Chapter 9
Disclaimer: I don't own The Mortal Instruments. I don't own anyone. This setting was based on an idea from a short film on youtube, but the plot is original. Cassandra Claire owns the characters.
The last (non-sex) part of this is was written while listening to/inspired by the song "Add It Up" by Shawn Mendes. Listen to it for the 'full effect'. Or don't. You know.
Warning: M rated scenes are about to occur. You've been warned. Read at your own adult risks.
Previously...
He nodded and quickly pecked me again. Then we intertwined our hands and practically ran back outside. As we walked briskly back to the hotel, our eyes kept connecting. By the time we reached the elevator, I couldn't take it anymore. The metal doors slid shut. My hands connected to his chest, shoving him harshly back against the wall. We had sixteen floors to go.
I jumped Jace, and he welcomed it, holding onto my ass as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I started kissing him again, relishing his glorious tongue. My hands were in his hair, pulling and tugging vigorously. His hair was softer than I imagined. His hands squeezed my butt hard enough to make me whimper. Our tongues connected and I groaned. My back arched into him, and my chest pressed against his.
The doors dinged and slid open. Jace didn't stop to put me down. He and I walked out and he rolled my back into the wall. I broke apart and started kissing along his jawline. He had the faintest bit of scruff. Jace strode towards our room number and turned the key. When we were inside Jace slammed me up against the door, but he didn't kiss me yet. I breathed deeply, waiting. He smirked boyishly and murmured, "What do I want to do with you first?"
. . .
Jace leaned forward, slowly, and kissed me with passion instead of haste. His hands ran down my sides teasingly. I gripped his biceps and restricted a moan, but he still felt it through his mouth and smiled into our kiss. I couldn't breathe so I had to pull away, and Jace started kissing down my throat in search of something unknown to me. I gasped as he hit a particularly sensitive spot, which was where he stopped and really started sucking. I thought he was trying to suck my blood by the force of it and let out a moan, my head falling back against the door making a loud bang.
He nipped at my skin and I whimpered. "Jace," I breathed. He brought his hands to my butt and squeezed briefly on his venture to the hem of my dress. He and I locked eyes as his head came back to my level. I pressed my hips away from the door and nodded. Soon my dress was on the floor. I scratched at his skin and reached for his shirt while he just stared at my chest. Knowing this, I took deep breaths and his eyes turned even darker as I moved my chest.
"You're breathtaking, Red," Jace breathed against my skin as he peppered soft kisses along my collarbone. My hands finally freed his body and roamed along his hard panes of muscles that made my head fall into his shoulder in a moan. They found their way to his back and stopped. He'd said he still had the scars, but I didn't know what from. I'd only heard of electrotherapy. These were whip marks, and they were huge. I could count at least nine that truly just blended together, but I didn't doubt there had been many more. He and I looked into each other's eyes for a second. "What are you going to say, Red?" His eyes asked but his lips stayed sealed. My stomach quivered at the idea of him being harmed, especially at a young age. He didn't deserve it. But he also didn't deserve to be quitted of hot sex because of it. I pushed my protective thoughts to the side easier than I would have imagined and let my hands truly feel what was beneath the scars.
"God, Jace, you're ripped," I said between breaths. His serious wall fell and he chuckled against my skin. I could feel his boner poking against my ass. His lips started kissing above my boobs and my head started to swim. With one expert hand he unlatched my bra and threw it to the floor. Then his lips were on my nipples, sucking hard. I whimpered into his mouth as my body arched towards him. "Don't stop."
His tongue twirled around and flicked my nipple. His hands reached down to the space between my legs, teasing me along my panty line. "Are you wet for me, babe?"
All I could do was breathe a "yes" to keep from coming then and there. I was on the verge and he hadn't even come near my vagina. "J-Jace..."
Without another word, his hand cupped my sex over my underwear and I screamed. Waves of pleasure were so close just barely out of my reach. "Come for me, baby, now." He demanded in a growl that was so harsh it sounded more animalistic. It sent me over the edge and I moaned his name.
"Jace, oh Jace," I panted. He sat me down and stepped away, letting me recover. After I finally came down off my high, I saw him rummaging in his bag on the inside pocket. Walking behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging his firm torso. I could feel his body's every move, and it gave me a secure feeling that was so foreign to me. "Jace, baby, what are you doing?" I breathed when I caught my breath.
