For the record: loving this chapter. I had a lot of fun with it.
To recap the episode: During a fight at a dance club, a wall breaks open to reveal a mummified corpse and a stash of methamphetamine. When Brennan and her team identifies the deceased to be a former DJ of the dance club, Booth and Brennan investigate a rival DJ and the owner of the dance club.
Seeley and Buffy were having a date night. And, unlike their typical date nights, they managed to actually get out of the house.
Probably because Xander, Anya, their three kids, and Parker were all there.
"Hopefully they won't tear the house down," Seeley was only half-joking as he pulled a chair out for Buffy.
"Well, that's the benefit of Xander being a contractor- even if they do, he'll have it fixed and we'll probably never even know."
"It might even be better," Seeley fake-gasped as he sat down across from her, "Maybe we should have the boy babysit more often."
"You really have to stop calling him that," Buffy shook her head, "You two have known each other for almost twenty years, you realize that? And you still get testosterone poisoning around each other. It's getting old. You'd think you two have bonded over being two men surrounded by women. Doyle and Xander get along fine."
"I'm sure Bones would say something about us being anthropologically driven to be the alpha male and have all the women to ourselves."
Buffy laughed, "That does sound like Temperance. But look on the upside, babe- even if you won the alpha male competition, you'd still have no power over all the women."
Seeley began to smirk and slid his chair closer to his wife's, "You saying I don't have power over you?" he practically growled in her ear, before ducking his head lower to begin kissing up and down her neck.
"Seeley," she hissed, "we are in a restaurant. A public restaurant."
"So let's leave."
"We haven't even eaten yet and you know you want that steak."
"Not as much as you."
"Well, you'll be glad you had enough food to keep your energy up later tonight," his wife promised, and Seeley dutifully pulled back so his nose was resting against her cheek.
"You might have a point there," he admitted.
"I usually do," Buffy giggled lightly.
Their waiter interrupted them at that point and they placed their orders.
They were halfway through the meal when Seeley's phone rang. Knowing that if it was his phone, it was more likely to be work than Xander calling about Parker, the Agent gave a groan and looked mournfully at the rest of his steak as he picked up.
"Booth," he answered sourly. Buffy waved the waiter over and asked for boxes seeing as they were going to have to leave.
By the time her husband had hung up, Buffy had boxed the meals, paid the check, and was putting on her coat. He looked up at her from his seat.
"You're amazing, you know that right?"
She smiled down at him and leaned over for a quick kiss. "I know. How do you think I got you to marry me?"
"Oh, and here I thought it was me who had to do all the convincing."
"That was part of my master plan," she teased as she grabbed the bag with the food, "Didn't want to seem too eager, you know."
"You cried," he teased back as he took the bag from her hands. Sighing and rolling her eyes at her husband's actions, Buffy shook her head at him.
"You cried at the wedding."
"I did not," he shot back.
"I was looking at you the whole time, Seeley- trust me, there were tears."
"I don't remember that," he said as he pulled his car keys out.
"What do you remember?" the blonde asked as she slid into the passenger seat.
"You," he shot back as he stole another kiss before putting the car in drive.
"Oh, very smooth, Agent Booth. You say that to all the girls you marry?"
"Only the blonde ones."
With Seeley's driving, they were at the club within a few minutes. Not wanting to sit alone in the car for an undetermined amount of time, Buffy followed him in.
The couple met up with Special Agent Furst, who had called Seeley in because Temperance was already there, apparently.
"Are you sure she can handle this?" the Agent asked as he led Seeley and Buffy into the club.
"No one in our lab knows the first thing about dealing with a mummy," Booth informed him seriously, "I'd have to call her in anyways."
"Besides, from what I understand, Dr. Brennen on her worst day is better than your entire lab at their best, she's that good," Elizabeth inserted, giving Seeley a small grin as he helped her down the steps- they were rather difficult in her heels.
"She assaulted two agents who were trying to tape off the body," the other Agent said, pointing at Brennen who was ordering people to keep away from the remains.
"They were trying to contaminate the body!" the woman in question shouted, very earnestly.
