So, after reading MissTiff12's excellent fic "Value", which you need to go read right now, especially if you're a fan of this pairing, I realized that I don't write enough of Maka and Crona outside of the theater. I do, however, reference things quite a bit.

One of those references stuck in my mind quite a bit. I started to think about just how that incident would play out…and one thing led to another…and, well, you see the results before you.

I'm probably going to regret writing this at some point, but after being so damn serious with this for so long, I need to write some humour. Or what I think is funny, but whatever.

WARNING!: The following is without a doubt the crackiest thing I have ever written. If you don't think you can handle such madness, turn away now and wait for the next review. If you can, make sure your tongues are planted firmly in your cheeks and your serious caps are taken off, because this is not meant to be realistic at all.

And awaaaaaaay we go.

/

Maka sometimes wondered what it would be like to live alone.

Not that she had a problem living with Soul and Blair, but there were a few issues with it. Privacy was scarce when living with others, so she would sometimes have to wander off somewhere else when she needed to be alone. And while she loved Soul and Blair like family, naturally, there were times when they got on her nerves. Particularly when Blair would rub herself all over Soul, giving him yet another nosebleed. It wouldn't bother her so much if she didn't know that some part of Soul enjoyed the attention.

Still, she had got used to the idea. Which is why she didn't see a problem with giving Crona a key to their apartment, as well as free reign to pop in any time. After all, she had gotten closer with the timid swordsman, and didn't think there would be a problem with letting him visit whenever he wanted to. Sure, that meant he would probably be over every day, but Maka saw no issue with that.

And while there had been one or two minor incidents, usually involving Blair being…well, Blair, and Crona locking himself in the closest room he could find, for the most part, he had been his usual polite, gentle self.

Looking back on it, Maka thought she should've known better.

She immediately noticed that something was wrong when she came home to find Blair sitting outside of their apartment room, covered in yarn. For once, Blair was completely speechless, just staring straight ahead, mouth hanging open in shock.

"Blair…?" Maka wondered. "What're you doing out-EEP!"

Maka was cut off by Blair jumping to her feet, dashing over to her and grabbing her by the shoulders. Her face had quickly changed to one of pure panic.

"Maka! You have to do something about him! He's completely lost his mind!"

Maka blinked, holding up her hands in front of her. "Whoa, whoa, calm down, Blair. Who's lost his mind?"

"The cute little swordsman! I thought you said he was nice! He's acting like a total maniac!"

Cute little swordsman? Maka wondered, before her eyes widened in understanding. "Wait…you mean Crona?"

Blair nodded, which flat out scared Maka. Oh God, I thought he was done with the Madness!

"It was horrible!" Blair continued. "The door was open when I got here, so I figured he had come to visit. So I went in to play with him, but then he threw a ball of yarn at me! He was running all around me, untying the yarn and spinning it, and then he started barking at me! He got down on all fours, just like a dog, and kept barking and growling at me! I got scared and ran out here, and he locked the door behind me!"

Maka simply stared at Blair, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. OK…that definitely doesn't sound like Crona under the Madness…or Crona at all, for that matter.

"…are you sure this is Crona you're talking about?" Maka asked.

"What, does he have a twin who also happens to be a swordsman? …and if he does, could you introduce us?"

"Blair!"

"What? I wouldn't hurt him! I'd just play with him and hug him and pet him and squeeze him…"

Maka sighed, pulling herself away from Blair and walking over to her door. She pulled out her key and slowly unlocked the door, carefully pushing it open and peeking inside.

"Crona…? Are you in here…? Is everything O-" Maka stopped when she saw just what had happened to her apartment and what Crona was now doing. "…K?"

It wasn't so much the opened cupboards, the random foods laying about, or the knocked over chairs that bothered Maka. No, what stuck on in Maka's mind was that Crona was somehow laying on the top of their sofa, balancing himself on his stomach, arms and legs stretched out. And that he was making some strange vroom sound.

"…uh…" was all that could escape Maka's mouth.

"Look!"

Maka jumped slightly as Crona pointed skyward, still laying on his stomach.

"Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Super CronAH!"

The last part of Crona's cheer trailed off into a shout, as Crona had rolled off of the sofa and landed on the floor behind it. Maka was about to go and see if he was OK, but he immediately sat up, arms crossed and a look of triumph on his face.

"Hah! Falling from dizzying heights is nothing for the invincible Super Crona!"

Maka simply stared at Crona in disbelief as he gave rather loud, boastful laughs. Every part of her mind was trying to think of just why Crona was acting the way he was, and nothing could be thought of.

She then jumped slightly as Crona abruptly turned his head, noticing her for the first time.

"Maka!"

Maka was very surprised at how quickly Crona had jumped to his feet, dashed forward and wrapped Maka up in a hug.

