A/N - Well. Hi.

I really had no intention of taking an entire year to finish this story, and I apologize so very much. But you know the drill...life happens, and the show itself isn't exactly inspiring me lately, either. But here it is, and there will be one more (last) chapter coming along in the next day or two. Thank you for your patience and dedication, and I hope I won't let you guys down again. Feedback is always appreciated, and rock on.


And so, Penny and Sheldon did something neither of them ever thought was possible-they started dating. On nights when he didn't have such a rigid schedule, she would cook for him (at her apartment, since "giving Leonard some space" was still the name of the game). And not just hot dogs and spaghetti, either. They'd sit at the table and listen to her music and they'd talk about their day, even if none of those things exactly came natural to either of them. They'd go to movies, they'd do laundry on Saturday nights, they'd go to the train store and shoe shopping. And they kissed. A lot.

No one could have guessed from the beginning, but he and Penny actually worked well together. They were always learning from each other; one had strengths the other didn't possess, and together, they could take on anything. It wasn't easy; neither of them would ever claim it was easy. Penny craved intimacy, and Sheldon craved intellectual discussions, neither of which the other could provide on the level their partner secretly wanted. But over the last couple of months, they were figuring it out. And at some point-he didn't know when, exactly-Sheldon had decided to just let it happen. To stop resisting his overwhelming feelings for Penny, these new sensations that he still didn't quite understand. As a result, Penny let down most of her walls and let herself be vulnerable, as well. Maybe, just maybe, this was going to work.

Now it was Fourth of July, seven months since they began this experiment of theirs. Sheldon had a long-running policy of not participating in Independence Day activities. He did not care for fireworks, nor did he enjoy big groups of people craning their necks to look at the sky. What was the point? How ridiculous. However, Penny loved the occasion, and he wanted to make her happy. As Sheldon had been learning for quite a while now, relationships were based on compromise. And besides, Penny was well aware of his distaste for such activities, but she came up with something they'd both like-they were enjoying the fireworks aboard the Queen Mary. It definitely wasn't a train, but ships were certainly up there on Sheldon's list of favorite transportation.

As the fireworks exploded in brilliant colors above their heads, Sheldon and Penny stood by the railing with the hundreds of people who had the same idea, and they participated in Sheldon's new favorite activity-making out. Before Penny came along and showed him the error of his ways, he had no idea that kissing someone could be this enjoyable. But then again, he knew somewhere in that scientific brain of his that it wasn't just someone he was kissing, it was Penny. Beautiful, smart, wise, Penny. His Penny.

Mid make-out and fireworks session, Sheldon wondered what would happen once they got back home. They'd probably go back to her apartment-Leonard was finally, finally getting used to the idea of Sheldon and Penny together, but he would probably not appreciate them making out in front of him-and things would, as usual, get a little too heated. Penny respected Sheldon's wish to take it slow and would only go as far as he was comfortable, which, in almost seven months, probably wasn't as far as she would have liked. Of course he wanted to experience every part of her, but he wanted to savor the moment, too. He wanted something to look forward to. So kissing and heavy petting on her couch was about as much as he could handle at the moment.

Sheldon put his arm around Penny and she leaned into him. He kissed her forehead. The fireworks were getting a bit more intense and Sheldon knew the finale was approaching.

While Penny was smiling up at the sky, enjoying the scenery, Sheldon said, "I was thinking, perhaps for Halloween you could be the Black Widow. You sort of resemble Scarlett Johansson. And I could be, I don't know, Hawkeye or something. I think I could be good with an arrow...doesn't seem difficult."

Penny chuckled. "Oh, you think you can pull off Hawkeye? Well, that makes sense if you think I look like Scarlett." She smiled. "That's sweet that you're thinking that far ahead for us." She kissed him and it was a long, lingering kiss that for some reason left too much unsaid. That happened sometimes, when she kissed him and it went so deep into his soul that he almost dreaded when the kiss came to its inevitable stopping point. There was always the worry that something wasn't quite right about their relationship. That someday, somehow, what goes around always seems to come back around. Sheldon was obviously not the kind of person who believed in karma, but he couldn't seem to shake off the feeling of dread. And, as it turned out, for good reason.

