"Riza," Roy called her name as he spotted her leaving the ladies room. Pushing off the wall he was propped up against, Roy rushed after her. However, the blonde ignored him and continued towards the front door. Lengthening his stride, he quickly caught up with her. "Wait."
"For what?" she asked. Her voice was cool but her eyes were colder. Roy almost flinched. Dread pooled in his stomach. This was going so horribly wrong. "For you to leave me by myself again? For you to pretend like I'm not here? Pick one Roy." She threw the door open and stalked through it.
Luckily, after finding their heated argument Roy's father had left him alone. There had been a knowing smirk on his face that riled Roy up even more.
"Trouble in paradise?" he asked, his voice smug.
"You leave her out of it," Roy hissed. "She has nothing to do with me. We are just friends."
"Friends?" His tone was incredulous. "To me, and I'm pretty sure to everyone else here, it looks like you are more than just friends." He smirked. God, Roy wanted to punch him in the face. His hand even twitched in response. Instead, he balled it into a fist. "This is very interesting."
Fear coursed through him. This was exactly why he didn't want to get involved with anyone. Roy had been unsure if his father would stoop so low as to threaten someone who wasn't a family member or a member of the police force and tonight it had been discovered that apparently he would. Pure fear consumed him. It was a mistake to bring Riza here. God, how could you be so stupid?
"Regardless, you fucking touch her and I will kill you. Do you understand?" he threatened. He could feel himself losing it. If this didn't end soon Roy would find himself doing something he would regret. Not personally, of course. But professionally? Yes.
His father tutted. "Now, now. Do you honestly think I could do something like that?" He chuckled to himself as he stalked off, hands shoved in his pockets casually.
As he had waited he begun to pace, his mind racing for any way to try and stop this. Riza couldn't be targeted because of him. Roy wasn't even sure what his father would even do to her. He had put his aunt in a car crash. He didn't want to entertain the thought.
"Riza, please wait. Let me explain myself."
"I'm going home Roy. I'm tired."
"I'm going with you."
"No," she replied, her shoulders sagging, her voice soft. "Stay and enjoy the event. Don't leave because of me."
"I told you that you being here would make the night infinitely better, didn't I?" He waited for her response.
"You did," she replied, resigned.
"Then if you are going, I am going."
He hailed a cab no problem but as they waited and during the car journey the silence between them was awkward at best. He wanted to say something. He wanted to say anything, but he just kept thinking about his father's threats. Perhaps it would be best if they remained friends. For her sake.
The moment of their "almost kiss" had also haunted him for the past few weeks. It hadn't even been close to a real kiss. They had inched a fraction closer to each other before James had stirred, but the implication was there. God, he had wanted to kiss her there and then. The meaning behind it left him wondering since they had never discussed it again. He wanted to take things further but after the conversation with his father the thought made his stomach churn.
Things couldn't go any further. Not now. Not anymore.
The conversation that needed to happen was too personal, too private, for the back of a cab. He decided he would wait until they were home before diving into his explanation. He owed her that much at least. However before he got the chance to offer, she walked ahead to her own apartment.
"Riza?" he asked, his voice full of uncertainty. He looked at the set of her shoulders, how they were tensed, but thrown back. She held her head high as she walked.
"Good night Roy." Thinly veiled anger laced her voice.
And just like that, he felt any hope he thought he had with Riza shatter into tiny pieces.
It was for the best a rational part told him.
Upon entering his apartment, he had found himself heading straight to his couch. He remained there, playing through the nights events like some kind of torture machine. He winced every time he remembered how hurt Riza had looked as she entered her apartment. He had only caught a glimpse of her side profile, but the pain and anger was there.
He had ruined everything.
The only upside to the night was that Havoc had got the information he had needed. The woman who had approached them while dancing had explained the situation, and that Havoc was waiting for him in the smoking area to pass on the memory stick. He dug the piece of tech out of the pocket of his tux. Was all this really worth what he did to Riza? He groaned as he remembered leaving her in the middle of the dancefloor, asking her to get him a drink. In the excitement of the news he didn't think twice about going to see Havoc. He realised now just exactly how it would have looked. They were midway through a dance, a strange woman approaches him, and he leaves with the stranger while his date is ditched in the middle of the dancefloor.
