AN: Warning: This chapter has some references to S09E10. Please, tell me what you think.
Enjoy your reading
Summary: The team's reaction to the news.
When Danny and Steve entered the headquarters that morning, it was late... more than two hours after their usual time. Tani was talking on the phone, Lou was drinking coffee and Junior, Adam and Jerry were next to the smart table. Steve beckoned to call Lou as Danny stopped at Tani's office opened the door and asked her to join them.
"Wow ..." Tani said, as she left his office and walked next to Danny, "It seems that those extra hours of rest did some wonders, right? You look good today!... Any news you want to share?"
Danny made the 'cat that ate the canary' expression and said, "You're so impatient, Rey... We have some news to share, but maybe you can wait until the whole team is reunited, so Steve won't have to repeat everything again and all this... fight with his stomach will have been worth it."
Indeed, Steve had the appearance of being determined to contain the battle his guts held at that moment. His nerves could be felt several yards away. Junior looked at him curiously and, as always, Jerry was still oblivious to everything, immersed in some information about alien abductions, which were showed in the screen at that time.
Lou approached them... he had refilled his cup of coffee and drank it in small sips, interrupted by a couple of blows to cool the hot drink. "What's going on?" He asked Steve, looking at the twisted knot the man had made with the edge of his shirt.
Steve cleared his throat... "Nothing... I just need to talk to the team. Let's do it in my office..."
"Ohhh!" Lou said with an intention in his words that the others couldn't get, while he and Junior walked behind Steve. "So, was the day off useful?" The captain asked.
Steve smiled half-heartedly, opened the glass door and let both men enter his office. He walked to his chair and sat down, reclining on the back; sometimes, the captain's intuition made things easier; today, on the other hand, it was terribly awkward.
Jerry came in shortly after, "Hey, boss... there's something I wanted to talk to you about..." He broke off suddenly, when he noticed the intrigued looks Junior was throwing at Steve, as if he couldn't take the suspense any longer. Lou's expression, on the other hand, was calm, almost satisfied. Not knowing how to understand such opposing attitudes, Jerry said, "But I guess this is not a good time, is it? Maybe later... during lunch?"
Steve didn't answer, he just nodded and pointed to the chairs, asking Jerry to sit down, just as Danny and Tani came through the door, followed by Adam. She sat in the other chair, Adam stood by the couch, next to Lou, and Danny stood by the door, looking at Steve, as if he wanted to cheer him up.
Steve held Danny's gaze for a moment and then started looking at the rest of the team. As he spoke, his gaze lingered longer on Junior and Jerry. "All right!... There's something I need to tell you, guys. I want you to know that your opinion is very important to me and that, if any of you have any objection to what is happening, it's better that you tell me and we can talk about it, okay?"
Junior nodded silently, but Jerry leaned forward, feeling suddenly nervous and said, "Boss... please don't tell us that you finally decided to go to Coronado... the last time you 'had something to tell us' was about news like that, and I must say they are not very good for me or my health, because..."
"Jerry... Jerry..." Steve raised his hand and interrupted him. Jerry muttered, "Sorry..."
"It's not about something like that, Jerry. But they are important news and it's possible someone may not feel very comfortable with them... but things are the way they are. I'm going to ask you to listen to me without interrupting me... maybe I'll strayed a bit, but it's important for you to understand what is happening and why, okay?" While everyone nodded in silence, Steve's gaze met again with Danny's, he took a deep breath and said, "Okay... maybe some of you have noticed some changes... let's say, in my mood and the way things have happened in recent weeks..." He paused briefly, looking alternately at Tani and Lou.
"When I received the offer to go to Coronado, remember?" Everyone nodded in silence. "That moment in my life... was some... complicated. Many things happened in the last year... things that made me realize that my life wasn't taking the course I wanted..."
Steve paused again, trying to sort his thoughts. Danny made a move to speak, but he shook his head and said, "When we were on Joe's ranch in Montana, just before we were attacked and Cole died, Joe told me something that disturbed me..." Everyone looked at him silently, attentive to his words, so he kept speaking, "When we were setting the weapons for the defense, Joe sent me to the armory to pick up some cotter pins. In a side pocket of his backpack there was a photo... It was an image of Joe with a pretty lady..."
Steve breathed a couple of times to try to contain his emotion, "I swear, guys... I never saw that expression on his face before... I knew him almost all my life and I never saw that happiness... that peace in his eyes... So, I asked him who was she."
