Chapter Nine
The bullpen was as silent as Sam could ever remember it being in all his time with NCIS. Nate sat at his desk across from him, Callen's Social Services file was open in front of him and he appeared to be reading deeply. Sam knew better, however. Despite how intensely he was staring at the paper before, him the psychologist's eyes had not moved since Sam had joined him almost twenty minutes ago. The early start was evident on his face, despite being clean shaven Nate's eyes were bloodshot and his hair scruffier than usual; it was clear he hadn't managed much sleep the night before. Sam was sure that he didn't look much better himself, having spent most of last night staring at the ceiling in much the same way as Nate was currently staring at the file.
They had all come in early this morning, he, Kensi, even Eric, but Nate had come in earliest of all. The tension between them, which had been building non-stop since Callen was arrested, had been just as thick as the day previous. Hetty must have noticed this for she called them all into her office and proceeded to tare them a new one about their lack of teamwork, their lack of co-operation, and so on. Sam had to admit she was right, the tension wasn't helping anyone, most importantly it wasn't helping Callen and he had made it his personal mission to at least try to let Nate back into the fold. So, since sitting down twenty minutes ago he'd been going over in his head what he could say to start a conversation with the man across from him, unfortunately he had never really been all that good with words.
He was saved from the self-induced pressure of finding the right words, however, when the psychologist dropped the file he was holding abruptly and ran both hands through his hair. "Look, Sam, I'm really sorry," he said softly, "I know that I should never doubt a team mate, a friend, I know it goes against everything in the SEAL code, in the NCIS code, come to that." He took a breath, staring at Sam as though desperate for him to understand. "And I didn't mean for him to find out. Hell, I didn't even want to doubt him! I don't want him to be guilty! I don't want him to be a murderer! But, I'm just a psychologist, I just read people and I think that..." He shook his head and changed tack at top speed. "I didn't realize he would react like that. I didn't realize all this would happen, I was just trying to get him to see..."
Sam was silent as he watched Nate chew his lip nervously and it took him a full minute to remember that he was expected to respond. "None of us knew he would react like that," he said finally, still watching Nate closely, "I didn't even see it coming. You know Callen, it's hard enough trying to figure out how he feels about something let alone how he's going to react to it."
And that was the truth of it; Callen was sometimes next to impossible to predict. But what did that mean, exactly? Did that fact simply give more credit to the idea that G had in fact killed Isaac Harwood as a child if the younger boy had done something to annoy Callen? Sam shook himself mentally and pulled himself back to reality, refusing to think about that any longer. Across from him Nate was muttering to himself, Sam caught the words 'psychologist' and 'should have known' and sighed deeply. "You couldn't have known, Nate," he said softly, "This isn't your fault."
Nate laughed coldly. "Of course it is!" he said in exasperation, "Stop trying to make me feel better by saying it isn't."
"Sam's right, Nate." Kensi had appeared in the open doorway without being noticed sometime during the two men's conversation and now stood looking from one to the other. She, like Nate and Sam, looked as though she hadn't got much sleep the night before. She was dressed simply, jeans, a T-shirt and a rather baggy sweater and her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. In one hand she held a brown paper bag from which she pulled three cups of hot coffee, placing one on each of their desks before passing out doughnuts. "I figured everyone could use a pick-me-up," she said with a slightly shrug, before settling at her own desk and taking a sip of her coffee. "Sam is right though, Nate," she said after a moment, "Nothing that happened is your fault, and I'm sorry for insinuating it was."
"Kensi, you had every right to do that, I – "
"Nate, stop it. I don't want to argue with you about this," said Kensi, swiftly cutting across the psychologist, "Can we just accept that we've both apologized and move on? Please?"
Nate was silent for a moment before nodding. "Works for me," he said softly.
Silence fell over them like a blanket, each person lost in their own thoughts until Nate cleared his throat.
"So what now?" he asked.
Sam sighed. What now indeed. What they needed was a lead, some kind of proof. One way or the other they had to figure this out, either by proving Callen guilty (Sam shuddered at the thought) or by finding out what really happened down that alley. Before he had a chance to voice these thoughts, however, Kensi spoke up.
"I think we need a better idea of what we're dealing with," she said, looking from Nate to Sam as she spoke, "I think we need to talk to someone who was there, who knew Callen when he was younger, who could give us an idea of what was going on in his life around that time..."
"Colby," said Sam.