"Well, of course. It's only three months away, we have to plan for these things," Sheldon said matter of factly. Penny giggled, but then turned to face him. She had a strange look, one that Sheldon had seen before but never directed towards him...only Leonard. Uh-oh. There was that feeling of dread again.

"Sheldon...there's something I need to tell you. I was waiting for the right time, and this seems like it's as good as any," Penny said, looking nervous and sad.

Sheldon exhaled. "Well...go ahead, tell me." He had no idea what she was going to say. What could it possibly be?

"I'm not going to be here for Halloween. I'm moving back to Nebraska in September. I'm...I'm sorry." She really did look to be on the brink of tears. His first instinct was to comfort her because she looked so sad. But then what she said resonated in his heart, and it hit him like a truck.

As the fireworks culminated in an illuminating finale above their heads, Sheldon Cooper finally understood what it felt like to get his heart broken.

...

Penny was never the kind of girl who needed to be in love to feel whole. She always had a rather cynical view about romance, which was probably why her relationship with Leonard never quite worked. Sure, she enjoyed being in a relationship and loved being physically intimate. But the main priority of her life was focusing on her career, which had never exactly gone the way she planned. So over the past couple of months, Penny was going through a silent downward spiral. Sheldon was...he was wonderful. They had so much fun together, well, most of the time. He made her happy. Their unlikely relationship was fulfilling, she would never say it wasn't. But Penny knew that she couldn't keep relying on the men in her life to fulfill her completely. Radiating through her was an ache that went from head to toe. She was going to have to make a change, and it was probably going to really suck.

Her lack of a career wasn't Penny's only problem, either. Oh, no. Not even close. Picture this: you come home from a fun evening out with your boyfriend. He's wearing that shirt you like, and he smells so good. You've been dating for a while now, and he's the best kisser you've ever known. He escorts you to your door, and you kind of fall into each other for a few minutes while an epic kiss occurs. He is running his fingers through your hair, you're holding on to him as tight as possible, feeling the muscles in his back, desperately wanting to know what they feel like under his shirt. And then...he manages to tear himself from your grasp, say goodnight, and then walk away. Into his own apartment, where maybe later he will text you before he goes to sleep. And you sigh, unlock your door, throw yourself on the bed and wonder how you came to find yourself in a relationship with someone who doesn't value sexual chemistry nearly as much as you do. Someone who had never gotten past second base-with anyone. It was taking a toll on Penny, and there was nothing she could do about it. Of course she knew going in that Sheldon wasn't going to take her home and ravage her until the sun came up, but...it was getting so much harder than she ever anticipated.

So here she was. A few months away from giving up and going back to her childhood home. Obviously Penny should have told Sheldon sooner. She should have talked to him about it, she should have run the idea by him first, she should have done everything differently. But this is who Penny is...she runs. When things get especially bad or especially good, she runs. It's just, sometimes she'd be out with Sheldon somewhere and the sunlight highlights his hair and his eyes and he looks so...innocent. Like if they were together much longer, she'd corrupt him. Most of her knew that was absolutely ridiculous, but she understood the truth. She was going to hurt Sheldon even more if they stayed together, whether he knew it or not.

Penny came to this realization a month earlier. She was having dinner with Bernadette at their favorite hole in the wall pizza place. They were sharing a large pepperoni and chatting about the usual subjects.

"This is so good," Bernadette said, inhaling a piece of pizza. "I only eat like this with you. You're a bad influence on me!"

"Yeah, well, I've been working out extra hard lately," Penny said. "So I don't know about you, but I feel like I deserve it."

"Good point," Bernadette said.