Idiot.
Then the heated argument with his father happened. It was his usual spiel of "how come you never visit me?" and "we should get together more often". Total bullshit. The man hated Roy and they both knew it. Roy was an inconvenience to him, a smudge on his seemingly "perfect" reputation. But it was anything but perfect. The man was so corrupt it was a wonder no one else had seen through his shit by now. Perhaps they had and they had been silenced. The thought made him shiver.
He had never meant to let Riza see the relationship between him and his father and just how bad it was. But when she had walked through those doors he knew all was lost. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak.
Before he could chicken out, Roy strode to his room, tossing his tux on the bed. He changed into a pair of shorts and his hoodie from the academy days. Returning to his kitchen, he pulled a bottle of wine out the fridge. He was hoping to use it for a happier occasion, but that opportunity was gone now.
His knuckles rapped on Riza's door. The coolness of the floor seeped through his socks. It was around midnight so he wasn't too bothered about being out in the hallway in what was effectively his pyjamas. He had more important things to deal with tonight.
Riza opened the door and Roy's breathe almost caught once more. She was so beautiful, even if she was staring at him irritably. Her hair was down now, tossed over her shoulder in a cascade of blonde waves, the after effects of having it pinned up all night. She wore a blue hoody, similar to him, and a pair of pyjama bottoms. They had Pusheen cats on them and Roy was transported back to a time where things were simpler. Riza had socks with the same pattern on them. He had seen them when they were at the park a couple of months ago. It was incredibly endearing even now.
He swallowed, remembering the reason he came here tonight. "Peace offering?" he asked, lifting the bottle of wine. He grinned, but it fell as her expression didn't change. "Can I at least explain myself?"
Riza sighed and pushed the door open so he could enter. The look on her face showed him it was against her better judgement that she was letting him in. He vowed he would not disappoint or waste her time any longer.
Without a word she retrieved two wine glasses from her kitchen and motioned for him to sit on the couch. Roy poured the wine in the silence, trying to get his thoughts in order before beginning. It was expected, but it didn't mean the disappointment wasn't real when Riza chose to sit on the armchair across from him, rather than beside him on the couch.
"Like I said, I didn't tell you about my father because I don't like him and I wanted to keep that part of my life separate." He paused, choosing his next words carefully. He didn't want to frighten Riza, but she still deserved the truth. She had trusted him enough to share the story about her father. The least he could do was return the favour. "But there is more to it than that. To be honest… He is an awful man." Riza's eyebrows shot up in surprise at that as she took a sip of her wine. "He is so corrupt and isn't against using any means to get what he wants. He even threatened my career just so I would attend tonight."
"Really?" she asked doubtfully.
Roy nodded, his smile grim. "I even have the tape to prove it. Havoc knows all about this too and we are working together to bring him to down."
Silence fell over them. He hadn't noticed his hand balling into a fist.
"Dear old dad hasn't exactly always been faithful to Mrs. Mayor. She's not my mother. I don't even know who the woman is. But from what I gathered from my aunt – who did raise me – he paid her off to keep her quiet." There was a shift of fabric and the couch dipped next to him. A hand covered his that was balled into a fist. The more he spoke, the tighter Riza gripped it, eventually coaxing him to relax. In response, Roy gripped her digits tightly to have something to hold on to. It was a small show of support, but it felt nice.
This whole mess with his father had felt like a one-man battle for too long. It was suffocating. Having Riza's hand on his felt like a life raft while he was drowning. A burden was being lifted from his shoulders as he discussed this with Riza. The only other person who knew outside of his family was Havoc. It was not lost on him how comfortable he felt telling Riza either. But he didn't make himself meet her stare. He couldn't. Not yet.
