Honour Thy Children

Chapter 9

Even though I know - I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold - like old Job

Despite all my rage

I'm still just a rat in a cage!

Then someone will say

What is lost can never be saved

Smashing Pumpkins-Bullet with Butterfly Wings

A/N: It's been a while. I didn't mean to abandon this fic. Real life became very difficult and I lost my way there. Constructive reviews are most welcome. Flames are not. Special thanks to Nickyfan for her encouraging words, constructive criticism and edits.

After having a wand drawn over them and their belongings searched, Brass, Sara and Nick walked through arches of the metal detector and met with Mr. Mark Jones, Head of the Prison. They followed the surly looking corrections officer through long hallways, their footsteps echoing the walls of the gloomy prison.

Mr. Mark Jones was a heavy set man with a kind rubbery face, dark brown eyes and wild bush black curly hair slicked back in almost a mullet causing Nick to have a humourous flash back to his own high school days-he never wore a mullet, but his friends did.

"Pavel Cane has been in here since 2005. He's a good prisoner other than still claiming his innocence which they all do." Jonas explained in a gruff voice. He motioned to a room where a tall, thin man with a point face and steely blue eyes sat nervously. When he saw Nick and Sara behind the glass windows he studied them like a biologist observing a flock of rare birds with eyes squinted as they finally settled on Nick.

Nick grew uncomfortable under the weight of the stare. Sara noticed and asked "Have you changed your mind?"

"No, not at all." He settled into a wooden chair outside the door. Prior to their arrival, Nick had agreed that Sara and Brass would question him on what he knew about the Maddison Conway case, while Nick was strictly there to find out more about the porn case.

Cane still bore an intense stare into him while Sara and Brass entered the room. The door closed behind them while Nick took a seat in a wooden chair uneasily and wiped his battle against exhaustion was proving futile as his lower back ached and the muscles in his shoulders tingled from spending hours upon hours at the computer. Add in the searing pain his right arm and tingling fingers, hell he was a mess.

Part of the glory of working in the field was not staying stationary all the time, his muscles worked in motion. Now he spent up to 12 hours a day at a computer and he hated it. He'd gained about 15 pounds in the past few months, but he was too emotionally spent to really do anything about it other than visit the gym when he got a chance.

At least he was doing some good for the kids out there.

His iPhone beeped. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the messages. It was from Mandy!

I'm fine, but please leave me alone. I need time. You really hurt me, Nick. But here is something for you to think about.

Nick scrolled down and noticed there was an attachment. He clicked on it.

It was her ultrasound. A 3D image of her baby! Nick could tell by the development it was between 16 to 20 weeks old. The world seemed to disappear around him as he brought a fist to his mouth as a sob threatened to emit from his chest. Now there was no safety zone he could flee to.

This is really happening Stokes! Get over yourself

Hot, scalding pools of tears formed in his eyes as he clicked off the iPhone and leaned back against the wall. Nick managed to watch the conversation. Sara was very intensely focused on him while she took down notes while Brass leaned back and nodded, his eyes surprisingly sympathetic.

Nick sighed heavily and leaned over, resting his face into his palms trying to focus on crisis at a time, each wanting to suck him into a vortex.

"Nick." Jim spoke.

Nick looked up. The detective was eyeing him strangely while Sara finished her talk with Mr. Cane.

"I'm fine." Nick answered before Brass could even ask and stood up abruptly. As he walked in the room he avoided at all costs Sara's own suspicious looks. He was convinced the brunette CSI could read him like a Dr. Suess book.

His attempts failed. As he brushed past Sara, he felt a hand squeeze his shoulder and her voice whispering, "We're going to have a long talk later."

Damn!

Pavel Cane sat at steel table, his thin lips curled into a smile.

Nick nodded his way and took seat across from him.

"So," He began as he set down his note pad and pen, "Tell me about Ben Seabird's little business venture!"

"He's a sociopath. It doesn't take a shrink to know that. He murdered that little girl. I know that. Why would a guy in his late twenties want to date a girl barely 18."

"And tell me about his website."

