[BeLieViNG iN You]

Chapter 8: To be or not to be, that is the question

"Truth had me up against the ropes
and semi-concious without no boxing skills
Fear of it makes hair on my neck grow like monoxodil
Watchin the clock is ill when, faced wit' the truth..."

Cold bastard. Hermione stared out the window vacantly, her mind obviously elsewhere. Outside the sleet and last night's snow turned the street into a giant dirt slushy.
She wondered what it would be like to run out and lie in the melting filth, make snow angels on the damp concrete driveway.
She rolled over, causing Kensington, Josh's dog, to jump off her bed and stare at her resentfully from the cold floor.
In what dreams may come...
If she could only sleep. If she could only escape these dreams.

Draco lay on his back, listening to the rain on the tin roof. He guessed that this guest wing must've been an extension because the rest of the house had slate on the roof. How...cheap.
Strangely enough, he wasn't missing home. He did wonder what his father was up to. His mind glided smoothly over Narcissa, ignoring her existence and all the bittersweet memories that went with her name. It hurt too much. He couldn't. He wouldn't. Her existence was a lie. She was dead.
The room felt strangely empty and cold without Potter. Not that he'd ever admit that of course, short of a lobotomy and personality transplant. Watch the rain....
It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring...he went to bed and bumped his head and couldn't get up in the morning...
Hmmm, what was the mudblood doing?

He sighed and rolled over to glare at the neon display of his alarm clock.
10:00 am.
Maybe it was time to get up.
Maybe it was time to go.
Maybe it was time to leave.

Maybe it was time to say goodbye.
He felt a cold jolt to somewhere within himself.
Lying on the avenue of broken dreams.
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"Let the truth be told, from young souls that become old
From days spent in the jungle, where must one go
To find it, time is real, we can't rewind it
Out of everybody I met, who told the truth? Time did..."

"Hermione?"
"What?"
"I need to go to the shops."
"Ok."
"Do you or Draco need anything?" Josh had to raise his voice to make the muffled sound pass through the door.
"No."
"Ok. I'll be back around 5."
"Yeah."

Hermione got out of bed ever so slowly, flopping on her stomach and dragging herself along the floor. On her TV, the Teletubbies were frolicking happily.
Exhausted from the effort of navigating the world commando-style, she rolled onto her back and stared at the roof, the only sound being the ticking of her clock and the faint rustle and rush of water from the bathroom.
What can you remember, Hermione? What about your friends and dreams before Hogwarts?

Her first crush... James D'Arven... a smile touched her lips as she remembered the last time she saw him.
The beautiful curve of his neck as he expelled the smoke, his handsome profile and expression of utter bliss. The backdrop of woodland and sky behind his head. The way he looked at her.
"How you been doing, 'Mione?"
And her first kiss...he tasted sweet and smoky...
It made her crave it. Just try it. When was the last time she had done something forbidden?
Oh yeah, that's right. She ended up in hospital.
Stupid 'Mione. Should stick to following rules.

Yuri. Happy, shining Yuri. Riiiight, remember that time when Masako stole that car and you were looking up at him, and he looked down at you as the highway of the world sped by? Everything blurred, the light was shining lines like in those time-lapse photos. There's no such thing as potholes when you're with Masako and Yuri...the world just flows so smoothly...
He had looked so beautiful then.
And Yuri was so delighted in the backseat.
She had always wanted them to be together.

What happened? And poor Harry. She had to call him up soon.
But no...for the moment let her discover the truth...

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"So constantly I seek it
Wonderin why I gotta drink a six pack to speak it
Took a picture of the truth and tried to develop it
Had proof, it was only recognized by the intelligent..."

Draco frowned as he soaped himself over. It was...too cliche. The bad boy falls for the good girl...la la la they settled down and live happily ever after. If he didn't know better, he'd swear that somebody had put him under a fairytale curse.

He didn't love her. He didn't even like her. He stuck his head under the spray and squeezed his eyes shut as he rubbed the shampoo from his hair.
Sure, she was hot. So? Any girl could be hot given the right situation.
Well, at least he wasn't attracted to fags like Potter.
Ow ow ow shampoo in his eye.
Dammit, now his eye was going to be red.
And he couldn't use magic because he wasn't at home and he was within the "underage wizard alert" area.

