Chapter 9: Threats from Without

He was furious about being discovered. That stupid SEAL! His honor could ruin everything. Once that will was released... He had to stop that from happening. He settled down to wait. There would an opportunity. He just had to be patient. Patience always paid back in the end. Just like in his sniper days...but then, those days hadn't ever really ended, had they...

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Tim, you're back!" Thom exclaimed with relief. He was back in the little room full of machinery. Tim was there...but he still didn't look right.

"There's something wrong, Thom," Tim said. He wasn't working, merely sitting listlessly, staring at the wiring in front of him. "I almost couldn't come."

"But you were back! I felt you back. You even took over!"

"I was mad. That's different. You should realize that by now," he said. "Extreme emotions are the things that make control possible."

"Tim...I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything I've done to you...I didn't know."

Tim smiled tiredly. "I didn't either. That's not your fault. It's not your fault that this happened to us...that there even is an us...which there shouldn't be. It's not right for two people to be living in one body."

Thom knew that was true. He stepped closer to the barrier. "Why are we separated? We never were before."

"I don't know." Tim took a deep breath, seemed to waver a bit and then stood up and began to work. "You made some good progress but you shouldn't slack off. There's still a man's life at stake."

"What about you?"

Tim tried to work but the soldering tool slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor.

"I don't know how to come back. I don't know how I did it today. I only know that I was suddenly seeing...and then...once the man walked away, I faded." Tim looked at Thom and for the first time, showed his own fear. "I don't know if I can come back, Thom. It might be that because you're in control now, that's how it will always be. It is your body, after all."

"No, Tim! I don't want to be back! I can't be. You already know that...it can't happen. It won't. I won't let you die!"

Tim laughed sadly. "Can a made-up person really die?"

"You're not made-up!"

"Yes, I am, Thom. Let's get that straight right now. I am. I was created, not born. I hate that it's the case but it's true. You were born into this body. I was imagined, sprung fully-formed from the head of Zeus."

"Tim, don't talk like that. We'll just get the machine fixed and bring you back! We have to!" Thom felt a little hysterical. "I don't want to live here."

Tim reached out to Thom but the stretch of machinery was too wide and they couldn't touch. He sighed and then picked up the soldering tool again and went back to work.

"Thom? Thom? Are you all right?"

"They're asking for you," Tim said without looking up. "You should wake up."

"I don't want to wake up. I don't know how to...to live."

"Thom!"

"You'll figure it out."

Thom opened his eyes and immediately pulled away from the presence he sensed near him.

"Whoa! It's just me! Abby!" Abby was standing there with her hands in the air. "It's late and you're obviously tired, Thom. You should go home."

"I can't go home. My home burned down," Thom said.

"Tim's home, then. I don't like the idea of you sleeping here."

"Why not? Tim did."

"I didn't like that either."

Thom felt annoyed and it must have showed on his face because Abby drew back a bit.

"Why are you mad at me, Thom? What have I done to you?"

"You lied," Thom said, trying to sound calm.

"To you?"

"To Tim. You lied to him for over a month! How could you do that? How could you lie? Aren't you two..." He floundered a bit. "...going out?"

"...sort of."

"What does that mean?"

Abby was obviously uncomfortable at the prospect of having a conversation about Tim with someone who should be Tim and wasn't.

"It means that it's complicated. Sometimes, you do things that are complicated when you're in a relationship. It's not about lying. It's about protecting."

Thom stared at her. How could she not understand what the problem was? How could she dismiss it so easily? He turned away, back to the machine he so hated.

"I have work to do," he said. "I have to fix this...and kill myself."

"Thom...we don't like this either."

"Please, don't patronize me," he said. "I don't need it or want it. Just because I'm miserable doesn't mean that I'm begging for you to feel bad about it. I know that you want Tim back. I want him to come back, too. I don't want to be here."

Abby looked at him for a few more seconds. "You don't trust us, do you?"

"Would you in my place?" Thom shot back. "Leave me alone. I have work to do." He looked at the machine and felt tears in his eyes, blurring the soldering tool in his hands.

"Thom."

"Leave me alone," he said again.

Remembering what Tim had been doing, Thom focused on the connections he could see in his mind's eye. He needed to get this done; so...so what?

So I can die again.

He became aware, after a few minutes, that Abby had not left. She was just standing behind him, silent. He knew, from Tim's memories, that this was not normal Abby behavior.

"Abby, please, go away."

"If that's what you want, Thom."

"Please."

"All right."

He heard the footsteps walking away and felt a faint disappointment...that didn't come from him.

Tim? he thought. There was no response.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"He's still in there, isn't he," Michelle said, looking back at NCIS.

"Yeah. Working on that machine. Tim wasn't this obsessed."

"Tim belonged here. Thom doesn't. He wants to leave."

There wasn't much to say to that.

