Aren't you lovely people proud? I didn't get my phone taken off me this week! :D So, there's this friend of mine that had recently added a book to FanFiction, and I would absolutely love you all if you could check it out. Her name is Elizabeth Kimball (you can find her on my favourite authors list) and her story is AMAZING! I DO NOT OWN ANY TWILIGHT RELATED REFERENCES.


School is like a prison

We can't leave,

School is like an island

We are all trapped,

School is like a pie

It is good at first until you reach the crust,

School is like a toilet

It is full of germs,

School is like a salad

You have to put something on it to make it better,

School is like a stupid cat

It never dies.

-Jacob Gifford


"Where are you going with this story, Miss Swan?" Mr Greene groaned for what had to be the hundredth time in five minutes. I stared blankly at him. He asked to hear it from the start…dumbass. Taking a deep and un-needed breath, I replied to his rude interruption.

"For the last time, Mr Greene: if you want to know why I nearly burnt down your school, you better shut up and listen to what I have to say…"


"Jesus fucking Christ!" Jill screamed, kicking Chevy's left wheel. I would have yelled at Jill for hurting my poor baby if all I wanted to do was rip the car to pieces.

"Come on, baby – work for me" I begged, turning the key yet again. I could feel the cars struggles as it finally gave out, ending with a huge bang. I climbed out a few seconds later, already dreading to tell Jill the news.

"We'll have to walk" I took out the Walmart bags from yesterday, thankful that I hadn't taken them inside before coming over to Jacob's. With one last sigh, I started walking up the dirt road towards school. Usually I wouldn't have been to giddy and happy to come to school, but today was special: today Jill and I were planning on 'assassinating' the school.

"I am not walking" Jill yelled to me, still having a hissy fit by my car. By now I had reached the stone road that cars took from La Push Beach towards Forks.

"Fine, miss out on a whole day of fun!" I screamed back. I could hear her feet sprinting across the cobble road behind me. I inwardly smiled at how easy it was for her to follow instructions. I felt her rip away two of the five bags I was carrying in my hands before reluctantly walking alongside me.

"Your car is a shit-fest, man" she mumbled. I snorted, but didn't say anything back. We walked in silence for a while, which was pretty rare considering Jill liked to enlighten the whole world about her day 24/7.

"What's on your mind, honey-bee?" I asked, side stepping a huge rock in the path. I just missed tripping over my beautiful new high heels. Don't blame me – heels give me confidence!

"Nothing, sugar-muffin"

"You can't lie to me" I held a very heavy Russian accent, as I had been watching 'Silk' a few days ago and, well, Russian accents were cool.

"What if you die tomorrow?" she asked. I turned my head to the side so I could see her perfectly. She had a depressing expression on her face – something that looked so foreign on her sweet, angelic face.

"That's a very reassuring thought, Jillian" I joked, bumping my shoulder against hers. Instead of hitting me, like I thought she would do, she just kept talking. "What about Billy? I only have two years with him, Charlotte! He's like my dad" I knew she was breaking on the inside, I mean, who wouldn't? The only time you've ever felt remotely close to someone, and then this weighs on their shoulders. That was like Charlie dying on me: I knew he wasn't my real dad, but that thought still crushed me.

"I know this isn't easy for you, Jill, but I'm here for you" I tried my best to wrap my arm around her shoulders, but it was considerably hard since I was carrying three heavy-ass bags. I ended up resting my arm on her shoulder instead.

"Easy for you to say: you know how you're going to die. Mutant baby creature growing inside of you is the best way to go, I hear"

"See! You've got your sick sarcasm back – you're nearly cured" I snickered, and this time, she did hit me. We made little jokes here and there until we got to the border of Forks, where the conversation took a turn for the worst.

"Maybe Carlisle could help him, you know, when they get back" I suggested. I didn't see Jill's figure stop until it was too late. Her fist had already connected with my forearm.

"What the fuck?!" I screamed at her, dropping the bags on the ground and rubbing my arm profusely. What the hell was wrong with that bipolar psychopath?

"Don't you fucking joke about those creatures again!"

