Gilbert POV:
I waited impatiently for school to end, the images of Matthew sitting on the counter, blood running down his legs haunted my mind.
I tried very hard not to project my anger outside of my mind; the thought of Matthew hurting to this extent was infuriating and sickening at the same time. I kicked at the grass as I looked out over the park. Children were playing gaily, parents watched their offspring obsessively, and made sure they didn't injure themselves or get into fights with other children.
This blissfully happy sight saddened me; it reminded me of the fact that Matthew had probably never had an easy childhood; it was surprising he is even alive.
Not for long though, according to what he said, that disturbed me. He seemed so sure he was going to die, and they said he had an illness. What could he possibly have?
A gentle breeze blew over the park that didn't match my inner turmoil, everything seemed to be shifting now, and it scared me. I didn't want to explain the reasons I cared so much for a kid I had barely noticed before. I almost wished I hadn't ever picked up that crumpled up piece of paper that told the tale of the first time Matthew's mother had taken a knife to him.
I was so naïve wasn't I? I was scared and dumb. I probably still am now. Was I blind to anything else that was obvious? Was I ignorant to anyone else's pain?
"Damn." I whispered and sat heavily on the grass, the blades swayed underneath me and tickled my legs almost soothingly.
I sucked in a breath and sighed, letting the breath out then just let myself breath calmly, not thinking about anything in particular for a while. It was calming; something I hadn't done in a long time. I brought my arms behind my head and leaned back, letting my eyes close.
I would probably get burned if I stayed out very much longer but I couldn't find it in my self to care. I just didn't want to do anything. I guess I was preparing myself for the emotional turmoil that was sure to come. I had seen way too many people who kept their emotions locked away inside of them fall into a hole of depression, and I knew I needed to be there for Matthew. Even if he wouldn't want me there.
Matthew's POV:
I pushed down from the sink and unrolled my pant legs down to cover the injuries, newly bandaged by Alfred.
I wished the day would end, I didn't want to face the hours left filled with people, but at the same time I wished school would never end, and I would never have to go home to that house; I would never have to see my mother again.
But that wasn't possible was it? Wishes never come true. After my last morbid comment Alfred's demeanor had quieted exponentially. I wished I could take back the comment but then I would be back to wishing.
What hurt me the most, was that he didn't even try to contradict my way of thinking. Before when we were children and he would bring up my…condition, he would always try to make me see the positive side.
There really was no hope for some people in the world.
When we were little. It seemed so long ago…
I walked into my class going unnoticed, I really could have skipped but that wouldn't get me anywhere. I went back to reminiscing back to when Alfred and I were children.
It was before my mother got as bad as she was now, but she was still in a bad place. She would stare ahead for hours, in an almost comatose like trance that no one could break through. Then she would have fits of uncontrollable rage and break everything around her. When she would get like that and Alfred was around he would grab my little hand and drag me outside where he would crouch down with me in the shade of the house and pray.
He believed in so many things back then. He was so pure and when he was faced with such darkness he just prayed and smiled and told me everything would be okay. He started treating me differently when he found out my mom was abusing me, he treated me like I was fragile then eventually he started to forget. Just like everyone else.
I could remember when we would stay up late together and he would take every problem away for a while, when my dad left Alfred was there to comfort me, he was the only one to ever comfort me.
I jumped when the bell went off, signifying the end of class. I hadn't paid attention the entire class, what was the point?
I repressed a cynical laugh. What was the point if I was just going to die? I wish they had just killed me, I wish I had just died in the first place.
I knew it was coming, I could feel it. Every day now I knew it could start, the medicine would stop working; the effects would slowly but surely start to show. Just thinking about it made my eyes sting with tears, I wanted so badly to live.
"Matthew?" Alfred's cool blue eyes bored into mine as he crossed the now empty classroom towards me.
"Come on, we have biology." He whispered and wrapped his hand around mine carefully and tugging towards the door.
"What am I going to do Alfie?" I whispered, I wished it didn't tremor the way it did.
"He shook his head slowly and gripped my hand tighter, his broad shoulder brushed against mine as we passed through the hallway and he bit his lip. He didn't look at me.
I restrained a chocked gag as I realized how much my end was going to hurt him. I should never have involved him; this was going to be so painful for him to see.
We walked into the classroom and he released my hand, which immediately felt cold. The gesture had been so caring, so close, I longed for the touch again, but it would just hurt him even more if I got any closer.
I eased myself into the chair, my beaten limbs protesting the entire way, and settled. Bright red eyes flashed in my mind and I immediately tried to distract myself from the sudden thought.
I didn't want to think of Gilbert, but it was ultimately too late. I couldn't stop thinking about him once I had started. His behaviour was hurtful, that was obvious, but I couldn't help but see past his hurtful words and see the confusion in his eyes. He had eyes that cared.
It was odd, to look into the eyes of someone who says words that cut deeply and see the honest worry in them. I tried to figure out his reasoning, the meaning behind the way he acted, but it was impossible.
I wasn't Gilbert, I had no idea why he paid attention to me, how he would purposely say things that would make me want to tell him my situation, and how he would be so incredibly perceptive when most didn't acknowledge my presence. Alfred had even forgotten my name and we were as close as brothers.
I couldn't get him out of my mind! I sighed heavily and laid my head down on the desk, wanting for it all to end, but wishing for it so desperately to keep going. I often wonder what it is I actually want.
The bell rung again and this time I wasn't surprised by how quickly class seemed to have gone. I picked up my things and slipped out the door before Alfred could catch me. I walked to my locker as carefully as I could, making sure the jeans didn't rub against my burns too much.
I packed my bag as quickly as I could but took my time making my way out of the school. I hoped I could do the same with the walk home; I wanted to enjoy every moment I was living.
Hey guys, I have gotten a surprising amount of followers for this story so I will try to pay attention to it more ;) This isn't the story I am focusing on at the moment so this was really just a filler chapter because I feel bad for not updating in a while. I hope you liked it! Please favourite and comment, that would be awesome! –Serenity Ma Sogni
