Yeah, ignore too many spelling and grammatical errors. It's four in the morning, my eyes are half open and I'm not taking a single second to edit this. I just hope I don't reread this tomorrow and realize I came up with a new language or something.
Hope you enjoy though, if it's understandable haha :)
Leonardo wasn't sure how much time had passed between the time Raphael had left the room and Donnie came in and sat at the edge of the bed with his hands folded. The ringing had subsided into a background noise strictly inside his head. Like a song that is impossible to rid of.
Struggling to lift himself up, Leo propped up onto one elbow then pushed himself into a sitting position. Rubbing his sore, heavy eyes, Leo swayed a little bit as he struggled to stay upright.
"Raph told me about your conversation," Donnie stated in a soft hushed voice. He seemed oddly uncomfortable sitting by Leonardo which immediately caught the older brother's attention.
Leonardo didn't say anything. He passively waited for Donnie to continue but what Donatello said next was both surprising and even though Leo was thinking the same thing, hurtful.
"I think you're right, you shouldn't be the leader anymore." The words came on cold and emotionless, as there was no regret or any sort of discomfort about saying this to Leo.
Clearing his throat, Leo simply listened as Donnie continued nonchalantly. "I think I never really questioned your leadership before simply because Master Splinter chose you and his word was never second guessed. But with Splinter gone and you like this, it's made me realize how unsuited for the position you are." Neither of them met eyes. Donnie simply stared forward as he stated his thoughts and Leo gazed detached at the floor. "I've always thought Raph was the strongest of all of us but like I said, I never questioned you as our leader till now. And for all our sake's I think you should just resign your position to Raph. Whether or not you decide to still be apart of this team is up to you. Either way I don't think you'll really make an impact in our lives."
Clenching his teeth, not so much as in anger but in hurt, Leo stole a glance at Donnie who had evidently looked at Leonardo. His eyes betrayed nothing. They were sincere and so lifeless.
"So you don't want me apart of the team anymore?" Leo asked, hoping Donnie could specify to set aside any questions Leonardo was asking himself.
"What I'm saying is whether or not you're here it doesn't make a difference to us."
Lowering his face into his hands Leo sighed deeply but the dark loneliness harboring itself deep inside didn't pass with his breath. He remained this way for a few minutes. Aside from the exhaustion he felt nothing. Nothing physically, and nothing emotionally. Everything that had previously been driving him to keep fighting seemed to have dissipated.
Lifting his head up, he saw Donnie replaced with Saki's figure sitting in the same seat.
Scoffing, Leo looked out the window where he was met with the afternoon sunset. "Another hallucination," he mumbled.
"They're becoming more convincing aren't they?" Saki asked with a sense of pride in his voice, as if he just presented Leo with some sort of an art piece.
Leo ignored Saki's remark, not because he refused to give Saki the satisfaction of a conversation, but because he was too tired to argue with his own consciousness. Saki frowned and tried standing in front of Leonardo to obscure his view.
"You can't ignore me, turtled. I'm in your mind. There's only one way to get me to shut up but unfortunately it'll have to end you too…"
Once again, Leo averted his focus.
"You're tired, Leonardo, and despite what your brother says do you really think any of them really want to stick around hope you can be a good leader? They need better than you. You've done nothing but drag your family down with your failures." Saki sighed, almost sympathetically but Leonardo wasn't convinced.
To his own surprise, Leo said, "they aren't expecting me to be perfect…"
"No, no, of course not," Saki said with growing excitement that Leo finally spoke to him. "But if you're not what kind of a leader are you? How can you take the risk of being a leader protecting your little brothers and be less than perfect?"
Under normal circumstances, Leo could have seen the flawed logic in Saki's words, but with his current condition and his insecurities overwhelming him, he clearly saw Saki's reasoning.
"You're only holding your brother's back. Maybe it's time to just give in, and let them lead they own lives without you…"
Closing his eyes, Leo rested his head on the bedpost when Raphael reentered the room with a glass of water which he put down on the nightstand.
"Sorry for what I said earlier," He said briskly. "Or for how I said it. I still mean it."
"I know," Leo breathed, lingering on the conversation that just transpired between him and Saki. Would it really be a relief to his brothers with his absence? He wondered.
"Look, we're not better off without you, Leo," Raph said, almost like he was reading Leo's mind. "Nobody's perfect and in fact if you were I think I'd hate you."
Leo chuckled with a dark sense of humor. "You don't hate me?"
Raph frowned. He was obviously trying to say something difficult and brotherly. Leo's side mouth remarks didn't make it easier. "No, I don't hate you. Not that you're always my favorite person."
"I just think you guys would be better off without me holding you back," Leo said suddenly serious.
Raph snorted. "Holding us back from what? It's not like we have some sort of long life goal ahead of us that you're restraining us from achieving. You lost one stupid fight with Shredder, it's not the end of the world."
"It's not just that I lost, it's… the fact I've never been there for you guys and I really have no impact on your lives and the little I do has only hurt you."
"You're kidding me. Of course you've been there for us, hundreds of times. Sure, most of the time I didn't want you to because I was being stubborn but that never ever stopped you…" Raph's voice slowly trailed off. "Leo, you've been there for more times than I can count and I honestly don't think any of us would have clue what to do without you."
Leo looked at Raph and noted the most sincere and passionate look Raphael ever revealed.
"I'm not really sure how to fight this but I know we can't unless you're willing to," Raph said.
You're still his older brother, he needs you. Leonardo clearly thought without Saki's opinion creeping through. Even though his whole body discouraged any more effort and his body still felt empty, Leo nodded. "Okay," he said. "we'll figure it out." Forcing a half smile to reassure Raph, a tiny spark of motivation seemingly ignited itself somewhere within Leonardo. He wasn't sure how long it might take but there was something deep inside him willing to go on.
Alright, as far as I'm concerned there's only one more part after this and I'm done. I already have a vague idea what it will be so hopefully I'll have it up soon. Please R&R, I'd like to know your thoughts and opinions.