"What's your problem?" I yelled at her retreating figure. I quickly scooped up the fallen bags from the ground before running to meet her pace.

"As long as I'm here, they are not coming back – you and I both know I can make that happen" her bluey green eyes stared into my eyes, and for the first time since I met her, I felt vulnerable. Was she seriously threatening me over a little vampire situation?

"Why are you still hanging up after that stupid period sucker?!" she gave a humourless laugh before continuing along the cobblestone path. This time, I didn't run after her. I sat down on the curb of the street feeling dejected and defeated. Were best friends supposed to fight like this? What's wrong with us?

"I didn't mean to go that far, Char. I'm sorry" I hadn't realised Jill had walked back until she stood before me. I jumped as she sat down next to me. By now we were definately late for school.

"You're right though – I shouldn't be hung up about him. This is just a book, remember?" The whole reality of the Twilight world actually hit me then. When I finally get out of this hell-hole, there will be no Jacob, or Billy, or Charlie…or Eddie. God, that is actually so depressing!

"Fuck me sideways" Jill muttered, picturing the same thing I had been thinking about. Well, I could only guess as much, anyways.

"We need to do this for Billy – a parting gift" I spoke, an idea forming in my mind. I picked up the bags and was running towards the school before Jill uttered a word. She ran helplessly after me, most likely thinking I was one special child. Eventually, we made it to the school with only one hour since the bell had gone. Record!

"Let's do this" we split up around the school with a nod. I made my way over to the cafeteria, which was not-so-surprisingly empty. It was still ten in the morning, and classes were still learning some shit. I pulled a few apples and bananas from the fruit bowl before walking outside the office window. I pulled the black ski mask over my face, so no one could see my face. Pulling my arm back with the apple situated in my palm, I took a deep breath, before throwing the fruit at the window. I was expecting the apple to explode against the window, scaring the crap out of the staff members, but the apple may have been a little too hard. I heard a loud scream as the glass window fell to the ground. I stared wide-eyed at the shattered glass on the ground, before running inside. I hid in the girls' bathroom as I heard all the teachers exit the warm office area to examine the damage outside.

"Shit" I laughed, trying to catch my breath from the sprint I had just come from. After a few seconds of silence, I walked out of the pink bathroom and made my way to the office. I locked the door as soon as I stepped in. I walked towards the front desk where a huge microphone stood. I flicked the red light along the bottom, enjoying the familiar jingle go across the whole school speakers. I began speaking not a second later.

"Good morning students of Forks High. I hope you've had a lovely life, as you are about to play a little game of mine. The last one standing, or should I say breathing, will be announced as the winner. I am greatly looking forward to seeing success from this school, oh, and let the games begin" I pulled off the perfect clown voice from Saw. Not a minute later, I could hear screams erupt from outside the door, telling me to 'open the door immediately'. I could hear the students trying to open the now locked doors – thanks to Jill – and soon, they were all screaming. I bit my lip to stop myself from bursting out laughing: surely the teachers would know who it was just by the laughter, right?

Ready for plan B? – J

I smiled as Jill texted me. I sent back a quick 'yes' before leaning back in the surprisingly comfortable desk chair. The bangs of the door had increased by now, so I was just whistling for a while. A few minutes later, I heard the fire alarms go off around the school. I heard more horrified screams from students. I let out a little snicker, loving the sound of Jessica Stanley hyperventilate from a mile away. I heard the screams outside the office door subside for a moment or two. Good – they're gone. I was soon met with the sound of a door breaking – the office door. Four teachers, and the principle, all looked at me. Thank god I still had the mask on, or I would be in deep shit.

"Eeep!" I shrieked, breaking yet another window and climbing down the water pipe. I landed softly on the ground, thankful to see Jill had also locked the outside office doors. The water broke off a minute later, but the screams did not go away.

"I want my mommy!"

"I'm so fucking scared!"

"My hair!" I laughed at everyone's yells from inside the school. I met Jill halfway as we stared at the students who were right in front of us, only separated with a locked door. We pulled out our paintball guns simultaneously, pointing them at the horrified kids in front of us. It took them a moment to register the fact that two 'terrorists' were pointing guns at them, before they were running in all directions. A few people fell with tears running down their faces.