"Hi Maka! I missed you!" Crona exclaimed, a big dopey smile on his face as he nuzzled under Maka's chin.

OK…what the hell am I supposed to do? Maka wondered as she gently patted Crona's back. She figured she should at least play along, as just flat out asking what happened would probably scare this extremely hyper Crona.

"Um…I missed you too, Crona!"

Crona was somehow able to dislodge himself from under Maka's chin without crashing into her, and was now staring into Maka's eyes, the huge smile still on his face.

"Did'ja? Did'ja really?"

"Um…of course I did!"

Crona gave a very barely contained "eeee" of joy and resumed nuzzling Maka's shirt. "You missed meeeeeeee…"

Maka could feel her face flushing in response to the undivided attention she was receiving, as well as the rather…close contact. Naturally, Blair chose right then to peek into the room.

"Dear God…I think that might've been the cutest squeal I ever heard."

Before Maka could respond to Blair, Crona somehow spun the two of them around, both of their sides now facing the doorway. Still hanging onto Maka, he dislodged his head again and leaned towards Blair.

"Arararararar!"

The loud, rapid barking was enough to send Blair back out of the room, giving a small squeak of fright. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Crona glared at where Blair was. "You're a bad kitty! I don't like you, bad kitty!"

Maka could swear she heard a small whimper coming from outside, followed by "not a bad kitty…" She then turned to look at Crona again, who had released her and had grabbed both of her hands, putting them together in front of her.

"Hey, hey, Maka! Did I ever tell you how much I like your name?"

Maka blinked, face still red. "Uh…no, no you didn't…"

"It's so much fun to say! Ma-ka. Ma-ka. Ma-ka." Crona sang, head bobbing from side to side while doing so. "It has such a nice ring to it! Each syllable has two letters, and they're symmetrically divided too! Oooh, Kid would like that! And it's so much fun to play with, too! Like this! Maaaaaaaaaka. Maaaaaaaka. Or Makaaaaaaaaa. Makaaaaaaaaaa. No, wait, the second one sounds too much like I'm whining. Oh, and it's really short too, so I can say it really fast! Like this! -"

Maka quickly pulled her hands out from Crona's, placing them on his shoulders in an attempt to get him to calm down. Crona simply blinked at Maka in confusion.

"OK…Crona…" Maka said very slowly. "I need you to tell me exactly what you did when you got here."

Crona stared at Maka for a minute, not making any movements to speak. He then gave a wide smile, eyes closed.

"Your eyes are pretty, Maka."

Maka blushed, sputtering slightly in surprise. "C…Crona, focus…"

Crona's eyes opened. "Oh! Right, right! Well, the door was locked when I first came here, so I used my key to let myself in. You said I could, you did, you diiiiid!"

Maka sighed. "Yes, yes I did…"

"So I sat on the couch when I saw that no one was home, and I was just waiting for you to get back! But then I got hungry, so I went looking for a snack…that's not rude or anything, is it?"

"No, that's fine, Crona…"

"Oh, good! So I was looking around and I found some chocolate jellybeans! I didn't even know they made those! And I hope you don't mind, but they tasted so good, and before I knew it, I ate them aaaaaaaaall up!"

Maka blinked. "…Crona…they don't make chocolate jellybeans."

Crona frowned, holding up a plastic bag. "Then what'd I eat?"

Maka took the bag, reading the label that was on it. Her eyes narrowed as she saw just what the bag's contents really were.

"…Crona…these are chocolate-covered coffee beans."

"Is that bad?"

"Yes, it's way more sugar and caffeine than anyone needs in-" Maka looked up as she continued, but stopped when she noticed that Crona had moved.

"…Crona, what are you doing?"

"Trying to grab your ceiling fan!"

"…why are you trying to grab our ceiling fan?"

"Because I wanna swing off of it!"

"…why do you want to swing off of it?"

"Because I wanna be a monkey!"

"Why do you…never mind."

Maka turned back to the bag, ignoring Crona's attempts at stretching for the fan. I knew Soul getting these was a bad idea…and why did he have to get such a big bag?

She sighed, placing the bag in her pocket and quickly forming a plan. OK…I just keep Crona in here until he calms down…Soul's busy with a Death Scythe briefing and Blair's pretty much…occupied right now, so it'll be just him and me…I can keep him under control, no problem.

"Hey, Maka!"

Maka looked up at the sound of Crona's voice. "Yes, Cro-Crona, what are you doing?"

Crona was now perched on the open windowsill, legs positioned for a jump.

"Watch me!"

With that, Crona jumped out of the window, tucking his arms and legs in.

"CANNONBAAAAAAAALL!"

"CRONA!"

THUD!

Maka dashed to the window as fast as she could and looked down. She saw Crona sitting in a rather small crater, giving rather loud shouts of pain.

"OwowowowowOW! That huuuuuuuurt!"

