Author's Note: Hope this was worth the wait…
Nell Jones started awake. She wasn't alone. Her hands, rather than flying to protect her heart as it leapt into her throat, cradled her large belly protectively as she gasped in surprise. Then she swore.
"Jesus Christ, G! Are you trying to scare me to death?!"
She struggled about until his strong hands were on her, helping her to a sitting position on the sofa. Had she really fallen that dead asleep as not to hear the man enter her apartment? Of course, Agent Callen was a sneaky bastard, wasn't he just? And she'd been quite exhausted by the emotionally draining day when she'd decided to just lie down for a minute after arriving home. Not to mention that warm spot of happiness curled about her heart over seeing her lover again, knowing he was safe and sound, lulling her into a contented slumber.
"I needed to see you," he said, his gaze quite intent upon her face.
"You could have knocked," Nell said, snapping because her heart had barely resumed its normal pace and she was still feeling alarmed by his sudden appearance in her previously vacant apartment, even though she knew he would never have been there had she not given him the key in the first place (and taken him into her bed).
Callen gave her an apologetic look on par with that of a young boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar (and a cookie in his mouth). That was to say, the man looked properly admonished but not actually regretful. Crouching on the floor before the sofa, which perfectly placed him to stare into her face, he continued to study her with that intent blue gaze of his, his hand caressing her arm absently.
She still couldn't get a read on the man and having just been rudely awoken, she was really not up to starting The Discussion. Maybe if she dallied, he'd bring it up. So Nell cleared her throat awkwardly, and tried to make some small talk.
"So... um... how was the debriefing?"
Callen winced briefly, then shrugged.
"The usual," he said, the intensity of his gaze finally breaking as he looked away.
"That bad?"
He rose to his feet, putting his back to her as he rubbed at the base of his neck absently. Was he working up the courage to talk to her about the 'elephant' (also known as 'the giant pregnant belly') in the room?
"I can't do this... I need..." He said so quietly that Nell wasn't sure if he was talking to her or himself. He paced a bit, his back still to her. Disturbed by the uncharacteristically distressed behavior of a man she knew never to show any outward sign of confusion or indecision, Nell struggled to her feet. She gently touched him with a hand that looked small and delicate placed against the muscles of his back. She felt the tension ease from those same muscles as he relaxed beneath her touch. They shifted again as he took a deep breath and turned to her.
She'd never seen so much sorrow in anyone's face, let alone G Callen's. It made her want to curl up under a pile of quilts and cry herself to sleep.
"Nell, you could have told me," he said.
Oh, god, he blamed her. For getting pregnant? For not telling him? He couldn't really believe that she should've contacted him while he was undercover, could he?
"When should I have managed that?" she asked, trying to force down the despair she felt like a cold, hard knot around her heart.
"In the beginning." His blue eyes locked onto her face and she felt a little jolt of electricity run down her spine. "God, help me, I wouldn't have wanted you any less. I still want you so badly I just..."
He hesitantly moved a hand to gently cup her face, and she instinctively closed her eyes and leaned into his palm.
Okay. Now Nell was definitely confused, the ache that had begun to choke her having instantly eased away at his touch. But G Callen was sending her mixed signals. When she met his eyes once more, she found that the intensity of his gaze implied that he wanted to kiss her hard, and do so much more to her. But his words... she couldn't make heads or tails of what he was trying to tell her. She let the confusion show on her face, shaking her head slightly in disbelief.
"You didn't have to lie," he said, his tone one of resigned hurt. Nell swallowed, fought down the fear that she had lost him in an entirely different way than she'd ever expected. But he hadn't withdrawn. Having moved his hands to grasp what remained of her waist, he was practically clinging to her. She hadn't lied to him. Not really. Not directly. She had only lied to herself. Lied about being able to keep things casual, about being able to let him go, about controlling the nature of her emotions, about marshalling her stupid, irrational heart. With no response forthcoming, Callen seemed reluctantly willing to press on.
"Had I known..." He shook his head. "No, I am that kind of bastard. Even had I known, I still would've..." He pinned her with his intense brand of gaze once more. "But you said you hadn't been in a relationship for several years-"
Oh, for fuck's sake! Nell began to laugh. All the tension eased immediately out of her as realization struck her, apparently directly in the funny-bone. Concern mingled with the confusion on Callen's face, adding several more creases to his brow and deepening the lines along the corners of his mouth.
"What' so funny?" he asked after she failed to communicate beyond the fit of laughter for over a minute.
When Nell finally regained the breath to speak, she said, still giggling slightly between words, "Some investigator, you are."
Callen rightly appeared to take this as an unfounded insult, but at the same time his mood seemed lightened in response to her own merriment.
"I'm an undercover agent," he said tentatively, as if the comment might only further play into the joke he had not been let in on.
"True," Nell said. A giggle burst forth despite her best efforts to tamp it down. "But you work for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service."
"Yes." Becoming less amused by her merriment, for certain.
"I know I look big," she said, looking down at the beach ball-size bulge beneath the fabric of her dress, and then back up to meet his eyes. "But I'm not exactly an average size woman."
Callen grinned, momentarily distracted by the rare admittance of her petite nature, cupping her face again with his comparatively large hand. It lasted only briefly before the confusion returned and Nell knew she hadn't quite clarified the point. The federal agent always seemed to be several steps ahead, so she allowed herself the small bit of pleasure she felt over his apparent bafflement. Of course, it figured that the one time that the man was being extremely slow on the uptake would be the most awkward situation for her, preventing her from truly reveling in the experience of having the upper hand on him. Although, with that image of him looking so crushed still in her mind, perhaps it was better not to tease the man.