"He's not the only one in on it."

"Well, who is responsible for it?"

"Who do you think, Mr. Stokes?" Pavel leaned back and folded his boney arms across his chest, his orange suit hanging from his skeletal frame like a sheet on a clothesline. "You tell me who your suspect is and I'll confirm or deny your suspicions."

"Okay, I'll bite." Nick shrugged, "I suspect Brenda Cane is involved in it."

"Involved?" Pavel scoffed, "She runs the whole damn show! Ben just runs the site, but she's the entrepreneur."

Nick's eyes widened. He knew it.

"So why haven't you said anything until now?" He asked.

"You ever read Les Miserables?"

"Yeah, high school."

"Jean Valjean gets out of jail, yet he's still treated like a convict."

"So what's that got to do with this case?"

"Even if I'd said something, who was going to believe me?"

Nick couldn't answer that question because, well, Pavel was right. A criminal was always tarnished even if he served his time. He shuffled the pad a bit and mumbled, "Tell me what you know."

"Well...I'll start at the beginning. When I owned my club in Vegas about 30 years ago, she was 18 and I was 38. She just walked in looking for a job as a waitress, and I was smitten with her. She was blonde, blue eyed. She looked like one of those angels from Charlie's Angels."

Nick decided he'd never watch a rerun of that show again no matter how much enjoyed the jiggle fest.

Cane's eyes grew distant as he proverbially travelled back in time, "I hired her on the spot and within a year, she was on the floor. She was shy and sweet...and demure.."

Nick wanted to vomit, but Pavel's eyes grew dark as he muttered, "A hell of a good act, and I fell for it." He leaned back in his chair with an arm slung limply over the back, "Well, she was a canny girl, very smart and she was interested in my business. She had a good eye for detail, was great with customers and eventually I made her my assistant. The other girls hated her but well, maybe I should have listened to them." Pavel ran a hand across his five o'clock shadow on his pointy chin, "She didn't talk much about her past other than she was from Dallas and had left home at about 17 with some biker dude."

"Eventually, you both had a chain of strip clubs going." Nick scanned the file.

"Yeah, we did."

"When did you two marry?"

"When she turned 20 and then Sheila was born about eight years later."

Nick folded his arms, "When did the child porn start?"

Pavel's eyes grew distant, "I'm not sure. I know she met up with some of the clientele of our club and found out how lucrative it was. She started with these tapes she had."

A pounding commenced within him, and Nick cleared his throat, but when he spoke, his voice still came out an octave higher with a shake to it, "What tapes?"

"Some tapes she made of herself and these kids, little boys going back as far as 1982 or 83."

1980

"What was she doing in this video?"

Pavel snorted, "What do you think, Stokes? She wasn't playing Battleship, that's for fucking sure."

"She was molesting them." Nick grumbled.

"That's the polite way."

"Doesn't sound like you approve."

"What?" Pavel shot up, "You think because I owned a strip joint I like kiddie porn? I like naked women, not girls...women! I like watching ADULT naked woman, consenting woman, Stokes. These were…little kids...just...kids getting stuff...done to them…" He studied Nick for a long moment. "Their eyes haunted me. They were so full of fear."

Please stop. You're hurting me!

"There was this one kid, he had the darkest brown eyes I'd ever seen, like a puppy dog. He was the cutest little tyke I'd ever seen wearing Star War pyjamas." Pavel said, his eyes focussed on Nick who looked down at his pad, his hand barely holding the pen as he trembled.

"So why didn't you go to the police then?" he said feeling his throat tighten, tears threatening to make an appearance. His gut twisted.

"I don't know." Pavel's shoulders slumped with the burden, "I was...an idiot...in love with Brenda. I just thought it was some stupid phase she went through and it was all behind her."

"But it wasn't. One of those tapes was more recent. Do you know who the kid was?"

"Yeah, that was about 15 years ago. That was Matthew Taylor, our paper boy. He was around 10 at the time. Guess he'd be 25 now. I gave the family a shit load of money so they wouldn't go to the police."

Nick clicked his teeth and shook his head.

