Hey guys! Here's another long overdue chapter (cause life keeps happening). Hope there are still some of you guys interested. Were finally getting some more Kylo and flashbacks of Ben. Hopefully that makes up for ghosting you guys. Happy reading!
"The Supreme Leader is growing rather impatient," I had to sit and listen to Hux's annoyingly, nasal voice. Meetings were not things I attended but I was also curious about the progress of Starkiller Base's weapon. If what was promised was true, the weapon would put both the first and second Death Star to shame.
"I understand General Hux," the newest head of production stuttered out. "The weapon is almost there. Further small scale tests are needed before we can take the chance of turning on the true weapon." I vaguely scanned over the calendar on screen that held around testing timeline.
Thankfully, my mask was on so I could close my eyes while still intimidating everyone at the table. When I scanned the calendar, I couldn't help but notice autumn was only a few weeks away. It had been months since I last thought about her. Autumn was her favorite time of the year. Her birthday was only a week before and one of her favorite holidays was Equinox Day. The last time I celebrated the holiday was with Vesta, months before my uncle's betrayal and the destruction of the temple.
"Did you fall asleep or something? I thought you wanted to go to this party?" I knocked on her door as my other hand dug into my pocket. I definitely felt out of place in the suit I had to wear. She told me to meet and escort her to the party by six and it was already half past six. My uncle had given us leave since my mother requested my presence. I knew mother was trying to appeal to the people on Hosnian Prime to gain her seat on Senate.
My ears caught the sounds of heels hurrying over to the bedroom door. We had been given our own rooms in the apartment my mother was currently living in. My heart leapt out of my chest as the door finally opened and I took in her appearance.
"Sorry, I was having a hard time getting into this dress," the young jedi's graceful frame stood before mine. With her heels, her eyes were now level with my mouth. I had seen her dressed up before but had never felt something quite like this before. She was wearing a dress from her mother's home planet of Naboo and it was far from subtle. I was so entranced by her. "Ben? You alright up there?" she poked my forehead, pulling me out of the spell.
"Yeah, just dying from boredom while I was waiting for you," I joked, trying to hide the blush I felt forming. Curse this girl for being the only one to stir these emotions in me.
"I'm sorry. Your mother brought me this dress about an hour ago but I was having a hard time getting into it on my own," she blushed. "I don't look foolish, do I?" She was stunning and radiant. The soft blush color of her dress really made her green eyes pop. Her beauty was striking.
"I think you look fine," I cleared my throat. "We should probably get going," I nodded down the hall. Something in me just couldn't bring myself to tell her what I truly thought. Her face fell a little but she nodded in agreement.
Our entire trip to the festivities was quiet but it wasn't an awkward silence. We both had always found peace in each others presence without having to say anything. I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of her but any time she started to look my way, my eyes took interest in something else so she wouldn't catch me.
Once at the event, she wrapped her arm around mine. My heart raced at the contact as my eyes met hers.
"I'm not used to wearing heels and I'd rather not look like a fool in front of these people," she laughed, tucking hair behind her ear. All I could do was nod and lead the way towards the river. Equinox Day marked the first day of autumn and was really only celebrated on a few planets. Hosnian Prime started the holiday and, every year, hosted sunsail races, in which contestants traversed a course that followed the river's path while people gathered along the banks to watch them. The Senate had rented one of the mansions along the river for the night to watch the races and celebrate. Everyone was out in the back gardens. The party had already begun and I was ready to leave. I could feel my mother's presence not far so I scanned the yard. She was with a group of people, sitting on stands that were set up to watch the races. "Oh! It's starting! C'mon Ben!" I was quite literally yanked back into the moment towards the bank. She had a knack for weaving her way to the best position. Letting go of my hand, she waved as the racers passed.
I couldn't help but feel the darkness within me fill my head with whispers. They only grew louder as I heard laughter and cheers around me. Disgust filled me as I took in the people around us. They were people who thought their life was hard when they were late for work or the store ran out of the latest trend. All of them lived a life of excess. They didn't understand true struggle or pain. Some of them I had known most of my life because of my mother's connections. Their fake smiles and insincere conversations never sat well with me. They were all weak and foolish. My anger started to rise as I thought about it. A wave of calmness washed over me as I felt a warm hand intertwined with mine. My eyes looked down to see she had taken hold of my hand while she continued watching the race. It almost seemed like she was purposefully trying to share her energy with me. Had she felt what I was feeling before? I had a feeling it was because of the Force. It wouldn't be the first time I questioned a possible emotional connection between the two of us. There had been other times she had made me feel calm or at peace. I had been in contact with this being known as Snoke and his calls to the dark side were very tempting. He was offering more power than anyone could imagine. She seemed to be the one thing to keep me from fully committing. I wondered if she suspected my conflict. I shook my head, willing myself to not think about all this right now. If I was here with her, I'd tried to put forth the effort and try to enjoy the night. She was one of the loudest fans but she didn't care. The holiday was meant to be celebrated and she would.