What could he do? Certainly not go home.
To die...to sleep...
To sleep...
Perchance to dream...
Suddenly he was weary of this world. Weary of this existence. If only he could be reborn...see this world through a new light.
Feel the rain on his face again as it traced a path from his eyelashes, curving down his cheeks and running into his mouth against his open lips.
Numbly he got out of the shower and not even bothering to dry himself, he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked blindly to the hall balcony.
He threw open the doors and welcomed the icy cold, succumbing to the numbness as the wind battered him and the rain bruised his tender face.
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What was he doing? Hermione peeked out of her door, to see Draco standing in nothing but a towel as the rain lashed down in torrents, soaking the hallway landing's tiles and making puddles as the water dripped down his pale, marble body. The waterlogged towel clung to his thighs as he stood with his eyes closed, arms outstretched.
Slowly he stepped outside, moving towards the edge of the balcony.

"Malfoy?" She whispered.
"Malfoy..." Screams, a dilemma, a truth untold and lies circling viciously as they nipped at her head. Black and white crimson images flashing through her mind.
She needed to be held.
"Malfoy!" She called, running blindly towards him.
Sometimes your mind plays tricks on you.
And in stormy weather anything can be believable.
Because the clouds dimmed the light. The lightning flashed and thunder spooked. The rain, soaking in torrents fogged your vision.
And under the rain, under the maelstrom of swirling clouds two teenagers were tricked. Into believing the illusion of love.

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She ran towards him and wrapped her arms around his narrow waist. Stood there for an eternity until she felt his arms wrap around her waist, his hands buried in her hair. Taste the rain on his lips, on his skin.
Kiss the rain.
Moving backwards as the door slams shut and all that is heard in the house is their breathing and the rain howling outside.
The shower...the shedding of the soaked second skin. Feverish kisses, burning intensity. No passion greater than hate.
No words.

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Hermione woke up in her bed the next morning.
"Where am I?"
She panicked at the blank. What time was it, what happened since yesterday morning, had she been sleeping the whole time? Was it just a dream?
Looking at her wrist she saw the faint baby pink peach colour of new skin. Of scars.
And out of the corner of her eye she saw the shadow duck from sight and fade away.
So it was true.
No regrets.
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"Good Morning 'Mione." Her dad rumbled happily as he chowed down his breakfast. She grunted in reply.
"What are you doing today?"
"Not sure."
"Ok dear. Well if you need some money, you know it's in the spaghetti jar, ok?"
"Mmm."
With half a piece of toast dangling from her mouth she trudged her way back to her room. Past the living room. Pause. Draco sat there, already dressed and draped elegantly across the sofa.
She snarled and grunted through her sandwich. It was almost as if it never happened.

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She knew she should feel...disturbingly happy. I mean, first time and all, right? Running her fingers through her hair she sat at her desk, pen in hand.
Forget about it. It was time to think about Masako now.
She had to break him out tonight. How? Magic, of course.
Then what would she do with him? Her parents wouldn't really care to have another anonymous male in the house.
Involve Josh?
Too risky. She didn't want to get her brother in trouble.
The door creaked open.
"'Mione?"
"Hey Jacob, what's up?" She put her pen and paper aside for the moment, and cleared her head.
It seemed like it had been so long since she'd had time to really talk with her little brother. He looked pretty distraught. She pointed to the bed.
"Sit." And he obeyed.
"Tell me what's the matter."
He took a deep breath.
"I..." He screwed up his face and tried again, his finger tracing along the patterns on her duvet.
"Hermione...I think I might be magical too." He whispered.
Her eyebrows raised. It was a possibility. A rare one, but a possibility no less.
She looked at her little brother. He looked so forlorn and lost.
"Don't you want to be magical? Like me and Draco?" She asked gently. He nodded his head vigorously, but wouldn't look up.
"Jacob...well if you are, I'll start training you in some stuff. When you're twelve, which is in two years, you'll get a letter from Dumbledore and you can come to Hogwarts."
He frowned.
"But you won't be there." Hermione's heart fell, he just looked so cute.
"Come here, silly." He approached and got pulled into a hug.
"Just because I'm not there doesn't mean I can't help you, does it?" She brushed away his hair from his eyes. He'd be a heartbreaker when he was older.
"We don't get to talk very much anymore, and I realise that everything that's happening might be very strange for you. But there are some situations that can't be helped, and to deal with this is all a part of growing up."
"Ok."
"Alright? Well you go figure out if you're magical...here, try and do something with this horrid hat Aunty Francis gave me and then whenever you want to talk, I'm here."
"Ok." He smiled and sniffled a little, then ran out the door.
She looked up, smiling, then her smile dropped.
"Cute kid." The shadow spoke.
"Yeah."
"He'll probably be smarter than you." Draco smirked.
"Pfft."
"Can I come in?" She waved her hand in reply, and Draco came in, with Snowball following closely.