"Initially he had tried to force her to get an abortion, but she refused. I don't know why. So she had me but my father didn't even show up at the hospital. He wanted nothing to do with her or her kid. She was only young, from what I was told. Just entered her twenties. And she was scared." Guilt flooded him. It was in no way his fault. He didn't ask to be born. But his mother had been terrified after he had been born. Terrified of doing it all by herself and terrified of what his father would do to both of them. "So my Aunt Chris adopted me. She is my father's sister. After this all happened she wanted nothing more to do with him, and I don't blame her. I would do the same…"
"But?" Riza asked quietly.
Roy sighed. "But he uses people to get to me. With the job I am in he likes to keep me on a short leash." He chuckled humourlessly to himself. "Probably because I am in a position to expose him." Silence fell once more as the words sunk in and Roy took a large mouthful of wine.
"That's why you introduced us as friends."
It wasn't a question, but Roy nodded in conformation. "Yes. It has happened in the past and it will happen again. That's why I don't get close to anyone now. He will stoop low to get whatever he needs. And I don't want to put you through that Riza. God help me I really don't. But I can't seem to stay away at the same time." Finally, he met her gaze. Initially he was afraid of what he would find. He expected anger, irritation, fear… Not sympathy and understanding. "And it is so selfish of me to keep seeing you," he added. "It is unfair to you, not to mention the fact that I refuse to put you and James in danger. I can't. If anything happened I would never forgive myself."
"Roy," Riza replied softly. "I… understand what you're going through. To an extent. I know what it's like to live in fear because of a shitty parent." Her admittance was quiet, as if finally admitting it to herself. "I don't know what has happened in the past between you two but I know one thing. We can't let them win."
"It's not as simple as that," he sighed. Standing from the couch, he began to pace in the space in front of the television. He didn't notice Riza watching his every move. "He threatened you tonight." She paused in her movements. "He didn't say the words, but the implication was there. And I can't do that to you. I won't."
Riza stood, moving in front of him so he had to pause his pacing. Slowly she took his hands in hers. "I think," she began carefully. "That this is something very serious we need to consider." Clasping that hand tightly, she offered him a small comfort. "I need to think of James, first and foremost."
"Of course," he agreed immediately, despite the fact that the words were like daggers into his chest.
"However, I can take care of myself. I was in the academy with Rebecca, I have had all the training. I know how to look after us both."
"But –"
Riza raised a hand up to silence him. "Regardless of that threat, I would still like to remain friends with you Roy. You have become someone I can trust and that doesn't come easy for me. It would be a shame to lose that," she admitted quietly.
Friends. The word echoed around his head, bashing roughly against the inside of his skull.
"Whatever you decide, I'm with you." If being friends with this incredible woman was all she could get, then that was what he would take. It was a miracle he was getting even that.
"I…" Riza trailed off her gaze wandering to the side for a brief moment. She looked as if she wanted to say more, but decided against it. It piqued his curiosity though. "I have to think about my son."
"Of course. Thank you." He cast his gaze downwards, not wanting Riza to see the disappointment held within them. He didn't think he could hate his father anymore for ruining his life, but here he was. A fire burned within him now, one that would fuel his desire to get the Mayor where he belonged, rotting in a prison cell.
Pressure on his cheek jolted him from his thoughts. Riza pulled her hand away with a sad smile. She squeezed his hand before stepping away.
"Just… Be careful, okay? For me."
Roy nodded. "I will."
The urge was too strong for him to resist any longer. He pulled her into his arms. Her hands gripped him tightly, which surprised him, as they slid around his waist. Roy savoured the moment, closing his eyes as his nostrils were filled with the scent of Riza's shampoo. He didn't want to move from this spot.
They both pulled away reluctantly. "Thank you for letting me explain. I apologise for my behaviour tonight, I realise I wasn't exactly present for most of it."
"It's okay," Riza smiled.
"Havoc was working on getting us information against the Mayor." He didn't want to draw her into his work, but again, she deserved an explanation. "The woman who spoke to me was helping us. I'm sorry for leaving you in the middle of the dancefloor. It wasn't very good of me."
"It wasn't," she smiled dryly. "But now I know what's going on, its fine. There are bigger things to worry about."
Roy winced. "There is," he agreed. "Good night Riza. Sorry for ruining the night."