In between bites, Penny said, "So...have you talked to Amy lately?" Amy was a touchy subject these days, but Penny was curious. She still felt terrible about how it all went down, and would send Amy a text at least once a week to see if she would answer. Of course, Amy never did. The only way Penny knew Amy was alive was by her sporadic tweets, which were always about the project she was working on or what she had for breakfast.

Bernadette nodded and Penny waited for her to finish chewing. "I talked to her last week. She's in Prague now, if you can believe it. She's doing some research there. She sounded happy."

Penny didn't ask if Amy mentioned her or not. If she did, it wouldn't have been in a nice way. But really, what could Penny do? She apologized a million times. Begged for forgiveness. Felt like crap about it for months. But it wasn't enough, and Penny didn't blame her. Sheldon was the love of Amy's life, and now she'd have to start all over again.

"Well, that's nice. She deserves to be happy," Penny said thoughtfully.

"Yep. So how's the job search going?" Bernadette asked, probably to change the subject. Penny knew Bernie hated being stuck in the middle of her problems with Amy.

"Well, yesterday I auditioned for "Girl Number three" for a party scene on Two and a Half Men. I didn't get it. I feel really good about that, if you were wondering."

Penny's career, once again, was at a crossroads. No, not a crossroads-a standstill. Starlight City had been cancelled months ago. Not that it was a surprise to anyone. And not that William stopped contacting her...he emailed her every other day, it seemed like, just to say he saw a car that looked like hers and it made him think of Penny, or something stupid like that. Even after the 39 times Penny said she was in a relationship and she wasn't interested in him whatsoever. Whatever. He was harmless. Annoying, but she'd encountered so much worse in her life.

"Yuck," Bernadette said. "So what are you going to do next? Do you have a plan?"

Penny shook her head. "Not really. I have to come up with something, though. Even if I never make it as an actress, waitress at the Cheesecake Factory is not my dream job. I liked taking those classes at the community college, I might do that again."

Bernadette looked thoughtful. "Maybe what you need is a big change. Shake things up. Train to be a ballet dancer or a professional scuba diver. I don't know, something."

"What do you mean?" Penny asked. "I'd suck at ballet dancing, I can barely walk in a straight line."

"I just mean, maybe you weren't meant to be an actress, Penny. I know it's your dream, but I've seen how hard you've struggled over the years and I wonder if it's really worth it. Maybe it was just a stepping stone to your real career. Maybe you just need to take some time to figure out what your next move should be. You deserve more, that's all I'm saying."

Penny knew Bernadette was right. And right there in the middle of her favorite pizza place, Penny decided what she needed to do. It wasn't going to be easy, but maybe it would be worth it.

...

Meanwhile, on the way home from the Queen Mary, Sheldon was way too chatty. He babbled on and on about the fireworks and facts about the Queen Mary and basically everything except the matter at hand. Penny drove and listened and wondered if he actually did process what she just told him and he had no idea how to react. Or maybe, just maybe, he didn't care as much as she did. Penny assumed they were on the same page; they weren't heaping "I love yous" on each other at every moment of the day but they did say it when it mattered. So why was he reacting this way? It was driving her crazy.

When they finally arrived back at the apartment, Penny turned off the car and grabbed Sheldon's arm before he could get out.

"Hey, um, you never said anything about me leaving. Can we talk about it?" She asked nervously.

"Well, of course. You're going to Nebraska because you feel like you have exhausted all your other options here." Sheldon did not look particularly bothered by this.

"Well...yeah," Penny said, wondering what exactly was going on here. "That is what I'm doing, but-"

"And I suppose that means our relationship is effectively over. It had to end eventually, right?"

Even though Penny's intention was in fact to break up with Sheldon, she didn't like this conclusion he came to.

"Well, not exactly! I mean, we could do the long distance thing, or, I don't know, maybe you could come with me, or you could ask me to stay, or something..." Penny instantly regretted everything she just said. She was not the kind of girl who begs for a man for anything. But with Sheldon, he brought out a weird kind of desperation in her. That was another reason why she just had to get away.