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I didn't know what to say to her. It just seemed so wrong...we should be all lovey-dovey, not acting as if it didn't happen. Well, we know it happened. But...it just didn't seem like a big deal.
I didn't know. If I started being all lovey-dovey and romantic then she'd probably slap me and shake me. If I started being an asshole again, she'd kick me out of her house. I found myself realising that I didn't want to leave this house, this temporary 'home' that I'd found. Not just yet.
Maybe we could even be friends.

"Uh...So what are you doing?" I cleared my throat.
"Nothing much. Hey. You help me!" She declared, as if she'd just had a brilliant idea as she pointed her finger at me. I narrowed my eyes. Help her do what? I was a Malfoy. I wasn't going to do anything mundane...especially not gardening or toilet-scrubbing. I wrinkled my nose in distaste.
"You can help me break Masako out of jail!"
I have to admit, I was a little startled. Not a cause Granger would go for so obviously.
"I've got it! We can break him out tonight and he can stay at Harry's!"
Oh God. Why did my heart twinge when she said Harry's name? It was the way she said it. So re-assured. She thought he'd always be there for her. Would he?
Why did I have to remind myself that I had a heart?
"And how are you planning on doing that, Granger? It's not like the movies. Jail-breaks aren't really that easy." I drawled. She gave me a superior look. As in I'm-rolling-my-eyes-because-I'm-with-stupid *insert arrow in my direction*.
"But we're wizards." She emphasised the word wizard.
"Well, a witch and a wizard anyway."
I slapped my forehead and groaned.
"You dickhead Granger, they probably have special wards on a prison. Who are you trying to break out anyway?" Her face went distant on me for a second.
"An old friend. And I believe you can achieve anything if your heart is pure."
It wasn't a diss to me. She didn't mean it. She didn't even know she said the jibe. But I felt it.
And I pretended I didn't.
"Whatever Granger. I'm bored anyway. Can we do something today?"
"Malfoy, you're supposed to be here because you're recovering, not because it's a holiday in Muggleworld. Piss off."
I gave her my most dejected, puppy dog look.
Her eyes narrowed, she knew I wasn't serious. I was just playin. But she sighed.
"Ok. We'll go out today."
Pause.
"But you're getting a lot better, maybe you should be going home soon, Malfoy."
Shit.
I'd better change her mind soon, and fast.
One day of Malfoy loving hadn't changed her opinion of me. Come to think of it...all it had influenced is how I felt about her.
I'm pretty sure I didn't like her.
But the sad truth, and the fact of the matter was...
I think I was falling. For the first time in my life.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Another purely WAFF chapter. I know, I know, I should have more of a plot...and I do! I just lose it most of the time.
Which means this'll be a pretty long story I think.
Depends.
Meh.

CAVARADOSSI
LOL I aim to confuse...If I can't understand it what fun is it if other people can?

REANNE080
LOL Well I usually wait a while because I don't get too many reviews. Well I do actually...but...oh never mind I'm talking crap again. I hope you're enjoying the story...I'm trying not to make it too long but my mind seems to wander off on random tangents...so please bear with me!!

HELEN
heheh it's a Draco/Hermione...is that what you wanted? Because I don't write slash. I just did that for fun. ;)
Keeps the readers on their toes.

TOMMYGURL
LOL cheers for all the reviews!!! Would make you my beta reader....actually I think I'll go send this to you now.

RAGAZZA DOULCE
LOL thanks soooo much for the reviews! I'm pretty sure that I've read a couple of your stories before...your nick sounds familiar. Hmmm I'll go check it out later actually. :P

SILVER MASAMUNE
Cool nickname! What's a masamune? LOL ok if Yuri's name changes throughout the story...ignore me...I keep forgetting what it is :P But she's not that important in the story...actually...nah I won't tell you coz it's a spoiler :P heheh I know Yuri is the word for shoujo-ai (girl/girl love) but that's not what I was implying...I just wanted like a nice girly japanese name that wasn't too long to type. heheh okies

SAMSON
wher? Nevermind, serves me right for not reading what I post half the time...I'm guessing your a guy which in that case I feel sorry for you because this stuff is all mushy until...hmmm...ok the chapter after next *have to set myself guidelines otherwise I'll write crap forever* If you're not a guy...I'm really sorry! Please forgive me because I'm just a poor reject....(as my nice friend Kelly would say)

Ok well aside from all the shit I've been telling you people that probably doesn't matter...the next chapter will be up...hopefully within...soon... :S

heheh tc
keep reading

Lu*Sila