Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto
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In which Reincarnations should never hold a party
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It was a party.
A party that involved cake, sparklers, wonderful 14 foot long curtains, and a bunch of hopeless washed up ninja with too many stupid and insane stories to tell. Not Kinto though. Kinto was currently washing the window to avoid eye contact with people, not noticing that Yamanaka Inoku was definitely checking him out.
Hikaru wanted to die.
"This party is dumb." She said out loud, purposefully dropping her drink into the likely poisoned punch bowl. "There's like, what, two dozen at the most people here? So boring."
Uchiha Ichiru delicately choked on his punch, proving the poison to be lethal, and then gracefully dumped it on Inoku's head.
"Hey!" The Yamanaka boy pin wheeled, "What's that for? Why does it smell like a dead cat?"
"Beats me."
Hikaru eyed them distastefully, "And you two. Why are you two here? Your clans are going to go ape shit."
"Aw, just some fun in the sun." Inoku cooed, eyeing Kinto's ass, "And maybe some not so sunny."
"You're so weird."
Ichiru coughed, "My brother- er, Itachi- forced me out of the house to go play."
Inoku and Hikaru deadpanned. Nearby, Inuzuka Mimi vomited into her cup. Kinto was now making his dashing escape for the door. Inoku noticed this and puffed up his chest.
"Ladies." He bowed. "My carriage waits to be ridden."
"There is so much wrong with that." Hikaru rubbed her face wearily. "Kinto is a virgin. Leave him alone."
The Yamanaka winked before sauntering away, in all his drenched poisoned punch glory. Ichiru glowered at his back.
"He's going to die." The Uchiha promised.
"Probably not before your brother does you in." Hikaru jabbed with a laugh. "Or before Mimi realizes the punch is poisoned but, you know."
She articulated her statement by gesturing to the passed out Inuzuka. Ichiru huffed at the same time Jinji wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
"Yo. My man. My main Uchchuwawa man. " The merchant boy slurred drunkenly. "Can you kill Konoha already? This place swucks."
"With pleasure."
"Wait for me to get out of prison." Hikaru chimed in. "They should be noticing the dummy soon. Wait for the sirens."
Jinji laughed, "Hikarurururu. Hika. Hikahika."
She stared at him blankly, "What?"
"Your face looks like the Queen. Do you remember the Queen? God save her."
"I'm not British. You aren't either."
Jinji tutted, "Hikahika, how do you know that? I could American. You wouldn't know."
Ichiru joined in at staring dryly at the boy, "You're speaking English now, you twat."
"Uchwawa, shut up. Go pervy eye someone with your vagina eyes, please."
Hikaru casually caught the fist about to decapitate Jinji, "Wait to destroy Konoha, my friend. That time is not far off at all."
Ichiru snarled before turning away to face the now lavishly clean window, courtesy of Kinto. Jinji snorted and proceeded to get on the table, before lying down. Two seconds later and he was snoring. Hikaru was sorely tempted to join Mimi comatose from the punch.
"Oh wait." Hikaru blinked when she noticed someone. "Who invited Nanami?"
"Why not?" Ichiru snorted. "She died just like the rest of us."
"Yeah, but she's…normal."
Ichiru turned around to glance at the red haired lady enjoying the party. "Hikaru, she's a married noble. She has to be somewhat normal being brought up not as a ninja."
"So that's her secret." Hikaru huffed. "I bet that no-ninja over there smokes weed."
"Careful. She's coming for the punch."
"I will offer it to her and be blamed for her untimely death. Watch this."
"Hello!" The read haired lady greeted softly, her shimmering blue dress standing out among the ninja pants and vests, "It's been too long, the two of you. Ichiru. Hikaru."
Her attention went to Jinji and her face fell, "And…Jinji?"
"He was sleepy." Hikaru chimed in, making a cup of punch. "Not many open chairs."
Ichiru stared blankly at the rows of open chairs, while Nanami laughed softly, "Oh, poor boy."
"Here, Nanami." Hikaru offered the cup with a sadistic smile. "On the house."
"My, thank you."
The two watched in awe as the noble lady downed the cup in one go, pulling away with a happy gasp, "That was refreshing! Thank you for the kind sentiments, Hikaru. Now, I do believe this is my song. See you on the dance floor!"
Hikaru's jaw dropped as the lady elegantly danced not a single grimace or sign of pain, "She's a living corpse."
Ichiru was watching on in horror as well, "The iron stomach."
Jinji chuckled, half awake to watch the spectacle, "Does this mean Nanami is not normal?"
"She's too normal." Hikaru hissed. "She'd make a great ninja!"
All three silenced when a voice came over the music. They turned their attention towards a small group, who were clapping for Gyuki.
"Today, I will sing for you." The seven year old stuttered, much to the coos of the audience. "I will sing my star."
"Goodnight." Jinji bade, curling into a ball as the Japanese version of Twinkle Twinkle star was sung. Hikaru was prepared with cotton balls. Ichiru was not so lucky.
"He sounds like a squeaky toy." The Uchiha choked, face ashen.
The song went on much longer than the original. Around ten more verses and Ichiru was on his knees, clutching his head dizzily. Gyuki ended it out on a flourish high note, much to Hikaru's amusement.
"I'm dead." The Uchiha moaned.
"Probably. If not now, then by your clan." Hikaru shrugged, helping him to his feet.
Then there were sirens.
Everyone quieted and looked around in alarm. It was a village high alert, escaped missing nin. Ichiru looked at Hikaru in confusion.
"What?" She tilted her head. "You thought I was joking?"
Jinji cackled.
What a party.
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Note: I totally loved the idea of a bunch of SI getting together for annual parties, just to wreck shit and be obnoxious, despite their current issues. I was going to make this much more in depth and longer, but decided a good dose of laughter was needed after the last few. That, and I'm very much still alive and reaching for inspiration and ideas. I'm still accepting requests.
Page count: 3
Word count: 962
Motivation: STARWARSSTARWARSSTARWARSSTARWAES
Review and have a Happy Halloween.