"One" I mumbled.

"Two" Jill continued.

"Three" we both shot at the same time, watching as colourful spots of paint appeared onto the doors. I nearly burst out laughing when one kid thought he got shot, so he started 'dying'. We slowly made our way around the front of the school. Cars, buildings and windows were painted with colours ranging from black to blue to red – but they all said the same thing: R.I.P. BILLY.

"You did this?" I questioned Jill, taking in the graffiti wheelchair on the music hall's main wall. There was a little cowboy hanging off the seat of the chair – Billy's favourite accessory. Tears brimed my eyes as I took this all in; it was a way of saying goodbye from us, anyway.

"Yeah – I think Billy will love it" she giggled, looping her arms around mine. I still couldn't see her face, courtesy of the ski masks, but I could tell she was getting over emotional. After a minute or two of gazing at the artwork, we made our way towards the back exit of the science hall. What idiots didn't bother to check the one door that was open? We pulled it open with a metal against metal grinding sound. I involuntary flinched at the high pitched squeal it made. We could hear students down the hall crying and blabbering on about how their lives were over.

"Babies" I muttered, pulling out the fireworks from the last plastic bag in my hand. I passed Jill three and watched her set it up near an open window. I did the same with the other four, pleased to find all the windows were open, exposing every single one of the students. We weren't planning on killing the poor people, but we were aiming to make them shit themselves more than once. Just like last time, we counted down from three, before lighting all seven of the fireworks. We ducked behind a large wooden tabled, before everything went off. You could hear screams and shouts from a mile away, making Jill and I burst out laughing. It kept going until our sides hurt.

"Totally worth all the shit we'll be getting into!" Jill puffed, getting all the air she could into her lungs before laughing again.

"So true!" I agreed, fanning my beetroot red face.

"I'm glad you think that, ladies" a gruff voice sneered. Jill and I visibly tensed before turning around to meet Mr Greene's livid eyes. Yep, we were screwed. Before we were dragged off to the now open office doors, a very loud banging sound erupted from outside.

"Did I leave those graffiti cans in that microwave?" Jill asked out loud, her forefinger and thumb brushing against her imaginary goatee. I had to bite down on my lip so I wouldn't piss myself laughing. I could just see Jessica Stanley with paint covering her body from head to toe. With a surprisingly calm voice, Mr Greene told us to get to his office so we could face our 'punishments'. Well, as I said before: totally worth it.


"So you decided to nearly blow up my school after watching a movie?" Mr Greene asked, shaking behind his desk.

"Pretty much, yeah" I responded, meeting his anger blazed eyes for the first time since starting the story. Of course I had left out the whole fight incident between Jill and I about vampires – I didn't think that would go down too well with him – so he really only got the fact that Billy was dying, and we nearly burned his school to the ground.

"I cannot deal with this anymore! Expelled! You're expelled!" And finally, that calm façade Mr Greene had worked so hard on broke. He ripped a few papers in front of him, threw a few stationary objects around the room, and tried so hard to flip over the table.

"I wouldn't expel me if I were you, Bruce" I snickered, guessing his actual name. I had no idea what I was trying to achieve at this, but I had to try.

"And why is that?" Jesus, was this guy bipolar? He was now seated patiently in his chair, tapping away with that fucking pen, again.

"I know about you and your…sexual encounter…with a student?" I finished off with my voice high pitched, trying to contemplate if he was the kind of guy to get it on with a student. He visible tensed, making my eyebrows hit the roof.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about"

"Don't play me, Bruce. You and I both know I can report this to my dad" he narrowed his eyes at me, trying to find any hint of me possibly telling I lie.

I wasn't.

"Fine! You and Miss Hansen are not expelled, but suspended for a week! I can't do any better than that, so take it or leave it" my mouth opened so far I was scared my jaw was going to cramp up and freeze. One fucking week off of school?! Oh my God! Yes!

"I think I will take it, thank you" I stood up and made my way to the door.