"Oh, Penny, I couldn't possibly go with you to Nebraska, it just wouldn't be practical at all," Sheldon said. "And you shouldn't stay here because there's nothing left for you to do if you're not going to be an actress. I suppose you could teach acting if you were so inclined."

"I'm not going to stop being an actress," Penny said indignantly. "I just need a break. And my family needs me."

"Well, then you have to go," Sheldon said, and then got his phone out to look up the name of a subatomic particle or something. He was so infuriating sometimes! How could he so easily not care about his girlfriend leaving? Penny knew, knew she was the one who made the decision to leave and she had no right to be angry with Sheldon's reaction. That did not, however, stop her irrational anger.

How had she imagined this conversation would end, how this night would go? Maybe she expected him to be, well, kind of sad? Maybe mad that she hadn't discussed it with him? She kind of wanted to go back to her place and cuddle and talk about it, at least. In all the time she spent thinking about what would happen, she never expected him to just...do nothing. To not have any kind of reaction at all. And it suddenly made her doubt the entire relationship.

Penny drove in silence for a few minutes, occasionally seeing stray fireworks from above. She knew that in the future, whenever she saw fireworks, she'd think of this night. And not in fondness.

When she couldn't stand it any longer, she said, "Aren't you going to be, like, I don't know, sad?"

"Sad about what?" Sheldon asked, looking genuinely confused.

"Sad about us, Sheldon. Sad that we aren't going to be together anymore. Sad that we don't get to see each other every day anymore. You know...sad!"

"Oh, well, I did have to adjust my life quite a bit to fit you into it, so yes, I will be sad that I have to change it again. My routine will get all messed up!"

Ugh, this was brutal. Rather than continue to pry, Penny said, "Oh. Well...sorry about that."

Sheldon nodded. And that was it. Nothing more to say.

When they got home, Sheldon didn't kiss her. He said, "Good night, Penny," and disappeared inside his apartment. Penny stared at his door, heartbroken and sad. He didn't even care. She was head over heels in love with him, and he didn't even care. This was not the way she wanted things to end. But as she was learning, most of the time, things never go the way she planned.

...

Penny's going away party was a small affair. There was the usual-Howard, Bernie, Sheldon, Raj, Leonard, Stuart-and some friends from work. Noticeably absent was Amy. She was invited, but Sheldon didn't blame her for not coming. Why would she? If he could get away with it, he wouldn't be at this "party," either.

It had been a long two months since the Fourth. Although he still saw Penny frequently, even he could tell their interactions were tense and kind of awkward. He still felt the same way about her as always, but when she made her decision to leave, what could he do about it? Sheldon figured all relationships end up like this. People fall in love, and then they disappear. See, this is what happens when you let your guard down. Sheldon knew the whole thing was a mistake from the beginning. It just didn't feel like a mistake in the beginning, when he felt like kissing Penny was the thing he'd been missing from his life this whole time.

Penny laughed with all her guests and drank copious amounts of wine. Ever since they broke up, Sheldon noticed she basically picked right back up with the drinking. He also noticed the way she looked at him now. When they were together, she looked at him like he could do no wrong. Like he had all the answers to every one of her questions. It made him feel so powerful. But now, she looked at him with venom in her eyes. Or even worse, she looked at him like he was a stranger. Like they never shared something important. Like he didn't risk everything that was important to him just to be in a relationship with her.

Near midnight, when Sheldon was well past the point of cranky and just wanted everyone out of his apartment, Leonard tapped on his wine glass to get everyone's attention.

"I just wanted to say, Penny, there are no words for how much we're going to miss you," Leonard said-well, slurred. "Yes, we've had our differences, but the last seven years I've spent getting to know you has made me a better person. We love you. I-please-Penny, don't go! We can-" Before Leonard made himself look even worse, Raj took his hand and led him to the bathroom, where Sheldon assumed Leonard emptied the contents of his stomach.