Furth explained to Booth the scene, "There was a cloud of meth covered the dance floor," he pointed again at the anthropologist, "I think they've inhaled quite a lot."
Both Booths couldn't help grinning as Seeley questioned Temperance, "Are you high?"
Angela, who Buffy hadn't noticed until that point, spoke up then, "Only by accident so it doesn't count."
Buffy was giggling as Brennen began her own questioning of Seeley, "Why'd you bring Elizabeth? This doesn't seem like such a great date."
Elizabeth decided to intervene, "We were out to dinner when we got the call and I tagged along. My god, your pupils are huge."
Temperance didn't respond to that as she noticed someone getting close to the remains and she rushed over to tell them off.
"Bones, simmer down," Seeley requested.
Two other men arrive and one asked "How long is this gonna take?"
Seeley's hackles rose. "Who the hell wants to know?"
The other man was the one who answered, "I'm sorry, he works for me. I'm Randall Hall, I run this place."
Seeley began interviewing immediately, "You run this place Mr. Hall? Interesting, you know, cause we know found some drugs on-"
At that point Brennen cut in, "Found them, we found 'em."
Elizabeth tried hard not to giggle at her new friend.
Seeley attempted to regain control of the questioning, "Alright, we found some drugs on the dead guy. We're gonna want to know where they came from, why he had them-"
Brennen cut in again, "Why."
Elizabeth decided to try to help before things got bloody.
"Temperance, why don't you show me what you've found with the remains while Seeley keeps questioning these men, hmm?"
Seeley shot her a grateful look while she led the anthropologist off towards the body and he continued questioning, "Why he had them. Any idea who he is?"
"Ok, Temperance- why don't you tell me how this happened?" Elizabeth found herself slipping into her professional role as a counselor. She'd questioned more a few kids and guided them over the course of her career. A high Brennen was surprisingly similar to an over eager child.
"Well, the Egyptians would give the body a cedar oil enema and then rinse it with wine and cover it with salt. But I don't think that's what happened here."
"I'd imagine not," Buffy managed to respond.
"Bones, you are totally wasted," Seeley said in something like amazement.
At that moment, Zack Addy entered the room and the good Doctor got rather distracted.
"Zack! Zack! Zack! Come here! Come here! Isn't this a beautiful specimen of mummification?"
Poor Zack looked deeply uncomfortable. "What's going on?"
"Let's just say," Agent Booth told him, "That your boss inhaled."
"See how perfectly dried and preserved the skin is?" Brennen continued, pointing at the mummy, "You don't find something like this every day. Hey Elizabeth, have you seen it?"
"Yes, I did. It's very interesting." Elizabeth found herself very glad that the sight of bodies never bothered her much. It was a good qualification for an FBI Agent's wife, and evidently for Brennen's friend as well.
Angela piped up again, "It's so hard to believe that you two have been married for sixteen years. You know, since you were barely legal. It's very touching," she added, gesturing between the married couple.
Seeley looked uncomfortable while Elizabeth just smiled, her husband turned to whisper to her, "I'm sorry about this, I'll make it up to you. I promise."
Elizabeth, not really that concerned, turned to face him, "Double mint chip ice cream?"
"Done deal," he grinned back at her, knowing where that particular brand of ice cream usually led. He swooped down for a quick kiss before Buffy lightly shoved him off her with a shake of her head.
"Crime scene," she reminded him.
Both Brennen and Angela, seeing the couple's PDA, burst out with a loud, "Awwwwww!"
"Ok, ok- back to work," Seeley scolded them. "Can we stick to the business here? Thank you," he turned over to Mr. Hall, "I'll need a list of your employees, alright? We'll run it through the system, see if any one of 'em have a drug conviction," he turned back to Brennen, "How long before you can ID him?"
"Well, I'm not at all tired so I'm sure I can stay up all night and work," Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh as Brennen turned to speak to her intern, "We have to be careful removing him, he's very dry and brittle." The anthropologist turned back to the remains and said with what sounded like reverence, "My first modern mummy."
It was late when Seeley and Buffy finally walked up their driveway and opened their door. They were unsurprised to find Anya and Xander on their couch, kissing heavily.