"Finding something we need," he said and stood up with a smirk. He held a small item in his hands. It looked metallic yet malleable. Tinfoil. The design was unfamiliar to me, however, and the name didn't ring a bell.
"What's that?" I said against his back muscles, pressing soft kisses between every breath. His chuckles caused me to shake with him. They stopped abruptly when I didn't join in.
"How many times did you and Will have sex, Clary?"
I shrugged. "Five, but we did other stuff more...why?"
Jace cursed and spun around, looking me over. "Please, God, tell me you've had your period since then." There was panic in his voice that made me answer so quickly without any shame.
"Yes, how is that even related?" I asked, the same amount of alarm going into my tone. His eyes, however, lost their disarray. Jace pulled me into a hug, one I didn't know what for.
"I happen to know a little about breeding," Jace said. "When breeders or heteros have sex the girl can get pregnant, even after one time." I paled at the little tidbit that had previously slipped my mind. Pulling away, I brought my face to my palm. "And if your period comes late after hetero sex, it's probably a sign you're pregnant."
"Shit, Jace, we forgot about all of that," I cursed. "This fucking sucks. I can't get pregnant! My dads-,"
Jace beamed and pecked my lips, his hands brushing down my wild hair. "That's why I have a condom, Red. Best protection there is for our kind."
I eyed the little wrapper he held up and laughed. "You're joking! That little thing? Jace. I've seen a dick before. If yours is that small, we'll be having some issues..."
Jace's expression turned from mirth to serious anger. His eyes lost all light; I hurt his pride. His hands grabbed my arms and, in one breath, threw me to the bed. Jace was soon to follow. He was turned on. Before I could grin, his lips were back on mine. His hands, which previously had moved delicately with no surprises, roamed all over me. Will had grabbed my boobs before, but I'd never been groped, which was the only way to describe the way his hands felt along my chest. His tongue distracted me from his touch, which annoyed me, because it felt so good.
I closed my eyes as his lips traced down my neck again. But we were just here. I didn't have patience for any more foreplay. "Jace-,"
"Say it," Jace demanded, talking against my lips. My body jolted at the vibrations I got from him. His hand played with me, pinching my nipple. I squealed and arched my back into him. His legs kicked apart my knees, and I wrapped them around his back, pulling him down on me. When I felt his body heat and hardness against my core, I resisted a moan. "Say it, Clary."
"Fuck me," I breathed out in a tone that was deeper and huskier than I'd ever heard from me. I could feel his dick twitch against my thighs even through his jeans. "Fuck me, Jace, please fuck me-,"
His lips attacked mine in search of blood. He didn't give me any breathing room. My hand worked at his buckle, and he had to pause to kick off his jeans. "Panties off," he demanded, still on his knees hovering over me. I took a shaky breath and pulled the black lace off me, slightly annoyed when I found it soaking. Jace's underwear hung too low on his hips. My free hand inched them down, and Jace pulled my panties out of my own hand. He grabbed his jeans he'd previously laid on the bed and tucked them in the pocket, but I was too focused on his underwear to notice.
Finally, I ripped them down to his knees, and Jace smirked. I could hear him teasing me with his eyes. A little eager, are we Red? His erection sprouted proudly. I grew a smile that matched my libido. His dick was big in both size and length, but mainly length. My mouth was watering. "Damn Jace," I muttered, awe shocked. In the back of my mind I worried if he would even fit. Will wasn't that big. Jace had to be nearing 9 inches. "You're huge!"
Jace, with a painful smile, tore open the foil package. I propped myself up on my elbows to watch what he called protection. "Come here, Clary," he muttered. I crawled over on my stomach, and my head ended up at the same level as his penis. He held something almost transparent in his hands, the color of his skin and in a circular shape. Just because he was teasing me too much, I flicked my tongue along his head, tasting the precum. Jack gave a panty-dropping groan. "Clary." He warned.
"Sorry," my voice twinkled with amusement, however, and I wasn't sorry. Jace opened his eyes again and focused on my ass for a split second.
"This catches my cum," Jace said through clenched teeth as he rolled the thing that seemed to never end on. It looked very thin.
"Can I put it on?" I asked as he began rolling it. He looked up with a dubious smile.
