It is UUUUUP. I decided to post a new chapter for you, since I didn't do it in the past few days. This one is VERY emotional, about Gibbs and Tony. Kleenex are compulsory.
Gibbs had called Abby and Ducky, but they had already been informed by the director about Tony's conditions. Unfortunately they had also been ordered to stay at work until their day was over. Criminals didn't take a break for a few days or hours. Tony's dad was "unreachable at the moment" according to the concierge of the hotel he was staying at in Montego Bay, Jamaica. This attitude had really pissed Gibbs off. At last he had called McGee when he was sure his plane had landed in Florida. Poor McGee had taken a week off to stay with his new girlfriend Delilah. As soon as he had learnt about the incident he said he would have taken the next flight back to assist them, and would probably be at the hospital the next morning.
Gibbs drank his fourth coffee of the day. It was almost 2 p.m. All of a sudden, a nurse materialized herself in front of him.
"Agent Gibbs, yes?" she asked with an Hispanic accent.
"Yes ma'am."
"You can see Agent DiNozzo now, he is in ICU. I will show you."
Ziva, who had been sleeping on a chair from the waiting room for a couple of hours, jumped up as she heard Tony's name. Gibbs and the nurse turned to her. She looked into Gibbs' eyes and had an eye conversation, in silence:
"I should see him first Ziva, he might be in bad shape…"
"You think I can't handle this?"
"I think you have been through a lot. Besides" he looked at the chair she was laying on "you need some rest"
She sighted "Fine. Only one of us can go anyways. I'll take over in a few hours, let me know if something happens"
He smiled, kissed her forehead and followed the nurse.
They reached a door. The nurse put her hand on the doorknob. With a quick movement she turned to Gibbs and said:
"Agent DiNozzo has been through a lot. It is probably going to be difficult for you. If you want to take a few minutes to…"
"I really just want to see my agent" he snapped. They had been waiting 10 hours, he had prepared long enough. She looked at the doorknob and turned it. She let Gibbs enter the room.
Gibbs thought the Earth stood still for the next few seconds.
Not a lifetime could have prepared Gibbs to this vision. Tony was there, lying on a bed with his head and shoulders resting on several pillows. He had a tube down his throat and five electrodes on his chest, which had been shaved. He had a small receptor on his right middle finger and an IV and perfusion in the same arm. One provided him blood and the other one all the nutriments he needed until he could eat by himself. But right now, Tony could do nothing by himself, not even breathe.
The blinds were closed, so it took a little time for Gibbs to notice the small plastic chair in the corner of the room. He grabbed the chair after the few first seconds of shock and gently put it to Tony's bedside. He sat and took a few minutes to stare at Tony's calm and artificial breathing that made his chest go up and down with an amazing regularity. Gibbs saw a bandage on Tony's chest that started from the bottom of his pectorals and ended…Well, Gibbs didn't really know how large the bandage was, because it was mostly hidden by the white sheet over Tony, and he didn't dare to lift it.
Then he took a good look at Tony's face. He seemed totally relaxed, almost as if he were plunged in a wonderful dream. Gibbs could really think he might be sleeping, if it wasn't for the large white tube that disappeared into his agent's open mouth and kept him alive.
The nurse was still in the room, next to the doorframe.
"Is he in pain?" Gibbs asked in a barely audible voice.
"No, he is not." She answered. Then she quietly closed the door, leaving.
Gibbs buried his face into his hands. This was all so real, he couldn't get his mind to admit it. Tony was dying; he might even be already dead. This man required too many machines to be considered alive. Gibbs felt his hands filling with tears. He couldn't take it, he couldn't lose Tony, he couldn't lose another son. He sobbed quietly still hiding his face to the motionless man for an indefinite period of time.
After a certain time Gibbs couldn't even estimate, he looked at him and grabbed his hand. It was frigid and pale and hard. It already felt like he was dead. Gibbs looked at Tony's intubated mouth, then at his closed eyes.
"Hey Tony" he whispered. "Uhm, you…" For one of the first time in his life, Leroy Jethro Gibbs felt really insecure. Nonetheless, he kept talking to Tony.
"You remember what I told you, a few years back? I told you you wouldn't die. I thought I was going to lose you, back then. I'm telling you that again, Tony. Don't die, I don't want to lose you, son…" A tear rolled from Gibbs's eye, and he quickly wiped it away with the hand that wasn't holding Tony's. He kept going.
"When I lost…" he paused to hold back his tears. "…my girls, I felt like I never quite had the chance to tell them goodbye."
He looked down at their hands.
"Now I feel this is my chance to say goodbye to you."
He hoped, desperately hoped this was going to suffice for Tony to suddenly wake up and look at his deep green eyes smiling at him. But Tony still didn't move.
"There are uh…many things I should have told you…before." Gibbs continued, struggling to find the right words. "Things which are…true but difficult to say…for me". He looked at Tony's face again.
"You are an absolute pain in the ass, DiNozzo." He said "But you are also the most caring person I know. You have the ability to…recognize the good in everything and everyone, even in me." He paused, here was coming the harder part.
"You are the best young agent I've ever worked with, and I am…"
He paused once again to hold back a soft sob
"…Truly honored to have had you by my side for twelve years. And I would be grateful if you let me at least twelve more years to get the chance to make it up to you for everything I have messed up with you in all this time: the plague, Mexico, Ziva…"
Gibbs was about to break a rule. He's the one who has made the rules, he usually never breaks them. But DiNozzo was different.
"I'm sorry. I feel like I failed you in every possible way. I just want you to know that…I'm very proud of you, Anthony."
He had called him Anthony only one time before, it was his way to express his pride for his son. Gibbs ran his hand over his face and gently squeezed Tony's hand. Still no response.
The door opened, but he didn't turn around, as the much too familiar pace didn't surprise him at all.
"He's dying, doctor." He said, his eyes not leaving Tony.
"I know." answered Doctor Mallard.