Without noticing, Steve frowned as the whirlwind of memories... memories of one of the most difficult moments of his life, came back to his mind, forcing him to feel all the pain again. "Joe said that the woman's name was Zahra... I remember I made a bad joke about love in the sunset years of his life, Joe just smiled and looked at me sadly. It turns out that he met Zahra in Kenya... she's a pediatrician in Nairobi... they had been together over a year... One year, guys!... that's all they had!" Steve said sadly.
He cleared his throat again, "Joe told me that, after being a prisoner in Nigeria, he had spent some time and many sleepless nights, to think about the many false steps he had taken in his life... and then he... he asked me not to wait... not to make the same mistake of waiting so long to find someone... or to do something about it. He told me he didn't want the same thing to happen to me."
Tani's and Jerry's eyes were wet; Junior was staring at him, as if, somehow, he had thought all that about himself... things that he had recently noticed.
Lou was holding the coffee cup, but he wasn't drinking... the steam, which was escaping from the drink a few minutes before, was gone.
"Over the last months, I thought a lot what Joe was talking about." Steve spoke after a few seconds, "I gradually understood what he wanted to tell me. All of us who have this... life... We're so immersed in doing the job, whether it's to complete the mission..." his eyes landed on Junior's, "...or catching the bad guys..." he looked at Tani and Jerry. "We are so trapped in the duty, that sometimes we neglect the most important thing. We forget the real reason why we do this work, which is to make the world a better place... for someone."
"I realized that all this..." He got up and walked to the opposite end of the room. Slowly he stroked the wooden triangle which contained his father's folded flag. Then he put a friendly hand on Adam's shoulder and pointed to the medals and decorations that were in the walls. "All this is not worth it if you don't have someone... someone worthwhile... someone for whom to do the job every day."
He walked back to his chair and let himself fall in it, "Lou has his beautiful family... Danny has his kids..." Their eyes met again, and Steve felt, as always, as if a comforting warmth enveloped him from within. "Tani, you have your brother... he's a great guy..."
He swallowed nervously, searching for the right words for the next thing he had in mind, "Adam... you had your time with Kono... you've gone through so many things to be together and I'm sorry it's over... I really am... but in these recent weeks, while I thought about you, I realized that I envy you... you're brave!... you looked for a new opportunity to be happy and you're starting a new relationship with Tamiko... and about you two guys..." he pointed to Junior and Tani, "You have each other."
Junior wanted to object... to justify himself, but Steve didn't let him, he smiled and nodded "I know about you and Tani... We all know... what you feel for each other lights up everything around you... Don't lose that, guys... This is the only thing in life that is really worth it." Tani and Junior looked at each other and smiled shyly.
"Anyway..." he kept speaking, "I was thinking about all that and, when I analyzed my life, I realized I really didn't have anyone. My sister and my niece have their own little family, their own life. One of the reasons to go to Coronado was to be close to them, but Mary made me see that forcing my entry into her family, it really wouldn't solve my problem... I wanted to be with someone... belong to someone."
He took a deep breath again and said, "During the trip to Coronado I realized many things, but the most important was that I had never belonged to anyone... I also realized that Joe was right... not about finding that person, because in that moment I knew I already have... and was the person who I had least imagined... I just didn't know if my feelings were reciprocated... but the truth hit me like a brick and put my world upside down: For the first time in my life, I was in love with someone... I had been for some time... but I had stupidly lost a thousand opportunities to do something about it."
Tani was surprised; she didn't think she had heard Steve say so many words in one time, but it seemed that the dam, which had contained his boss's emotions inside his heart for so long, had finally broken and needed to be emptied.
Jerry's eyes were different, it seemed as if he had finally understood why he always thought Steve was the only one who seemed to understand what he felt in the depths of his lonely heart.
The silence in the office was total, it seemed as if everyone took advantage of the moment to think about their own relationships... Finally, Steve spoke again, "When I came back from Coronado, there were some... circumstances that almost forced me to accept that commission... but someone made me change my mind."
Lou finally spoke, smiling, "You mean this... person, you're in love with?"
Steve nodded, "Yeah... that night, we talked... a lot, after I came back from Tropic's... it turned out that all my fears were unfounded... that person feels the same... so I realized that no matter how far I went, that feeling would go with me... this feeling will remain with me until the last day of my life. So, we both decided that we will follow Joe's advice and we won't waste more time."
