**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related. But I do own this storyline and an autograph from Kellan that says, "Hello Danell! I heart you! Love Kellan" *does happy dance**


Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not,
Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught,
But you put on quite a show,
You really had me going,
But now it's time to go,
Curtains finally closing,
That was quite a show,
Very entertaining,
But it's over now,
Go on and take a bow,
And the award for the best liar goes to you,
For making me believe that you could be faithful to me,
Let's hear your speech out?
But you put on quite a show you really had me going...

"Take A Bow" - Rhianna (Although I prefer the Glee version)

-----

I woke up feeling emotionally drained. I had no idea why my subconscious had decided to drag up memories of Jasper again.

Walking into the bathroom, I stared at my reflection in the mirror, wincing at how bruised my nose looked.

Great. I really will look like I got beat. People are going to stare, but won't ask questions, because they'll be too busy running scenarios in their head and making it worse than it really is.

"Ugh. I look hideous," I whispered, looking at myself one last time before I jumped into the shower, in the hopes that it would shake me out of the haze I was in. I had no such luck. I ended up washing my hair with body wash, and my body with my conditioner. I felt like I was going insane.

When I was finished with my shower, I dried off, got dressed, and walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat. I was surprised when I heard voices that weren't coming from the television.

"You're such a summer's eve!" Alice squealed.

Summer's eve? That's what she calls Jake behind his back when she thinks he needs to grow a pair and ask me to be more than friends.

Raising my eyebrow, I walked over and saw Jake sitting on the couch next to her. They seemed to be engaged in some sort of stare down and didn't see me walk in.

"Um… Hello?" I said timidly, not sure what was going on.

"Good morning, Bella!" Jake said, breaking eye contact with Alice.

"Bella! How are you today?" Alice asked sweetly. A little too sweetly.

"Good morning, Jake. Hey Alice, I'm alright… What's going on?"

They both looked at each other, reluctant to speak. The silence was becoming louder. I couldn't take it so I just walked out of the room, back into the kitchen, to complete the task I set out to do.

I must be hallucinating. Alice and Jake never hang out together without me.

Shrugging. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table enjoying the marshmallowy goodness of my Lucky Charms. I ignored the hushed and hurried whispered going on between Alice and Jake and finished up, going back into my room.

I stayed true to my promise and decided to call Rose. After four rings, she picked up the phone, sounding breathless.

"Hey Rose, its Bella. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

Oh god. I hope I didn't catch her in the middle of sex or something… that'd be terrible!

Well it depends on who she's having sex with… Emmett, or the man you want to be having sex with.

Ugh. I don't want to imagine her having sex with either of them.

No, you just want to imagine yourself having sex with one of them.

Well, maybe both. Emmett is a look-- Wait, what the fuck am I thinking? I shouldn't think about having sex with EITHER of them.

"Bella! Hey! No, you didn't. I was just going for a run on the treadmill and saw your name pop up on my caller ID, so I answered."

"Oh, cool," I said, wishing I had enough discipline to make myself want to work out.

"So how are you? Haven't heard from you in awhile. I thought you had disappeared off the face of the earth!" Rose exclaimed.

"Um, yeah, sorry about that. I just didn't feel like being around people I guess."

"I can understand that one," she said, chuckling.

We fell into an easy conversation and decided to get together for lunch. After I hung up, I walked out into the living room and found a note from Alice telling me that she had gone out and would be back later that night.

Hm. Wonder what she's up to.

She didn't question you, so you shouldn't question her.

I know. I'm just bored and don't feel like sitting around for an hour before heading out to meet Rose for lunch.

I sighed and decided to do a quick grocery run since all that Alice and I had been living off of for the past few days was cereal. Walking out to my car, I got in and started it, blasting the music, just letting it take me to my musical escape, and drove to the store.

-----

I finished shopping and only got a few looks, which I was thankful for. I was able to just keep my head down and look at the items in the store, instead of looking at people. Rushing home, I took everything inside and put it away; running a brush through my hair and heading back out to my car, so I could drive up to Rose's house to meet for lunch.

Hm... I wonder if it'll be just us, or if she'll be bringing Emmett or the kids. Maybe both.

It didn't take me as long as I expected to get to her house and I felt myself having a miniature anxiety attack, thinking about the last time I had been here.