Maka gave a loud sigh of relief, slumping over the windowsill. I never thought I'd be thankful that he has the black blood…or that there are only two floors to this apartment…

Just then, that familiar splortch echoed through the area, as Ragnarok burst out from Crona's back, already more than upset.

"Why in the flyingest of fucks did you do that? Have you finally gone full-on psycho?"

Crona got to his feet, brushing the dirt off of his behind as Ragnarok surveyed the damage.

"Jesus! Just look at what your fat ass did to the sidewalk!"

"Hey! At least I have an ass!"

"…what the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! You have no ass! You are literally minus an ass!"

Ragnarok stared at Crona in disbelief. "…the fuck is your point?"

"My point is that the only reason you make fun of my ass is because you're jealous! Not only because I have an ass and you don't, but because I was blessed with such a wonderfully perfect ass!"

Ragnarok stared at Crona for a moment, before looking up at Maka. "What the fuck did you do to him, flat-chest? Did you slip him some meds or some-ACK!"

Crona cut Ragnarok off mid-sentence by pushing on the back of his head, forcing Ragnarok to look down.

"Go ahead! Stare at it! Be jealous of my ass!"

"What? Dude, no! I don't want to look at your ass!"

"Look at my perfectly voluptuous ass!"

"NO! Screw you, I'm out of here!"

With that, Ragnarok quickly retreated back to Crona's body, though this didn't stop Crona from continuing with the subject.

"No, screw you, Ragnarok! You know I have the sexiest ass in existence, but you just refuse to admit it! Well, fine! If you won't say it, I'll get someone else to!"

Crona turned, facing Shibusen Academy and taking a deep breath.

"I am the sexiest beast in the world, and I must make sure everyone knows it!"

Crona then dashed off towards the Academy, running faster than Maka had ever seen anyone run, much less Crona.

OK…to recap. Maka thought. Crona's hyped up on way too much sugar and caffeine, and is now loose in the streets of Death City, with his sights set on the Academy. Where everyone else is. With him willing to say or do anything.

It was no surprise that Maka then turned and ran out the door as fast as she could.

/

"Ugh…why do we have to go to school when it's so hot out?" Kim wondered aloud.

Jacqueline shrugged. "Well, we do live in Nevada…that pretty much covers just about every day."

"But can't Lord Death do something about that? I mean, he's Death. He should be able to do something about the weather."

"…what does one have to do with the other?"

"You know what I-OOF!"

"OOF!"

The girls' conversation was cut off due to being bowled over by some strange pink-and-black blur, which also fell over beside them. Kim soon sat up, rubbing her head in pain.

"Owwwww! Why don't you watch where you're going, you-"

She then looked up to see Crona on his knees, staring at her with an expression of shock on his face.

"…hey, you're that Crona guy, right? What's the deal? Why'd you run me over?"

Crona's jaw dropped open, and Kim noticed that he had crawled over so that he was closer to her. She noticed that he was still staring at her, in particular her face.

"…what?"

"Oh. My. God."

Kim then squeaked in surprise as Crona grabbed her head and pushed it down slightly, his eyes now staring at the top of it.

"You have pink hair!"

Kim knocked his hands away as she looked back up at Crona. "So do you! What's your point?"

"That is my point! How did I not notice this sooner? What are the chances of someone else with pink hair being in my neighbourhood?"

Crona then gave a long gasp as an idea entered his head. He quickly grabbed both of Kim's hands and held them in front of her.

"What if we're related? What if you're actually my long lost sister? That would be so cool! I've never had a sister before!"

Kim just stared at Crona, completely lost as to what he was talking about. Not that that stopped him from doing so.

"But wait! You're a witch, so maybe it's just a witch thing! But I'm not a witch…but my mother was a witch! And a bitch. Hey, that rhymed! Bitch witch! Witch bitch! Witchy bitch! Bitchy witch!"

Crona then let go of Kim's hands and got to his feet, suddenly jumping around while breaking into song.

"My mother was a bitchy witch,

My mother was a bitchy witch,

My mother was a bitchy wiiiiiiiiitch…

And then I stabbed her dead! Whee!"

Crona then spun in a circle, before looking at Kim again. "We should hang out! I hardly know you and we could be family! Oh, but I got things to do, so maybe another time!"

He then turned to look at Jacqueline. "Hi and bye, other-person-I-don't-really-know!"

With that, Crona dashed off towards the Academy, leaving Kim and Jacqueline on the ground, completely lost and stunned.

"…Jacqueline?"

"Yes, Kim…?"

"What the hell just happened?"

/

If Crona could look back on this moment, he would probably wonder how in the hell he was moving so fast. Apparently high dosages of sugar and caffeine was enough to make even someone as slow and clumsy as him move as though they had been training in track and field their entire life. Not that Crona was thinking about that right now…or much of anything for that matter.