"Hey, the couch of my house is sacred," Seeley interrupted, giving Xander a quick slap on the head, "No tonsil hockey there."
"I'm sure you and Buffy have done much more. Like had sex, on this couch," Anya protested, "Besides, you took so long getting home and I find it difficult to get time alone with Xander with three children."
"Anya," her husband interrupted, "I really don't want to think about Buffy and the G-man having sex. Anywhere. Let alone on the couch that we're sitting on."
"Why? They have a son. For Buffy to have gotten pregnant, they had to have-"
Xander cut her off, "Don't wanna think about it, Ahn. Now. Perhaps we should gather up our own munchkins and head home."
"Yes, then we can have sex in our own bed. I much prefer that to the couch. Not that the couch doesn't have a certain-"
"Anya!" the three other adults shouted, quieting the woman.
"Thanks so much for babysitting," Buffy said, "We'll see you tomorrow probably, do you need any help with the kids?"
"I'll grab Kristen," Seeley offered, going off to gather up his youngest niece.
"Thanks, but couldn't you take the heavier one, oh big-FBI-guy?" Xander asked, following Seeley to the quest room where Xander and Anya's three kids had curled up like puppies.
"I figured I'd like you prove your manliness to Anya by leaving Matt to you."
"I know Xander's very manly. I do appreciate displays of it though, thank you, Seeley," Anya chimed in as she picked up her youngest child.
"No problem, Anya, always glad to help Xander throw out his back."
The three trouped out the door that Buffy held open and strapped the kids in. After saying their goodnights, and thanking them again for babysitting, the Booths watched as the other family drove home.
"So-" Seeley said, wrapping his arms around his wife, "I believe I promised you some double mint chip?"
Buffy grinned as Seeley again went right for her neck. "You go get the ice cream and I'll just check on Parker."
With one more kiss, the man went off to get his wife's favorite ice cream while Buffy slipped quietly down the hall to check on their son.
Parker was sleeping heavily, no doubt tuckered out from playing with his three cousins after a long day at Preschool. She was so enamored with the sight of the boy, she failed to hear the man sneaking up behind her to wrap his arms around her waist.
Seeley chuckled as she gave a slight jump when she realized he was there, before relaxing into his embrace.
"I want another one," he whispered in her ear.
"Another one? You still have energy left over from this one?"
"I'd like a little girl who is the spitting image of her mother," he continued, "Or another boy. I think another one would be nice. And I've got some vacation time coming up, we could send Parker to visit your dad or on an extended sleepover with Willow and Tara and we could do a whole second honeymoon thing."
"You're really trying to sweet talk me into getting pregnant again?"
"Yup," he whispered into the crook of her neck, "How's it working?"
"It's working," she sighed, "We should probably talk about this more."
"What's to talk about? We're young, healthy, adults, happily married in our very stable relationship, with jobs, enough money saved up, a rather massive and, frankly, overly-involved extended family," at that his wife gave a snort and elbowed him.
"You know you love the fact that everyone lives to spoil Parker and we have so many possible babysitters for date nights."
"I do, but has it ever occurred to you just how crazily codependent your whole group is?"
"They're your group too; you married into it early on."
"That I did, but I was just trying to get with you."
"Oh, I see how it is. You married me for me."
"Yup."
They were quiet for a moment, two.
"Let's have another one," Buffy whispered.
The next day, Seeley called Buffy, who had the day off, and asked her to bring him a fresh shirt. Apparently, he had a run in with dog drool and then proceeded to dig up a body. Elizabeth was considering just flat out throwing out the shirt he was changing out of. Angela had found the couple up on the catwalk and was chatting with them when Seeley brought up the idea for their second honeymoon.
"Jamaica?" the artist asked, sounding more than a little envious, "God, that's incredible."
Buffy nodded and smiled, "It's this bed and breakfast on these coral cliffs, Seeley picked it out."
Seeley cut in, attempting to save his masculinity in case it was in question, "Snorkeling, kayaking." His wife shot him a look. She knew he had minimal intentions of leaving the bed and breakfast for the whole vacation. She'd probably be the one to drag him off to go snorkeling.