"Next time." He affirmed. Next time. I was glad he confirmed there being a next time. I'd never get bored of his body. His tongue alone...
He was very concentrated on getting the condom on. With a boost of confidence, I rolled back to the top of the bed onto my back. Then I spread my legs wide and waited. When Jace finished he looked up and bit his lip. "Holy fuck," he said and practically pounced on me.
I welcomed his body, my hands roaming up and down his abs over and over. His lips and mine morphed together, dancing to the beat of our hearts. He squeezed my ass and I squeezed his bicep. The play went on until I couldn't stand it any longer.
"Jace," I whined, tugging at his hair. I pulled away and he looked into my eyes as I flicked them down momentarily. Grinning, he positioned himself at my entrance. Then, he thrust his hips forward.
He and I let out moans simultaneously. My nails dug into his shoulder. His eyes connected to mine as he pulled almost all the way out and then slammed back into me, hard. Jace sped up his pace, continuing hard and fast. He reached at the back of my right knee and pulled it over his shoulder, groaning as he went even deeper into me. I could feel my body building tension deep in my stomach.
"Don't stop, Godd Jace," I panted and brought my other leg up over his shoulder, glad for my flexibility. Jace went so deep every time our centers hit together. And almost every thrust I let out a whimper and moan.
I could tell he was nearing the end because his breathing became even heavier. Yet his pace hardly faltered. His stamina astounded me. Then Jace'd fingers reached my clit and pinched lightly with every thrust. I screamed his name, holding back my finish.
"Let go, baby, let go," he leaned down close to my ear, and I could feel his hot breath on it. And just like that, my orgasm wracked through my body with even more force.
Jace let out a shuddering, broken groan as he released. His body fell onto me, head in my hair as he finished. I continued breathing deeply, trying to calm my heart.
WARNING ENDED. MATURE CONTENT OVER
Eventually, he rolled off me. "Jace that was..."
"How can anyone think that's unnatural?" Jace sighed. He turned on his side while his hands traced circles on the side of my breast.
I shrugged. "It's a sin." It was true; we sinned. But that really didn't matter to me. I sinned before. I believed God would forgive me. He didn't like what I was, that was true, but that didn't mean I was positively going to hell. He can forgive.
"So is adultery but you don't see prejudice against cheaters, Clary," Jace growled. Now I could see our environment affected him more than he let on. I grew up here. I knew everyone hated straights. I didn't expect any less, but I did hope for more from my family. It wouldn't be pretty, but maybe if I broke it to them slowly they'd grant me some mercy.
"You think my dads will hate me if I come out, too?" I whispered, eyes blinking fast. Jace didn't answer. He snaked an arm around my waist and rubbed my skin.
"I don't know, Red," he murmured as he pressed his lips to my shoulder. I sighed. "But I do know you'll always have me. You deserve...so much more, but you will have me."
I turned on him and frowned. Somehow, this comment didn't surprise me. He put on such a cocky bravado that if he didn't actually think so lowly of himself, he would have been a grade-A douche. I leaned my head down and kissed his hair while secretly smelling him, too. "You deserve to be happy, too, Jace. Do I make you happy?"
Jace laughed without meaning. "Happy doesn't begin to describe what you make me feel, Clare." I smiled.
"Then we deserve each other." But he only sighed and looked past me towards the window with discontent.
He didn't agree.
. . .
I was back at the house across the street reading to Max. He was a good kid, I decided. His cousin was even better, but the cousin definitely wasn't a kid. I looked up across the room at him. Will looked a lot Max. They both had bright blue eyes and black hair. I knew Max would grow up to be a handsome little nerd. But Will? He was already so handsome.
He was talking on the phone to somebody. "Will! Clary won't stop looking at you. Whom are you even talking to?" Max yelled. Will craned his neck back at us. His eyes ran up and down my body in a way no guy had ever done. Despite our previous summer, I was still surprised at how good it felt. Growing a grin, he answered.
"Izzy," Will said. "Kinda cousin."
Max rolled his hands impatiently. A few minutes later, Will joined us, sitting beside me instead of Max. Where our legs touched I could feel a cool burn seep through to my stomach. We read to Max for a while, and then Will's moms came home. Their eyes locked on how close our legs were touching.