After the races, the party moved back inside to the ballroom. Dinner was laid out and there was a band to entertain. My mother finally made her way to us. She was very interested in introducing us to everyone she knew. As a means of escape, we had to express our hunger just to get away. The food was top notch and plentiful. I hadn't eaten anything this quality in years. She was definitely stuffing her face, enjoying everything. Her home planet was not a wealthy one. She had done the same thing when we were children. I held back the smile it brought to me. I also couldn't help but notice her eyes glued to the dancefloor. Did she want to dance? Was she into that? As I worked up the nerve to ask her to dance, another man swept over and offered her his hand. Blushing, she flashed me a smile before she took it and was whisked away.
How dare he ask her. He didn't even know her. My face fell into a frown as I watched him spin her around. She was so graceful despite her worries of wearing heels. He leaned in and whispered something to her causing a smile and a laugh to escape her lips. I wasn't a dancer but that should've been me with her. As I finished my drink, I stood up marching my way to them. He held her one hand, spinning her out to the music so I saw this as my chance to cut in. Taking her free hand, I pulled her towards me, wrapping my other arm around her waist.
"Ben?" her eyes grew wide as they focused on mine. Our bodies were flush and it was making my head spin.
"I didn't like the way that guy was looking at you," I stepped back a little so we could move to the music. My eyes scanned the other couples to see what style of dance we were doing.
"He was nice. He knew some funny jokes," she shrugged, silently guiding me in the dance.
"It's not like he was anyone special. His family is new-money moisture farmers from Tatooine," I scoffed as the music suddenly softened into a slow dance. Couples around us got closer to each other, swaying to the music. She gazed up at me with an expression I couldn't read. All I could focus on was her lips pulling up into a smirk. I couldn't help but wonder what those lips felt like against mine.
"Is there someone special enough you'd recommend me to give my attention to?" she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck. Yeah, me, I thought to myself. I shivered a little as my fingers grazed her bare back.
"Does it really matter? This time tomorrow we'll be back at the temple training," I stared into her green eyes. The playful spark faded from them.
"Do you ever regret agreeing to train as a jedi?" she asked, her fingers gently played with the ends of my hair. Where did that come from? I mean, I knew I was the strongest padawan at the temple. I didn't have the best handle over the Force compared to my skills with the lightsaber but I wasn't helpless with it.
"Do you?" I asked back, unsure if I did or not. Her eyes traveled down to the buttons of my jacket as she thought about it. I felt conflict within her.
"I'm thankful for the Force and all that it has given me. Jedi training teaches us things like serenity, peace, harmony," she listed. "As Master Luke says, it forbids us from forming attachments," she bit her lip as she looked back up at me. A ripple of emotion waved through me. As much as I tried, I had a hard time not forming an attachment. "No matter how hard I meditate or train, I can't close my heart in such a way…." we were no longer dancing. We stood in the middle of the crowd but focused in our own world. Her family was dead and I was certain she held our peers as nothing more than acquaintances. Maybe she was talking about that pilot she grew up with? "I also fear this struggle is feeding this growing darkness within me."
"Darkness?" my eyes studied hers. She suddenly froze, realizing she told me something she had not intended to share.
"I haven't been able to shake this voice from my thoughts. It's feeding me lies," she shook her, stepping away from me. She seemed to regret revealing this to me. "I'm sure it's all a test."
"What does it say to you?" I pressed, taking her hand in mine. Had Snoke been speaking to her too? She stared at our hands, thinking.
"I'll lose the man I love to the darkness."
"Ren? Are you listening Ren?" The nasal voice melted away the memory. My eyes opened once more to see all eyes at the table on me. Hux's face was red from anger, like usual.
"Tell me again," I responded, regretting coming to this meeting.
"Captain, please tell repeat what you just told us to Commander Ren," Hux looked across the room. Captain Phasma must've entered when I was reminiscing. She was another interesting character I didn't fully trust but I'd prefer her company over Hux.
"It appears division four had failed in obtaining Yora Napoles on Nar Shaddaa but they were able to receive some important documentations from his apartment that will aid our search," she explained.
"You're telling me a nobody like Napoles was able to outwit the First Order?" I stood up, ready to leave. This was a waste of my time.
"He had help. The Resistance. A man and woman," she stepped to the side so I could walk past her. "The girl was seen wielding a lightsaber…" That stopped me in my tracks.
"What did you say?" Slowly, I turned to look at her.
"The men reported she was a force user that held a purple lightsaber." How was that possible? All the jedi, with the exception of my uncle, were dead. Had I, and the others, missed someone that night at the temple? Maybe she was the one who took down Vesta on Devaron.
"I will bring this to the Supreme Leader's attention," my head was spinning from this new development. "If she should be seen again. Bring her here to me. Alive."