"So where did you go for the first honeymoon?" Angela asked.
The two chuckled, "Considering we were pretty much broke when we first got married and Seeley was about to leave for basic training, our honeymoon was a nice room in a hotel that our families had chipped in to buy for us until Seeley left."
"And now you're getting the same thing. Only with rum punch and steel drums," the artist smiled before leaving the Booths on the catwalk.
"See ya, Angela," Elizabeth called after her. She turned to her husband. "I liked our first honeymoon."
"So did I. Mostly because of that blonde girl I spent most of it with."
"Most of it? All of it, you mean. We barely left the hotel room and when we did we were together."
Seeley shrugged, unapologetic, before kissing her softly, "Thanks for bringing me a shirt, it was good to see you. What's Parker up to?"
"When we walked in there was this special children's tour with an arts and crafts make-your-own-dinosaur thing. He looked so excited he didn't even have to ask me before I caved and signed him up for it. He'll be done in about a half an hour. I think Parker may want to become a scientist if he spends more time at the Jeffersonian. He might beat our SAT scores!" Buffy joked.
"We can only hope. Besides, if that fails he can do what we did- fall back on our good looks," the Agent teased back.
"Well, there is that. You two are some handsome men."
"That's why we get the most beautiful girls," he leaned down for another kiss.
"Ok, I'll let you get back to work. Go catch the bad guy."
They exchanged another not-so-quick kiss and separated just as Brennen walked up the crosswalk.
"Hi, Elizabeth."
"Hey, Temperance." Elizabeth gave a wave before disappearing down the steps.
"It's Eve Warren," Brennen announced to Booth, bringing him back to the matter at hand: the body they had found.
"Eve Warren," the Agent sighed, "Ok, cause of death?"
"Same as Mount."
"Meth overdose."
Brennen nodded, "Pushed in the face, but there's more. I don't think that Rulz killed her."
Her partner was immediately skeptical, "She was buried under his studio," he reminded the anthropologist.
"But her wrist was broken," Temperance said, as if that meant everything.
Seeley waited before finally confessing, "Ok, I'm going to need more of an explanation than that."
After an explanation using the Angela-tron showing Booth that, with his injury, Rulz wouldn't have been able to kill Eve Warren, the Agent and his partner were interrogating the rapper and, to Brennen's great confusion, negotiating sending the man to jail in exchange for information.
"You're negotiating to put this guy in jail?" she asked incredulously.
Seeley continued to negotiate with Rulz, "To sweeten the pot, I'll charge you with Mount's death too. But you hire one of those moron lawyers and you'll be thrown in lockup for what, maybe a month?"
The rapper nodded with a pleased smile, "Sweet, all right."
"Where am I," Brennen wondered out loud, "in Backwards World?"
Rulz's information provided a very nice motive for Hall, but the entire team was stumped in getting tangible evidence.
It was while he and Brennen were poking and prodding Hall, that the good Doctor figured it all out.
"Hey, Booth! Don't break the cane. Arrest him and confiscate the cane as evidence. I need the cane."
Not understanding, but following along with his partner anyways, Booth did so.
Temperance was sure her hypothesis was right; she just needed Zack and Hodgins' help to confirm it. Back at the Jeffersonian, the boys were getting ready to test hitting each other with the cane. Or rather, Hodgins was going to hit Zack.
Angela stood beside Brennen and chatted.
"Get this, I called Elizabeth to recommend some places to go in Jamaica and she told me that she'd try, but Booth probably won't let her leave the bed and breakfast the whole time they're there if he can help it."
"I don't understand why you're sharing this with me as though it were important information," Brennen told her friend.
"It's just… nice I guess. I mean, they've been married for sixteen years almost. It's weird, because sometimes you see them together and it's like they've just gotten married yesterday. Like the newlywed stage never ended."
Hodgins called over to the women, "How many times do you want me to poke Zack?"
"Just once," Brennen instructed, "but as hard as you can."
Zack was visibly upset "As hard as he can? Why don't I hit him as hard as I can?"
"Because you have arms like noodles," Hodgins took the opportunity to take a dig at the younger man, "while I'm vigorous and burly."