"Who are you?" The black haired woman asked. I stuttered and looked to Will. He seemed content with the fate he was sentenced. His moms almost never came home this early. It was a Monday. They should have been at work at three in the evening!
Instead of saying I was his friend from school, he said, "Clary is my girlfriend, Mom." Her face said it all. I whirled on Will. He'd told me that his parents found out about his sexuality three days before. I didn't know how, but he clearly didn't offer it up willingly. Now he was going to drop another bomb on them that he had a girlfriend?
"This is the girl you are always on the phone with?" The blonde woman scoffed with hostility. "This is the girl who had disgraced this family, bringing a condom into our house for all the neighbors to see?"
I didn't know what she was talking about. Will and I…well we didn't do much talking. Condom? I didn't bring it. I didn't know what the hell one even looked like. We never really thought about that. I mean we'd only had sex three times before, none of which were even at his house. But the condom didn't really matter to me. Her tone caught my attention with so much disgusted hatred. She talked about me like I was his pet.
"Get her out of this house. Right now." She said again, setting her jaw. I blinked in shock. This wasn't something I'd ever dreamed of experiencing. He said his parents knew about his sexuality. I supposed they never really believed it or just couldn't face the living proof.
Will and I left to his car, driving far away from either of our homes. He explained his parents were paranoid. They hardly ever included him in anything anymore. He said Max got more attention than he did anymore. I did my best to comfort him, but he and I both knew what the best and seemingly only way to comfort him was.
We started making out heatedly in the parking lot of our school. I was stripped of clothes pretty fast. We went at it. Hard. There was no stopping and no gentleness. He was an animal, moving us in ways I never thought possible. And it helped distract him.
Then I was standing by his pool in my undergarments and a robe wrapped around me. Something was at the bottom of the deep end, blurry and big. I glanced back at Will's room, where his terrace connected by an open window. I didn't know where Will was. I remembered sneaking over to his house the night before and falling asleep after sex. Will had been strangely distant about it. After, he didn't cuddle me. Instead, he was talking to Izzy for hours in his bathroom. I had heard him cry and decided it was best to not bother him and his family.
But then I woke up with no trace of Will. I didn't want to search for him because his moms were home, but his phone was left in his bathtub. Shattered. He never left his phone. And if it were broken, he'd have been flipping out. He and Izzy were extremely close. I doubted he could go a week without talking to her about everything.
I remembered running around his house in secret, checking out the kitchen and hallways and the library. Nothing came up. Eventually, I had ran into his moms. They were furious about me being here. "I hope to hell he's run away because this is the last straw!" The blonde haired one growled. I jumped at the harshness in her voice and the sincerity of it.
"I'll leave, but please, I love him. I have t-to know he's okay," I begged, grabbing the black haired sympathetic one's hand. She jerked away but nodded curtly.
I heard them screaming before I got outside. The black haired women crumpled onto her knees in sobs while the blonde haired lady stood rigidly, a face full of absolute shock. And there I was, staring in the pool with confusion.
"What's down there, Aunt Linette?" Max came running out carrying a comic book. I squinted down at the item. It was so big. No wonder it was sunken. I looked to the older women hoping for a response as well.
"Get out." The blonde said in a raspy whisper. By their feet saw a jewelry box with a handwritten letter folded delicately on top. It had the Herondale stamp on it, which puzzled me. This was the Herondale household. Why would their family send them a formal letter instead of calling them? "GET OUT!"
I stumbled backwards and fell, eyes growing wide. And by then the ripples in the pool had stilled, and I saw what was tied to a chest at the bottom of the pool. My heart stopped.
Tied by his pale, lifeless ankle was Will Herondale.
I shot upright gasping for air as if I had been the one in that pool. My eyes were watery with tears but I could still recognize the uppity hotel room. I was breathing deeply, and it only worsened.
Those weren't dreams. They were memories. Memories of the boy I loved, compared to memories of his cousin, the boy I'd moved on to. I looked up to see Jace wrapped in a towel at his rigid hips, so low it was tempting, which only reminded me of last night.
I slept with Jace. I didn't even give Will two months before I moved on to a new boy. "Clary, what's going on?" Jace said, crouching by my side. His hand touched my shoulder and I flinched. This was so wrong.