"...but that doesn't mean we should treat him like an unwanted visitor while he's here." Michelle sighed. "I'm going to wait for him."

Jimmy hesitated. "Then, I'll wait with you."

"You don't have to, Jimmy."

"I know. That doesn't mean I'm not going to." He grinned and sat down on a bench. Michelle stared at him for a moment longer and he patted the empty space next to him. "Have a seat."

She laughed and smiled as she sat beside him. "I don't like this, Jimmy. There's no way this story is going to end well. We either get McGee back and lose Thom or have Thom permanently and lose McGee...forever. Either way..."

"It stinks."

"Yeah."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Thom stared at the machine. He'd made progress, but not enough...and Tim was giving him less and less help as the hours went by. ...and that frightened him, gave him more anxiety than he had ever felt on the streets of New York. Finally, he set down the soldering tool and gave up for the day. Following the procedures Tim knew by heart, Thom put away everything, shut down the lights, closed the evidence garage. He could do it all, but it wasn't because of anything he knew. It was because of what Tim knew. He sighed and left.

No one was around when he reached the bullpen which both saddened and relieved him. He was able to walk through and down and out of the building. He was surprised to see Jimmy and Michelle sitting on a bench. The sight of them lifted his heart more than he thought possible.

Michelle saw him and waved.

"Hey, Thom! Come over and join us!"

Thom approached with the old familiar feelings of uncertainty gripping him.

"Isn't three a crowd?"

"Not when we were waiting for you!"

"You were waiting for...me?"

Jimmy smiled and nodded. "Yeah, come and join us...unless you have other plans."

Thom shook his head and walked over to the bench. Stars, dim though they were in the middle of the city, sparkled overhead. He looked up at them and smiled a little.

"What did you want to be, Thom?" Michelle asked, following his gaze upward.

"What?"

"When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Thom dropped his gaze to his hands. They were so...so clean, so soft. "What does it matter? As soon as we get the machine working, I'll be gone again. Why bother?"

Jimmy beat Michelle to the answer. "Because we know you now. You deserve to be remembered, especially because of what you're giving up for Tim."

"It's not...not completely for Tim. I'm doing it for me, too."

"Even so," Michelle said, firmly, "this is a hard thing everyone is asking of you, to be the instrument of your own demise. ...but really, I just want to know. You always look up when you come outside."

Thom looked up again. "I wanted to be an astronomer," he said softly. For a moment, he was...was himself again, completely Thom. His eyes lit up with recollection of happier times, happier memories. "I remember the first time I ever looked through a telescope and realized how much there was to see up there. I wanted to see it, to see it all. There was so much to know, so much to learn. Astronomy is all about learning from a distance. We can't handle anything in astronomy. It's all so far away that...that we'll never touch it, never see it with our own eyes...but it's there. I read books, but I also would sit outside in the backyard, just looking up. It was...It was like being...being there sometimes. I could lay on the grass and almost feel myself floating up into the stars. I wanted to go up in the space shuttle and see the stars without an atmosphere in the way...to float in space and see...see it all up close." He laughed. "Even though it wouldn't really be much closer. That's what I wanted." His smile faded slowly away...but not completely, even as reality set in again, it didn't completely disappear. "That's what I wanted."

Michelle put a sympathetic hand on his arm...and for once, Thom looked about the age Tim was, not like a twenty-year-old. Tentatively, he touched her hand, covering it with his own.

"We don't get what we want," he said finally.

Jimmy looked away, wishing he could think of something he could say, something he could do to make Thom feel better. His eyes alit on a possibility and it made him smile.

"Hey, Thom...do you know how to drive?"

"What?"

"Do you know how to drive?"

"Um...sorta. I was...learning. Tim knows."

"Yeah, but if you drive, you should know yourself."

"Why would I drive?"

"So that you could drive Tim's car," Jimmy said, grinning.

"I couldn't...I couldn't do that...could I?"

"Sure you could," Michelle said, smiling, too. "You have a valid driver's license."

"But...it's Tim's."

"No one will know that except you...and us."

"You want to?" Jimmy asked.

"Um...okay."

Jimmy jumped up and led Thom to Tim's car.

"Wow. That's a nice car," Thom said, his eyes wide. "What if I wreck it?"

"You won't."

"Try it," Michelle urged.

"Maybe...just...just once...around the parking lot."

Jimmy smiled and watched as Thom got behind the wheel. He seemed so nervously eager to try it. The broad smile on his face when he turned the key and started the engine made the suggestion completely worth it. He backed out of the space and began to drive, gradually picking up speed (although not breaking the speed limit).

"Do you think this was a good idea?" Michelle asked.

Jimmy was solemn. "How much time does he have to have fun? ...even if he wrecks it."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

There was another witness to the fun. He was taking note of these people and their relationship. It was the best way. When a quick shot to the head wasn't enough, ransom was the next best thing. He smiled and walked away to begin making his plans.