Twice in one lifetime
A/N I don't own it
Chapter 9
Carlisle POV
I hope what I am doing isn't going to hurt Bella. Edward has fallen for Bella and he wants to somehow beg her to be his girlfriend. I don't know if what I am about to do will help. I hope it does. My son's eyes are filled with hope. They yearn to be with Bella and I know Bella deserves all the happiness in this world. Edward will provide her that.
"Dad, Bella is here with me."
"Thanks Alice." I start to sign. "Hi Bella, may I speak to you for a moment."
She smiled, "Sure Carlisle. Did I do something wrong?"
"No Bella. I just need to talk to you if that is ok."
She nodded. "This might be a little personal, but please bear with me."
She smiled, but her eyes were with a little fear. But as always, she is always so unselfish, she takes both my hands and signs, "Don't worry Carlisle. You have been so good to me, please, you can ask me anything."
"Ok, do you believe in love?"
She smiled, "Yes, I do."
That was too easy. "Ok, do you believe that you can fall in love one day?"
"I don't think it will come to me Carlisle. I am so unworthy, so dirty. No one will ever love me. I mean, I can just imagine how ugly I am, how ugly my body is. I can feel it all over my body."
"Oh Bella, you aren't ugly. You are beautiful. Please never think life that of yourself, please don't."
She cried so much in my arms. I didn't know what to do. She actually thought she was so unworthy to be loved. She deserves to be loved.
"Carlisle, why are you asking?"
"Bella, everyday you are here, the more we all love you. You are just a beautiful, kind and selfless woman and I just felt that I needed to let you know that you deserve so much love. Please never think you are unworthy. You so deserve the best. Think about this ok."
"I will."
She seemed like she hesitated.
"Do you have to ask me something?"
"Um, yes, but it's embarrassing….umm"
"Bella, you can tell me or ask me anything."
"Ok, here it goes and if you don't like it, just let me know and I will leave this house and find a place to live…"
"Bella, stop rambling and tell me.."
"Ok, I know this is too soon and I might just look like some kind of two piece whore, but I really like Edward. He has been so sweet and we get along so well and I don't know if he likes me and I know it's too soon for him and I don't know if I can measure up to Marie and I don't know what to do."
I laughed. Thank god she couldn't hear me, but I had to laugh. Here are two people in love with each other and they haven't told each other.
"Carlisle, are you ok with this?"
"Oh sweety, I couldn't be any happier. I know you would be able to make him so happy. How can I help you with this?"
"I have no idea what to get him for Christmas. I want something to let him know how I feel. I thought you might be able to help me. I am afraid that your kids might tell Edward about it."
"Anything for you Bella. Do you have any ideas?"
Christmas Day
Edward POV
I am so nervous. I don't know what to do. What if she doesn't like it? Damn, I wish breakfast was over. She looks so beautiful in her red pajama set. I know Alice had a hand in this. I don't know what is wrong though, Bella looks so nervous. Why would she? Maybe she is just nervous because she had to get Alice and Rose to help her get xmas presents. I remembered they all went and heard something like that when they said goodbye for the day. My poor Bella. She didn't even eat dinner that night. They arrived that day and she went to sit down on the sofa and it only took 10 minutes and she was asleep.
We were finally done with breakfast and it was time for presents. I really didn't care at this point if anyone liked what I got, I was more worried about Bella. Alice took Bella by her arm and was signing something to her. I went to take the loveseat and Alice led her to that loveseat too. I am going KILL that little pixie.
Emmett and Jasper started to hand out the gifts. It felt like something was going on. Bella was so nervous that she was trembling. It looked like she wanted to cry. I took her hand and signed, "Are you ok Bella?" She didn't sign back but just nodded.
Dad spoke and I signed. "Edward, I think you should open your gift first." Then he mouthed don't sign. "Before Bella has an attack. She is so nervous on what she got you." I nodded. Her box was nicely wrapped. I could see she wrapped it. The tape wasn't straight, neither was the cut, but she did it. The bow wasn't in the middle, but she did it. Once I remove the paper I noticed it was a shoebox. She got me shoes? Dad saw my face, "Open the box son." I did and there was her cd player with a cd inside. I opened the cd player. Someone wrote, "For Edward, you are my inspiration.." Does this mean she likes me?
