but I think she of all people would admit that people do crazy things when they're in love."

There was a knock on the car window. "Just a second, Jonathan," said Emilia, rolling it down.

"They're coming," said Rocco, who was guarding the car. He nodded toward the police station, which had several familiar figures racing out of it.

"Are they all going to fit in the car?" asked Emilia, concerned. "We seem to have picked up some extra people…"

"I guess some of us are walking home," sighed Rocco, knowing he was going to be one of those people.

"Jonathan, I have to go," said Emilia. "I love you."

"And I you, my angel – drive carefully," said Crane.

Emilia hung up the phone as the car doors opened. "Drive, drive, drive!" shouted Harley, as she piled in with the children in her arms.

"Shouldn't we wait until everyone is inside?" asked Emilia, as Joker and Ivy dove in after her.

"Outta the way, Oswald!" said Selina, shoving him aside as he was about to climb in the passenger seat.

"Car's full, and this ain't no clown car – let's move!" said Joker, slamming the door in his face.

"So you bust me out and don't let me escape with you?" demanded Penguin.

"Maybe if you lost a little weight, there'd be room for you," retorted Joker. "But because of the crowd, it's non-fat people only. Val, wanna squeeze in?" he asked, smiling at her. "We can kick the Plant Lady out – she's put on a few pounds of cake tonight, and she's got that middle-aged spread, being over the hill and all...ow!" he exclaimed, as Ivy leaned over and punched him.

"Thanks, but walking the streets is kinda my job," said Val, shrugging. "I'll head home on my own. Good to see you, J-man! Harley!" she said, waving at her.

Harley grunted in response, still clutching her children as if for dear life. "Good luck, J," muttered Val, heading off down the street. Penguin and Rocco shared a look, and then sighed.

"See you at the hideout, boss," said Rocco, as they followed her.

"Ok, drive now," said Ivy, glancing out the back window.

"What's the rush?" asked Emilia, starting the engine.

"That," said Ivy, pointing out the window. Everyone turned to see a dark shape soaring down from the roof of GCPD, the dark shape of a bat.

"Move!" screamed Harley, and Emilia slammed her foot on the gas, tearing off into the streets. "He's not catching us! He's not! Do whatever you have to do to lose him!"

"But if you have to drive into the river, do it as a last resort," said Joker.

"Red, can't you slow him down?" demanded Harley.

"We're not exactly in a big plant area," retorted Ivy, gesturing out at the concrete around them. "There's nothing around here for me to communicate with."

"If he thinks he's getting his hands on my kiddies, he's not!" shrieked Harley. "He's not taking them away from me!"

"But on the bright side, he probably wouldn't ever lose them," said Joker. Harley glared murderously at him. "Just a joke," he muttered.

"This is not a time for jokes!" she shrieked, hitting him with her hammer. "Our kiddies are in danger!"

"How comfortable is everyone with tucking and rolling out of the car, and letting it crash?" asked Selina.

"Pregnant, remember?" said Emilia.

"So that's a no?" asked Selina. "It's just Batman doesn't really give up when he's chasing people."

"He gave up on you," pointed out Ivy.

"Oooh, mi-ouch!" chuckled Joker.

"For the last time, it was a mutual decision!" snapped Selina, turning around and punching Joker. "But a mutual decision is not going to happen here!"

"Look, I'm actually not comfortable with a high speed chase while I'm pregnant," said Emilia, slowly. "And I did promise Jonathan I wouldn't do any such thing, especially with Joker in the car…"

"Why me?" demanded Joker. "I'm just blamed for everything, aren't I? Why don't you punch me too, toots? Everyone else has!"

"You deserve worse than being punched!" shrieked Harley, hitting him again. "This is all your fault!"

"Mommy, stop screaming!" begged J.J., as he and his sister covered each other's ears.

"Stop hitting Daddy!" begged Arleen, who had tears in her eyes.

"Stop everything!" shouted Joker, leaning forward and seizing the wheel from Emilia.

"What the hell are you doing?!" screamed Ivy, as Joker crawled over the gearshift and slammed his foot on the brake. Everyone lurched forward with a cry as the car skidded to a sudden stop.

Joker climbed out of the car. "Drive!" he shouted, racing onto the street.

"Where are you going?" demanded Harley.

"I'm gonna distract him, and you're gonna get away!" shouted Joker. "Drive now!" he said, grabbing a randomer and holding a gun to his head. "He's gonna come get me if innocent people are in danger, leaving you a chance to get away!"

"Actually, that's a good plan, J, and you're gonna get the crap kicked outta you by Batman as a bonus!" said Ivy, cheerfully. "It really is the best birthday I've ever had. Come on, Emilia, drive," she said.

"Daddy!" cried the twins, reaching out their arms for him as Ivy slammed the door. Emilia obeyed, and the twins began sobbing as they saw their father getting further and further away, until he disappeared from view.

"So...back to my place?" asked Ivy. "We can put the kids to bed in the spare room, and then have some celebratory margaritas and murder!"

"Didn't you already kill a buncha people tonight?" asked Selina.

"Hey, you can never have too much of a good thing," said Ivy, shrugging.

"Mommy, where Daddy go?" asked Arleen, sniffling up at her mother.

"Daddy's…gonna go back to Arkham for a little while," said Harley, slowly. "You remember I told you about the Arkham Spa? It's a wonderful place that grown-ups go to."

"How long gone?" asked J.J.

"I dunno, J.J. – depends on how badly the Bat…uh…how long until he feels fully rested," said Harley, slowly.

"I miss Daddy," said Arleen, sadly.

"Me too," said J.J., sniffing.

They began sobbing again, and Selina suddenly sighed. "Well, I was getting bored of this party anyway. Happy birthday, Ivy – see you ladies soon," she said, opening the car door and then tucking and rolling out.

"Selina, where are you going?" demanded Ivy, rolling down the window.

"To help with Bats!" she called back, running off.

"Don't go back to him, Selina – you're worth so much more!" called Ivy after her. "Nobody ever listens to me," she muttered, rolling up the window.

"If you wouldn't mind, Red, I think…we'd all like to go home," said Harley, quietly, as she comforted her sobbing children. "I'm sorry we couldn't kill all those men like you wanted for your birthday."

"Well, Selina's right – I did get to kill a buncha men already," sighed Ivy. "I guess I can let these ones go. Or just keep 'em tied up and feed them to my plants. We'll see how I feel tomorrow," she said, yawning. "Anyway, it's been a good day, but I guess I am a little tired out."

"And I want to get home to my husband and daughter as soon as possible and give them a big hug," said Emilia. "And a promise that I will never, ever get in a car with the Joker again."

"I don't think he'll be able to get into a car again for a little while after the Bat beats him to a bloody pulp," said Ivy. She grinned. "What a wonderful image to finish my birthday with," she sighed.

"And on the bright side, we didn't crash into the river," pointed out Emilia. "So that's good. Still, would you both be terribly offended if I asked to be left out of girl's nights in the future?"

"No, not at all," said Ivy. She shrugged. "An empowering evening of female solidarity and girl power isn't for everyone, I guess."

"Yes, that must be it," agreed Emilia, hoping she didn't sound too sarcastic.