Olivia ran out to the Rose Garden leaving Fitz with the doctor in the Residence. She paced around the bushes in circles more concerned about Fitz than she ever had been. What was he thinking trying to kill himself? How could he do that to her? How could he do that to Karen and Teddy?
Fitz sat with Eric in the Residence wanting to forget about the session and go find Olivia.
"What are you thinking," Eric asked him.
"How fast can I get to Olivia? Where is she? How pissed off is she? How do I fix this?" Fitz answered.
"What if Olivia doesn't forgive you? Or she can't get over this? Do you know what you'd do?"
"Olivia is the one I can't live without."
"So how do you think you're going to fix this?" Fitz shook his head thinking about what to do. "How have you fixed your issues before?"
"We've fought many times and it usually ended up with either me going over to her apartment and we yell at each other or I have agents pick her up and bring her to wherever I am and we yell there. After the yelling we're back together and everything is fine."
"How long have you two fought before?"
"Our longest fight was ten months."
"That's a while. How'd you fix that?"
"I dragged her into a closet at our goddaughter's christening and… well let's just say I screwed that one up big time."
"How are you going to fix this one?"
"If I find her, I'll be able to talk to her and fix this."
"Do you know what you're going to say?"
"Not a clue. I'll wing it, I guess. This session didn't go as planned. I'll see you next week, same time. Thank you, Eric."
"My pleasure, Mr. President. I hope everything works out with you and Olivia. See you next week."
Once Eric left the Residence, Fitz went to find Olivia. Truly, he had no idea what he was going to say to her. What could he say that wouldn't make the situation any worse? On the way out of the Residence Tom told him that Olivia was in the Rose Garden. Fitz went down to the garden standing on the balcony watching her for several minutes before he decided to bite the bullet and do what he had to do.
"You're going to have a moat made around those bushes with all that pacing," Fitz told her making his presence known.
Olivia stood still for a moment staring at him frowning. After a minute she kept walking in the circle ignoring him.
"You are the one who left, Olivia. You left…"
"Do you really believe that you need to remind me of that? I know I left! I was giving you space to grieve without the reminder that I am the one who is related to the woman who killed your son."
"You didn't have to leave for me to not have a reminder. I will always have a reminder of that. I had Maya Lewis killed. I had your mother killed. Every time I think I got justice for my son I am immediately reminded that I had your mother killed. And I have to live with that every day."
"She took Jerry from you and I can't stop thinking about that. The one person that I love had his son taken away by my mother. By my blood."
"It's just another thing we have to live with. That's all this is."
"Why did you try to kill yourself three times?"
"Because you left. You left without saying anything to me. Or to anyone. And you took Jake with you. You left!"
"THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU KILL YOURSELF!" she yelled at him. Olivia ran towards him and started hitting his chest as hard as she could. "YOU DO NOT GET TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE!"
Fitz grabbed her wrists stopping her from hitting him. "YOU LEFT ME!" he yelled back at her. "What the hell am I supposed to do when you aren't anywhere to be found?"
"Not try to kill yourself!"
"No one knows where you are and you don't call or text or even email when I NEEDED you," Fitz screamed. "So you have no right to judge me when you left first."
"I didn't try to leave life!" Olivia pulled her hands away from his grasp and took a step back looking at the ring she had on. "Everything is supposed to be okay as long as I have this ring on. If I have it, you know that I'm somewhere out in the world and you're fine. Even if I don't love you, everything is fine. What the hell kind of promise is that when you're trying to kill yourself!"
"I don't know what you want me to say, Olivia."
"How did you try to kill yourself the first and second time?"
"I took Mellie's hooch and drank three bottles of it at your apartment. And the second I tried to slice a vein open at your apartment."
"So that's where the blood stain on my couch came from."
"I was going to have that cleaned before you came back. If you ever came back."
"No point, I just bought a new couch. Fitz, do you know what you've done to us?"
"I didn't do anything to us. You caused all of this. I needed you and you left, all this is your fault."
"Don't you dare put all this on me! I never told you to attempt suicide that was you Fitzgerald. Why isn't the secret service doing their jobs? They are supposed to protect you and as far as I'm concerned that means from yourself too."
"I didn't want them in your apartment. I wanted to be alone so I told them not to come in."
Olivia walked around the rose bushes as Fitz sat down on the steps.
"Fitz I can't be your babysitter. I can't be there to make sure you're breathing every five seconds. But I can't be responsible for your death."
"I cannot live without you, Olivia."
"You cannot do that to me, Fitz. You can't make me stay so you don't die. That is not fair."
"Liv please, I need you with me."
"I think you need to get some things figured out before you can really be in any relationship. I'm glad you're in therapy, Fitz. I think Dr. Griffin can help you. So I'm going to go and give you some time."
Olivia headed up the steps through the Oval with Fitz chasing after her.
"Livie please, we can make this work. You're all I have left, I need you, don't leave."
Turning around in the hallway, she looked at how sad he was. He would try anything to get her to stay with him.
"I can't have to worry about you all the time. I do have to worry about me. Right now, neither of us is ready to get into a true relationship and make it work. We need some time apart and then maybe we can be together. We've tried for so long to be together we never really thought of how hard it was to actually be together. So let's give it time and we'll see where we get."
"Olivia, I am begging you not to go. I don't think I can take you leaving again."
Liv wiped her eyes trying to hide her crying. "I'll make you a deal. I will not leave the city if you won't try to harm yourself. We can talk on the phone, maybe have lunch once in a while but we do need our space to figure things out. After a while, we can figure out where we want ourselves to go. Whether it's together or not, we'll find out."
"I will do anything as long as you stay with me," Fitz begged her nearly on his knees in the middle of the deserted hallway in the West Wing. "Please, Livie."
"I will call you tomorrow, Fitzgerald."
"You promise not to leave the city," he asked unsure of what else to do. Either way, Olivia was leaving the White House if he liked it or not.
"As long as you promise not to harm yourself."
"I won't. I swear."
"Then I'll be in DC." Olivia walked towards him and kissed him before she left. At the end of the hall Tom stood listening to the conversation. Quietly, she turned to him getting his full attention. "Someone needs to be watching him every minute. Do not leave him alone."
"Yes ma'am."