He showed himself out. Every step away from that woman felt like a dagger in the chest. God, when did it get this bad? The thought of distancing himself from her felt the same way. A small part of him wondered if she felt anything similar.
This was for her own safety, and for her family too. He wouldn't be so selfish as to endanger them. He would never forgive himself if something did happen. And if it came down to it, he wasn't sure he would be able to stop himself from killing his father for it.
Roy had meant what he said to the Mayor. If he did cause any harm to come to Riza and James, Roy would kill him. That was something legal the man could bet on.
Riza watched Roy walk out of her living room and could feel their future going with it. Her heart constricted at the thought, her stomach turning. This was not what she wanted at all. And from the defeated look on Roy's face, she had an inkling that he felt the same way. The prospect of that should have sent a thrill through her, but instead it made the weight on her chest even more crushing.
But she had to think of her son. She couldn't put him in harm's way like that. Riza knew there was truth to Roy's words. There was no hint of a lie in his face as he told her that he would never forgive himself if they were used against him.
She knew she couldn't let Roy leave without saying something. It didn't feel right. Everything about him screamed defeat and Riza got the impression this situation with his father was a lot more serious that she had initially believed. Taking a deep breath she simply told him the truth. "You didn't ruin the night, Roy," she told him. He jumped, obviously not expecting her to be behind him. Riza couldn't quite explained why she had followed him out to the hall.
Because I got to spend it with you.
Those words that flitted through her head… In any other circumstance Riza would feel the need to say them. But in their situation… It crushed her knowing that she really wanted to tell him that, but it was for the best if she didn't. So, instead, she offered him a smile. It wasn't much, it wasn't enough, but it would do for now. God, she wanted to reach out and touch him, to do anything to wash away this change in his demeanour.
Why were things never easy with her?
No. This was for the best. Nothing had started between them and these feelings that had followed her like a shadow whenever he had been around lately could be squashed down and shoved into a box in the back of her mind. The memory of their "almost kiss" popped unbidden into her thoughts. Nothing had been discussed and at this time it would be pointless to do so. So Riza let it go. The universe obviously didn't want them to be together.
"Thank you."
Riza nodded as she opened the door for him. Then he walked out the door. And despite the internal packing in her mind, Riza couldn't help but hope their future hadn't gone out there with him.
Sleep didn't come easily to her. Roy was prominent in her thoughts. She tortured herself with thoughts of what they could possibly have had, of that "almost kiss", of the feeling of his hand in hers. At one point a tear had rolled down her cheek but she wiped it away quickly. The feelings still remained between them, despite her best efforts to shove them back, but the spark had been snuffed out before it had even been given the chance to grow.
One saving grace was Roy would never know just how badly this had affected her. She could put on a mask and put up a front of pretending everything was okay. Riza had become an expert at that over the years. She could blame the emotion of last night on the alcohol she had consumed.
James and Rebecca arrived around ten o'clock the next morning. Riza had busied herself with tidying up the apartment, anything to keep her mind off the man who lived next door. But it was over too quickly. So she opted to watch TV, but there was nothing that held her interest. Again, her thoughts returned to Roy.
She had fallen for him. She didn't know when it happened, but at the ball last night when he had held her in her arms as they danced she found herself not wanting to leave them. She felt safe there. Riza finally realised he felt like home.
"Hey Mum!" James called excitedly as he bounded through the hall. She grinned, despite the burning in her chest. At least she had James. But the thought saddened her as she realised that Roy didn't have anybody. That hurt more than it should have, to know that he was all alone next door.
"That's why I don't get close to anyone now."
"Hey James," she greeted enthusiastically, lifting him into her arms as she tried to drown out those words in her head. She hugged him tightly, embracing the comfort he brought with him.
"Hey," Rebecca grinned. She had a quick look around the room, no doubt looking for any unexpected guests. "Good night?" she asked, waggling her eyebrows.
Riza smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She nodded her head but the grin dropped from Rebecca's face.