"What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Report it to the police."

"I couldn't."

"Why?"

"I didn't want to embarrass Sheila."

"Who was also a victim of Brenda's?"

"I didn't know that at the time!"

Nick leaned back into the chair and studied the file. Mr. Cane was being represented by John Lockyear of the Association for the Wrongly Accused. Flipping through the pages he couldn't help but feel the weight of Pavel's stare. It irritated him but before he could say anything the man spoke.

"You know, I used to be an artist. I drew faces. I was studying forensic art."

"So when did Brenda start her kiddie porn industry." Nick was undeterred.

"About 15 years ago. A few months after the paper boy." Mr. Cane was studying him carefully and tapping the file. "She must have met some guys in our club who connected her to them."

"Do you remember their names?"

"No, that time I had left the business to her and was working on becoming a forensic artist, learning how to age enhance people from their photos, primarily by computer, but I was pretty good and just doing by hand."

"Why are you telling me this?" Nick was getting irritated by these trivial facts. He couldn't care less.

"Sorry." Pavel continued, "Anyways, after Brenda and I established our chain of strip clubs, I decided to study my art and look after Sheila, but I knew something was up with Brenda. Her mood changed and everything, so I decided one day to do some snooping of my own."

"What did you find?"

"I found a lot of stuff, Mr. Stokes. I found CD's and hard drives. I found files on the computer of transactions and dates. I made copies of everything. I confronted Brenda about the extent of her business, warning her that I could use this against her in a divorce hearing and that was before I found the video of her and Sheila, by then she was 13. It's funny I got arrested not long after I confronted her about it."

"And you still didn't go to the police." Nick felt a stir of rage. At least one of these kids could have pressed charges against Brenda as he himself didn't have the guts to do so.

"No. I began to file for a divorce."

"And somehow a body was found in your trunk."

"Yeah, three days after I reported my car missing."

"And drugs as well."

"Yes...three days after my car was found missing." Pavel repeated "I'm still in jail, but I have something you might find interesting. I know it's been awhile, but I still have the key to my lock box in the attic of the house. I don't think Brenda even knew it existed. My original lawyer kept it for me and now Mr. Lockyear has it and I'll let him know you can have access to it. It's full of copies of the files from when she first started. It's not a lot but her name is all over it. There're discs and everything including copies of her very first tapes."

Nick's eyes widened. "Do you think she's connected to the Maddison Conway case?"

"Let me tell you something about people who watch kiddie porn, Stokes. They watch it once and they want more, the more they want, the more violent they want it. The more violent ones fetch the big bucks. I bet Brenda made a pot full on that video. I don't think she killed the kid, but she orchestrated it. If you can find proof of that, you can send her to jail."

Nick felt a surge of adrenalin in him, his instincts were correct.

"And then you can finally have your justice, Nicky."

The air in his lungs evaporated as Nick stared at Pavel Cane in horror.

"When I studied forensic art, I used some of the software from the course to age enhance the kids on her videos. It wasn't easy because I didn't have the parents photos to work from, so I guessed. I was pretty accurate with you." He pulled a sheet out of the file. "Brenda got rid of everything, but I drew the pictures from memory, I have photographic memory."

Before Nick could say something, Pavel slid an envelope towards him. Nick shoved it under his notepad.

"Eyes are usually the same no matter how old you grow, Nicky." The old man stared at him sympathetically, "That's why I asked for you. I saw you on TV and well, I thought you'd want some closure. It wasn't your fault. She was and still is a sick, sick bitch."

Nick's legs were shaking as he turned his eyes to his note pad.

Pavel continued, "I'm not saying my girl is innocent, Nick, but who the hell knows what went on after I went to jail." He cleared his throat, "How come you never told your parents?"

Nick refused to acknowledge Pavel's accurate observation, but did ask, "How come Sheila never came to you?"

"Touché." Pavel said, "I guess if you had, I would have never met the bitch and my life would have been uneventful so to speak." He shrugged "But...it's not fair of me to blame another victim of Brenda...she might have talked her way out of that one..."