Emmett interrupted "Edward, if you don't open the second box, Bella is going to start crying." I think she was crying -her face was so pale and she wasn't breathing. I quickly opened the smaller box and I gasped. She did love me. She did…
Bella POV
God, help me please. I think I just did the biggest mistake in my life. God, why? I pray to you every night to help this family be safe and healthy. I have always tried to be a good person. Why have you forgotten me? God, I only ask of you that Edward might like me just a little. I know I am not worthy, I am a whore, but God, why are you punishing me this way? What have I done to deserve this? Please help me not cry. Please help me …
"Bella, don't cry. Please Bella. I just opened your gift. I haven't been able to listen to the cd, but I saw the ring. Bella, please feel my hand and tell me what you feel."
He gave me his hands, his beautiful hands. Ok, its on his right hand. God, he is not going to love me. I know. The heart is pointing inward toward the body. He loves me? Did I actually capture his heart?
"Bella, I love you. I love you with all my powers. Do you love me?"
"Yes, Edward, I love you."
Edward POV
Those were the words I was looking for. She loved me. She loved me with her heart. I didn't care if my family was surrounding her. I had to kiss her. I have to hold her. I took her arm, had her sit on my lap. I signed , "May I kiss you?" She nodded yes. I took her cheek gently and had her face me. Her lips were trembling. Her cheeks were red from blushing. She was gripping my shirt. I approached her slowly and gently kissed her full lips. She tasted sweet. I kept kissing her not wanting to stop. She loosened her grip and held her hand against my cheek. She loved me. Her kiss told me, she actually loved me as I loved her.
I ended her kiss and signed to her that there would be more later because my family was right here. She smiled and blushed in embarrassment. She signed to the family, "I am so sorry. I hope.." Mom quickly came to her and signed "Darling, I am so happy for you both. Please, don't be sorry." Mom gently brushed her cheek. I didn't care – Bella loved me.
"Bella, please open your gift from me." She nodded and she carefully opened the gift. She finally got to the box and took the ipod in her hands and her face was precious. Her eyes were filled with tears. Dad had connections so I got her the ipod made for the deaf. I knew she was saving for it, so I knew I had to make it special. I asked it to be engraved in braielle. She touched it and found the message. She started to tear even more.
Bella POV
He got me the ipod. I don't deserve this. This is too expensive. He had a message engraved…"My beautiful Bella, I love you and always will. Please be mine forever." He loves me too. He loves me. "Why?" He signed back, "Why what Bella?" "Why do you love me?" "Because you are you. You brought me life back. You are stubborn and beautiful and kind and smart and just lovable. Bella, I love you so much. I can't breathe without you. I love you Bella." I gave him a gentle kiss again. I didn't want to push it because of his family. I signed quickly that I didn't want to take a chance in having his family angry with me. He hugged me tightly, then picked me up and took me away. Where is he taking me?
Edward POV
Ugh, I need to take her away. "Mom, Dad, guys. Give me like 10 minutes. You all finish up opening the gifts." I need to properly tell Bella how much she means to me. I decided to pick her up and take her to her room. I brought her in, closed her door and placed her on my lap. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to kiss her. I took her lips and started kiss her slowly. I didn't want to push her too much because of what had happened to her. I gave her gentle kisses as she slowly placed her tiny hands against me my cheeks. I kissed her bottom lip and she kissed me more. Her hands moved behind my head and started to stroke my hair. I placed my hands by her beautiful and silky hair. I needed to deepen the kiss. I brushed my tongue and she open her lips. Our kiss was getting more intense, more passionate. I needed to stop, I didn't want to push her to much. I slowly begin to kiss her gently and then held her in my arms. "I love you Bella. I love you so much." She smiled and a tear fell. "I love you so much Edward. Thank you for loving me back."