"Miss Swan" he called me back with a firm tone. I sighed before turning around to meet his gaze. "This stays between you and me" he even made gestures between my body and his. I yanked open the door without another word said.

"Are you fucking kidding me? He let us go, just like that?" Jill demanded, walking along the now familiar cobblestone path. After leaving the office, Charlie and Jill hot on my heels, I walked towards the car park where I told Charlie we had only got suspended for a week. He seemed rather surprised, and wanted to ground me, but I persuaded him out of it. Jill and I were now walking towards the Black's, as we wanted to show Billy and Jacob our masterpiece on our cameras.

"I may or may not have blackmailed him into letting us stay"

"What was it?! I promise I won't tell" she skipped around me, making sure to flick her hair right in my eyes. I knew she was trying to annoy me, and it was working.

"Fine!" I groaned, rubbing my now itchy eyes. "Apparently Mr Greene is having sexual intercourse with a student" Jill's slow and crooked walking came to a halt. She stared wide-eyed and open mouth at me as I started to smirk and nod my head. She out right laughed, falling to the ground in the process.

"No way!" she exclaimed, rolling onto her side and laughing some more. It took me five minutes to get her to stand up right, and even then I had to hold on to her. She giggled and giggled until we reached Billy's house, surprised to see more than two cars there. In the green field, five very tanned and muscular boys stood tall and proud – one of them being Jacob. We slowly made our way towards them, making sure to cross the little bridge across the tiny creek outside his house. Chevy was just as I had left it: broken and dirty.

"The plan worked, Jake" I shouted to him. His head whipped to meet ours, but a smile never made its way on his face. Paul and Sam looked over at us cautiously. I did notice, however, that Paul did linger on a few of Jill's most explicit body parts.

"I don't care" his voice was surprisingly cold, vicious even. I stopped a few metres behind him, noticing the way his body tensed every time he heard a sound from either us or from inside the forest.

"Be careful" Paul warned, more to Jill than me. She scoffed and crossed her arms across her chest, while I just stood there looking at Jacob's masculine back. What the fuck was his problem?

"Stop PMSing, Jake" I joked, taking a step closer towards him. He obviously had to be joking, right?

"Just piss off, Bella. No one cares about you, or how Eddie left you! No one gives a shit" during his rant. He had turned around and in two huge steps we were standing chest-to-chest. Before I could stop myself, my lip started quivering. I bit it soon after: no way in hell was I going to cry over that loser.

"What the fuck, Jake?! Get yourself checked, man" Jill stood protectively by my side. I noticed how every now and then she would throw Paul the odd look or two. Yep, those two will definitely ride the bumpy road by the month, if you know I mean.

"Go" Jake's calm façade had come to an end, as he was now shaking furiously in front of us. I took Jill's arm before walking back towards where we came from.

"See you later, fuckers!" Jill screamed behind her, looping her arm through mine in the process. We walked in silence until we reached the borderline of Forks.

"He's a dickhead, Char – don't listen to him" she tried. But I kept walking, trying desperately to hold in the tears that wanted to fall. I waved goodbye to Jill when we arrived at our doors. She waved back before stepping inside her home. I walked around the back way towards the huge tree growing outside my window, already knowing Charlie would be in bed and had locked the door for the night. With a deep breath, I started climbing the scrawny tree. Every now and then I would hear the odd branch crack, but nothing ever happened. I slid open the window and stepped through with easy.

"I hope you choke on a dick, Jacob Black" I cursed, wrapping the blankets tight around my body to keep in my warmth. It surprised me how much I wanted to cry before, but that sadness was now replaced with burning anger. I'm going to kick his arse! As if on cue, a loud wolf howling through the tree tops shook the forest. I already knew who it was, but it still surprised me. Did Jacob just turn into a werewolf?

Finally!


Well, well, well. Jacob, I think you're in a bit of trouble :) What do you guys think about the new and grumpy Jacob? Don't worry all you 'Team Jacob' lovers out there, he will be changing very shortly :) Toodle Ooo

Liflessvampire

P.S. Don't forget to look out for that story :D