Going to the Academy for no good reasoooooon…wait, was that Kid?

He came to a halt on the Academy steps, making a sound that was very similar to tires screeching. He looked back and saw that he had indeed passed by Death the Kid, as well as both of the Thompson Sisters on his way up. He turned and ran back down, stopping beside the trio.

"Hey, hey! Kid!"

Kid blinked in surprise. "Er…what is it, Crona?"

"Look at my hair!"

Kid looked up at Crona's head. "…yes, it is very…pink, Crona."

"No, no!" Crona shouted, grabbing a few strands of hair and tugging at them. "Look! One of my bangs is shorter than the other!"

Naturally, once Kid had noticed that this was, in fact, true, his jaw dropped and he gave a loud shout of horror. "AGH! IT IS!"

"Yes! Yes it is! And some of my bangs are cut, while other ones aren't! Some of the hair on my left side is longer than on my right! My hair is completely asymmetrical!"

Kid had dropped to his knees as Crona explained this, hands on the sides of his head as he screamed at the top of his lungs. Not that this stopped Crona. In fact, it seemed to encourage him, as he leaned over Kid, continuing to tug at his hair.

"No! No! Crona, please, stop!"

"Yeeeees! Fear my asymmetry! Fear it! Feeeeeeeear it!"

By this point, Kid had curled up into a ball on the steps of the Academy, crying and begging for it all to end. "Stop iiiiiiiiiit…"

Crona straightened up, wide dopey grin on his face as he looked at the Thompsons. Liz, naturally, was staring at Crona as though he had gone completely insane. Patty, on the other hand, was giggling as she usually did. Patty seemed like more fun to Crona, so he talked to her.

"Hey, hey! Patty!"

"What, what, Crona?"

"Listen to my song!"

"OK!"

Crona took a deep breath, then began to sing.

"Miiiiiiss Landers was a health nut, she cooked food in her wok,

Mr. Harris was her boyfriend, and he had a great big-

Cock-a-doodle-doodle, the rooster just won't quit,

and I don't want my breakfast, because it tastes like-

Shi Tzus make good house pets, they're cuddly and sweet,

monkeys aren't good to have because they like to beat their-

Meeting in the office, a meeting in the hall,

the boss wants to see you, so you can suck his-

Balzac was a writer, he lived with Allen Funt,

Mrs. Roberts doesn't like him, but that's 'cause she's a-

Contaminated water can really make you sick,

your bladder gets infected, and blood comes out your-

Dictate what I'm saying, 'cause it will bring you luck,

and if you all don't like it I don't give a flying fu-"

"CRONA!"

Crona stopped singing, though he had achieved his purpose, as Patty was rolling around, howling with laughter. He looked for the source of the voice, and saw Maka running towards the stairs.

"Uh-oh! That's my cue!"

Liz looked at Crona, asking the first question that came to her mind. "Wait…why is Maka chasing you?"

Crona grinned. "Oh, we're just playing the greatest game of tag ever! Maka's It, though she doesn't really know that…anyway, gotta go!"

With that, Crona dashed up to the Academy, leaving Liz with a crying Kid and a laughing Patty.

story of my life. Liz thought just as Maka ran up to her, stopping and gasping for breath.

"Was Crona just here…?" Maka asked.

Liz stared at Maka for a second, then pointed at both Patty and Kid. "What do you think?"

Maka looked at the curled up Kid, who was still sobbing slightly and muttering something about a haircut. She looked at Patty, who was now sitting up, wiping away tears of laughter.

"…wow."

"Yeah." Liz replied. "You want to explain what's gotten into him?"

"Whatever it is, he needs to do it more often!" Patty exclaimed. "He's a lot more fun like this!"

Maka stared at Patty for a moment, before leaning over at Liz and whispering in her ear.

"Whatever you do, make sure she does not decide to buy any chocolate-covered coffee beans."

Liz stared at Maka, looking at her as though she had spontaneously told her she was from the planet Xygbar 2.

"You're telling me to make sure Patty doesn't go near chocolate-covered coffee beans."

"…good point."

Maka then ran past Liz and up the stairs, one question running through her mind.

How the hell is he moving so damn fast?

/

In Crona's now very scattered mind, he was the most elite of secret agents. He deftly zipped from point to point, carefully making his way down the hall after an easy entrance into the Academy. He would've been humming the Mission Impossible theme, but that would've given him away.

He peeked around a corner, and saw his targets: Black*Star and Tsubaki, walking away from him.

Target acquired. he thought.

He jumped out from his position, ran forward, and jumped up…onto Tsubaki's back.

"Surprise piggyback ride!"

"ACK!"

"What the hell?"

Tsubaki wobbled around, just barely staying on her feet while Crona giggled like a madman. He leaned over her head, looking down as she looked up at him.

