Enjoy the randomness!


BELLATRIX : We should learn to play instruments!!

SNAPE: How? We can't exactly go up to some random muggle and ask him to teach us how, can we?

RODOLPHUS: Wait! Look! Look what I found! A...a coupon! 'Free music lessons at Stalin's Music Shoppe'!

BELLATRIX: Ooh! Ooh! I wanna learn to play kazoo!

SNAPE: Are- you- insane? Bellatrix, you seriously need to lay off on the drugs. I know you were in Azkaban, but this is just getting ridiculous!

DOLOHOV: I want to play kazoo! That's my job!

BELLATRIX: Mine!

DOLOHOV: Mine!

LUCIUS: No, no, no, see here. Bellatrix plays kazoo. Dolohov, you play accordion, Karkaroff- yes, I know he ditched us, but too bad, ok?- plays fiddle!! And then I get to play electric guitar!

KARKAROFF: What? Fiddle? Sweet! Can we do musicals? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease with cherries on top... and chocolate...and mustard?

REGULUS: Yes, fine but what musicals san we do? Fiddler on the Roof? The Music Man?

BELLATRIX: You're supposed to be dead, idiot! Go back to your grave!

REGULUS: I don't have a grave, you idiot!

AMYCUS(sings):

A blessing on your head, mazel-tov, mazel-tov

To see a daughter wed, mazel-tov, mazel-tov

You'll have a son in law

Like no one ever saw

The tailor Motel Camzoil

REGULUS: No! I am not being Fruma-Sarah! If you want to do Fiddler on the Roof, get Karkaroff to do that weird Russian dance in the bar!

KARKAROFF(sings):

Heaven bless you both, nazdrovia

To your health and may we-

REGULUS: My god! I was being sarcastic! Shut up, Igor!

LUCIUS: SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! Now, I was thinking we could do The Music Man-

Seventy- six kazoos led the big parade

With a hundred and ten fiddles right be-

REGULUS: NO! We've got to do the song about pool!

I said we got trouble

Right here in River City

I said we got trouble with a capital "T" and that rhymes with "P" and that stands for-

AMYCUS:

Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary Indiana

My home sweet home!

NARCISSA: Ooh! Can we do Wicked? I wanna be Glinda!

No one mourns the wicked

No one cries, She won't return

No one lays a lily on their grave-

BELLATRIX: I find that insulting! We're doing White Christmas!

ALL(finally):

We'll follow the old man wherever he wants to go
Long as he wants to go opposite to the foe

We'll stay with the old man wherever he wants to stay
Long as he stays away from the battle's fray

Because we love him, we love him
Especially when he keeps us on the roll

And we'll tell the kiddies we answered duty's call
With the grandest son of a muggle of them all