The next few weeks passed without much event. Severus continued to tutor Evan in his free time, even helped him brew a potion for his mother's stores. As for Madam Baker, Severus was fast becoming close friends with her, although he hadn't revealed any of his more personal feelings to her since Evan's birthday.

The initial shock of being so intensely reminded of Lily by Belinda had worn off, and he had managed to accept that she was an altogether different person. Lily would never have been emotionally absent for her son, having known the effects of Eileen's similar behavior. And this woman was so careful and calculating- Lily was rash, a true Gryffindor.

Both Evan and Belinda seemed to bear strong resemblance to her, however, and he found himself shaken every so often by a laugh, a facial expression, a saying she had been fond of. But Belinda had attended school with her after all. As far as Severus knew, she and Lily had been friends. At any rate, Severus found himself still lost inside.

The day before school would start again, he found himself in the Baker living room, discussing potions research with Madam Baker, Evan chiming in on occasion to ask a question or supply an observation, but mostly just listening intently.

"What about Gondo Beetles? I haven't given them much thought, but perhaps their properties would aid this particular potion?" Madam Baker was attempting to create a protection potion against the Imperious curse.

"Gondo Beetles would react badly with the Mayberry Leaves," Evan quickly supplied. "Come on Mom, that's Elementary," he teased.

Madam Baker gave her son a withering look. "I think it's time for you to go to bed."

"And the reaction between Gondo Beetles and Mayberry leaves can be safely neutralized by a few different methods," Severus added, amused. "The next time I return, I expect you to know them."

Evan's eyes widened. "Yes, Professor," he murmured excitedly, his thoughts racing as he wondered how the two ingredients could be made to work together.

After he had gone up the stairs, Belinda turned to Severus. "He's getting cheeky, isn't he?"

"Perhaps a small amount of arrogance, but he responds well to critique. It seems to excite him."

"That's no surprise. I have tried my best to form his view of the world and of the challenges he encounters as a kind of… Puzzle-solving. I came to the realization somewhat late myself, but once I did, life and work became much more fun."

"And yet, you were a Gryffindor. I must say, I find that surprising."

Belinda smiled. "A thirst for knowledge is a Ravenclaw trait, but it isn't something I value above all things. My family- my son- my friends, even those I haven't seen in years. I would die before I let harm come to my son."

Severus took a slow breath. "Lily thought the same way."

Belinda froze for a moment, felt something like lightning go through her, but quickly recovered. "Lily Evans-Potter. Yes, she did think that way. But she was also rather rash."

Severus looked at her. "I suppose so."

"The two of you were friends, were you not?"

"Yes. She was my best friend, actually."

"Why did you become a Death Eater, then?"

The look she gave him was harsh. Her eyes held contempt, and something- some kind of indignation.

He was silent for a long time. She watched his face, but only saw extreme pain there, and she looked away, feeling guilty for asking. But she had to know.

Finally, he began to speak.

"I did not have the greatest childhood, and school did not offer me much better. There was a boy at school who… He didn't like me, nor I him. I often felt… I suppose the best word is impotent. I felt the need to prove myself. I wanted to be cool and interesting. I wanted to be powerful, to have people look upon me with a kind of reverence."

"Then why join the Death Eaters? Dumbledore is powerful, but he has always been on the side of good."

Severus offered her a pained smile. "Hindsight is 20/20, they say."

She shook her head. "There has to be more to it than that. You must have had some stronger reason."

"Well, my mother owned only magic books revolving around the dark arts, and my father was a muggle, who didn't like magic or wizards and didn't hesitate to show it. I suppose that may have affected my leanings in some way," Severus said wryly.

"Lily Evans was your best friend. Are you telling me you still held a prejudice against muggles even with a muggleborn witch as your best friend?"

He smiled. "Lily was more powerful than I was, you know. I didn't have a prejudice against muggleborns, but muggles still disgusted me for quite some time. Although, her parents showed me much kindness… I thought I could protect her, I thought that if I joined the Death Eaters and became impressive, she would…"

"She would what?"

He swallowed. "Fall in love with me."

Madam Baker sucked in a breath. "Oh. That explains a lot."

He narrowed his eyes. "And I suppose that is amusing."

"I'm not laughing, I'm trying to understand why you thought the best way to get your crush to like you was to join a cause that would have her tortured and killed at the first opportunity." She stared hard at his guilty face, calculating, considering.

