A/N: Bit of an angst warning for the end of this one.


Was he just imagining things, or did she seem excited to see him? He was trying to play it cool, as he searched her features for confirmation, but found himself getting caught up in that feline smirk, while he pictured her eyes as golden instead of grey. Once he was undressed, she took his hand and walked him to the implement table, and he closed his eyes, memorizing the feel of her touch. If he had his way, she'd never let go.

"And how shall I torture you today?" she teased, her breath tickling his shoulder.

He shuddered, knowing just how close she was, as he felt the heat of her mouth barely a whisper away from his skin. What did he want? She seemed to know what he enjoyed as well as if she was in his head, but she'd probably be repulsed if she could see his thoughts right now. He breathed out, letting go of the edge of bitterness, as he opened his eyes and looked over the contents of the table.

"What are my choices?" he asked, hoping she would expose some hint of her own preferences to him.

"You can have anything you want," she purred, inching her fingers up his arm, "within reason, of course."

"Of course," he repeated, grinning as he turned his head to face her, and their eyes locked.

"So," she cocked her head, jutting out her hip, "what do you want?"

Was she doing it on purpose, or was it actually unintental? This woman would be the death of him, and he'd savor every minute. The only problem was he could now see her as Mogami-san, and it was doing his head in. Should he say something? He should say something… but then she didn't want him to know. Maybe it was better to let her have her secret.

"I don't know," he admitted after a pause, distracted by his thoughts.

"Tch, what is this? Suddenly I can no longer hold your focus? You've always been such a good boy, do you want to disappoint your Mistress now?"

"Of course not, Mistress."

She walked a few paces away, looking back at him from over her shoulder; large eyes peered through dark lashes, as she pouted at him with those shiny, pink lips. He wanted to devour her, or maybe be devoured. He wasn't sure which, but he'd never been so attracted anyone in his entire life. Closing his eyes, he bowed his head and dropped to all fours, offering himself in submission.

"Come here," she commanded, snapping her fingers and pointing to the floor, before turning her head away again.

Immediately, he obeyed, crawling towards her like the dog they both knew he was.

"Where I can see you."

He moved until he was directly in front of her, and rested his forehead against the floor in a show of obeisance.

"Up," she ordered, snapping again.

He rose to his knees, keeping his head bowed before her. She took a step toward him, taking hold of his chin, and lifted his head up. He kept his eyes lowered, waiting for permission to meet hers.

"Look at me."

When he did, the playfulness was gone from her gaze, steely eyes boring into him, and leveling him with every ounce of her reproof. Did he manage to actually upset her, by letting himself get distracted, or was she merely playing her role? That had to be it, she didn't care about this like he did - it didn't mean anything to her. She pulled his face toward hers, until their noses were practically touching, and the breath caught in his throat. This isn't real, he reminded himself, trying to keep his head above the water.

"Do not ever give me less than your full attention again, do I make myself absolutely clear?"

He could just barely feel her breath against his mouth. Would she feel his? Would she notice, even for the smallest second, how close their lips were?

"Yes, Mistress."


This wasn't good. First she let herself get actually annoyed that he wasn't paying attention, and now their faces were practically touching, which meant she had to actively avoid thinking about his mouth. How did he do this to her, this man who just stumbled into her life, and seemed dead set on turning it upside down? Why did he have this kind of power over her? Whatever the reason, she didn't like it one bit. She was the one in control here, and she needed to remember that.

"Tell me, how should I punish you for this indiscretion?"

She hoped he would give her some idea, to stop her mind from wandering. It was his fantasy she was supposed to bring to life, not her own. Still, he probably wouldn't offer any suggestions, which would mean the responsibility of coming up with something fell to her, and…

"Whatever you deem appropriate, Mistress."

His eyes twinkled with mischief, under the thin layer of guilt, and she knew exactly what to do.

"Shall I bind you with rope and suspend you from the ceiling?"

"Yes, Mistress."

She bit back the smile fighting its way to her face, a spark of pleasure alighting in her mind. He enjoyed pain, sensory deprivation, and bondage, but tonight she would tease him to the point of near breaking. Maybe it was alright to indulge herself just a little, after all, where was the harm in it? Besides, it's not like he wouldn't enjoy himself, so really she was just doing her job...


She lead him to the padded area near the suspension winch, and rigged up a metal ring to the device, before grabbing several lengths of black rope from a nearby cabinet. Before starting, she cautioned him about nerve damage and circulation issues, and emphasized the importance of telling her if he experienced any localized tingling or numbness. The prospect of permanent nerve damage should've scared him, but he trusted her expertise implicitly.

"Since this is your first time, we'll just do a basic suspension, but if you decide to make it a regular part of your sessions, then there's all sorts of intricate ties we can experiment with."

"Yes, Mistress."

His breath was shallow and his chest tight, both nervous and anxious for what awaited him, and with the knowledge that he was about to be helpless in a way he'd never been before. Whether she intended to blindfold him or not he didn't know, but whatever she planned to do, he had no objections. The wait, as she got everything ready, only served to heighten the anticipation, and he started to fidget, desperate for her to begin.