Brennen continued her discussion with Angela. "From what I understand their time as newlyweds was spent largely apart due to Booth's training with the army."
Zack's voice carried over to them, "That all you got, burly boy?"
"It's just sweet, that's all honey. It's nice to see people so in love. Intimidating, but also inspiring. I mean, what are the chances of any of the rest of us getting a relationship like that?"
Hodgins interrupted before Brennen could explain that there were too many variables to be able to calculate accurate statistics for that question, "Hey, the mark on Mount and the mark on Eve, they're the same."
Brennen shook her head, "He can't resist hitting them with that stupid cane. The end of the cane, it's a fit for both marks," she points at the screen, "Hall is the killer. Send the cane, the photos and the medium to the FBI, let them confirm the match."
Hodgins looked ready to mount a protest, "What? Let them have all the glory?"
"My chest hurts," Zack muttered while rubbing where the mold had pressed against him.
"Yeah, all the glory," Brennen replied distractedly.
"So, you caught the bad guy," Elizabeth's question was more of a statement, but Seeley responded anyways.
"Yup, bad guy caught, vacation time requested, Parker packed, Willow and Tara prepared to spoil," he sighed and pulled his wife down on the couch with him, right into his lap. She shifted into a more comfortable position and curled up with him, hand resting on his heart.
"Sounds like we're ready. Unless you haven't packed?"
"Oh, I've packed. Please tell me you brought some bikinis."
She smiled and decided to tease her husband a bit, "Why? I thought you said we weren't leaving the room anyways?"
Booth gave a growl and began to tickle her sides. Buffy shrieked and smacked his shoulder.
"Stop stop. Yes, I brought bathing suits. I even bought some new ones for the occasion."
"Ooooh, can you try them on for me?" her husband asks with a lecherous smile.
"Nope," she said, popping the 'p', "They're a surprise. That way you have to let me out of the room to go swimming if you want to see them."
"You're a crafty woman," he smiled.
"I have to be with you."
"So, Jamaica?"
"Jamaica," at that moment, a knock sounded on the door, "And that'd be Wils and Tara here to get Parker and drop us off at the airport."
"Well, let's get going. You know Parker is going to have at least one moment where he seriously tries to get us to stay before realizing his Aunts will let him get away with murder?"
"I'm fully expecting it and have come equipped with bribery and promises."
"Smart woman."
"You saw my SAT scores."
"And was suitably intimidated," he replied as he opened the door to Willow and soft-spoken Tara.
"So I get my nephew for a whole week without having to give him back?" Willow confirmed as she practically danced into the house, "Yay!"
"We'll make sure he doesn't eat too much sugar," Tara promised Seeley.
"We will do no such thing!" Willow shouted, scandalized. "We're aunts- we have a sacred duty to spoil."
"And you do it so well," Buffy told her best friend as she and Parker came into the front room with the last of the luggage.
"You excited, Parker?" Tara asked sweetly, bending down to the small boy, who nodded at his aunt before wordlessly requesting to be picked up. The pending departure of his parents was making him a bit clingy at anyone who would cuddle him. Fortunately, Tara was more than willing to let him attach himself to her like an octopus.
With a lot of noise and unnecessary movement and triple checks, the family got underway and Buffy and Seeley just barely made their plane on time.
Waving goodbye, they slipped their hands into each other's and boarded.
"You know, Jamaica is probably highly overrated," Buffy said, her brows furrowed as she left Parker behind.
"Babe, he's with Willow and Tara- he's more than fine."
"You're right, of course. It's just-" she released a huff of breath and shook her head, "No, you're right."
"Of course," Seeley admitted, "If we wanted to go swimming and stay in bed all day we could do that just as well in D.C."
"Seeley," Buffy reminded him, "He'll be more than fine."
Now it was his turn to sigh, "You're right. Jamaica here we come," he added with a big smile.
"Yup. Sand; surf; tanning."
Seeley smiled and replied, "Big bed; room service; you tanning."
I hope you guys loved that chapter as much as I loved writing it- and oh my god, Xander and Anya were fun. I'm going to have to add them in more often.
Please leave a review as you go. :D