Edward isn't here. You're not going to jump his bones. You're sober.

But you wish he were here. You wish you were going to jump his bones, and most importantly, you wish you were drunk.

No, no, no. I can't think that way. Rose is still Edward's wife. Rose is who I'm hanging out with this afternoon. I still don't know what's going on with her and Emmett and until I know for sure that things are over, I won't be doing anything.

So once you find out that things are over between the two of them, you'll jump his bones?

I didn't say that.

No, you thought it.

No… It's not what I meant. I just meant that…

That he's still very much a part of your fantasies and you want to do naughty things to him.

Enough. Stop talking.

Then stop thinking.

"Bitch," I muttered under my breath.

HA! You just called yourself a bitch!

Groaning, I got out of my car and walked up to the door finding it wide open.

I walked in, calling out, "Rose? I'm here!"

Looking around, I didn't see her so I headed up the stairs, still calling out her name. "Rose? Hey Rose, it's Bella! Where are you?"

Silence. I wonder what's up with that.

"Hello? Anyone here?" I called out, as loud as I could without screaming, finally reaching the top step.

That's when I saw it.

Whoa. What… The… Fuck!?

"Oh my God! Rose? I'm so… Uh… EW… I'll just… Um, uh, go… Walk that way!" I said, practically running down the stairs.

"Wait! Bella! It's not what it looks like, I swear!" Rose said, running after me, attempting to straighten out her clothes.

"It looks like I just caught you and Emmett having a little math action in the middle of the hallway!" I screamed, trying to get the images out of my head.

"Well, okay. Then it is what it looks like." She said, shrugging.

"Did you not hear me call out your name, announcing that I was here?"

"No, I didn't. You see, when I get into… That… All of my attention is focused on it, and I don't pay attention to anything else."

"What's going on? Are all the rumors true then?" I asked, obviously knowing the truth already.

"Come on, let's just go to lunch. I'll explain everything there," she said, pleading with her eyes.

Sighing, I nodded my head. "Okay, but I'm going to need a lot of alcohol to get that image out of my head."

She laughed. "That works. By the way, what happened to your nose?"

"Um… I'll tell you over lunch?"

"That works."

Just then, Emmett appeared at the bottom of the stairs and I couldn't help but notice that he was still sporting a tent.

"Shit. I didn't even let either of you finish, did I?" I asked, then immediately put my hand over my mouth embarrassed for saying that out loud.

Their laughter filled the house and I walked out of the door, completely mortified.

"Bye Emmett!" Rose yelled, running out after me and grabbing my arm and leading me to her car.

Oh, God. I don't think I can get those images out of my head. I need to bleach my brain out.

Well, now you know that something is going on with her and Emmett, so now you're in the clear to do stuff with Edward.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

No, but it makes for a very pleased Bella.

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Wow, you're becoming such a bitch.

Hey, I'm not a bitch!

Yes, you are. You even said so yourself.

No, I called you a bitch!

Um yeah, hi, I AM you!

"Stupid fucking inner monologue," I mumbled.

"What?" Rose asked.

"Oh, nothing," I said, smiling at her and cursing myself internally for having yet another argument with myself.

My smug little inner fucker just smiled and stuck its tongue out at me, relishing in the fact that I felt like I was going crazy.

We arrived at the restaurant and Rose pulled up to the valet while two attendants rushed over and opened both of our doors.

"Thank you," I said smiling. He just winked at me and closed the door, escorting me over to Rose.

"Getting your flirt on, Bella?" Rose joked. "You know, I'm sure I can find someone to hook you up with. You're not seeing anyone, are you? Especially not that one guy who you talked about that one night, right?" She held up two fingers when we walked in indicating that it was just going to be us, and the hostess nodded, leading us to a table.

I just kept quiet and followed the hostess, not really feeling like answering Rose's questions until I had a little bit of something alcoholic in me.

Does drinking before five o'clock make me an alcoholic?

I sat down and looked at the menu, turning all the questions in my head, and attempting to ignore Rose's intense stare.

"Well…?" She questioned.

"Well… What?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Are you still seeing that one guy?"