She stood before him, tilting her head to the side and looking directly into his eyes. Smiling at him reassuringly, she placed her hands on his shoulders and slid them down his arms to his wrists, and then turned him around, so that he was facing away from her. She brought his arms behind his back, with his elbows bent; each hand clasping the opposite forearm.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Mistress."

He could feel the rope and her fingers dragging against his skin; creating an odd dichotomy of sensation, both smooth and rough, as she wrapped it around his wrists. He felt a tug as she tied the first knot, and his hands were thoroughly bound. Next, she brought the rope under his arm, bringing it across his chest, and wrapping it three times, with a knot in the front, before she secured it to the knot at his wrists.

His body began to relax, the urge to fidget gone, as his muscles flexed against the unyielding restraints. Her physical closeness intensified the sensation, as he was drawn fully into the present, and the world outside faded away. His eyes flew open, having not realized he closed them, when he felt her fingers along his hip. She smirked up at him wickedly, before bending down to get a better angle.

He watched her intensely as she wrapped a length of doubled rope around his hips, knotting it securely at the center front, before bringing it around behind him. He stopped breathing as her hands grazed the bottom of his ass, the rope wrapping around his upper thigh, and her fingers so close to brushing against him in a place he knew she'd never touch. If he shifted just slightly, she could feel his growing excitement for herself, but he knew where the line was drawn, and he wouldn't forget, no matter how much he wanted to.

"How's that, any pinching or numbness?"

"No, Mistress,"

"Good, then I'll start tying the uplines. Tell me if you need me to stop at any time."

His breathing was deeper, slower, as he relaxed into the comforting pressure of the ropes that bound him. She attached a doubled length to the tie around his chest, knotting it, threading it through the ring, and then knotting it again, leaving a long tail. Looking up at him cheekily, she did the same with the hip harness, tugging enough to make him jerk, as she knotted everything tightly. Finally, she placed a block at his feet, and had him step up onto it.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, Mistress."

She placed a hand on his chest, looking him straight in the eyes, and then pushed him backwards. His body immediately went horizontal, his feet off the ground, and he jumped slightly in surprise, before sinking into the new sensation, and the deepening pressure of the ropes against his skin. Once he'd adjusted, and his breathing steadied, he realized she was standing between his legs.


She pulled the chest upline tighter, raising his torso, before knotting it again. Then, she trailed her hands up his stomach and across his chest; over his shoulders, and down his arms. It was hard to fight the smile, feeling his gaze upon her, as he watched her intently. Without ever looking at his face, and keeping her own expression placid, she slid her hands across his hips and down his legs, before finally stepping away and increasing the distance between them.

He let out of small sigh of disappointment, that she just barely heard, and she turned from him as the smile finally overtook her features. It was probably wrong how much she enjoyed the feel of his skin beneath her fingers, and how much she wanted to torment him with her teasing. Normally, she kept the line very clearly drawn, but with him, it seemed to blur. Why did this all feel so incredibly intimate, when normally it was nothing special?

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, Mistress," he drawled, voice heavy.

She checked the sensation in his hands and feet, and looked for any change in color, making sure that there was no danger.

"Shall I increase the intensity?"

"Mmmmm," he hummed, lazily nodding.

She chuckled, raising the winch so that he was lifted further off the ground. He really was tall, almost shockingly so for a Japanese, which meant she had to raise him higher than was usually necessary. There was a particular thrill to dominating someone so much larger than she was, when many of her clients were a lot closer to her own height.

"Lean back and relax," she instructed, and he did, closing his eyes.


He felt a tug on the rope at his chest, his upper body dropping suddenly, and his head fell backwards toward the floor. For a split second he reflexively tensed up, panicking, before he gave into the feeling. His equilibrium shifted, the pressure of being suspended transferred almost fully to his hips, and despite the bonds around his chest and wrists, it was surprising how freely he could move. It was euphoric, and he savored in the pull as he shifted his shoulders and spine.

His body swung gently as she completely released the rope holding up his chest, and spun him around, his head swimming as she held him in beautiful surrender. Her hands trailed down his thighs to his ankles, before she threw them upwards, crossing them once he was upside down. Everything became so much more intense, as the blood rushed to his brain. She dragged her fingers along his skin, spinning him lazily as she walked around him in a circle.

There was pain, but it was so good, his head tilting side to side as he was overcome with the way he tingled all over. He didn't know how long she left him like that, but he felt dizzy when she finally pulled him back to a horizontal position. His knees were bent and his feet dangling above the ground, when she lowered the winch to bring him back down.

"Do you feel alright?"

"Mmmm, yesss."


Slowly and carefully, she started to untie the upline from the ring, letting his feet find the floor, but leaving him supported by the winch in case he couldn't stand on his own. Once he was steady, she worked to unknot the line from his hip harness, her fingers skimming perilously close to the obvious bulge she was trying so hard not to stare at. Why did she want so badly to touch him, to feel him?

