When it comes to Beatles, you can't simply chose one song. I have five or six favorites, but All my loving? Well, let's just say it's the one which makes me cry the most.

Sorry for the small chapter, please review:)

Remus Lupin was very well aware of the fact that every decision he had made had been a mistake. He knew that from the moment their peace was disturbed by Death-Eaters breaking with such easiness in their house, he knew that from the moment they threatened to kill her because of him, he knew that from the moment he had become a burden for her parents too. Remus Lupin had known that all along, he had known that for two years now, every time he refused being with her. Two years? No, Remus Lupin had known for his whole life that he should not have a family, a wife, a girlfriend, or any person who cared deeply about him. He knew that he would put everyone close to him in danger.

What Remus Lupin couldn't recall, was how he had overcome his objections, and selfishly agreed to be with her, dragging her down to his dreadful life, threatening hers, and finally, curse an unborn child with the same, if not worse, fate. What if the baby inherited his condition? How could they have been so careless?

His head was aching, he was exhausted, but it was impossible to sleep. He managed to not toss and turn on her enlarged childhood bed, as he would wake her up. She was snoring with her mouth half open and dark purple hair all over the pillow, and he was laying motionless on his side, with his back turned on her, staring at the moonlight which was coming through the window.

In a week it would be full moon, that was one more reason for him to leave. He had taken his decision and it was final.

At first he thought about telling her. She had the right to know. After all, she was a pregnant woman. But then he decided it was for the good of her to find out herself. He knew her so well, he could easily picture the scene if he told her now. She wouldn't let him, she would cry, shout and curse, they would end up fighting, he would say all his sensible arguments, how he was poor, old, and dangerous, more than ever, and she would find some stubborn, childish reasons to try and keep him. Remus wouldn't be able to cope with it. No. He would leave quietly.

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you;
Remember I'll always be true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you.

She didn't wake up when he held her warm body in his arms, she didn't wake up when he placed kisses on her eyes and forehead. He looked at her, sleeping noisily, and so beautifully at the same time, and smiled bitterly. She was smiling, not knowing that he was ready to leave her again. He gently stroked her wavy hair, and then pulled the blanket over her shoulders. She didn't wake up when he wore his robes over his shirt and trousers, she didn't wake up when he grabbed his wand, left the note on her bedside and tiptoed downstairs.

I'll pretend That I'm kissing
the lips I am missing
And hope that my dreams will come true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you.

He couldn't fool himself. He already knew that he would miss her terribly. He knew that it would be unbearable, that it would hurt too much, him more than her. But it was enough. He had been selfish enough for much too long. He had given in his desires, and had spent the most wonderful summer of his life with her, a summer full of love and hope. It was enough, he had to act less selfishly now, he had to act for her own good.

It would be for her own good. For her and for the child. When he thought of their unborn child, his chest ached. Somewhere deep inside, he still felt that urge to see how it'd look, the urge to see it and hold it, the urge to challenge his heart, and see how much love it was possible to give, but he couldn't. That child would have a monster for a father, a monster who would put them all in grave danger, a monster who had already made them outcasts, abominations, a monster for whom he would always be ashamed of. Therefore, leaving was the right thing to do.

All my loving I will send to you.
All my loving, darling I'll be true.

He didn't know if he would be away for long. He didn't know when he'd come back, or if he'd come back. He hadn't given it much thought. It was all so blurry. All he knew was that he had to get away, he couldn't breathe, guilt was killing him, and he just had to get away for a while, he needed some fresh air. He had to think. And after thinking, he knew that he should be helpful, he knew that he should fight. He would go and find Harry, offer him some help. That's what James would want him to do.

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you:
Remember I'll always be true.
And then while I'm away,
I'll write home ev'ry day,
And I'll send all my loving to you

Remus Lupin quietly walked across the living room door. Ted was sleepless too, he was inside, watching football on the television. His heart raced, and he thought it would give him away, but the older man didn't notice him. Coward! Said a tiny voice in his head. No. He thought. I cannot possibly be a coward. I left my comfortable bed to find Harry, to fight. Remus knew that he couldn't apparate, it would be too noisy. He walked to the door and casted Alohomora. Fortunately, the door wasn't creaky. He walked outside, and closed the door behind him. No one had noticed him leaving.

Coward! That voice said again. Remus Lupin ignored it, and Disapparated.

All my loving I will send to you.
All my loving darling I'll be True.
All my loving All my loving ooh
All my loving I will send to you