"What's up with you and Emmett?" I immediately asked, trying to deflect the attention off of me. Honestly, I didn't know what was going on with me and Jake. Last night had been the first time I had seen him, and the only time I felt butterflies the whole night was when I literally ran into Edward. But, that wasn't something I could tell Rose.

Now it was her turn to become quiet and uncomfortable.

"Come on, Rose. You can't tell me nothing is going on because I walked in on you two doing… Well, you know what you were doing," I said, cringing.

"I wouldn't say nothing is going on. Just that it isn't a big deal." She shrugged.

"Not a big deal? How is that not a big deal? You're married!"

"Not for much longer…," She whispered so quietly I almost didn't hear her.

"What do you mean? What's going on?"

"I'm filing for divorce from Edward."

"Wow," I said, sitting there completely floored. Come on now, it's not like you can act surprised. It was pretty obvious that things were ending between them. Rose and Emmett. Edward seducing you… Don't be so naïve and stupid.

"Yeah. Well, it's been a long time coming and I just hope it doesn't catch him as off guard, as it did you. I mean, it was pretty obvious that something was going on with me and Emmett. Every rumor starts with a little bit of truth," she said nonchalantly.

"Well, fuck me," I said.

"Yeah, tell me. Who is fucking you?" She asked.

"No one," I said, blushing and looking down.

Yet. My inner bitch said, doing a completely inappropriate happy dance. Yet, because now this means you can bump uglies with Edwaaarrrdd!

"What about that guy?" Rose asked, completely interested.

"What about him? I saw him for the first time in two weeks last night, but we really didn't do anything. I mean, all he did was hug me and let me cry on his shoulder."

"What were you crying about?"

"Just a combination of a lot of things. I had been ignoring everyone until last night, and Alice took it upon herself to snap me out of my zombie state." I shrugged.

"So, after two weeks, you finally see this guy. You hug, you cry, and nothing else happened? You didn't jump him? Girl, no wonder you were crying! You need some sexual relief!"

I giggled. "Last night wasn't about that. He had a gig at a bar. He did dedicate a song to me, though…,"

"He what?" She squealed. "He sang you a song and you didn't jump into bed with him? What is wrong with you? Wait, how did you get that bruised nose? Did you get into a fight with one of his groupies and lose? Is that why you didn't jump into bed together?"

"Rose!" I gasped. "I did not get into a fight with a groupie last night! I happened to literally walk into Edward last night. His chest to be exact."

She looked stunned. "I didn't know Edward was there. He said he had to work a double-shift at the hospital."

"Oh, um… Maybe he was there on his break?" I said, not realizing that I had just ousted her husband.

"Maybe…," She said, looking pissed and unconvinced.

"Look, Rose, I don't know his reason for being there other than the fact that he said he was having a couple drinks with some of his colleagues. I didn't really question him on it. I was a little too preoccupied with the fact that my nose hurt like a little bitch and hoping it wasn't broken."

Just then, I heard a familiar tinkling laugh. Looking around, I spotted Alice in the corner with some guy.

"Huh. That's strange. Alice is here and with a guy?" I said out loud.

"Alice? Your roommate?" Rose questioned.

I nodded my head. "I wonder if I should go say hi."

"Let's both go say hi. I haven't seen her in awhile, and I've always enjoyed her company," Rose said, smiling.

Standing up and linking arms, we headed over to the back of the room where Alice was seated.

I stopped dead in my tracks, two feet away from the table, when I saw the guy she was with lean over and kiss her. She didn't pull away, and instead, furthered the kiss.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Rose asked, looking back at me, not seeing what was going on.

Alice pulled away and looked in my direction after hearing my name. "Bella? What are you doing here?" She asked, nervously.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked, seething. Rose finally noticed what was going on and wrapped her arms around my waist, holding me back from slapping my best friend.

"It's not what it looks like, I swear!" She said, hiding her eyes.

"That's the second fucking time I've heard that phrase today and the first time it turned out to be true. If it's not what it looks like, then please do enlighten me. I'd love to know why you're sitting here making out with Jake!" I spat out.

Jake finally taking notice that I was being held back by an angry looking blonde stood up and walked over to us, placing a hand on each of our shoulders. "Look, nothing is going on…," he said nervously.

"I've heard that today, too, and that was not true as well."

"Bella, please hear me out," Alice sobbed out.