"C-Crona?"

"Hi hi!"

Crona then got off of Tsubaki's back, the suddenly release of weight causing her to fall to her knees. He dashed in front of her, leaning down.

"Hey, hey! Tsubaki!"

"…yes, Crona?"

"I'm cute, right?"

"…w-what?"

Crona started poking his own cheeks. "Admit it! I am cute! I'm positively adorable! You can't resist this face, no one can!"

He leaned further forward, his face almost uncomfortable close to Tsubaki's. "You're an expert on the subject! I know you like-a the cute!"

He then blinked, suddenly thoughtful. "Or…wait, maybe that's another tall pretty girl with long, dark hair I'm thinking about…"

Wait…did he just call me pretty? Tsubaki wondered, but quickly forgot about it when Crona was looking at her again.

"C'mon! I'm totally cute! Riiiiight?"

"Um…s-sure?"

Crona straightened up, face triumphant. "See? I totally knew it!"

He then turned to Black*Star, jumping over in front of him.

"Hey, hey! Black*Star!"

"What?"

Crona looked at Black*Star, then looked down. Black*Star couldn't quite tell just what he was looking at, but when he looked back up, he noticed a very uncharacteristic grin was on Crona's face. Almost like he knew some big secret and was just begging to tell him.

"…I'm totally bigger than you."

"…WHAT?"

"Also!"

Crona reached over and grabbed Black*Star's scarf, unwrapping it and pulling it off of him.

"Hey!"

"This scarf is way too cool for you!"

Crona then quickly wrapped the scarf around his own neck, deftly tying it tight enough so it wouldn't fall off.

"See? It looks so much better on me!"

Crona then turned, shouted "away!", and ran off.

Both Black*Star and Tsubaki stared at Crona as he ran away, what he just said to them still being processed in their minds. Finally, Black*Star turned to Tsubaki.

"…Crona's finally snapped, hasn't he?"

/

BOOM!

Six heads turned to look at Crona as he burst into the classroom, wondering why he was frantically looking around the room. Kilik then saw that Crona noticed him, and instinctively got on guard as Crona dashed towards him.

Crona stared at Kilik for a moment, then looked at his two partners, Fire and Thunder. He then leaned forward and whispered in Kilik's ear.

"Dude…you hang around with two kids...creeeeeeepyyyyyyyy…"

"…wait, what?"

He didn't get any more than that, as Crona ran past him and stopped in front of Ox and Harvar. Crona looked back and forth between the two of them, before grabbing Ox by the shirt and pulling him aside, thinking he was out of Harvar's earshot.

"Pssst…I think Harvar's got a crush on you…"

Ox stared at Crona. "…what?"

"Dude, he's got to! I mean, you're the only person he hangs around with, and he isn't exactly interested in Jacqueline, is he? Plus there's that whole weapon partner thing…though if that's true, that totally ruins my chances with Maka…oops! Did I say that last part out loud?"

Crona then let go of Ox, leaning over him with an evil smirk on his face. "Buuuuut, maybe I'm lying! Maybe I'm just saying all this to mess with your head! Your bald, shiny head that hides your enormous brain!"

He then started poking Ox's head. "See, you're almost as smart as Maka is-"

"Almost?"

"-which means that you must think about stuff an awful lot! And since you don't know if I'm lying or not, that means you're going to be wondering whether or not this is really true, and that means you're have a ton of sleepless nights, and it could totally ruin your relationship with your partner!"

His constant poking had pushed Ox to his knees, his mind already wondered about the possibility of his partner having a gay crush on him. Is Harvar gay? I mean, I've never seen him with a girl…or anyone besides me-NO! Stop that! That's just what he wants you to think!

"One, two, Crona's coming for you…

Three, four, better lock your door…

Five, six, grab a crucifix…

Seven, eight, gonna stay up late…

Nine, ten, NEVER SLEEP AGAIN!"

Crona then threw his head back, giving a loud, evil laugh, full of "mwas" and "hahas", which actually impressed one Professor Stein, who was sitting at the front of the classroom, watching the chaos.

Who knew Crona had such a good evil laugh? he thought. …wait, why is he laughing evilly, anyway?

He was jolted out of his thoughts as Crona dashed up to him, face beaming in delight.

"Hey, hey! Professor Stein!"

"…what is it, Crona?"

"Why do you dissect stuff?"

"…because I like to see how things work."

"Why?"

"Because I'm curious by nature."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a scientist."

"Why?"

"…because it's what I've always wanted to be."

"Why?"

"Because I want to learn more."

"Why?"

"…because I like learning."

"Why?"

"Because it's fun."

"Why?"

"…because that's what I learned from my parents."

"Why?"

"Because that's how they raised me."

"Why?"

"…because they were my parents."

"Why?"