Tears fell freely down Tani's cheeks, as she struggled to wipe them as they escaped her eyes. Junior got up from the couch and leaned down next to her, taking her hand. Jerry asked, "Do we know that person?"
"Yes, Jerry... in fact, you know him very well." Steve's gaze fell on Danny's blue eyes, which were now somewhat damp.
Adam smiled and looked at Danny and Steve. "Okay! ... That's not what I expected..." he finally said, "... if Kono were here, she would definitely tell me 'I told you so', after hitting me."
Tani smiled, in tears, and looked at Steve with complicity and at Danny as if she wanted to hit him for not telling her the secret before. The detective looked at her and went back to that mischievous smile. Jerry had a confused expression, as he noticed the furtive looks the others sent to Steve and Danny "Ohhh!" He said at last, "Danny is that person?" He asked. Without taking his eyes off Danny, Steve nodded.
After what seemed like a long time, Danny said, finally, "Yes, Jerry... Steve and I are together now... What half the island assumed for years and the other half made bets, finally it's true."
After a pause, Danny spoke again, "Although we're happy, we know this can bring some problems, there are many people who won't be fine with this relationship... Steve and I know that. So far, besides you guys, only Gracie and Mary know about it... but that could change very soon... and before the rest of the island knows or the press starts speculating, we need to know if you're okay with this, or... in case any of you are not, let's see how to go on without this affecting the work."
The glances returned to Steve, who said, "Yesterday, I spoke with Lou about this and he told me about his concerns... surely some of you share those concerns about romantic relationships and work... I think I'm not wrong to say that if someone can make it work that's Five-0. Lou told me yesterday, and he's right, that the rules that apply to everyone else, somehow don't seem to work with us. So, I'll talk to the governor and explain what is happening... with Danny and me... and with Tani and Junior."
He looked at Tani and Junior, but the guy looked away quickly, so Steve kept talking, "We'll establish a trial period of... let's say, three months, in which we'll observe our reactions in the field and the way we work in this new scheme. After that period, we'll decide, as a team, if it's necessary to make some changes, okay?"
Tani nodded, but Junior remained staring at the floor. Steve said, "That period of adjustment is necessary, but... if in the end, we decide that we can't control our emotions and that lack of control puts any of us at risk, we'll say it freely... That's why we need you..." He looked at Lou, Adam and Jerry, "To tell us any problem or concern you have... and we'll see how to solve it... I don't want the team to change... I think we're a great team and that, in the same way we solve cases, we can make this work."
He paused again, and then said, "Okay... I think that's all I have to say. If any of you have anything to say... you can say it now, or you can wait to talk to Danny or with me privately, if you feel more comfortable. Just, please, let us know what you think... It's important, okay?" Steve looked back at Junior, but the guy refused to look back at him.
Resigned, he sighed and got up. Jerry walked towards him and wrapped him in a tight hug, which made Steve lose his breath for a moment, "I don't see why it wouldn't work, boss... Anyway, you already fought more than an old couple... I think you have the right to be happy, guys... no one, in good conscience, could oppose that."
Steve patted Jerry's back and said, "Thanks Jerry! I really appreciate it."
At that moment, Tani was walking towards Danny telling, while hugging him, "I think I need you to tell me Grace's reaction when you told her... it must have been epic!"
Danny smiled and said, "Not really... she knew it long before me and she almost had to hit me on the head, so I wouldn't make another stupid mistake and lose the only person who can make me happy... her words, not mine. Although she was right."
Tani laughed, "She's a smart girl..."
Danny nodded, as they finished the hug, "Yes... actually, she is."
Adam's hug for both was shorter and more cautious, but not less affectionate. Danny couldn't help but ask, "Did Kono really tell you about this?"
Adam smiled sadly as he remembered his ex, "Yes... she was sure you would end up together sooner or later... She said there was no one who could do for you what Steve does and vice versa... She also said that, despite all your discussions and arguments, you were perfect for each other... and apparently, she was right. I can imagine her reaction when you tell her... make sure she's sitting, otherwise, she'll hit her head when she faints because of the emotion."
Adam patted Danny's back and said, "Congratulations, brother! Nobody deserves it more than you."