Nick folded his arms. He refused to confirm or deny Pavel's observation. Hell no.

"I just want this woman to be put away for good. I've been trying to convince people for years but no one listened to me." Pavel shook his head, "I never had anything to do with any Russian mob, but Brenda sure did. She had them involved in the strip joint business and hell they were the ones who helped her set up her porn site. You see, there are no laws in Russia about child porn, so that's where the websites are set up. That's where the transactions are done. That's where the porn is filtered."

"What about Seabird?"

"Oh he designed the site, he was good at that stuff, but the ISP and all the crap, Russia...it's a huge market over there." He smiled, "I bet you're having trouble finding some of those kids. You see?"

Nick didn't anything but narrowed his eyes.

"That's because many of the assaults are out of the country."

"Yeah, I know. I just found some girl in England."

"Yeah, and Russia is a hot bed for it. Hell in some parts of Europe, there's a conspiracy theory about that politicians are all in on it."

"There's no proof." Nick shook his head.

"No proof either way, but just because someone holds office, doesn't mean they don't like kiddie porn."

"Yeah, I know that…but tell me more about Brenda's empire."

"It grew, by Jesus, it grew. I think when the chain of strip clubs started to grow, she networked and met people who got her going. She started with those video tapes."

Nick swallowed.

"She made copies and sent them out all over the country, all over the world."

Nick swallowed a wad of bile.

"After that, she got into the print stuff. This mobster guy got her going. Then the internet...then man did it explode. She had P2Ps going. She never really looked at the stuff, only made sure the perverts got what they want."

"How many in this ring?"

"My files will tell you. I don't know how outdated they are."

"Roughly, how many video tapes were sent out of those kids?"

"I think about 500."

Oh fuck! He'd have to walk through the streets from now on wondering who could tell and who couldn't.

"You know, most people can't tell the kid from the adult, only I can because I'm an artist and I'm trained for it."

"Why do you keep bringing this up?"

"Why won't you open the envelope?"

Nick tore it up and stared at it. His head swam as he realize he was looking at a very remarkably correct drawing of his own face.

"How do I know you didn't just draw this from a website of me or something?"

"Look at the date."

Nick stared down...1997...

"You could have faked it."

"No...I couldn't have..."

Nick turned around and waved him off, "Thanks for the info, Cane, and you know for this...I'll open your case when I get back as a CSI and see what I can do for you…"

"Nicky."

"My name is Nick Stokes!" he barked as turned around once more.

Cane stared at him pitifully, "You weren't to blame."

Nick's jaw clenched as he walked out.

xxXXxx

"Guess you won't share what Cane told you?"

Sara stared over at Nick who shook his head, "I don't think it would help your case other than he thinks Brenda is behind the whole porn industry."

"He told me he doesn't think Sheila was even in the car, that it was probably Brenda who video taped the whole thing."

"Well...Sheila was confused about where Maddison's body was." Nick commented.

"Well, we didn't hear Sheila on the video." Sara mumbled, "But we never paid much attention to the audio, just the video portion of it."

Nick nodded, "Well, I guess we could have Archie go over the audio portion to see if we can hear anything specific, but do we have any videos of Brenda?"

Sara was quiet then brightened, "Didn't she have an incident with the media at the courthouse?"

Nick grew eager, "Yeah, she did. They were bugging her and she told them to fuck off."

"We could have them send the video over and have Archie run a comparison."

"What about the car seat?"

Sara shook her head, "We found some nail polish on the floor, but we assumed it was Sheila's. But she never really wore make up when she turned herself in."

"Well," Nick smiled, "Since I have to get a key from Cane's lawyer, I can ask Brass to get a search warrant for the house again."

Sara grinned, "You haven't lost your touch Nicky."

"No," Nick nodded as a small smile tugged the cornrs of his lip, "I haven't."

"But, your conversation looked rather intense." Sara commented, "What else did you two talk about?"

"Nothing important, but he wants to me look into his case that put him in jail to begin with." Nick shrugged, "I'll do it when I get back."