"I'm 25 weeks pregnant," she said, locking eyes with him, wrapping her fingers around his wrist and guiding his hand to rest upon her swollen belly. She searched his face for his thoughts. Could he feel the life inside of her, the child that was as much a part of him as a part of her? Was that the spark of realization in the back of his mind as his brain raced to perform, and stumbled over the math?
"She's yours, G."
The words nearly choked her. Words she had wanted to say for so long. Words she had thought she might never have the chance to say.
"She? A girl?"
His voice was as unreadably impassive as his expression. Nell felt like she was more than holding her breath. Her entire being was frozen in the moment, like a freeze frame from a film, waiting for his reaction, the reaction of the only person in the world that mattered to her as much as the one that had not yet entered the world.
"A daughter?"
Nell felt herself nod slowly, as if incapable of moving at a normal speed, for her universe was still proceeding in slow motion.
"My daughter?"
Yes. Yes! Yours! Only yours! She could only ever be yours! You know this, G, just like I do... in the very heart of you.
And Nell saw the epiphany in his eyes, as those baby blues seemed to brighten and a smile slowly crept along his face, lighting his features until he was beaming down at her. And then there was a sob forcing its way up her throat because relief could be as overwhelming an emotion as despair.
Suddenly she was pulled into a smothering embrace. And it was wonderful. She felt Callen place a kiss atop her head and then bury his face in her hair, speaking softly into her ear.
"I thought the baby... she belonged to someone else. I thought you belonged to someone else," he said. "Someone who deserved you. And I was just in the way. But I couldn't let go. You were all I thought about for six months, Nell. And when I first saw you again, I wanted you so badly it's a wonder I didn't drag you off and take you right there and then. But I saw your belly and I knew, just knew I couldn't have you..."
Nell was made so blissfully happy by his words she could barely follow the man's explanation of his behavior. By the sounds of it he had missed her as much as she'd missed him. But he had assumed her very pregnant, seemingly about-to-pop belly was someone else's doing, someone she'd been with before him, someone who 'deserved' her more than he did, someone she wanted to be with more than him. But how could he think that?! He was such a good man, why didn't he think he deserved any happiness at all (the idea that he thought she could be that happiness made her warm all over)? And if he had thought she was with someone else, then, "Why did you kiss me earlier today, instead of asking me about the baby?"
He released her slightly, pulling back to look at her, smiling that boyish grin at her.
"I meant to tell you that I was happy for you, that I was sorry if our affair had caused problems for you-"
"Just one big one," Nell interrupted, running her hand over her belly. He raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled broadly. "But I don't think of it as a problem anymore. I haven't for a while."
"I'm glad," he said, reaching out to likewise caress the curve of her swollen stomach, a look of child-like awe on his face. Nell was pretty certain that the man hadn't quite processed the fact that he had a baby growing inside of her and soon to arrive in the world (not soon enough, in her opinion). Then he would be a father, a role he never thought to have in his life, a role he'd thought someone else would fill for Nell's children, had thought someone else already had done.
"So why didn't you nobly back down when you found me in the hall?" she asked, adding upon further consideration. "Why would you assume just because I was knocked up that I'd been in a serious relationship?"
"Nell, you're far too responsible a person to get pregnant... by... accident..." He trailed off under her amused glare, and shrugged sheepishly. That was precisely what had happened and he just realized it'd been his accident, too. "Okay, so I wasn't thinking clearly. Give a man a break. By the time..."
He trailed off again, noticing how Nell shifted uncomfortably on her feet.
"Here." He guided her towards the sofa with a hand at the small of her back. Moving to recline comfortably on the piece of furniture he patted his thigh with an inviting look on his face that Nell just couldn't resist. He obviously meant for her to sit her large, round bottom (well, much larger and rounder than the last time this man had seen her, anyway) on his lap. But it had been a long six plus months and Nell had certain needs, desires that had rushed to the surface as soon as her anxiety over Callen's reaction had subsided. So she placed her right knee to the outside of his leg and with his strong hands supporting her waist (and lifting her slightly), placed the left on the other side, mounting him. More or less successfully straddling him, Nell eased herself down onto G's lap, laughing along with him when her protruding stomach bumped awkwardly against him. They didn't quite fit together like they used to, but she didn't care. And apparently, neither did Callen, as he shifted, reclining a bit more to accommodate her cumbersome figure.
She wiggled her hips to test the fit and he groaned in that deep way of his that was nearly a growl. Nell had to agree with the sentiment, gasping as little jolts of pleasure shot through her. Her body had become quite sensitive during the pregnancy, and those parts of her were no exception. The friction even through their layers of clothing, the heat of him between her thighs, the firmness pressing against her, had her feeling like she were on the edge of orgasm and they'd barely touched one another. She leaned in to press her lips to his and found herself consumed by a kiss that rivaled the one that had left her stunned into immobility earlier that day.
When they finally broke off, breathless, and rather aroused (as far as Nell could tell, and she most certainly was in a position to gauge such levels), she asked in a shockingly husky voice (that surprised her more than it did Callen), "Take me to bed, G, please."
The man half-groaned, half-growled again. "I'd like to do that more than anything, Nell. But I can't."
A/N: What's up (ha, no pun intended… okay, pun intended) with Callen? He obviously wants Nell…