Grover approached Steve, smiling, "Congratulations chief... The idea of three-month trial period seems good to me... I'm sure, in the end, you'll prove that I was wrong and that all this really can work." Both men hugged each other hard, while Steve muttered, "Mahalo, brother... I love you..."
"I love you too, buddy... I suppose I can give the good news to my beautiful wife? Renée is going to go crazy with this!"
Steve moved away and looked at Lou... "Let me talk to the governor first, will you? I'd like to control what the media will say, although I don't know if I can."
Lou frowned at a silent question, Steve explained, "Rachel threatened Danny with taking Charlie's custody to court again, if we keep going with this."
"Oh! That's bad..." Lou said," I hope you can convince her... "
Steve sighed and said, "Yeah... Me too!..."
Before everyone left the office, Steve said, "Junior... can I talk to you for a second?"
Junior couldn't help but startle... he looked at Tani and shrugged when she gave him a wide smile and went out, closing the door behind her.
Steve pointed to the chair and Junior sat down, looking at his hands, which were twisting nervously. Steve walked next to him, went around the desk and sat down. "Listen Junior... I know it's hard, but I need you to tell me what's going on in your mind... Maybe this bothers you and you're angry or disappointed... I need you to talk to me, Junior. We have to keep the team running, regardless of all this."
Finally, the guy looked up and his eyes met Steve's, who said, "I know that military training makes this harder for you to accept than for the others... even after DADT, the Navy is not, precisely, open to this type of relationship and... and maybe, this new... information, change your opinion about me."
"Oh no, sir!... None of that!" Junior finally spoke, shaking his head energetically.
Steve asked in a soft voice, "So why are you refusing to look at me?"
Junior looked down again for a moment, but then looked back at Steve's eyes, "I was ashamed."
Steve nodded and said, "About me..."
Junior's head shook again, "No... I was ashamed of myself."
Steve frowned and said, "I don't understand."
Junior said, "Ashamed for not having the guts you had, to openly say what I feel for Tani... We're starting this new relationship and I didn't have the courage to tell you or any of the team."
Steve smiled, "Junior... I understand that... It's scary, isn't it? Somehow, accepting that you have feelings for someone, and telling others, is like accepting certain... vulnerability. Believe me, I know... I had never felt so much fear in my life... Even in the middle of the most dangerous mission, I've never felt so exposed, so vulnerable... but believe me when I say this: Once you accept it and you realize that the other can feel the same... when you allow yourself to receive the same love you give... and you decide to go for it with everything you have... it's an incredibly liberating experience."
Junior nodded and a shy smile formed on his face, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you before... and I'm really happy for you, Commander... Steve." Junior got up and walked slowly to the desk. Steve did the same and they hugged each other. "You can talk to me about anything, Junior. We're friends, right?"
"Right..." Junior's smile finally widened. "Thank you sir…"
"Thank me? For what?" Steve asked, intrigued.
"Yes... for what you did today... for letting me know you a little more... It was a brave gesture to confess your feelings in the way you did. Thanks for that... for the trust."
Finally, Junior walked to the door and opened it, just as Danny came in. They hugged, while Junior said, "Congratulations, man... I'm happy for you."
"Thanks buddy..." Danny said and hugged him briefly. When they parted, he slapped Junior's back and the guy left the office.
Danny came in and sat in front of Steve. He took a deep breath and said, "Okay... that went well, I guess."
Steve smiled and nodded, "Yeah! ... I think we worried too much."
"Okay... next step. You should talk to the governor and I'll talk to the lawyer, okay?"
Steve nodded and got up, just when Tani walked to the door, she knocked softly and opened it. She stuck her head in and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt, but... Danny you have a visitor." She looked back to the hall.
Danny frowned, anticipating the situation, when he saw through the glass. Rachel was there, standing in front of the smart table, wearing frayed jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Breathing deeply, Danny said, "Thanks Tani... can you tell Rachel she can come in." Then he looked at Steve, and asked, "Do you mind?" Steve nodded.
The two men waited while Rachel walked to the office, whose door Danny kept open. "Good morning ..." she greeted. Danny motioned for her to enter and closed the door.
None of them greeted her back. Steve pointed to the chairs for her to sit on, but she remained standing as she said, "I was hoping we could talk... I have something to tell you."
From the quiet tone in his voice, Steve decided there was little risk of an argument, so he walked to the door to go out and leave them alone, but Rachel said, "No, Steve... Please stay! I need to talk to you two."