Now the attention was on Penny again. She smiled and cleared her throat. "Um, well, that was interesting. Anyway, thanks for coming tonight, guys. I love all of you. Some more than others, obviously, but I love every single one of you. I'll come visit, but you guys need to visit me, too! I swear Nebraska isn't the most boring place on earth. But again, thank you for allowing me to come into your lives. I learned so much while I was here. I had fun, I ate a lot of Thai food, I went on a lot of auditions...and I fell in love, had my heart broken, and now I'm leaving. See you guys on the other side!" Everyone applauded and she took a small curtsy. She hugged everyone extra tight and then tried to shuffle her way back home. Sheldon opened the door for her. She didn't hug him.

"Thanks, Sheldon," she said. "Have a nice life." And then she was gone. Well, that was anticlimactic. He couldn't let it end that way, could he? After all they shared together, and he didn't even get a hug? It felt all wrong.

After everyone finally left, Sheldon brushed his teeth and got into bed. Usually he fell right to sleep, but he couldn't on this night for some reason. Of course it was obvious why, but it didn't come to him until he glanced at the clock and it was 3:00 AM. Sheldon sighed. What would someone else, someone who was actually adept at these kinds of situations, do in his shoes? He wasn't sure, but he had to do something.

So...

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Penny answered the door looking tired and sad. He noticed that all her belongings were now in boxes, waiting for her brother and dad to come help her move. Sheldon wondered if maybe he should have helped her pack. Nah.

"What is it, Sheldon? I need to go to bed, there's a lot to do tomorrow."

Sheldon thought about what to say. This was the first time he'd been speechless in quite a while, but he was so nervous! What did she want from him, anyway?

Penny looked irritated. "Well, come on, spit it out!"

"Penny...why are you so angry with me?" Sheldon finally said.

Penny chuckled. "You really don't know?"

"Of course I don't. That's why I asked."

"Fine. Come in, but only for a second." Sheldon followed Penny inside and sat beside her on the couch, careful to not look at the empty bottle of wine on the table.

Penny fumbled with a small hole in the couch. Her expression told him that she wanted to be anywhere but in that room with him.

"I'm mad at you because you don't care. You've avoided me for months now. Tonight, you didn't say anything about me leaving, and you didn't even hug me. I thought...I thought we had something special together and I thought it was worth fighting for, but sometimes I feel like you thought of it as a scientific experiment, and once it was over, you moved on. And I hate feeling that way, Sheldon! I hate feeling so...discarded. I love you. You know? I love you, and the cold shoulder thing hurts."

Wow. Sheldon had no idea how to respond to that. Again, he wondered why he ever thought a romantic relationship would ever be what he wanted. But he took a look at Penny and her vulnerability and her eyes and her wisdom and her intelligence and her soft curves, and he knew why. But even with that knowledge, he was starting to get angry. How could she accuse him of treating her like an experiment? How could she have known him for all these years and not realized that he had no idea whatsoever how to deal with a situation as fragile as this one?

"First of all, if you thought it was worth fighting for, then why are you leaving? I'm sure I could help you figure out what to do next in your career if we really sat down to think about it," Sheldon said, getting angrier and more frustrated with every word he said. "As for our relationship, I know we had some challenges, but you never expressed disappointment or frustration towards me, so I don't really understand what you mean by that, either. Now, in regards to my demeanor towards you, you seem to think I don't care for you as much as you care for me. You were never my 'experiment.' I told you in the hospital that I loved you, too, but that wasn't enough. You continue to doubt me. So, if you're wondering, yes, I will miss you. I have missed you ever since we broke up. But this was your decision. I may not know much about these things, but I know you're putting your guilt about leaving me into my hands, and I do not appreciate it. I came here to make amends, but you know what? I do not wish to do so at this time. Good-bye, Penny. I wish you luck in Nebraska. I hope you find what you're looking for."

And Sheldon got up and walked out before he could look at Penny's face. If this was the price of falling in love, he never wanted to pay it.