She held him steady once he was loose, with a solid grip on his shoulders. Stepping backwards, her foot slipped, and she went down, unable to catch herself. She accidentally pulled with her, and he landed on top of her, nearly knocking the wind out of her. With his hands still bound behind his back, he couldn't get up on his own, and he was dead weight. Worse, was that she could feel him, hard and pressing against her, and she liked it. Mercifully, he didn't say a word, or move a muscle.

"Are you hurt at all?"

"No, Mistress."

His voice was a little breathy, but there was no teasing, which was a relief.

"I'm going to roll, so move with me, and watch out for your hands, alright?"

"Alright."

She shifted her body for leverage, and threw him over as gently as she could, but the momentum was more than she anticipated and she ended up right on top of him. At least, all she had to do was get up, and they could both pretend this never happened. She shifted, which turned out to be a dangerous move while straddling his hips, and his erection rubbed right against her center. She let out a soft moan, her hips rolling instinctively, before she practically jumped off him. That was not okay, none of this was okay! What the hell was she thinking?


His eyes went wide at the sound, her body positioned so perfectly against him that he thought he must be a dreaming, and when she rolled her hips, he was done for. A thousand times he'd imagined it, but having her physically there was infinitely better. The moment she practically flew off him, reality suddenly came crashing back, and he was horrified. Was there something he could've done to prevent this from happening? It didn't matter, because even if no one was really at fault, her reaction said everything he needed to know.

He rotated to the side and then threw his body into a seated position, before shifting onto his knees. As much as he wanted to fix what happened, it seemed better to say nothing, lest he make the situation worse. She stood with her back to him, leaning over a table with a white-knuckle grip, and his heart fell into his stomach.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, "I'll untie you."

She shook herself and walked over, kneeling behind him; her eyes looking in every direction but his. The rope fell to the floor once she was done, and he massaged his wrists, slowly unbending his elbows and stretching out his shoulders. It felt like losing the embrace of a lover, which crashed his mood even harder, as he dreaded what he knew was coming.

"Do you mind?" she asked, angling her head down.

"No, of course."

He flexed his fingers, feeling the blood circulating properly again, and noticed the impression marks on his wrists. How long would they last, he wondered, wishing they were permanent. He clumsily toyed with the knots at his hips, until finally he was able to undo them. Once he was free he looked up, her outstretched arm holding a glass of juice for him. He hesitated a moment before taking it, and then forced it down.

"Please get dressed, when you feel up to it."

She left him there, the care she normally showed him forgotten, as he watched her wrestling with her thoughts. He didn't blame her; he understood all too well how she must've felt. His hands balled into fists, nails biting into the flesh of his palms, and his jaw tightened into a hard line. He just had to make it through another ten minutes, and then he could let his face fall.

He got to his feet, letting out a deep breath to steel himself, and then retrieved his clothes. She offered him a chair, but he couldn't bear to sit, so they both stayed standing. It must've been a few minutes before she spoke, but time seemed distorted and he wasn't sure how long the silence dragged on. It was better and worse than hearing her say the words.

"I'm sorry, but I need to dissolve our contract."

It felt like he'd just been punched by a bear, the impact swift and sudden, even though he braced himself for it.

"I understand."

"Believe me, I am sorry. Especially so abruptly like this, and neglecting your aftercare… It's extremely unprofessional, and this whole thing is my fault, but I just can't. I'm so sorry, and of course, I'll direct you to someone who can take over for me, so that you're not left hanging."

The irony of those words didn't escape either of them, as she turned her head and grimaced, and he stifled a bitter laugh.

"I don't want anyone else," he admitted, already knowing it was futile.

"You think that now, but after you get used to them-"

"Moga-" he began, interrupting her, before he shook his head, stopping himself. "It doesn't matter. If… if you ever change your mind…"

It didn't matter that it was pathetic and pointless, because he needed to tell her, but before he could finish, the words died in his looked at her, hoping she would meet his gaze, and as though she could read his thoughts, she did. Were her eyes wet, or was he just imagining it? He smiled at her sadly, wishing she'd hug him one last time, but he was too afraid to ask.

"Goodbye, Ren."

He closed his eyes, nodding; knowing that was the last time he'd ever hear her say his name, and, in what was the decision he regretted second most in his life, he walked away. Funny that only now, when he was cast out of her life, could he actually admit his feelings. He loved her, but she'd never love him back, which was fair, because he didn't deserve her anyway.


A/N: Phew! I honestly didn't intend for things to go that way. I planned something totally different, but this is what ended up happening. It's impossible for me to not write super unhealthy characters that handle everything horribly, and it being Kyoko and Ren probably makes it worse. At least it got a tiny bit smutty?

This is going to probably get soooo much worse, and as much as I hate the trope of everyone into BDSM being messed up, these two people are pretty psychologically damaged. Just be ready for a super not good, healthy, or positive relationship dynamic, with probably a lot of smut. I don't think I know how to do anything else tbh xD