"…because they loved each other very much."

"Why?"

"Because-"

"CRONA!"

Crona blinked. "Whoops! Talk later, gotta go!"

With that, Crona dashed back out the door and down the hall, leaving six people utterly confused. Stein quietly wheeled his chair over to the doorway, just as Maka stopped in front of it, gasping for breath.

"…what's gotten into Crona?"

Maka pulled out the plastic bag and handed it to Stein. "This, that's what…"

Stein examined the label on the bag while Maka continued to catch her breath.

"…oh dear."

"Yeah…but I have to admit, he's acting crazier than I expected…"

Stein handed the bag back to Maka, before placing a cigarette in his mouth and lighting it.

"You have to remember, Maka, Crona is someone who has had criminally few experiences in life. I'd be very surprised if Medusa ever gave him something as simple as a hard candy, let alone…these. And when you take into account his usual reserved nature, and the fact that he apparently ate quite a few of these-"

"He did."

"-then this reaction isn't wholly unexpected. The sheer amount of sugar and caffeine running through his body has removed all willingness to think about his actions. He has, if I may use the Freudian term, gone full Id."

He took a drag off the cigarette and exhaled into the air, careful not to blow the smoke in Maka's direction. "Though, that does beg the question…"

"What?"

"Why would Crona want to play the "why" game with me?"

"…the why game?"

"Yes. Where you respond with every question you're given with "why". I was under the impression children only played that game with parental figures."

Maka and Stein stared at one another for a short while, Maka wondering if the implications were clear to Stein. If they were, he didn't show it, as he simply shrugged and resumed smoking.

"…so what should I do?" Maka asked.

"Well, as I said, his inexperience with the substances, as well as the sheer amount of both, were the causes of this effect. Likewise, when his rush ends, he will crash, and he will crash very hard. Where was he before he became like this?"

"My place, on my couch."

"Then I suggest that when he crashes, you take him back there as quickly as possible. And, for the sake of his very fragile self-esteem, we should act as though nothing happened today."

Maka sighed, straightening up. "Don't have to explain that to me…"

She then ran off in Crona's direction, Stein watching her go. As he took another drag off of his cigarette, one thought entered his mind.

Who knew he could run so fast?

/

"…and so, while there has been little activity from the witches lately, we cannot afford to rest on our laurels. With the Kishin Asura still out there, and still no sign of the Book of Eibon, it's highly likely our next attack could come at any time."

Soul rolled his eyes as Lord Death continued his speech. In other words, all we can do is sit on our asses and wait for something to happen…geez, I could've told them that, and I wouldn't have needed to take this long to do it…

BOOM!

The four Death Scythes turned to the source of the noise, only to see Crona dash into the room, coming to a screeching halt in front of them and Lord Death.

"SAFE!"

Five faces stared at him in confusion as he stood there, grinning as though he had just won the World Series all by himself.

why is Crona wearing Black*Star's scarf? Soul wondered for a moment, only for Crona to suddenly jump in front of him.

"Hey, hey! Soul!"

"…what?"

"Thanks for the chocolate beans! They were yummy!"

"…what chocolate beans-…wait."

Soul grabbed Crona by the shoulders, the realization dawning on him. "You ate my chocolate-covered coffee beans?"

"Yep! I ate 'em alllll up!"

Soul's jaw dropped, his expression one of pure horror. He didn't notice Crona slip out from his grasp.

Oh God…Maka is going to KILL me… he realized. Crona, however, had already moved on to the next Death Scythe.

"Surprise hug for Professor Marie!"

Marie blinked as Crona wrapped his arms around her, laying his head on her shoulder. Marie looked over at Azusa for a moment, who simply shrugged. Marie then gently patted Crona on the back.

"Um…thank you, Crona."

Crona smiled up at her. "You're so nice to me, Professor Marie…I wish you were my mommy instead of Medusa."

Marie froze, her jaw dropping and her face one of total shock. Not that Crona noticed, as he had already let go of her and ran over to Azusa.

"Surprise hug for Ms. Azusa!"

Azusa simply stared at Crona as he wrapped his arms around her, much like he had for Marie.

"…why are you hugging me, Crona?"

Crona looked up at her. "Because you're Professor Marie's best friend, and I didn't want you to feel left out."

"…oh. …er…thank you?"

Crona smiled. "You know, you remind me a lot of another friend of mine. But I'm not supposed to talk about her."

(elsewhere, a certain teenage superheroine sneezed. Her green-skinned friend responded with "gesundheit")

Azusa's face changed to one of total confusion, but Crona had already let her go and moved on. He stared up at the "true" Death Scythe, one Spirit Albarn.

Spirit held his hands up in an attempt to stop Crona. "Whoa, whoa, no hugs for me, thank you. I don't even really know you that well, and to tell you the truth-"

Spirit then let out a slight "oof" as Crona gave him a very hard shove, causing him to fall on his rear. He glared up at Crona, completely confused and now angry.