"No. Thank. You," I said through gritted teeth, pulling myself loose from Rose's embrace around my waist and Jake's hand on my shoulder. "I thought you were my best friend, Alice. What happened to you waiting for Jasper to return? Huh? What happened to you waiting around for that to happen?" I screamed, not caring that everyone in the restaurant was watching this little scene unfold.

"Bella, Jasper is gone. I can't sit around waiting forever for someone who probably will never return," Alice whispered.

I turned around and ran back to the table, grabbing my purse and taking off out of the door.

I heard footsteps behind me, but didn't care to turn around and look.

"Bella, wait!" Rose called out, catching up with me and grabbing a hold of my hand. "Come on, I'll take you to my house so you can get your car."

Afraid to speak for fear that the tears filling up my eyes would spill over, I nodded and followed her over to the valet.

They retrieved her car and she tipped them. I didn't wait for anyone to open my door. I just jumped in and buckled up. "Let's go. Please Rose," I begged.

She put the car in drive and sped out of the parking lot towards her house.

After a few minutes of silence, I finally swallowed the lump in my throat down far enough to be able to speak. "Rose, can I stay with you? I can't stand to go back home and see her."

"For sure, Bella," she said, looking over at me. "I know I shouldn't be the one giving you advice about men and relationships, but you shouldn't stay with someone who would cheat on you with your best friend. I know that if I had found Edward with another woman, I'd probably want to slap the bitch too…"

I wonder what she would do if she found out that Edward had tried to make it happen with me.

"But other than that you don't care? You don't care that you're doing the exact same thing to your husband?"

"Of course I care. But judging by your reaction, it seems like you care more than I do. Why does it bother you so much about what I think about my husband seeing another woman? Is it because the guy you were seeing is now screwing your roommate?"

Biting my lip, I let my hair fall around my face to shield the tears that were now freely falling down my face. "I care because Alice moving on means the one thing that I've feared the most is true."

"And what's that?" She asked quietly.

"That my brother is never coming home."

-----

Jasper was not my real blood brother. However, he was the closest thing I had to family.

I don't remember much about my real parents. My mom died when I was young from cancer, and my dad stopped living after that. Not that I blamed him, but I didn't understand it at all. Being six and losing your mom was tough. I can't even begin to imagine how my dad felt. Here he was, a single parent to a little girl. He used to sit around all day, drinking. There was rarely a time when he wasn't living in a drunken stupor. When I was eight, I was called into the school office and told that my dad had committed suicide. At the time, I didn't really understand what it meant. All I knew was that he was no longer around, and that I had to go live with a bunch of other kids in foster care.

That's where I met Jasper. He had been living in foster care for a few years. He never talked about his parents. He never had any real desire to. He became my best friend. My confidant. My brother in every sense of the word. Jasper was two years older than I was and took on the role of my protector. If it wasn't for him, I don't know where I would be. He was always the person I could turn to and talk to about feeling abandoned, and shut out, and alone. He always helped to make me feel not so alone.

After a particularly rough eighteenth birthday, Jasper left foster care and took me with him, signing on to be my legal guardian. We grew impossibly close and I introduced him to Alice, who had become my best friend in junior high. They started dating and I couldn't be happier for them. They seemed perfect together.

Jasper was one of those cool kids, who hung out with the dorky kids who had a lot of potential to be hot and cool if they changed their wardrobe and wore contacts instead. He was never mean or rude to anyone he hung out with. Everyone was just drawn to him. His personality made him easily approachable. He never let his past affect who he had become.

Or so I thought.


A/N Alright, you know the drill. Review please? Let me know what you think... and if you'd like to answer this question, please do so in your review.

You've all heard of "The List" right? The one where your significant other puts down the names of the people they'd love to sleep with -- no consequences... Well, who are the top five people on your list?

Mine are:

1. Kellan Lutz
2. Peter Facinelli
3. Jackson Rathbone
4. Jim Sturgess
5. Robert Pattinson and/or Patrick Dempsy

(yes, I know there's six there...but I didn't want a Twilight filled list hahaha. I promise it's significant to this story. And if you answer... I'll send you pictures of the celebs you talk about... or at least I'll try to!)

Okay, long ass author's notes over. Sorry!!