"Your face said something different Nick." Sara eyed him carefully, "He gave you something."

"Sara, let's just drop it, please." Nick implored.

"If you want..."

"Never mind...Sara..."

Sara grew quiet and then said, "I know something is going on with you and I have a feeling it's because a certain lab rat has been gone."

Nick sighed heavily and looked at the window watching homeless people live out meager existences. Maybe he should join them...simply just grab a buggy from Wal-Mart and eat out of a dumpster.

"Nick?"

"Sara, can we just get back to the case and not talk about my personal life. It's off limits."

"And I think sometimes that's your problem, Nick. You bottle everything up. You don't deal with stuff. You just stuff it away. You were completely untouchable after Warrick died. You wouldn't let anyone talk about what happened to you after your kidnapping. You just put this facade on and hide from us. You think of us as family, but at the same time it's like after 10 years, we don't know you at all."

"So, I keep a distance."

"Yeah, but you've got a lot going on especially after joining this team. I can't imagine what you go through…"

"Drop it Sara!" Nick's mouth grew thin, "I mean it."

Sara slumped behind the wheel, but then asked, "You heard Mandy is pregnant?"

Nick swallowed and then chose his next words, "I wouldn't know anything since I've been working in another department."

"She's coming back next week apparently. Ecklie asked her if she wanted to switch to days, but she said no." Sara eyed him carefully, "She's between four or five months."

"Who told you all this?"

"Hodges."

"He really should keep his big mouth shut." Nick's jaw clenched and felt his nostrils flare.

"Nick," Sara said quietly knowing full well she was unleashing an angry dog from its chain, "If you want to talk about anything, I'm here for you and no matter what you tell me, I'll never judge you, okay?"

Nick cleared his throat and nodded, "Thanks, Sara. I really, really don't think I can handle any more judgment from anyone."

Sara grew quiet and said, "You know I told Grissom years ago I was scared to have kids because of something that happened in my family…and...I always worried I'd pass on bad genes."

Nick said, "Sara, I won't confirm or deny anything but I see kids tortured every day and I see kids in pain and I see kids losing their parents and I just wonder how society just keeps going."

"Because we don't have a choice and there's always a glimmer of hope the world will eventually turn out right." Sara said.

"So how come you and Grissom aren't having kids?"

"Who said we weren't?" Sara smiled.

"Kind of hard to do when one's in France and the other's in the US." Nick laughed.

Sara blushed and then grinned, "We find ways." She winked as she continued, "I'm glad I could at least give you a laugh."

"I'm glad you're finally happy, Sara." Nick said as he pulled into the parking lot.

"Well, we both deserve happiness." Sara said as she gathered her belongings.

Nick stared for a second and asked, "Sara, if... you got pregnant and Grissom kind of froze and bailed...would you forgive him?"

Sara's eyes widened for a second and she scrunched her face as she mulled it over, "Well, Grissom never reacts to really anything like everyone else, but I think I would. I'd want to know why first, but he'd probably look at me like a lost puppy and I'd feel some sympathy and take him back." She shrugged, "But that's me, Nick, and I pined for him for years...so...I wouldn't let him go so fast."

"Especially with a baby on the way."

"Well a lot of women do it on their own, Nick, but that doesn't mean they want to do it on their own."

Nick's phone beeped and he read it.

We're about to take part in a porn ring bust...here's the address STAT-Julia

Grinning, Nick said, "Gotta go meet my team...my other team...at this place…about to bust a ring we've been watching for weeks."

Sara opened the door and said, "I'll talk to you later. Go get 'em!"

"I will." Nick looked up at her, "Sara what we just talked about...can we just keep it a secret?"

"Absolutely." Sara assured him. "I promise."

As he drove away listening to the Smashing Pumpkins, Nick thought to himself there was another reason. What kid would want a father who was molested? What kid would want to shoulder the burden of his secret along with him?

No kid of his.

It was better he stayed away from Mandy and his future child. They deserved a better man than him.

With this thought, Nick turned his attention to his new found passion: ridding the world of scum who spent their days watching kids like him being attacked.