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Thanx ImmaPickle, great story idea!

Okay, yes, I know I take forever to post chapters, and when I do, I crank out two or three at a time. I keep getting board of chapters and moving on to new ones, then finishing them all at the same time. XD

Why Firestar Shouldn't Have Pets

Firestar was feeling downright miserable today. Nothing, not even Sandstorm's skirt flying up, could change his cloudy mood.

"Talk to him Graystripe, you're his best friend", exclaimed Cloudtail. Graystripe looked doubtful, but went to see his old friend.

"Hi Firestar!" He shouted cheerfully, entering the leader's den.

"Hi Graystripe", Firestar mumbled, sinking lower into his easy chair (The only item Bluestar had allowed him to keep from the Twoleg raid".

"Okay", Graystripe sighed, "What's wrong?"

Firestar shifted in his chair. "It's just well...", he trailed off. Graystripe nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"I wanna pet", he blurted out.

Graystripe sighed again. "You know, taking care of a Twoleg is a lot of work!"

"I know", Firestar admitted, "But I'll change his litter box, and feed him, and love him!"

Suddenly, Sandstorm called out from the other room. "NO! YOU ARE NOT GETTING A TWOLEG! THEY SMELL AND AREN'T HOUSE TRAINED! STETTLE FOR SOMETHING ELSE!"

Graystripe chuckled, "Can't argue with the Mrs."

"I know", Firestar agreed, "It sucks!"

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Sandstorm hollered.

"Nothing Sweet Cakes!"

Two Hours Later:

They boys were down at the local pet store picking out a pet.

"Oh, look at this mouse! He's so cute", Firestar squealed.

Graystripe glanced up from the snake he was holding to the little white mouse in Firestar's paws. Drool started to drip from his mouth.

Firestar had recently became a vegetarian (Long story), so the thought of having a potential dinner as a pet was fine to the great leader.

Graystripe longed to leap forward and grab the juicy morsel. He longed so much in fact, that he didn't realize he was squishing the snake till it got feed up and swallowed him!

"So, what do you think of the mouse?" Firestar asked.

"My mink mick mucks", he replied through the thick snake skin.

Translation: I think it sucks.

"I knew you would love it", Firestar exclaimed.

The striped warrior sighed as he desperately tried to pull off the grinning snake.

One Hour Later:

"You are sooooooooooooooo cute", Firestar squealed. He was on his way home from the pet store, mouse in hand.

"Now", he said to no one in particular, "What should we name you?" Suddenly, he snapped his fingers.

"I know! Ralph! Ralph the mouse! Perfect!"

Quickly, he picked up "Ralph" and took off for ThunderClan.

Back At The Pet Store:

"I'm sorry sir", the clerk insisted, "But you have to pay in order to take this snake from the store!"

"Muf My Mant Met Mt Moff", wailed Graystripe, still trapped in the snake.

Translation: But I can't get it off!

"Sorry sir, but I didn't quite get that", the clerk smirked.

"My moo miffin mittle mrit fritn witle weller!" Graystripe snapped.

Translation: Why you #!*^&%$ little ^$^*

With that, he snatched a nearby vase and smashed it atop the clerks head.

Now, Back To Firestar

"LOOKIE! A MOUESY!" Firestar bellowed to his stunned clan.

Heads swerved in the leaders direction, only to rest upon Ralph.

"Ralph!" Firestar gestured to the mouse.

"Squeak", Ralph cried in terror.

"MOUSE!" Shrieked the cats, pounding after the bolting rodent.

"No! RALPH!" Cried Firestar, racing after his clan.

Okaaaaay. Now We Go To Graystripe.

"Ahhhh", Graystripe sighed, after finally pulling off the snake.

Suddenly, a pounding filled the air like a herd of wild elephants. A look of terror crossed his striped face as his fellow warriors ran him over, literally! Leaving tire marks across his flat body.

The clerk sighed and yanked out a bike pump. Pushing it up and down several times, he managed to blow the deputy back up again.

Sadly, the snake was back on the warriors head, and showed no sign of budging.

Graystripe fell to his knees and called out into the cold, forest air, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"