A/N: A teeny tiny bit of Zoro angst. Ah, I felt like it. Though now I'm wondering how exactly the hell I'm gonna end this, dear reader. I was very tempted not to upload any more of what I'd written. I said I was done with story, but the urge to write was sprung upon me a few days ago just when I thought it was done and now there are at least two more chapters. What fail. Here's the first of the two.

Enjoi~


Luffy breathed.

He held onto that sight like it was his saving grace. He'd been so unsure, so afraid that his captain would stop. But now he was stable, according to Chopper, and Chopper was going to be the best doctor in the world, so he couldn't dispute it. He let the relief sink into his muscles, sluggishly working its way through his brain. His captain – his friend, his nakama – was going to live.

No thanks to him, of course.

Memories of the events of the past twenty-four hours had plagued him ever since Miyoko had said those cruel words: "Too bad you weren't there to help him, eh?"

Too bad… he thought, gritting his teeth, but I'd had every opportunity to help him.

He remembered, back on the Thousand Sunny as they spotted Yuya on the horizon, Luffy had prepared to rocket with every intention of taking the snoozing Zoro with him, as per usual. But Zoro had heard the telltale laughter of a rubber captain about to fly and, realizing his own danger, had rolled quickly to the side to avoid the hand grabbing at his shirt. He had caught a glimpse of Luffy's disappointed, quizzical face as the rubber man's hand connected instead to something small and furry that squealed – definitely not Zoro – and then both he and Chopper were gone, sailing through the brilliant late-afternoon sky toward the island. If only he hadn't moved, he would have been with Luffy from the moment they landed… Maybe, he thought now, his eyes widening, damn, that look he gave me… maybe Luffy knew something would happen. Maybe that's why he – but he always takes me with him. He couldn't have known that that trip would be so different… could he?

But, sometimes, Luffy just knows things, he answered himself, shaking his head.

And then he had grudgingly offered to find his wayward captain. Merely thinking about that made his stomach ache. He remembered how much he had wanted nothing more than to continue his nap until they docked. He remembered with a pang how relieved he had been when Nami said no.

But he hadn't had to follow the devil-woman's orders; he could have easily taken Mini Merry II or a rowboat and gotten to the island faster than the ship, who cares what the bitch said. And he hadn't. He had settled back for a nap.

Then he had ignored his instincts while in that tavern. He should have been on his guard no matter what. And instead he fell asleep, and let himself be caught, wasting precious moments of Luffy's time, time the rubber man couldn't afford.

Guilt moved through him in waves, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. The tendons of his hands stood out as he clenched them subconsciously, closing his eyes and fully experiencing the remorse. A horrid voice in his head whispered that if he had been a better first mate, it wouldn't have come to this. He'd shirked his duty. He could have sliced those bounty hunters to ribbons had he been with Luffy, and no one would have gotten hurt. It was all his damned fault.

He opened his eyes and stared at the boy on the bed. Luffy's wan face was no longer creased in pain, but his breathing was labored – he'd had a lot of internal bleeding. The black hair was dirty with blood and sweat and dust, and looked strangely unruly without the simple hat to press it down. His mouth was partially open, and the soft whish of the air passing through it seemed to echo in the tiny room.

Luffy breathed. That was all that mattered now.

"I'm sorry, Captain," Zoro whispered to the sleeping form. "I swore to you I'd never lose again, and I think I did tonight." He paused, rubbing the old straw of the hat's brim between the rough thumb and forefinger of his right hand. His head felt heavy, and he let the weight of his guilt pull his chin down to his broad chest.

He suddenly recalled the pain he'd endured a month ago. Luffy's pain. He winced outwardly, for no one was there to see. His eyes squeezed shut, and he fought the obnoxious urge to let the threatening tears fall. He'd come so close to losing him twice, in such a short space of time. I'm stronger than this, he berated himself. Luffy breathes. It was going to be okay. They had both survived their ordeals.

He sighed and tried to relax. He meditated. It seemed to be working – his breathing steadied and his emotions were mastered.

The memory came out of nowhere.

He had tried to forget. But how could he, really, with the hat there in his hands?

"Keep… Boshi," Luffy whispered, looking at him – or through him, all the way to his core, as he had a habit of doing – with tired eyes. Zoro was startled by the words, by the fact that his captain was alive. He'd been so sure… but this was Luffy, after all. How foolish of him to think his captain could be dead without first achieving his dream.

Their eyes locked. Zoro raised a hand and lifted the hat gently off the other man's matted black hair. When Luffy could see it firmly in Zoro's hands, he smiled. "… safe…" was all he could manage with the red pouring out of the hole beneath his ribcage that Zoro had just created by removing the spear. His eyelids closed, his head falling to the side to touch his cheek to the brown stone, and the exhausted agony returned to his face. His first mate watched him slip into unconsciousness and felt sick when the agonized look remained.

In a rush of movement, Zoro grabbed the pale, limp hand. He squeezed the fingers and let go.

"Get well," he commanded his oblivious captain in his low voice.

He reclined his chair against Chopper's worktable. Seconds later, the yellow straw hat, resting on Zoro's chest, rose and fell in a gentle rhythm that matched the older man's breathing as he slept.