"Like I said, hindsight is 20/20. But I like to think I've gained some sense since then."

They were both silent for a long moment. Then, Madam Baker spoke, slowly, carefully, "she had a bit of a crush on you too, you know."

Severus tried to ignore the jolt that went through his body. "Excuse me?"

"She did. Mary caught her staring at you in seventh year from far away. You were laughing and talking with some girl. Mary teased her about it relentlessly, and that was the week she started dating James Potter. I don't think her feelings for you were quite as strong or even as romantically inclined as yours were, and more than that, she knew there would be no dating you, since you had already joined the death eaters by then. Besides, she did happen to like James. Becoming James's girlfriend immediately squashed any rumors about her supposed feelings for you. It was a smart move, really."

"She-"

"There really was no chance the two of you would have worked, at that point. Tell me, if she had asked, would you have abandoned the cause? Would you have been able to ensure the safety of her family and friends?"

He closed his eyes and bowed his head, hiding his face under a curtain of hair. She watched him struggle for a moment, before he admitted, "no. I enjoyed the power far too much- I was too far gone. I was blind to the fact that I was putting her in even more danger by being on that side, but more than that, I was enjoying myself. I felt like I belonged with those people. Perhaps we were all victims of circumstance in that regard- the misfits no one wanted, coupled with the rich who needed warriors for their cause. I was highly respected by them. In the end though, they would have sold me out in an instant for the same power."

They were silent together, both lost in thought. Finally, he looked up at her, attempting to hide the pain he felt in knowing he had destroyed everything he had ever wanted by his own actions. But she knew him too well, could see even though she now needed glasses to do it. She hadn't forgiven him yet, but she could sense something good in him, even after all those years. She nodded at him, and he seemed to relax.

A change of subject was certainly in order.

"How are you getting back to Hogwarts? I always wondered how Professors traveled to and from the school."

He gave her an odd look. "I usually floo to the Hog's Head."

"Really? Does anyone ride the train with the children?"

"One or two professors will occasionally be on board, but generally not unless we've been asked to heighten security for some purpose. My first year teaching, the war was still going on when school started, so the Headmaster himself rode the train with the students, alongside Minerva and Filius."

She shook her head. "You, a Professor. I must say, Master Snape, you never really struck me as the type. But the way you are with Evan… it makes sense."

"That's surprising, considering I can't stand children. I'm known by my students as the bat of the dungeons."

She laughed. "Bat of the dungeons! You know, Ha- Evan told me he thought you were a giant bat when he first saw you."

Her stutter was left unnoticed by the Potions master, who was enjoying himself for the first time in years.

"Ëvan is a special case."

"So you're saying, you like my son enough that you don't mind him mistaking you for a bat?"

He shrugged. "Giant bats are terrifying, aren't they? That's what I've always wanted, after all."

"You really do seem different than I… expected," observed Belinda. "Especially when it comes to my son."

Severus sighed. "I was… in a very dark place, after the war. Dumbledore put me through some muggle counseling… and then also through some muggle teaching courses. I think McGonagal put him up to it, really. Meddling woman…"

"How'd he get you to even go to something like that?" Belinda asked incredulously.

"The old coot suggested it during my trial," grumbled Severus, "as part of my punishment for joining the Death Eaters in the first place, in order to rehabilitate me. It was either that or Azkaban, but I must say I was unaware at the time that I would have much preferred Azkaban over attempting to teach muggle children the ABCs."

She laughed, and he offered a small smile. He loved to hear her laugh, not because it sounded like Lily's laugh, but because it was a beautiful laugh, and something about seeing this woman, with light, thin brown hair and lines etched on her face- something about seeing her form in such a state of joy made him happy. He caught himself thinking this, and took a moment to compose his emotions. Madam Baker was kind, a good friend, but he couldn't see her ever wanting to be more to him than a fellow Potions Master.

"You know, that last trip to Hogsmeade was Evan's first," she said, interrupting his thoughts.

He looked at her. She wore a mischievous grin, and he didn't have to probe her mind to know what she wanted him to ask.

"Perhaps the two of you can floo there with me early," he suggested. "I had some things to pick up from the local apothecary anyway."

He knew he was taking a chance, even though she had been obvious about her interest in going with him. Everyone in Hogsmeade, including the other professors who would be flooing to school, would see them together, with the child. Dumbledore already suspected something had changed.

"We'd be delighted," Madam Baker replied, a warm smile gracing her face.