~Anna's Point of View~

I woke up to a monster under my bed. More or less of a miraculous occurrence, it ended up slithering out of my mind, leaving but an imprint where my head rested. The monster was nervousness. I was not sure how to feel about all of this. I couldn't seem to admit to myself that I had feelings for Ciel. Despite this I had a dying urge to kiss him again after what happened yesterday. But I suppose love is odd. It somehow creates nightmares. Nightmares that drown you in possibilities. Nightmares that threaten to grasp on to you until your last breath is forced out of you. I would rather not drown in regret. I suppose Ciel would feel the same way.

I made my way downstairs, preparing for the awkwardness of a lifetime. In the corridor Ciel stood, talking to Lau. Both of their faces were turned towards the window, and of course Sebastian stood by Ciel's side like a shadow. Mutters and whispers were all I was able to make out. But Ciel then waved his hand in dismissal, and Lau and Sebastian slightly bowed and removed themselves. Ciel sighed deeply, still unaware of my presence behind him. But I needed to talk with him. "Uh- um…" I spoke in order to get his attention. "Oh Anna…um… come into my office please…" I followed his lead until we reached his office door and closed it behind both of us. His eyes. They had years of pain scared in them. And I was staring straight into them. "Take a seat." Every sound suddenly intensified and the screeching pull of his chair caused me to winch in pain. "Anna, what happened yesterday… I wasn't thinking straight, so just forget about all of it." A nightmare. "Ciel I don't think you understand that my intentions were clear. I meant to approach you that way. You love somebody so that on hard nights when you feel like giving up, they are there. You savor your memories with them so that when they aren't there by your side, you have their voice to guide you. And for you to tell me that I am not enough. It's like a gunshot to the head." Cradled by nightmares. An ongoing scene of implications. One where the characters are beyond reality and the glass that borders between inessentiality and conceptions is shattered and fades into blurriness. A type blurriness that swears on ignorance and adjustment. Not neither present nor past. Just memories. But my words do not matter. Ciel cannot hear them. I can barely hear them now. And only now did I realize that tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably, I was shivering and shaking. And I wanted someone to hold me, as if I was a child longing for a home of some sort. Ciel was now turned away form me though. "Leave please. And forget what happened." I pinched myself and sprinted out his office, barely breathing as I went to the bathroom and vomited my anger and anxiety that had been held inside my chest for so long.