I finally put things together. Will killed himself, but I never knew why, not consciously. But my dream self knew. She knew that a girlfriend tipped his parents over the edge. They bullied and harassed him, stealing their love away. It was all because I had gone out with their son. I killed him. I wasn't enough. I didn't love him enough. And now I never would because I'd never be only his. I'd never be only Will's. I'd be his cousin's, too. I wasn't enough for Will. I didn't comfort him or support him enough. I wasn't enough for him, but I sure as hell wouldn't do this to his cousin, too.
I looked at Jace with wide eyes. My hands rose to rip the covers off me and they were shaking. I thought I'd throw up. Jace's hands cupped my face, trying to calm me down. But I shook away from him, sobbing. "Not enough," I muttered. I needed to get away from Jace, but it was so hard. He was so beautiful, soul and body, just like Will had been. I wasn't going to have his life on my hands either. "I'm not enough."
"Is this about your dream?" Jace asked. "Talk to me, Clary."
I looked at his golden eyes and knew I couldn't see those swimming at the bottom of the pool again. He wasn't used to the bullying and the prejudice to straights. I could hardly deal with it! Jace…Jace was strong, but I didn't dare risk it.
"Not again," I cringed as the words. "Will." I flinched as I shoved past Jace. "Jace." The memories from last night were my last memories with any boy I could ever begin to love. They'd haunt me: not because they were soothed my soul, but because they were filled with something like love. It was better than with Will. Jace was there and didn't hold back anything – his actions, his love, his words. Nothing.
But it couldn't happen again. Not to a Herondale. Maybe some other boy could handle it. Maybe they couldn't. But I'd be willing to take that risk with anyone but with a Herondale. "Jace," I whispered his name one more wistful time. A tear fell from my cheek as I pulled on my dress. Heels in hand, I bolted for the door.
Jace followed me out, hot on my heel, but he didn't even know what to ask. That was best. He'd hate to hear my explanation. Jace thought he didn't deserve me. I let out a quiet sob at that, stumbling in my run. He deserved a girl who was strong enough to tackle the world by his side, who could be there enough for him. And I wasn't her. I wasn't strong. I was a weak girl who couldn't come out to her dads. I was a weak girl who didn't notice her best friend or her brother trying to tell her what defined them. I was a weak little girl, and he'd find somebody better.
I called a taxi, which pulled over with one look at my outfit. Jace had dropped his confusion and replaced it with anger. "You're a mute now?" He threw his hands up. I threw my heels inside but couldn't force myself to go in, not yet. Jace stood in front of the open door, eyes locked with fire on me. "Just say it, Clary. I need to hear it." I hated the look on his face. It was like he'd seen this coming, but he was so wrong. I knew he was wrong, and I didn't correct him. I was a bitch for doing so because he'd go the rest of his life thinking he wasn't enough when the problem was me.
The dam broke loose on my eyes and water spilled down my cheeks in huge, terribly strong waves. I was knocked over and floored at the emotion in his voice, the way it cracked. "So sorry," I croaked and climbed inside the cab, slamming the door.
"Where to, miss?"
I took a shuddering breath and watched as he pulled out. Jace stood there in only a towel, making a huge crowd of people just staring at him. I held back a sob to speak. "Bus station."
I looked back again, but he was gone. Jace was gone.
A/N: So…who hates me here? Who saw this coming? Clary always has to mess up a good event, doesn't she? Let me hear your frustration. And how did you like the sex part? Let me tell you all something. Fan fiction authors lie! I was expecting certain sexual activities to be easy or fast, but noooooo it is not! Not very experienced, but dang, such lies.
BTW: I love you all soooo much! You are all too sweet. Bonus of the breakup - I get to write more. I literally wrote nothing for the last two weeks we dated because I never felt like it so this is actually more preferred. Lol, am I control freak or what? Anyways, I really hope you all liked this chapter.
Idk if I have answered these or not, but Simon and Izzy won't happen here. Sorry. I really never have liked Simon much at all. Whiny. You'll see just how much I dislike him sooner or later. And I try to update about twice a week, for those wondering, but I mainly do whenever you all meet my review requests bc I thrive on those! It's like my form of money. Hehe.
Speaking of amazing, awesome, inspiring reviews, can we reach for eleven this time? I'm on the writing spur so ideas now are the best time for me to include them into the story! Leave me your love in eleven reviews, babes!