"Hey! What'd you do that for?"

Crona pointed at Spirit. "You suck, Maka's dad! No wonder your own daughter wishes you were dead!"

The effect was instantaneous, as Spirit's jaw dropped and he let out a loud choking noise. After a few seconds of stunned silence, he then proceeded to bawl like a baby, curling up into a ball as tears ran down his face.

"It's not truuuuuuuuuuue!"

Lord Death simply looked at his four Death Scythes now that Crona had finished with them. One was crying like a little child, another looked as though they were about to do the same, a third was frozen in sheer horror, and the fourth was just completely lost.

it's a good thing he's on our side. Lord Death mused, but was brought out of his thoughts as Crona suddenly appeared in front of him.

"Hey, hey! Mr. Lord Death sir!"

"…yes, Crona?"

"We cool, right?"

"…I'm sorry, what?"

"Well, you're not still mad at me for being evil and attacking people and all? Twice? I mean, that's not still a problem, is it?"

"…Crona, I distinctly recall forgiving you for what you've done…again…"

"So, we cool?"

"…yes, yes I suppose we are."

"That's cool. Because you're cool. And I'm cool. And since we're both cool, we should be cool with each other. Cool?"

"…um…cool?"

"Cooooooooo-URK!"

Crona was suddenly yanked back by his now-not-so-helpful scarf, and looked up to see a very tired and clearly agitated Maka, who was panting and sweating from all the running she had to do. Not that Crona noticed or cared, he was just happy to see her.

"Hi Maka!"

Maka twitched and had to hold back a scream. OK, calm down, Maka. This is Crona here. A very hyped up, out of control Crona, but it's still Crona! And you do not need a crying Crona on your hands!

"Hey! Look at all the people!"

Maka turned around. Sure enough, all of the people that Crona had run into that day (in some cases, literally) had apparently decided to follow the little ball of hyperactivity to either see what he'd do next, or possibly to get back at him.

Just great…now they're all here to watch Crona make a bigger fool of himself…I swear, I could just…wait…that's it!

Maka quickly grabbed Crona by the collar to get his attention, which had been focused on waving at the crowd behind them. He blinked as Maka's expression changed to a very stern one.

"Crona, if you don't calm down right now, I am going to be very upset with you!"

Crona blinked up at Maka, the smile quickly leaving his face. The two of them stared at one another for a short while, neither of them moving an inch. Soon enough, Crona simply fell on his rear, and uttered one word.

"OK."

Maka blinked, kneeling down so she could remain at Crona's level. No…there is no way…it cannot be that simple…

"I'm sorry, Maka." Crona replied, face now neutral. "I was just playing with everyone. Forgive me?"

Maka fell back on her rear, letting go of Crona's collar. After a few seconds, she sighed, reaching up to ruffle Crona's hair.

"Of course I forgive you, Crona…"

Crona smiled widely, eyes closed. "That's good…" Then, expression staying the same, he followed that up with "Sleeptime now."

With that, Crona's head drooped, and he started breathing in and out in small, almost cute wheezes, indicating that he was now asleep.

Maka leaned back, letting out a long, loud sigh of relief. Which was quickly drowned out by the loud "awwws" that came from a number of people in the crowd, though which were responsible, Maka couldn't tell.

It was then that she realized that they had just seen her small gesture of affection. They all had. And all that anger and frustration began to rise up in her so fast, she could swear she felt steam coming out of her ears.

"…Ragnarok…"

That familiar splortch echoed again, as Ragnarok crawled out of Crona's back.

"Yeah, what do you want-GACK!"

Maka had lunged forward, wrapping a hand around Ragnarok's throat. When she next spoke, it was in a very unusually calm tone.

"…what I am about to say not only goes for him, but for everyone in this room. And I do mean everyone."

Lord Death had always acknowledged Maka as the most courageous out of the current class of meisters. Perhaps more so than her own mother. But just the fact that she had inadvertently threatened him…well, the shock alone was enough to make him edge away from her a bit.

"When he wakes up…" Maka continued. "If anyone here breathes a word of what happened today to him…I will find out. I will come to you. And by the time I find you, I will have thought of the slowest and most painful way to beat you to death. Are we clear?"

Her threat was met with an immediate chorus of "yes's" and "yes ma'ams". She then let go of Ragnarok, who quickly retreated back into Crona's body. She reached up, untied Black*Star's scarf and removed it from Crona, before gently lifting him onto her shoulder.

Without a word to anyone (though she did throw what was unmistakably a death glare at Soul), she marched through the crowd, stopping only to give Black*Star his scarf back, and was out the door before anyone could speak to her.