"Exactly. If he was as close with Callen as we've been led to believe maybe he knows something that could help us." Kensi continued, "Maybe Callen told him something about what happened, and even if he didn't at least we'll have Colby's opinion on if Callen was capable of doing something like that back then."
Sam nodded. "I agree," he said. He popped the last of his doughnut into his mouth and stood up, taking his coffee with him.
"Tea, detective Colby?" Hetty offered as she poured herself a cup.
Sam sighed as he watched Colby accept the offer and Hetty pour a second cup for him. They were all gathered in the boat-house, Colby had agreed to answer more of their questions and the whole team had come to give their two cents. Hetty was serving tea, Nate and Kensi were sitting one of the couches while Colby had the other to himself and Sam was sitting that the table facing them. It was an odd feeling, Sam decided, just sitting there waiting for Colby to start talking. It felt almost like he was betraying Callen's trust. If G had wanted him to know about his past he would have told him and as it was his partner had always made it very clear that any conversation involving his life before NCIS was off limits unless he started it. All that said, they couldn't help him unless they knew what was going on; there was no arguing that fact.
"So," said Colby abruptly, breaking the silence which had fallen over them and looking around at each other them, "What is it you guys need, exactly?"
"Information," said Sam, pushing the feelings of betrayal aside and focusing on the task at hand, "About Callen back when you knew him, what he was like, things like that."
Colby took a moment to drink his tea slowly, frowning slightly as if debating his answer. "Cal was a good kid," he said finally, "Don't let the juvenile record fool you, he really was a good kid living in a rough, cold world. He was always smart, when I first met him he was just barely eleven but I'll admit he managed to manipulate me into getting him what he wanted." He smiled slightly at the memory. "But life wasn't easy for him," he continued, the smile fading from his lined face, "We used to joke about it, say he was cursed and so on but the truth was if shit was going to happen to someone, it was going to happen to Callen."
Sam shook his head, smiling sadly. "He hasn't changed much then."
"Can't say as I'm surprised," said Colby, "Most the shit tended to be self-inflicted, defending his friends, standing up for what he thought was right. Cal was a stubborn little thing, sometimes I think that stubbornness was both a blessing and a curse in his life. I think it saved him, I think without it he would have snapped long ago but I think it also brought on more suffering than any kid should have to take."
"Do you think it's possible Callen did what he's being accused of?" Nate asked from his spot on the sofa, "I mean personality wise?"
Colby sighed and ran a hand over his face, clearly considering his answer once more. "Do I think he was capable of killing someone when he was a child?" he said slowly, "Yes, I do. I think if he was backed into a corner or felt as though his life or the life of someone he cared about was in danger then yes, he was fully capable of ending someone's life. Now, do I think he committed the murder he's been arrested for? I'm not really sure. I don't know who the boy was or what his connection to Callen was but I will say that I find it incredibly hard to believe that Cal would ever end the life of another child."
"The boy's name was Isaac Harwood," said Sam quickly, before Nate could continue his line of questioning, "Callen told us that they lived together in a foster home."
Colby closed his eyes and bowed his head with a sigh. "Of course," he breathed softly.
"Do you know what happened?" Kensi asked, perking up next to Nate.
"No," said Colby sadly, "That's just it. Cal would never talk about it, but it must have been bad, whatever it was, because it was the beginning of a hell of a downward spiral in Callen's life. All I can tell you is that his self-worth dropped to zero after that."
"And he started getting arrested more often," said Nate, remembering the file.
Colby nodded. "Yeah," he sighed, "He had a rough couple of years after that..." He paused for a moment then looked around, meeting each other their eyes before speaking. "Look, with all that said he was still a bloody good kid, a good person and if he was living at a foster home with Isaac then I can promise you there's no way in hell he killed him. He protected the kids he lived with until the end of the earth, he'd throw himself in front of a bus for them."
Before any of the team could respond Hetty cleared her throat. "Thank you, Detective Colby," she said with a slight nod in his direction.
"Any time," Colby replied, "I just wish there was more you guys could do. Now that he's injured those two officers, well, let's just say Detective Bronstrum has got the whole department looking for him."
"How are the officers?" Hetty asked.
"They'll both be fine," said Colby looking slightly tense, "He didn't do anything that will damage them permanently."
"Good," said Sam, "He'd never forgive himself if he did."
"I suppose there is little to no chance of you being able to convince the department that Callen is not a threat?" Hetty prompted.
"No chance in hell," Colby replied sadly. "I can tell you though that if they catch him I just hope he doesn't try to run or fight his way out because Bronstrum for one will shoot him on site."