"We had an awesome night! Didn't we Aunt Becca? We stayed up until eleven o'clock and watched two films! I ate all the popcorn," he laughed.
"Did you? No way!" Riza exclaimed. "Where is my popcorn?" she held out a hand as if expecting to be handed some as a gift.
James giggled. "I ate it all!"
Riza feigned shock, placing a hand on her chest. "James Hawkeye! You ate all the popcorn? How rude!" He giggled again and the sound made Riza grin. "Well, rude little boys get tickled as a punishment."
"No!" he shrieked as he squirmed out of her arms. He landed on the floor like a cat and sprinted to his room, laughing all the way.
The two woman watched him leave fondly. Rebecca turned to her and Riza knew what was coming. But from the look in Rebecca's eye, it seemed she had gotten the wrong impression.
"What happened?" There was her fierce protectiveness. The look on her face told Riza the brunette was ready to go next door and kick Roy's ass.
"Roy told me about his dad." That was all the explanation she needed, because her look turned to one of surprise, then sympathy.
"Riza…" Rebecca replied, but trailed off. Riza had never told her friend the extent of her feelings towards her neighbour, but Rebecca was incredibly perceptive, especially when it came to her. Riza knew that Rebecca was already aware. Instead of words, instead of possibly tipping James off, Rebecca squeezed her shoulder in sympathy. It was the comfort she needed. "I get it. If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me." Her pointed look indicated there would be an upcoming girl's night where they would discuss it all.
Riza nodded. She plastered a grin on her face as James peeked around the door, looking to see if his mother was going to try and chase him. He would never know what was going on. She knew he adored Roy and it would make it harder to explain to him that he couldn't go round as often as he had before. Riza had meant it when she said she wanted to remain friends with Roy. But James could never understand what was going. Not properly.
However, an upcoming play date with Roy came round sooner than either of them anticipated. The next weekend Riza had been called into work on Saturday. They were preparing for an audit and apparently someone had botched a report. Reluctantly, Riza agreed to go in and fix their work. Something told her that come Monday one of her colleagues would be gone, if the tone of her boss' voice was anything to go by.
"Are you sure this is all right?" Riza asked as she busied herself with getting ready for work. She was searching for her car keys which she had sworn she had left on the coffee table in her living room. Havoc and Rebecca were out of town for the weekend. They had returned to East City to visit Rebecca's parents. Mrs. Henderson across the hall was visiting her sister in North City so Roy was her only option of babysitter.
Roy was leaning against the door frame, arms folded across his chest, in that unfair way that he did. Riza tried not to appreciate how good he looked lounging against it in his t-shirt and shorts. Tried to. Knowing this would only make things harder, she gathered up her work bag and shrugged on her jacket.
"Of course. We will have fun, wont we James?"
"Yeah!" he shouted excitedly.
"I don't know how long I will be," Riza replied as she continued to look for her keys, frustration growing by the minute. "My boss said it would only be a couple of hours but I highly doubt it. This report took me two days to do last time."
Roy had entered the room and approached the kitchen. Riza paid him no mind as the search continued. She heard the tell-tale jingle of keys to her right. Roy held them out to her with a smile.
"Thank you."
"No problem. And take all the time you need. There is no rush."
"Still, I'd rather not be going in at all."
His crooked grin was back, the one she loved so much. "Don't worry about us. Here." Digging into his pockets, Roy produced a house key with a flourish. "If it is late feel free to come in and get him." He jerked his thumb in James' direction. "He might have tired me out enough that I'm asleep by the time you are home." James giggled.
Riza knew the social implications of receiving the key to Roy's apartment. She only wished that were the case, rather than this tip-toeing around they were doing now. She would have thought the pair would be safe in their own apartment building, but Roy had assured her that the Mayor "had his ways of knowing these things". The blonde had shuddered at the thought.
"I'll be as quick as I can."
Riza kissed James goodbye and warned him to be good. Five minutes later she was in her car and on her way to work, shoving down the feeling that she would have liked to spend the Saturday with them both rather than heading, alone, to an empty office.
AN: aaaannnd all is right with the world
well, the angst world anyway
sorry ;)