The room was quiet for a few minutes, before slowly breaking out into random conversation. Some talked about just what Crona had done to them, while others wondered what exactly caused it. But they all agreed: they weren't about to go against Maka's wishes.

Azusa looked up at Stein as he walked over to her and Marie. "Should I ask what that was all about?"

"It would be best not to." Stein replied, before noticing Marie's expression. She was trembling, her face bright red.

"Marie? What's the matter?"

Marie looked up at him. "Stein…Oh, Frank…"

She then dashed forward, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest. "I'm so happyyyyyyyyy…"

Stein heard Marie start to sob, and looked up at Azusa, completely lost. Azusa sighed.

"I'll explain later."

/

Crona blinked as he slowly awoke, wondering for a moment where he was. As his eyes readjusted, he saw that he was in Maka's apartment, and was laying on what was clearly her couch.

have I been sleeping here all this time? he wondered as he slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes while doing so.

"Oh, good, you're awake."

Crona turned to the source of the voice to see Maka leaning over the couch, a small smile on her face.

"Hey, you."

"H-Hi, Maka…"

Maka walked around the couch, sitting down beside him.

"H-How long was I asleep…?" Crona asked.

"Pretty much all day. See?"

She pointed out the window, and Crona saw that the sun had set and that it was already nighttime. And Maka hadn't exactly lied, as he had pretty much slept ever since crashing back at the Academy.

"Oh no…"

Maka blinked. "What's the matter?"

"I wasted the whole day…we won't get to do anything now…"

Maka sighed slightly at Crona's sad expression. Well, at least he's back to normal… she thought. She gave him a playful poke in the shoulder.

"See? This is what happens when you don't sleep at night, Crona. Sooner or later, it catches up with you."

"…sorry…"

"It's OK, I'm not mad, Crona. I'm just making sure you understand why I worry about you, that's all."

Crona blushed slightly at the "worry about you" part of that sentence, but gave a slight nod of understanding. Maka then turned to her side, reaching beside the couch and pulling up a pillow and blanket.

"Tell you what. You still look pretty tired, so you can sleep here tonight. Then we can do something fun tomorrow. OK?"

Crona turned to look at Maka, his expression suddenly changing to one of intense worry.

"B-But…what if we can't?"

"…what do you mean?"

"What if something happens between now and then? What if you have to go away somewhere before I wake up? Or what if the witches attack and drag me away in my sleep? Or someone breaks in and kills you? Or what if this is all just a dream and I wake up soon and I'm back with her and nothing that happened was ever real-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Maka had moved over and grabbed Crona's shoulders in an attempt to stop his rambling. "Crona, relax! None of that is going to happen!"

"H-How do you know…?"

"Because it won't."

She gently placed her hands on Crona's face, turning it so he was looking at her. Crona was trembling slightly, but his face was flushing from the contact.

"Listen to me. I promise, when you wake up tomorrow morning, I will be right here. OK?"

Crona shivered slightly. "…r-really?"

"Yes, really."

"…O…OK…"

Maka smiled, then leaned forward, gently placing her forehead against his. Crona gave a slight gasp, but didn't move. She stayed there, waiting patiently as Crona slowly calmed down, the shivering and shaking coming to an end.

Afterwards, she helped Crona set the couch up for sleep, placing the pillow on the opposite end and gently placing the blanket over him. As he laid down, Maka knelt beside him.

"…I'm sorry, Maka…"

Maka tilted her head. "For what?"

"For wasting the day…for making you wait for me to wake up…and…and…"

Crona frowned, rubbing his forehead. "And for something else…but I'm not sure what…"

"…you don't even know what you're sorry for?"

"I think…it sounds silly, but I think it has to do with this dream I had…"

Maka blinked. "D-Dream?"

"Yeah…I don't remember a lot of it…but there was something about Kim being my sister…me singing to Patty…Tsubaki giving me a piggyback ride…Harvar being gay…and I think I shoved your father…"

Maka stared at Crona, her mind quickly trying to come up with the best response. She then gave a small, cheeky grin.

"What? You sorry that you dreamed about so many girls?"

Crona quickly flushed, hands raised. "Th-Th-That's not…I didn't think of…that isn't what..."

Maka giggled, reaching up and gently touching Crona's cheek. "I'm just teasing, Crona. Really, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."

Crona gave a small, weary smile in return. "Y-Yeah…"

Crona then laid down, resting his head on the pillow and giving a small yawn.

"Good night, Maka…"

Maka smiled. "Sleep well, Crona…"

Crona's eyes closed, and before long, he was sound asleep.

Maka got back up, walking over and sitting on the couch beside him, watching him sleep. After a few moments, she let out a small sigh and leaned back, one thought going through her mind.

How can someone as skinny as him be so damn heavy?

/

Yeah, I'm so going to literary Hell for this.

The next review will be up when it's ready.

Adios.